Shadowed Love: A Lover Who Refuses to Let Go - Chapter 50.1

Yin Yunzhu was kissed awake.

She opened her eyes to find the room dimly lit, the curtains filtered with a pale yellow glow. The air was thick with a damp, shy, and mature scent. Jiang Menghe was propped up on one elbow on the pillow, leaning down to kiss Yin Yunzhu’s forehead.

After returning yesterday, the two had been entangled from the living room sofa to the guest bedroom bed. Jiang Menghe had been more immersed and serious than ever before, her movements so intense one might have thought she’d swapped souls.

In truth, the mask of gentle hypocrisy had simply been peeled away, exposing her true nature.

She seemed to derive pleasure from the act of kissing itself, letting her lips fall repeatedly like dragonflies skimming water, all while watching Yin Yunzhu’s reaction with those affectionate, almond-shaped eyes.

Seeing her wake up, a lazy, weary voice sounded: “You’re awake?”

She was bare-chested from the waist up, the thin quilt barely covering the smooth lines of her waist. Jiang Menghe had a beautiful figure—slender without being skeletal. Now, the hickeys on her neck and shoulders bore testament to the madness of the night before.

Feeling Yin Yunzhu’s gaze, she gave a light laugh. “Your body is certainly honest.”

Yin Yunzhu had no energy to play along with such intimate jokes. She turned her face away in silence. Her eyes, usually bright, were now dull and dark, reflecting no light.

Provoked by this reaction, Jiang Menghe’s expression chilled as she leaned in to kiss her again.

“I’m not in the mood right now.” Yin Yunzhu used her hand to push her away, staring directly into her eyes without fear.

She accepted everything happening before her with a calmness that felt like the sea before a storm, brewing a sudden, violent change in weather.

This edge of indifference felt like a resolve made after a struggle with logic, causing Jiang Menghe to feel a sense of unprovoked panic.

“It’s a bit late for that; everything has already happened.” She easily brushed Yin Yunzhu’s hand aside. The latter didn’t resist, merely staring at her silently.

Jiang Menghe felt a spark of irritation; her stabilized emotions were always so easily overturned. She covered Yin Yunzhu’s eyes with her hand and lowered her head to capture the lips of the person beneath her.

Even though she had arrived yesterday with a “sink or swim” attitude and said many cruel things against her heart, she ultimately couldn’t bear to see Yin Yunzhu in pain. The rough, predatory kiss gradually turned tender and coaxing.

She lightly swept the tip of her tongue across Yin Yunzhu’s palate. A wave of intense sensitivity and itching hit; Yin Yunzhu shuddered, a soft whimper escaping her throat.

Capturing this reaction, Jiang Menghe was surprised, her face immediately lighting up with a faint look of joy. She took a few more tentative kisses, then caught Yin Yunzhu’s palm and placed it over the left side of her chest.

“My heart is beating so fast right now.”

The contrast was jarring—the way she spoke now compared to her previous obsession made her seem like two different people. The satisfaction in her voice sounded like the sighs of someone immersed in happiness.

The vivid red mole on her left breast looked decadent against her fair skin, adding a touch of the seductive.

Yin Yunzhu felt like a puppet completely under control, allowing the other person to pull the strings and arrange her into a shape that suited her desires.

“Do as you wish. You don’t need to consider my feelings.”

Jiang Menghe’s grip gradually loosened. “When have I ever not considered your feelings?”

“Last night?” Yin Yunzhu turned her head to meet her gaze, her eyes as piercing as candlelight. “And right now?”

Her hand lost its support and fell onto the pillow beside her. Jiang Menghe let her go, withdrawing the knee that had been pinning her down. “And have you ever considered my feelings?”

She suddenly remembered something, and her movements became forceful once again. “If you considered my feelings, you shouldn’t have gone on a blind date with someone like that.”

It was an insult to her. Jiang Menghe would not allow someone clearly inferior to her to easily obtain everything she wanted.

