She Said She Has Feelings For Someone - Chapter 57

Chapter 57: Love Letter — Xia Leshuang, I Like You.

June at City S No.1 High School. The afternoon sun was scorching, and Lu Shuyu was jolted awake by the heat.

She was physically frail and sensitive to the cold, but by the time the heat woke her up, many of her classmates were already awake, whispering and leaning across desks to chat. The four students around the neighboring desk were talking excitedly, and their voices drifted clearly into her ears.

“Hey, Xia Leshuang and Bian Xingyao went out together.” “Did you hear? There was a huge mix-up yesterday. Xia Leshuang has always been collecting love letters as if they were fan mail, right? A student thought her accepting it meant she liked him back.” “In the end, Bian Xingyao got jealous and blocked him for her. It looks like they’re the real deal.” “Huh? Oh my god, is my ship actually sailing?” “I’ve already thought of a CP name for them! Let’s call them ‘Xing-Yue’ (Star-Moon), how about that?”

Lu Shuyu dithered for a moment, remembering that “Yue” (Moon) came from Xia Leshuang’s stage name, which was widely known to the public.

“Is that okay?” a girl at the next desk hesitated. “Pang Yue (Holding the Moon) is her stage name, but Leshuang is her real name.” “But I heard Xingyao is going off to film soon too, so it doesn’t matter, right?” “Oh, let’s go with what the ancients said! ‘I wish I were the stars and you the moon, gleaming with light for each other every night.'” “This is fate decreed by the ancients! It has to be Xing-Yue!”

Lu Shuyu felt like laughing. She stood up and stretched. Just as she picked up her school jacket, a figure crouched down in front of her.

“Great Master Lu~”

The moment she heard that voice, Lu Shuyu knew who it was. She looked over helplessly. “I really can’t write it.”

“You can do it, Great Master!” the female classmate pleaded, half-coaxing and half-begging. “Please, just a bite of food for a starving child!”

As soon as she spoke, Zheng Yu turned around from the front row, looking unfazed. “Are you here again to beg Shuyu to write fanfiction about our two campus beauties?”

The classmates who had just been discussing the “Xing-Yue” ship immediately joined the fray, offering “investments” and praying for the Great Master’s mercy.

Lu Shuyu felt a headache coming on. The classmate crouching by her side puffed out her lip and asked aggrievedly, “You’re not… discriminating, are you?”

“Of course not,” Shuyu denied instantly. “It’s not like I haven’t written it before.”

Though she had never liked anyone in her life, she had ghost-written more fanfiction than she could count on both hands. Regardless of sexual orientation, she had written about animals and non-humans; there was no room for discrimination in her repertoire.

The classmate’s eyes lit up, and she moved to grab Shuyu’s leg to beg. Lu Shuyu quickly explained, “I just feel that writing about my own classmates—” She frowned and glanced stealthily toward the back door of the classroom. Xia Leshuang and Bian Xingyao hadn’t returned yet. “Writing fanfiction about two real people who are so close to me feels weird. And I don’t really know them, so it’s hard to start.”

Despite being in the same class for nearly a year, she hadn’t had any interaction with these two “campus goddess” level figures, let alone understood them.

“We understand them!” The shippers volunteered one after another. “Does the Great Master want to know about Leshuang or Xingyao? we’ll give you every single detail!”

Just then, a bright, cheerful female voice drifted in from the back door: “Who wants to know about me?”

Lu Shuyu nearly jumped out of her skin. She froze, not daring to move an inch.

The girl by her leg treated this like a lifeline. While acting cute, she threatened, “Great Master, agree quickly! Otherwise, I’m calling them over!” Seeing Shuyu still unresponsive, she suddenly raised her hand: “Leshuang! It’s—”

Lu Shuyu grabbed her firmly, almost gritting her teeth: “I’ll write it!”

Footsteps approached. The girl gave a “hehe” and stood up. “It’s me! I want to know about Shuang-shuang!”

Xia Leshuang seemed interested. She leaned against the back of the desk, perfectly blocking the scorching sunlight and enveloping Lu Shuyu in shade. “What do you want to know about me?”

