She Adopted Me After My Biological Mother Passed Away - Chapter 40

“Then, do you want to be my girlfriend?”

“Love…” Shi Shuxue repeated the word to herself. She felt a twinge of regret, the love Chi Yeyu gave her was the meticulous care and affection one shows a family member or a junior. While she certainly needed that, she was too greedy, she wanted far more.

Zhou Qing, still immersed in the excitement of witnessing a “sugar drop” far more potent than anything on a fan forum, nodded in agreement. “Yeah, your guardian likes you so much, and you see it so clearly, so why the conflict? Did you have a fight?”

Shi Shuxue said gloomily, “No.”

“That’s good then. You should just go find her.”

Shi Shuxue: “I blocked her.”

Zhou Qing: “Huh?”

“Because Chi Yeyu is an idiot. She’s annoying me,” Shi Shuxue said with a frown, her pout deepening imperceptibly.

Looking at how Shi Shuxue’s face lit up with more spirit just by mentioning Chi Yeyu, Zhou Qing thought it looked more like someone acting spoiled because they knew they were loved.

She asked excitedly, “Why did you block the Great Chi? Because she wouldn’t perform with you and left the band without permission?”

“It’s not because of that… though that was annoying, it happened a long time ago.” A year ago, when Chi Yeyu was still abroad, Shi Shuxue’s sense of security was at its lowest, she couldn’t bear to block her then, fearing that if she did, they would never see each other again.

“She refused me something recently. She clearly said I could make any birthday wish and she’d fulfill it, but she broke her word. I’m very unhappy.” Shi Shuxue thought to herself: This is the first sin.

“And she’s been getting very close to the drummer who used to teach her. They have a great relationship, and she’s never called me by such an intimate nickname.” The second sin.

“She also gave something meant for me to someone else. Even though I didn’t really want it, it’s still not okay.” The final sin.

As Shi Shuxue finished listing Chi Yeyu’s “Three Great Sins,” her expression grew more dissatisfied. She turned to see Zhou Qing covering her mouth, her eyes curved with tears from trying desperately to stifle a laugh.

…What was so funny?!

Shi Shuxue expressionlessly tossed her empty coffee cup into the recycling bin and said, “Don’t tell anyone. Don’t tell a soul!”

“Alright, alright, I know, I know.” Zhou Qing nodded like a chick pecking at grain, laughing as she caught up. “I didn’t realize your relationship was actually that good. How long do you plan to keep her blocked this time?”

Shi Shuxue wasn’t strong-willed; she usually wanted to unblock her right after doing it. Now that four hours had passed, she was struggling to hold out. She said with extreme childishness, “I’m going to wait for her to notice.”

Chi Yeyu noticed at 5:00 PM.

As the person who knew Shi Shuxue best, she immediately guessed the reason for the tantrum. Seeking outside help, she called Yu Xiu, the idle member of the band. “Help me call Shi Shuxue and get her out of the house.”

Yu Xiu, who was staying warm at home, was surprised. “Why don’t you call her yourself? Did she put you on the blacklist or something?”

“You’re so smart, how did you guess on the first try?” Since Chi Yeyu needed a favor, she complimented Yu Xiu indiscriminately, making Yu Xiu feel awkward. “It’s like this: I made her angry and she’s ignoring me, but I want to go mess with her tonight. Cooperate with me, let’s work together to get her out to play. Boo hoo hoo.”

Yu Xiu let out a “tsk.” “Stop ‘boo-hoo-ing.’ How old are you? Maybe Shi Shuxue is angry precisely because of this behavior. Tell me what you want me to do.”

“I have an idea!”

On the other side, Shi Shuxue was in the library reviewing course materials when she suddenly received a call from Yu Xiu. She tidied her desk, grabbed her bag, and checked her screen as she walked. Once outside, she slowly answered: “Hello? Sister Yu Xiu, is something wrong?”

“Hello, your ‘guardian’ is sick. Come to the hospital to see her!” Yu Xiu’s tone sounded extremely urgent, as if she were being coerced, or as if Chi Yeyu were lying in the ICU and this was the last chance to see her.

