Shadowed Love: A Lover Who Refuses to Let Go - Chapter 48

“Curiosity” is an Insult When Used to Describe Her Relationship with Jiang Menghe

Yin Yunzhu gripped her script tightly, too nervous to look Ai Xue in the eye.

The other woman’s gaze was sharp and perceptive; a woman’s intuition is always stronger. Especially after that question was asked, even the assistant standing nearby looked over.

The surprise in the assistant’s eyes stung Yin Yunzhu even more. She stood stiffly like a silent statue, completely speechless.

“Why isn’t Teacher Yin speaking?” Ai Xue tilted her head, her curious, exploring gaze gradually turning into mockery, as if she were looking at some rare species.

Yin Yunzhu didn’t want to seem too passive, so she replied, “Your imagination is a bit too… curious.”

“Curious”—using such a word to describe her relationship with Jiang Menghe felt like an insult. Yet, if they were ever truly thrust into the public eye, that word would be the primary label formed by countless stereotypes.

“My imagination?” Ai Xue laughed until her shoulders shook slightly. “Teacher Yin, you’re far too sensitive. I was just asking a casual question.”

“That joke wasn’t funny.”

Having easily provoked tension only to dismiss it like a prank, Yin Yunzhu felt played. Her tone sharpened.

“I’m sorry. I get over-anxious whenever it involves Sister Menghe,” Ai Xue said, still smiling.

She picked up her cup and took a small sip of the lukewarm coffee, the bitterness spreading from the thin straw. Seeing that Yin Yunzhu was still dazed from the conversation, she tapped the table.

“It’s just that Sister Menghe is so good to you, it’s easy for people to misunderstand. Keep your distance next time.”

Yin Yunzhu couldn’t tell if this was well-intentioned advice or malicious speculation. She felt as though Ai Xue had come over specifically to mark her territory, which sparked a flare of inexplicable annoyance.

While she and Jiang Menghe had been entangled in bed, whispering intimately, this person was probably still playing an unknown extra somewhere.

Thinking this but unable to say it, Yin Yunzhu replied tactfully, “She’s kind to everyone. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have pushed herself to help you with your scenes in the middle of the night.”

The curve of Ai Xue’s lips faltered. She opened her mouth several times but remained silent.

“She doesn’t help just any female celebrity,” she finally whispered after several minutes of consideration.

To Yin Yunzhu, these words sounded like a desperate attempt to save face. She didn’t want to stay here and talk about Jiang Menghe anymore. She had finally managed to escape her for two days, only to have her presence forced upon her by someone else.

To her, Jiang Menghe was like a ghost that refused to move on.

She closed her script, stood up, and left one final remark: “You probably have a lot in common with her fans. I don’t follow that stuff, nor will I provide the emotional validation you’re looking for by praising her. I’m just a small screenwriter working for the crew. Excuse me.”

The sense of superiority found in the “upper class” was etched into Ai Xue’s bones. Yin Yunzhu realized that Ai Xue likely knew about her relationship with Jiang Menghe but was hesitant to point it out directly with so many people present.

Of course, she wasn’t doing it for Yin Yunzhu’s sake, but for Jiang Menghe’s. Yin Yunzhu had no doubt that if a photo of the two of them in bed ever fell into Ai Xue’s hands, and she wanted to ruin Yin Yunzhu, she would find a way to leak the photo while blurring Jiang Menghe’s face.

Curious.

Ai Xue must have been very proud to hear her own frantic attempts to deny it by using such a disparaging word.

Yin Yunzhu crouched by a stone pillar in a corner. The sunlight was fierce, making it hard to keep her eyes open. As the morning grew brighter, the sparsely populated set began to fill with people. Mi Ying arrived late, a tofu roll hanging from her mouth, looking as if she had been dragged to work the moment she woke up.

Yin Yunzhu felt miserable again. She felt as though she were a terrible person. Her past dreams of a future with Jiang Menghe had become a joke; for the first time, the slimness of their hope felt real.

Ai Xue was just a reflection of how everyone else would feel. She had to understand that if she stayed with Jiang Menghe, the road ahead was destined to be treacherous.

Perhaps the feelings between them should have been severed a long time ago.

May Day was a long holiday. Even though the daily equipment and location rental fees were high, He Ping was generous enough to grant a holiday to the hardworking crew.

Yin Yunzhu packed her light luggage and prepared to fly back to Quancheng.