The pressure of her hand increased as she stroked Yin Yunzhu’s jaw. “Regarding that childhood friend of yours, I can keep one eye closed. But with that man…”

Before the words “it’s impossible” could leave her mouth, Yin Yunzhu broke free from her restraint, her brow furrowed deep. “Me and Bella?”

The confusion was genuine. To have the two of them—whose friendship had never been questioned—suddenly linked in this way was preposterous to her.

She perhaps guessed the reason for the woman’s change in attitude: she actually thought she and Bella had some shameful secret relationship.

The thought was nauseating. If she truly were involved with Bella, she wouldn’t have been so wavering and indecisive when she first faced Jiang Menghe’s feelings.

Seeing that her expression didn’t look like an act, Jiang Menghe narrowed her eyes and didn’t speak further.

“How could you—” Yin Yunzhu caught herself. She sat up so that the conversation could feel more equal. “How could you say that about me and her?”

It boiled down to the blurred boundaries she shared with Bella; it turned out even Jiang Menghe could feel insecure. But the two were like strangers now; expired trust and explanations could only bring a bit of peace—they couldn’t serve as leverage for reconciliation.

However, if she could free Jiang Menghe from her current state—from this fearsome version of herself—she felt it was necessary to explain.

“Bella is my childhood friend. Our families are close, and Yin Xuan likes her too.” Yin Yunzhu forced herself to be patient, not even understanding why she was saying so much.

She had clearly made up her mind to never have any further entanglements with Jiang Menghe.

“More than love, she is a very important friend to me. She’s become family.” Though it was an explanation, it sounded more like a challenge—questioning why the woman insisted on seeing two close people in that light.

Perhaps the word “family” stung Jiang Menghe’s ears. She grabbed the pillow beneath her and threw it onto the bed.

“Family? You’re willing to start a family with her? If that’s the case, why did you put on that deep-loving act in front of me!”

“Even if I were ‘acting,’ you’re the one who walked away without looking back!”

Yin Yunzhu raised her voice in rebuttal, her shoulders trembling uncontrollably with emotion.

Her view of love and the universal transition to familial affection were completely separate things. If love eventually faded into familial duty, how was that different from a partner you just “partnered up” with to get through life?

Having dealt with books and words for years, Yin Yunzhu’s thoughts were inevitably colored by Utopian ideals.

Seemingly stunned by her reaction, Jiang Menghe stared at her in silence, then suddenly laughed. “So what if I am?”

“You think I’d be jealous over some childhood friend? In reality, who cares?” It was unclear if she was trying to convince Yin Yunzhu or herself.

“You’re just the first one I’ve been with. That’s all.”

No matter how mature one’s mind, one can still be reckless and lost in their first relationship.

The phrasing “the first one I’ve been with” made Yin Yunzhu very uncomfortable. “If you don’t care, it’s the same with anyone once the lights are out. So why come looking for me?”

The question struck the deepest obsession hidden in Jiang Menghe’s heart. That burgeoning sentiment was so glaringly obvious it caused her a flicker of panic.

She refused to admit she was the subordinate one in this relationship.

“So what if you don’t like it? If you want to cut me off completely, what do you think the media will write?” Jiang Menghe sneered, her hand gently stroking her face.

“What do you mean?” Yin Yunzhu froze.

“Didn’t you want to go public?” Jiang Menghe tapped her own lips. “Then I’ll just tell everyone—”

“You’re crazy!” Yin Yunzhu’s heart hammered violently. “Do you want to destroy us?”

Even if she didn’t consider Yin Yunzhu’s wishes, she should at least think of herself. Jiang Menghe was in the rising phase of her career. If her private preferences were broadcast to the public, she would undoubtedly face a barrage of criticism and condemnation.

Yet she didn’t care at all, behaving like a desperate outlaw willing to do anything outrageous.