Shi Shuxue’s mind went blank for a moment. “For real?”

“Real, totally real! How could it be fake?” Yu Xiu said hurriedly, quickly looking at the next line Chi Yeyu had sent her in the WeChat chat box. “I’m already at the school gate. Come out from the West Gate and get in the car. I’ll take you to the hospital.”

Infected by the panicked atmosphere, Shi Shuxue actually believed it. She responded, “Okay. I’m coming right now.”

If Chi Yeyu had a private doctor but was going to a hospital, how serious was it? Was it a car accident?

Worried about Chi Yeyu’s safety, she forgot to ask more questions. She didn’t even care about the delivery food she was supposed to pick up, she hung up and rushed toward the school gate.

Once the call ended, Yu Xiu felt she had sacrificed too much for those two. She silently prayed that Shi Shuxue wouldn’t direct her anger at her.

It was all Chi Yeyu’s rotten idea!

Shi Shuxue’s small leather boots made an urgent click-clack on the stone path in front of the library. Her heart felt as if an invisible hand were squeezing it, thumping hard against her chest.

The more she ran, the more panicked she became. Yu Xiu’s anxious voice echoed in her head: “Chi Yeyu is sick,” “Go to the hospital.” What happened to Chi Yeyu? What illness? How could such a healthy person suddenly be hospitalized?

But illnesses can fall like a mountain. Even though Chi Yeyu was healthy, she was already 27, only three years away from thirty. Rounding up, she was nearing middle age, and after middle age comes old age.

The more Shi Shuxue thought, the more frightened she became. She shouldn’t have deliberately made Chi Yeyu angry. Who knew if her body could still handle such drama?

Moreover, Chi Yeyu never watched where she was going, always looking up at the sky. If she had been hit by a car, what would happen? Would she need surgery? Would Shi Shuxue need to sign for it?

The winter day was dry and cold. As she ran, the freezing wind poured into her mouth and eyes. Shi Shuxue utterly loathed the size of her campus at that moment, it took ten minutes to run from the library to the West Gate, and she couldn’t find any available shared bikes.

Her nose felt sour, and the wind whipped a few tears from her eyes, which clung wetly to her frozen, pale cheeks.

She blamed her own childishness. It was just a small matter; why couldn’t she resist blocking Chi Yeyu? If something really happened, what if she didn’t get to see her one last time?

Chi Yeyu!!!

She was running out of breath, the stray hairs on her forehead damp with sweat and clinging to her skin. Her palms were cold and clammy. As she passed the delivery window, she didn’t even glance at it, she had only one thought: Faster, faster.

Shi Shuxue, who usually took four minutes to run 800 meters, exploded with incredible strength in this emergency, covering two kilometers in less than ten minutes. Finally reaching the empty West Gate, she leaned over her knees, gasping for air. She scanned the entrance anxiously but didn’t see Yu Xiu, only a familiar black off-road vehicle parked by the curb.

That was Chi Yeyu’s car. Thinking the driver had come to get her, Shi Shuxue rushed forward, only to see the window slowly roll down, revealing Chi Yeyu’s smiling face.

“Xiao Xue! Merry Christmas!”

Shi Shuxue’s footsteps came to a dead halt. Her hands on her knees tightened instantly, and her eyes went wide. Her chest was still heaving violently, the cold wind chilling the sweat on her back, but the cold and fatigue were nothing compared to the shock, anger, and confusion hitting her heart.

Chi Yeyu!!!

She stared blankly at the face in the window. Chi Yeyu’s complexion was healthy, her lips were rosy, and she looked radiant, where was there even a hint of illness? In fact, there was an irrepressible joy in her eyes, as if she were enjoying Shi Shuxue’s disheveled and anxious state.

The worry, regret, and panic that had surged throughout the run, along with the stifled sobs, now clogged her throat, turning into a hot wave of grievance that rushed to her eyes.