The airport was a chaotic sea of people. She was practically pushed forward by the crowd, guarding her bag while making a video call to Ms. Shan.

“The airport Wi-Fi is bad, I’m hanging up.”

A pair of dark, round eyes stared from the screen. Xiao Yu seemed even “meatier” than before; as he walked, the fat on his belly swayed from side to side, and the texture of his fur looked clearer and glossier.

“You have to bring me something yummy!” Yin Xuan didn’t know how to find a good camera angle; her face took up half the screen.

“Can I buy it once I’m back?” Yin Yunzhu couldn’t free her hands, trying to check in at the kiosk while talking.

“Just bring her some ‘northwest wind’ to eat! Something yummy? She’s dreaming!” Bella’s voice came from off-screen. Then the screen went black as the two began to scuffle.

“Stop being so mouthy!” Yin Xuan protested loudly.

“Then come and hit me!” Bella provoked her, and their “battle of the century” began again.

Shan Songyue picked up the phone, and the screen cleared. “When will you be back? Do you want me to pick you up at the airport?”

“I should be back before lunch.” Her suitcase disappeared onto the conveyor belt. Yin Yunzhu clutched her small bag. “By the way, why is Bella there?”

“My family went traveling and I’m the only one left,” the woman’s voice boomed from a distance, piercing through the microphone.

“I asked Bella to come over for dinner,” Shan Songyue replied with a smile. Nearby, Bella was standing stiffly as Yin Xuan, as agile as a monkey, clung to her and wouldn’t let go, tugging at her collar until her zipper was a mess, biting wherever skin was exposed.

“Okay, wait for me to get back.”

The direct flight within the province didn’t take long, but boarding was a waste of time. By the time Yin Yunzhu got home, it was already one in the afternoon.

Opening the door, she saw Yin Xuan standing on a stool in the dining room, stealthily grabbing shredded meat and throwing it into her mouth. After being scolded, the girl scurried over and dove into Yin Yunzhu’s arms.

Carrying the scent of travel, Yin Yunzhu stood her suitcase by the door and struggled to change her shoes while holding the little girl.

“Let me change my clothes first before you cling to me,” she said gently, reaching into her pocket to pull out a small acrylic standee. “Here, a gift for little Xuan-xuan.”

“Ah! It’s a little mouse!” Yin Xuan danced with joy, clutching the standee and letting no one touch it.

Time had been tight. On the way to the airport, many shops hadn’t opened yet. Since the Pingcheng airport was in the suburbs, and Yin Yunzhu didn’t want her sister’s expectations to go unfulfilled, she had carefully selected one at a souvenir shop before boarding.

Bella was helping Shan Songyue heat the dishes. She walked out of the kitchen and saw the little girl in the living room like a happy sparrow. She couldn’t help but nudge Yin Yunzhu.

She made a beckoning gesture, cleared her throat, and whispered, “Where’s mine?”

Yin Yunzhu was puzzled. “Where’s your what?”

“Uh, okay.”

Bella pulled her hand back, only to see Yin Xuan quickly assemble the standee and rush over to mock her: “Hahaha! You get… the North! West! Wind!”

At that, Yin Yunzhu immediately understood and stood awkwardly. “I’m sorry, the bag was too small to fit much. I only bought one for Xuan.”

Her bag was one of her few delicate, small ones. She had bought a plush coat while shopping earlier and had paired it with this biscuit-shaped bag. While it looked nice, its capacity wasn’t even as large as the pocket of Yin Xuan’s schoolbag.

“You’re so mean,” Bella said with a long face. “And here I was, preparing a gift for you.”

Yin Yunzhu went into the bathroom to wash her hands, unconcerned. “It’s not like I’ve been gone for two or three years. What gift are you preparing?”

“A Labor Day gift!” Bella nudged her elbow and lowered her voice mysteriously. “Do you have any plans for the holiday?”

“Updating. I need to make up for all the chapters I owe.” To focus on the script, she had posted a one-month leave notice for her ongoing novel. If she didn’t pick it up now, she feared her readers would all run away.

“Can’t you have some higher pursuits?”

Bella slapped her forehead, opened the photo album on her phone, and showed it to her. “Judge this.”

As an international trade salesperson, she loved mixing confusing English words into her daily vocabulary.

The man in the photo had regular features and deep, well-defined eyes; he looked quite upright. Yin Yunzhu frowned and brushed it off. “You know I’m the worst at judging these things.”