Although they had been classmates for nearly a year, the number of times Xia Leshuang actually came to school was rare. This was the first time Lu Shuyu had been so close to her. She huddled stiffly in the shadow, but she didn’t feel cool at all. In fact, it felt hotter than the sunlight.

The girl hadn’t expected Xia Leshuang to actually be interested, but she had to keep up the act, so she asked a difficult question. “I want to know, if you encountered a situation where ‘the person you like already has someone they like,’ what would you do?”

The surrounding students let out a collective “Whoa!” and looked curiously at the person in the center of the topic.

Xia Leshuang pondered for a moment before saying, “Naturally, I’d ask her directly—Who is it? Is she better than me?!”

“Wow—!” “So brave!” “Cool!!”

Lu Shuyu was also stunned inwardly. Her impressions of Xia Leshuang were few: she was a famous star, many classmates asked her to ghost-write love letters to her, and people followed her everywhere. She had always felt Xia Leshuang was far away—even if they were classmates, they weren’t from the same world.

But she didn’t expect that a single sentence just now would shatter the dimensional wall. Immediately following that, Xia Leshuang’s dazzling brilliance and uninhibited spirit shone onto her. Her heart began to race, and her cheeks heated up rapidly. She tried to steady her breathing in the shadows, but it was useless.

“Pfft—”

Someone suddenly chuckled. It wasn’t sarcasm or disdain, just a playful tease. “So confident~”

The students around them erupted into chatter. Lu Shuyu knew this was Bian Xingyao. Her first impression of the “Xing-Yue” ship was formed at that moment: a pair of bickering lovers.

…

From then on, in order to write that fanfiction (which she was charging triple for), Lu Shuyu seriously accepted the “information” from the shippers and gradually learned a lot about the two protagonists. To make her writing feel authentic, she began to secretly observe them, even discovering “sweet moments” the shippers hadn’t noticed yet.

For example, Xia Leshuang was studying Stefanie Sun’s singing style, and Bian Xingyao liked Stefanie Sun. For example, Xia Leshuang would read every love letter like fan mail, and Bian Xingyao would watch from the side until Xia Leshuang guiltily tucked them away.

And for example—the two of them, in a deserted restroom, kissing.

Lu Shuyu was shocked. But then again, two beauties together, matching in looks and complementing in personality—it seemed normal. To protect the secret of this couple, she quietly stood guard near the restroom until they left. She didn’t even tell Zheng Yu when she got back.

In October, on the day of the autumn sports meet, the fanfiction was finally finished, with a “buy one, get one free” bonus. But she never expected the subject of the story to personally seek her out and perform the most ridiculous trope from her own writing.

Due to menstrual cramps, she missed a step on the stairs and fell into Xia Leshuang’s steady, warm embrace. Xia Leshuang teased her using a line from the fanfiction: “Is this a ‘Sister Lu’ falling from the sky?”

The pain was annoying, and her guilt and panic turned into sharp irritability. Lu Shuyu hated her physical weakness for the first time; otherwise, she would have fought Xia Leshuang first and then become her biggest anti-fan!

But Xia Leshuang said nothing and simply carried her bridal-style to the infirmary. She ran so fast that the irritation was blown away, leaving only the tension and worry in the other girl’s eyes.

“Eat a cracker first, then take the painkiller.” Xia Leshuang held the crackers and medicine in one hand and a water cup in the other, bringing them directly to Shuyu’s lips.

Despite the pain, Lu Shuyu found herself noticing how slender and fair those hands were, with well-defined knuckles and clean, rounded nails. I really shouldn’t try to endure the pain; it makes me stupid, she thought.

Once the painkiller kicked in and her abdomen felt warm, she cleared her head. Xia Leshuang was still by her side. The school uniform always looked baggy on Shuyu, but Xia Leshuang filled it out perfectly. The lines of her arms under the short sleeves were beautiful and full of strength.

Lu Shuyu dazed off staring, and by the time she met those black-and-white eyes, she didn’t know how to react.

“Awake?” Xia Leshuang leaned in close. “How is it? Still hurting?”