Shi Shuxue sniffed, her red nose trembling. The tears she hadn’t finished crying earlier surged up, rolling down her cheeks.

“Chi. Ye. Yu!” She gritted her teeth, her voice carrying an irrepressible sob and the fury of being deceived. “You lied! You aren’t sick at all!”

Seeing her actually crying, the smile on Chi Yeyu’s face vanished instantly. She pushed the door open, got out of the car, and walked quickly to her.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Chi Yeyu reached out to wipe her tears, but Shi Shuxue turned her head away. “I didn’t mean to lie to you, it’s just… I wanted to see you for Christmas, but I was afraid you were too angry to come out.”

“A surprise?” Shi Shuxue gasped, her tears falling even harder.

Chi Yeyu had no idea how scared she had been. She thought something had happened, she had run two kilometers, and her legs were so weak she wanted to collapse and kowtow to Chi Yeyu.

On the way here, she had thought that if Chi Yeyu were okay, she would apologize until dawn, she would never go against anything Chi Yeyu said, she would never get angry, and she would never hit or scold her.

Clearly, that was all a lie.

Chi Yeyu was the one who should apologize!

She was so angry she could die, she just wanted to pin this person to the ground and beat her up to vent.

“Are you really that angry? Don’t cry, Xiao Xue. I really didn’t mean it. I just wanted to see you, play with you, and explain that I don’t have any ‘over the line’ relationship with Ci Tang, and tell you…”

Chi Yeyu leaned down to coax her. Seeing her crying so hard she could barely breathe, Chi Yeyu for once, didn’t know what to do. Her usually quick-witted brain froze at the sight of Shi Shuxue’s tears.

Night fell, and the Christmas snow began to fall at some point. Fine flakes drifted down, landing on bare branches, in the cracks of the red brick road, and on Shi Shuxue’s wet, long eyelashes.

There was no one else around. The air was crisp and cold, inhaling it felt like cool mint, making every emotion feel exceptionally transparent.

“What do you want to tell me?” Shi Shuxue wiped her eyes and glared at her with red eyes, looking like a fierce little bunny in the snow.

Chi Yeyu held her shoulders with both hands, staring into her eyes. She paused; the words that should have come out smoothly failed to find their way.

Shi Shuxue thought she simply had nothing to say. She turned her head away. “Chi Yeyu, is it fun to play with me?”

“No, I never intended to play with you!”

“Is it because you know I like you, and you know I can’t do anything about you, that you think you can just tease me whenever you want? You only come to find me when you’re bored, treating me like a pastime. When you’re busy, you can go a whole year without seeing me, leaving me behind without a thought. You do whatever you want and never ask me. You treat me like a pet you can discard at any time!”

Shi Shuxue’s voice trembled with both condemnation and grievance. There were many points in her emotional outburst that Chi Yeyu could have refuted, but she only caught the opening sentence. She froze. “…You like me.”

Shi Shuxue suddenly threw off her hands.

It was impossible to distinguish between snow and tears. Her eyelashes held droplets, her cheeks were wet and cold, and she could barely keep her eyes open. Her voice was clearly sobbing, as if the cold wind were tearing at her vocal cords. In a rare moment, she shouted:

“Yes, Chi Yeyu, I like you! I’ve had a crush on you since I was sixteen! Do you think that’s hilarious? Are you proud of yourself?”

Why, why can’t you just feel it?

She liked Chi Yeyu so much, so much that her eyes were filled only with her. Everywhere she looked, even the falling snowflakes took on Chi Yeyu’s silhouette. She liked her so much that every plan for the future was densely inscribed with Chi Yeyu’s name.

In spring, she wanted to watch cherry blossoms fall with her; in summer, she wanted to listen to the sea in the evening breeze with her, in autumn, she wanted to walk through golden leaves with her and in winter, she wanted to be wrapped in the same snow like this, keeping each other warm.

She gave all her softness and childishness to Chi Yeyu, hiding all her care inside her stubbornness toward her. Even throwing a tantrum and blocking her was just a way to get her to look at her more.