Didn’t all humans have two eyes and a mouth? If it were an alien, she might at least pay more attention.

In this regard, Yin Yunzhu had always been slow.

“Why are you so unresponsive!” Bella said, exasperated.

“I spent ages picking this man out. If it weren’t for Auntie Shan nagging you all the time, I would have kept him for myself…” she grumbled, then swiped to the next photo.

This man looked refined with fair skin—a trendy style popular with young people.

“This one is okay too, but I think handsome men are unreliable. They’re masters of sweet talk and look like the type to cheat,” Bella commented. “But if you like him, you could date him just to shut up your relatives.”

“You can read faces now?” Yin Yunzhu’s voice was as calm as a deep well as she took a tissue to dry her hands.

“Experience.” The woman tapped the screen proudly.

She even opened WPS and pulled up a pre-made spreadsheet, listing the details of both men clearly—it was comparable to a background check by an HR manager before an interview.

One was named Jiao Minghui, the other Ye Yan.

“According to you, I should look for someone ugly then?” Yin Yunzhu walked out of the bathroom with Bella following her like a tail.

“Of course not. I mean someone upright and responsible—”

“But I only want to pick someone I like.”

“I know. Didn’t you just have a breakup? I want you to move on quickly…”

As she spoke, Bella’s voice grew more uncertain. Just as they stepped out of the hallway, a yellow “ball of fluff” rushed forward and collided with her thigh.

Yin Xuan bared her teeth. “Don’t you dare try to steal my sister away from me!”

“Isn’t it good to have one more person to love you?” Bella said, exasperated, trying to shoo her away like a chick.

Shan Songyue had originally tried to plant this idea in the child’s mind, but doing it too often had produced the opposite effect. Yin Xuan was naturally more dependent on Yin Yunzhu, and now she acted as if someone were trying to steal her sister’s love.

“No!”

“What business is it of yours, you little brat?” Bella tugged at her braid. “You haven’t even hit puberty and you’re already managing your sister’s love life?”

She had a loud voice, and just then, Shan Songyue walked out of the kitchen carrying fish soup. Hearing this, she looked up. “Who’s going to fall in love?”

“Mom Bella wants to find a boyfriend for Sister!” Yin Xuan said, as if she had found her savior. She hugged Ms. Shan’s leg, wiping her tears and snot all over her mother’s pants.

“You…” Bella held her breath, glaring fiercely at her when no one was looking.

Hearing this, Shan Songyue was delighted and excited. “Really? Is there anyone good?”

Yin Yunzhu felt a headache coming on. She pulled out a wooden chair and sat opposite the window. “Mom, how could it be so fast? How old am I even?”

She was used to being alone. If a stranger suddenly burst into her life, she would feel as though her territory were being invaded. Plus, having just split from Jiang Menghe, she needed enough solitude to buffer the transition.

Yin Yunzhu wasn’t heartless like that woman. She treated her feelings especially her first ones with constant sincerity and passion. Perhaps it had been too breathtaking; everyone she met afterward seemed dull in comparison.

It was like a fleeting, ethereal dream, yet also like a hideous, centipede-like scar—deeply etched into the soul and impossible to forget. Writers are always the most sentimental; promising an abundance of love to someone who has already failed you turns that love into a source of agony.

“Twenty-six isn’t old, but back when I was your age—” Shan Songyue cut herself off with a wave of her hand, having nearly brought up her failed marriage. “Forget it, it’s not worth mentioning. Anyway, you’d better hurry. When I’m gone, who will be left to take care of you?”

 

“Isn’t Xuan still young?” Yin Yunzhu argued stubbornly. At home, she was always quiet and shy; she didn’t even know how to raise her voice when talking back.

 

“Xuan will be lucky if she can take care of herself. Besides, as the older sister, shouldn’t you set an example for her?”

 

The older generation’s thoughts were stubborn and conservative, deaf to the persuasion of others. Knowing that continuing the topic was futile, Yin Yunzhu nodded as a sign of agreement.

 

Satisfied that the “child” had been convinced, Shan Songyue sat down with her bowl of rice.

 

“Bella, you have to keep a close eye on her. Keep the ones with good prospects for yourself first, and if there are extras, give them to her.”

 

The way she spoke made men sound like cabbages in a market waiting to be picked. Bella, who had been unexpectedly singled out, sat up straight and replied dutifully, “I know, Auntie Shan. I’ll keep a lookout.”