Yin Yunzhu had moved past her most sentimental phase; she had lost the courage to stand beside the woman. It wasn’t hard to imagine the consequences: her personal information being doxxed, the film project that had just started being halted, Shan Songyue potentially losing her job, and even Yin Xuan not being able to hold her head up at school…

The thought of her family looking at her with disappointment filled her with despair.

Furthermore, their relationship could no longer return to what it was. Making such a sacrifice for a “friends with benefits” arrangement was simply not worth it.

Jiang Menghe watched as Yin Yunzhu’s expression shifted from anger to silence. The curve of her lips gradually dipped into a very light sneer.

“Won’t you have me by your side?”

“Jiang Menghe,” Yin Yunzhu took a deep breath. “If it ever truly comes to that, I will absolutely hate you for the rest of my life.”

Yin Yunzhu always knew how to hurt someone the most. No matter how resentful her eyes were, the weight of her words never left any room for doubt about their truth.

She meant it.

“Shut up.” The woman’s calm tone warped slightly.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

Yin Yunzhu did indeed shut up, afraid of provoking her again. She wrapped herself in a bathrobe and walked into the bathroom. Amidst the clattering sounds inside, she announced: “Once you’ve packed your things, leave. Don’t show up in front of me ever again.”

Her anger was a kind of stubborn rationality. She pulled out a trash bag and threw in the tooth cup and toothbrush Jiang Menghe had left behind.

Even during the time she was most hurt, Yin Yunzhu hadn’t been able to bear taking those things off the counter, keeping them there as a memento.

That one sentence last night had already left her heart riddled with holes.

After adjusting the hot water, she stepped barefoot onto the non-slip mat. The warm stream flowed over her neck and shoulders, as if trying to wash away those traces of intimacy.

As she closed her eyes and let her mind go blank, she seemed to hear a noise outside.

Yin Yunzhu hadn’t come home all last night, didn’t pick up her phone, and didn’t reply to messages. No one knew where she had gone. Following Shan Songyue’s instructions, Bella decided to come to the apartment to try her luck.

The doorbell hadn’t rung more than a few times when lazy footsteps sounded from inside. Bella subconsciously ruled out the possibility of it being Yin Yunzhu.

The one who opened the door was Jiang Menghe.

The passion had been wild; last night’s clothes had been torn. She had found a set of Yin Yunzhu’s clothes in the closet to wear. The beige blouse gave off a hint of warmth, dispersing the gloom about her.

The only discordant note was the mottled kiss marks on her slender neck ranging from crimson to purplish-blue, with edges fading into yellow.

Bella thought she was hallucinating. Before she could even speak, she saw Jiang Menghe’s brow furrow.

“What are you doing here?” Her voice was cold and rejecting.

This attitude instantly enraged Bella. Although she hadn’t quite figured out the situation, she had heard far too much about the woman’s “hypocritical” nature from Yin Yunzhu. Seeing her in person only made her look more loathsome.

In a fit of fury, Bella shoved the door wide open and squeezed her way in, pushing past Jiang Menghe.

“How do you have the face to question me!” She scanned the living room. “Where is Yin Yunzhu? What did you do to her? I want to see her!”

To Jiang Menghe, this frantic display looked like the breakdown of someone who couldn’t handle the blow—she saw a reflection of her own shadow from a few days ago.

A sense of superiority suddenly bloomed in her heart. She deliberately adjusted her collar and cast a light, suggestive glance toward the master bedroom. “Her? She’s… taking a shower.”

In the past, Jiang Menghe would have found such a move beneath her. But to provoke Bella, she had lost some of her sanity.

Hearing that Yin Yunzhu was in the shower, Bella’s forward momentum halted. Her mind was as clear as a mirror, yet she refused to believe it. Even if Yin Yunzhu had a gentle temperament, she wasn’t the type to “eat old grass,” especially after her boundaries had been crossed.

Thinking of this, she pointed at Jiang Menghe: “You forced her, didn’t you? It was you!”

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