The concern didn’t seem fake. Much like the warmth in her abdomen, it made Lu Shuyu feel a bit overwhelmed. “No, it… it doesn’t hurt much anymore…”

As she spoke, she moved to sit up. Xia Leshuang moved her hand away, and the warmth on her belly vanished instantly, making her shiver slightly. Xia Leshuang caught the falling uniform jacket and half-embraced her to drape it over her shoulders.

“You, you’re just too frail. You need to eat more and exercise more. If you get stronger, it won’t hurt as easily.”

It wasn’t the first time Lu Shuyu had heard this, but coming from Xia Leshuang’s mouth, it somehow sounded more credible. The person in front of her stepped back. Looking up, Shuyu could see that Xia Leshuang always had such healthy color. Based on what she had learned recently, she knew Xia Leshuang had great motor skills, exercised year-round, and had even started learning Muay Thai this year. Thus, during the morning sprints, everyone had seen a Xia Leshuang as agile as a leopard on the track.

“Really?” Lu Shuyu couldn’t help but ask.

Xia Leshuang laughed, leaning down slightly to look at her. Her smile was brilliant, and her gaze was sincere. “I promise.”

Shuyu didn’t understand the full weight of “I promise” at the time. Only later did she realize it meant “I promise to make you strong.”

Xia Leshuang was a woman of her word. She was dedicated and responsible. Lu Shuyu couldn’t resist her, and the two of them grew closer by the day, eventually becoming friends.

Soon, Lu Shuyu discovered that everything had a deeper meaning. She was “forced” to join the little couple of Xia Leshuang and Bian Xingyao, becoming a new trio. They ate together, left school together, played during breaks, and made weekend dates at the amusement park.

The amusement park was crowded. Since both Bian Xingyao and Xia Leshuang were taller than her, she was held in the middle like their child. She carried the mission of a shipper, quietly collecting material.

Like Xia Leshuang showing off her dart-throwing skills and nearly breaking a finger to look cool. Like Xia Leshuang showing off her Stefanie Sun impression; she sang very well, and Bian Xingyao was surprised, clapping and praising her repeatedly.

Or, for example, when both of them drank strawberry slushes but gave her a cup of hot orange tea. Her protest was ineffective. Fortunately, Xia Leshuang wasn’t that heartless and generously offered her a sip.

Lu Shuyu wanted to get a new straw but was stopped. “Don’t think I can’t guess what you’re up to. Are you planning to take one sip, then two, then three or four?”

…To be honest, she wasn’t thinking that; she was just trying to avoid indirect contact. But now that she mentioned it, it was indeed a strategy. However, with two pairs of eyes on her, she could only take a tiny sip from Xia Leshuang’s straw. It was sweet, cool, and a bit tart—truly delicious.

“Just keep pampering her,” Bian Xingyao rolled her eyes at Xia Leshuang.

On the surface, she looked like their child, but she knew she was actually their “Love Bodyguard.” But both beauties were very kind, and they brought in countless ghost-writing business opportunities. She wrote until her hands were sore and made a fortune. Even Zheng Yu was impressed, not getting angry at her “choosing beauty over friends”: “This is choosing money over friends! Go for it, Little Shuyu!”

Though her friend’s choice of words was questionable, Lu Shuyu didn’t think she was wrong. As long as there was money to be made, she was willing to be this “Love Bodyguard” forever!

…

But change always comes suddenly.

Bian Xingyao transferred schools without a word—even Xia Leshuang didn’t know. The “Xing-Yue” ship was suddenly shipwrecked. While the shippers were heartbroken, they were also worried about the “jilted” Xia Leshuang.

As the “Love Bodyguard,” Lu Shuyu was the first to be pushed forward to comfort her. But she really didn’t know how to comfort people. She forced out a sentence: “Xingyao will definitely do well in City B. She didn’t tell you because it must have been a rush.”

After saying it, she couldn’t help but despise herself: What a stupid thing to say.

The person who was supposedly heartbroken just shrugged, her eyes downcast. “It’s fine. We can still contact each other by phone anyway.”