 

“But she’s been busy filming in Pingcheng lately, running back and forth. Let’s wait until she’s settled back in Quancheng. Long-distance relationships are too unstable.”

 

Even though Bella usually stood on a united front with Shan Songyue, she always found a middle ground to help Yin Yunzhu deflect. Yin Yunzhu looked up and sent her a grateful glance.

 

“True,” Shan Songyue nodded. “You should learn from Bella; she knows what’s good for her!”

 

“She hasn’t found a ‘big brother’ either,” Yin Xuan chimed in, pouting as she bit into a cola chicken wing.

 

“Hush, you!”

 

The meal passed in a flurry of noise. Because Bella was there, Shan Songyue didn’t scold too harshly, though she muttered a long string of complaints while washing the dishes, making Yin Yunzhu’s head throb.

 

When they came out, Bella was on the sofa watching TV with Xiao Yu. As Yin Yunzhu walked over, the orange cat caught the scent of lemon dish soap on her and immediately bolted toward the balcony.

 

“So?” Bella picked up the remote and hit pause.

 

“I don’t want to,” Yin Yunzhu said, sitting on the single sofa and hugging a pillow petulantly.

 

Her long lashes cast shadows, making her look even more aggrieved. She stared at her slippers, kicking the drawer under the coffee table back and forth.

 

Seeing her foul mood, Bella leaned against the armrest to get closer. “This isn’t a long-term solution. Why don’t you just find a couple of guys to fool your mom for now?”

 

She pushed the photos of the two men forward again. “At least take a look. They’re really quite decent.”

 

“No.” Post-meal drowsiness weighed on her eyelids. Yin Yunzhu curled up, unwilling to utter even an extra word.

 

She was already exhausted from dealing with social interactions, let alone dealing with men. Sometimes she felt the birth of species was a mystery; even though they were all human, the brain circuits of women and men were forever on different frequencies.

 

They were destined to never reach a high level of spiritual compatibility.

 

Seeing her lazy attitude and pretense of sleep, Bella simply crouched down and pleaded, “Just go take one look. Just one!”

 

She held up a single index finger, looking somewhat comical. Yin Yunzhu suddenly felt a pang of sadness.

 

“I know you mean well, seeing me so listless after breaking up with Jiang Menghe. But right now… I really don’t have the mental energy for this.”

 

Spending all day clashing with Jiang Menghe on set was draining enough; to come back and have to play nice with a blind date was a demand she simply couldn’t meet.

 

Even though she had always been a woman of few words, she used to be immersed in her own wild imagination. Now, her head was full of worries, and she would daze off whenever she saw someone whose back resembled Jiang Menghe’s.

 

“How about this: don’t think of it as a blind date. Just think of it as chatting with someone to get inspiration for your writing,” Bella said with a serious expression, almost holding up four fingers to swear to the heavens. “Just this one meeting, and I promise I’ll never nag you again. I’ll be on your side… to deal with Auntie Shan.”

 

She whispered those last few words, even glancing toward the room where Shan Songyue was napping.

 

This proposal was enough to tempt Yin Yunzhu. She didn’t want to hear her family’s lectures or be “marketed” to by her friend every time they went shopping.

 

Seeing her expression soften, Bella added fuel to the fire: “I’ll go with you!”

 

“Then… fine.” The scales in her heart finally tipped. After much agonizing, Yin Yunzhu chose the “pretty boy” who looked the most tolerable, even though in her eyes, there wasn’t much difference between the two.

 

Someone her own age—at least they’d have common topics, right?

 

Bella set the appointment for 2:00 PM the next day at a coffee shop near Xinjiekou. The shop was clean and quiet, with a minimalist black-and-white decor that gave off a heavy business vibe. The air was filled with a rich, slightly bitter aroma.

 

The sound of coffee beans grinding drowned out the low-volume melody playing in the background. Yin Yunzhu wore an oversized beige-gray hoodie that covered half her thighs, its drawstrings swinging as she walked.

 

“Should we arrive twenty minutes early? Is it too rushed?” she asked, her sleeve being tugged by Bella as they passed the transparent glass display cases lining the street.

 

Compared to Yin Yunzhu’s perfunctory attitude, Bella, acting as the matchmaker, was much more formal. She turned to Yin Yunzhu and said, “Do you think this is an interview? For a first meeting, you have to give men a bit of a ‘show of strength.’ Let them understand that getting a meeting isn’t easy.”

 

“Otherwise, they’ll walk all over you in the future.”