She thought back to high school. When exactly did she fall for Chi Yeyu?

Was it after seeing the band perform for the first time? That night, she had a dream she was too ashamed to talk about, a dream featuring those long, powerful hands and Chi Yeyu’s clear, amber eyes.

She had woken up, held her hands in front of her eyes, stared at her slightly damp fingertips and the pitch-black ceiling for a while, then got up to wash her underwear in the bathroom.

Perhaps from the very beginning, her feelings for Chi Yeyu were never purely familial.

The snow fell harder, landing on her head and shoulders, as if trying to bury her secrets in this blanket of white. She choked out, tears streaming down along with the snow: “I’m offering my whole heart to you now. Can you see it?”

The words were out, spoken in a moment of reckless abandon. When she didn’t get a response, she turned to leave, but her wrist was gently caught by Chi Yeyu.

Chi Yeyu’s palm was warm, enveloping her icy hand. “Shi Shuxue.”

“…What do you want?” Shi Shuxue’s eyes were red and wet, her voice cold and hard.

She knew Chi Yeyu would reject her, perhaps even try to “educate” her, but she didn’t want to stand in the snow like a fool listening to those things.

“Then, do you want to be my girlfriend?” Chi Yeyu asked.

She carefully cupped that pale face. How could someone cry so much? Shi Shuxue’s dark pupils were shimmering with water, tears mixed with snow slid down her cheeks and dripped onto the ground, creating tiny, sparkling marks in the snow, like stars falling into a drift.

Shi Shuxue thought she had misheard. After a moment of silence, she spoke hoarsely, “Chi Yeyu, today isn’t April Fool’s Day.”

“I know. I’m not teasing you. I’m serious.”

Chi Yeyu rested her forehead against Shi Shuxue’s, her warm breath hitting the tip of her nose. She confessed in a low voice: “Shi Shuxue, I like you too. Do you want to be with me?”

In an instant, the whole world seemed to go silent.

Shi Shuxue wondered if this was just a way Chi Yeyu had come up with to pity her and make her happy, or if she was in a beautiful white dream.

Maybe she had died on the way here.

But whether it was a dream or not, she could never bring herself to reject Chi Yeyu. After doubting for a long time, she simply asked, “Why?”

“Why? You’re asking why I like you?” Chi Yeyu smiled softly, pulling her into her arms. Her lips brushed against the hair at her temples. “It’s hard to explain. I don’t know when it started, but whenever I see you, I just really want to kiss and hug you. Whenever I see you sad, my heart aches so much. I want to chase away every person who has a crush on you or watches you, and leave only myself by your side.”

But she had known she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t allow her growing feelings to run wild, just as she couldn’t let the weeds in the snow overgrow the protective fence. She was Shi Shuxue’s guardian, the person legally responsible for sheltering her from the wind and rain, she shouldn’t have led a minor astray just to follow her own whims.

She knew the weight of that status, she knew the eyes of the world, and she knew even more that she couldn’t ruin Shi Shuxue’s life.

She had expressed her love as intimate family affection, hiding her true feelings in her heart. Shi Shuxue’s laughter filled her with joy, and her tantrums were things she endured gladly. In the daily scenes of domestic life she had imagined countless times, there was no one else, only the image of that girl.

While abroad, she forced herself not to think about it, forced herself to keep her distance. Shi Shuxue was still a child who hadn’t fully grown up, her character wasn’t set, and her sexual orientation was a question mark. Who knew if she liked men or women?

But then she felt that her girl should find someone who could tolerate her foul temper, someone who could coax her, tease her, follow her every whim, never let her feel aggrieved, and be willing to take her hits and scolding.

…Well, that was her!

She was never one for following the rules anyway. And so, on this snowy White Christmas night, after receiving Shi Shuxue’s confession, that crumbling sense of morality in Chi Yeyu completely collapsed in the face of this mutual heartbeat.

Why bother with a tantrum? She simply took Shi Shuxue’s hand with joy and said yes.