According to the experience of many fanfics, Lu Shuyu knew that the more someone acts like they don’t care, the more they actually do. She could only offer a forced smile. Her heart tightened. It turned out that someone as bright and uninhibited as Xia Leshuang could also have such disappointed, fragile moments. She looked lonely and pitiful. It made one want to hug her and offer comfort.

Of course, Lu Shuyu didn’t do it. She was frightened by her own thoughts and fled in a panic.

That night, she woke up from a dream. In the dream, she had actually hugged Xia Leshuang, and the other had hugged her back—warm and strong. Even now that she was awake, she clearly remembered the sense of security and satisfaction during that hug.

At that moment, Lu Shuyu understood. She had fallen for Xia Leshuang. She was about to begin a secret crush that was destined to end in nothing.

…

After Bian Xingyao left, school life didn’t change much. Lu Shuyu confessed her feelings to Zheng Yu; she wanted to spend more time with Xia Leshuang in the limited time they had left. Although she didn’t know the exact date, she knew Xia Leshuang was practicing Muay Thai for a role. So, before long, she would leave for a while.

Lu Shuyu didn’t know what her own future looked like, but she knew Xia Leshuang’s would be filled with starlight and the gaze of the masses. They never belonged to the same world.

A secret crush is an interesting thing; you’re the one in control of when to push or pull. All the joy and sadness can surge in an instant and fade just as quickly; they turn into candies, quietly deposited at the bottom of the heart. Occasionally, she’d sneak a taste—sour and sweet appearing randomly. It was quite fun.

Lu Shuyu guarded the boundary, staying by Xia Leshuang’s side as a “good friend.” Autumn turned to winter, and she carefully enjoyed the joy of collecting candies through wind and snow.

The business for ghost-writing love letters decreased significantly, so she picked up the pen herself. She skillfully wrote Xia Leshuang’s name in the greeting, then clumsily wrote her own name at the bottom. This was the first love letter of her life, and it was a letter she never intended to send.

As it turned out, the letter was accidentally opened, leading to her mother’s confusion and questioning. She was heartbroken. But it didn’t matter; they weren’t from the same world, so there would never be a result. Her mother said she would burn the letter, and Lu Shuyu didn’t stop her. She treated it as sending a letter that no one would ever receive.

The day after she composed herself, she unexpectedly ran into Xia Leshuang at the bottom of her building.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” She checked her phone but found no unread messages.

Xia Leshuang smiled. Her nose and ears were a bit red; who knew how long she had been waiting. “Little Shuyu,” she asked, “Do you like me?”

The winter neighborhood was quiet. Every word fell clearly into Shuyu’s ears; there was no avoiding them. She could only stay silent—partly because her mother’s lack of understanding was still ringing in her ears, and mostly because she didn’t want to hear Xia Leshuang’s polite rejection.

However, Xia Leshuang quickly laughed. “Just kidding!” “I’m going to my grandmother’s house. I was passing by and thought, if you like me, you could come with me.”

In an instant, the meaning of “like” had changed; it was another way for friends to express “Are you a good enough friend?”

Lu Shuyu couldn’t tell if she was relieved or disappointed. She just shook her head. “I have to do some spring cleaning with Teacher Lu today.”

“Okay,” Xia Leshuang didn’t insist. “Then I’m off.”

“Okay,” Lu Shuyu waved and took a step back. “Bye.”

Only after those words did Xia Leshuang start walking. She walked away step by step, a bit stiffly, without looking back. Lu Shuyu watched her figure fade, thinking she must have frozen from waiting too long.

…

Boom—

The rain poured down.

“So, Shuyu—the person you like—is she better than me?”

Time suddenly snapped back to that scorching afternoon. She was huddled in Xia Leshuang’s shadow, her heart racing and her cheeks burning.

— “Naturally, I’d ask her directly—Who is it? Is she better than me?!”

It turns out, you didn’t like her. It turns out, you’ve always liked me.

There were still many regrets that hadn’t been filled, but at this moment, they no longer mattered. Lu Shuyu only wanted to be one with her heart.

The youthful and damp kiss ended. Their noses touched, their breaths intertwining ambiguously. The dim nightlight illuminated their eyes—filled with a burning, lingering love.

“Xia Leshuang, I like you.” “There is no one else. It has always, only, been you.”