 

Yin Yunzhu didn’t understand any of this, so she just listened. Her sleeve had been pulled so long that her fingers were buried inside, invisible.

 

As they pushed the door open, the mechanical “Welcome” voice formed a sharp contrast with the shop’s sleek style. It was just after the lunch break, and since many people were away for the holiday, there were very few customers.

 

Bella locked onto the man instantly and waved at Ye Yan. “Have you been waiting long?”

 

She pulled out a chair, making the two sit face-to-face.

 

“Not really,” he replied with a smile. Although he was around their age, he looked more like a younger brother.

 

His trendy black-and-red jacket made a crisp rustling sound whenever he moved, seemingly made of the same material as a windbreaker. His hair was styled in a “tin foil perm” that had been popular a few years ago—exactly the type of group Yin Yunzhu feared most when walking down the street.

 

Besides, wasn’t he hot wearing so much?

 

“My childhood friend, Yin Yunzhu,” Bella introduced them one by one. “And this is Ye Yan.”

 

“Hello,” the boy said politely, handing over the menu. “Order whatever you’d like.”

 

Yin Yunzhu kept her hands neatly on her lap and looked awkwardly at Bella. When it came to things involving being treated to a meal, she always looked to others for cues.

 

“Why are you looking at me? Do I have the menu on my face?” Bella laughed. “If you can’t decide, just get an Iced Americano like me.”

 

The prices at private coffee shops were always outrageously high; even for ordinary, cheap beans, a cup cost over thirty yuan.

 

Next came the routine questioning. Bella kicked Yin Yunzhu under the table, signaling her to take the initiative and find a topic.

 

“What do you do for work?” The boy crossed his hands and looked at her intently, his eyes showing strong interest.

 

From the moment she walked in, his gaze had been glued to Yin Yunzhu. Although she wasn’t the type to be a strikingly glamorous “older sister,” she was by no means plain. She looked like a junior student just entering university—gentle, modest, and shy.

 

“I write,” Yin Yunzhu replied, like a student being questioned by a teacher, every cell in her body screaming with tension.

 

It was a standard answer—not particularly interesting—but a pleasant appearance always afforded more opportunities.

 

To liven up the atmosphere and show off his humor, Ye Yan dug deeper: “What’s your pen name? I’ll go give you some likes.”

 

To someone in the industry, this was a very offensive question. After all, the internet and reality were separate. If it weren’t for the requirement to join the Quancheng Writers’ Association, Yin Yunzhu would never have linked her real name to her pen name in her entire life.

 

“Sorry, it’s not convenient to say,” she said, her tone slightly annoyed. However, realizing he didn’t understand the industry etiquette, she softened her attitude slightly.

 

Unexpectedly, he didn’t grasp her meaning at all and even thought she was making a mountain out of a molehill. “What’s the big deal? Isn’t the point of publishing it for people to read?”

 

Having said that, he looked at Bella, seemingly seeking validation.

 

Bella’s expression was hard to describe. “She’ll tell you later when you’re better acquainted. Let’s talk about it then…”

 

Feeling the stagnant, stifling atmosphere at the table, Bella felt like she was sitting on pins and needles. She knew Yin Yunzhu’s tendency to take things seriously and care about details all too well; even failing to say “thank you” when buying something would be a point of deduction in her mind.

 

This was going to fail.

 

Fortunately, at that moment, the server at the counter called their number. Bella hurried to her feet, leaning on the table. “I’ll go get the coffee. You two take your time chatting.”

 

She then fled the scene like she was receiving a divine pardon.

 

“If it’s not convenient, then forget it,” the man said, intending to get Yin Yunzhu to open up. “Actually, I read novels when I’m bored. If there’s anything you don’t understand, you can ask me.”

 

Suddenly, Yin Yunzhu felt an intense gaze, as sharp and piercing as a needle, stabbing straight in their direction.

 

Following the feeling, she saw Bella coming over with the coffee.

 

Hearing Ye Yan’s words just now, Bella stumbled and nearly fell, spilling coffee across the wooden tabletop in dark stains.

 

Ye Yan immediately stood up and pulled out tissues to wipe the liquid from his clothes.

 

“Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” Bella said embarrassedly, crumpling up tissues to soak up the mess on the table.

 

“Did you get burned?” the boy hurriedly asked the person opposite him.

 

However, he saw Yin Yunzhu gripping the handle of her coffee cup, her eyes momentarily vacant, before she shook her head absentmindedly.