Self-Perception - Chapter 45

After finishing their noodles, the two went downstairs to walk off the meal. The high-end residential complex offered excellent privacy, most of the residents in this building were celebrities, and Wen Jinyan would occasionally spot famous faces while wandering the grounds.

In the dead of night, there was virtually no one around to notice them. They walked hand in hand, chatting idly about nothing in particular.

“Do you think the snow will come early to Jiangcheng this winter?” Wen Jinyan asked.

Gu Wansheng squeezed her hand, swinging it gently. “Maybe, maybe not. Do you like the snow?”

“I want to build a snowman,” Wen Jinyan replied.

“Then when it snows, I’ll help you build a giant one.”

Wen Jinyan turned her head to look at her. “How big?”

“As big as you want it to be.”

The winter wind was biting, so they didn’t linger outside for long. Once they returned home, Gu Wansheng told Wen Jinyan to go shower first. As Gu Wansheng rubbed her cold hands together, Wen Jinyan suggested, “Let’s shower together.”

Gu Wansheng’s movements faltered. She looked at Wen Jinyan with a hint of ambiguity in her eyes. “The two of us… together?”

“Yes.” Wen Jinyan hadn’t thought much of it, they were both chilled to the bone, and showering together would simply be a faster way to warm up.

“I’ll use the guest bathroom,” Gu Wansheng said, her gaze clearing.

Wen Jinyan’s brows knit slightly. “Why won’t you join me?”

Gu Wansheng walked slowly toward her, leaning down to whisper into her ear, “Because I want to save my energy for the bed.”

“Gu Wansheng!” Wen Jinyan’s neck flushed red. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Go on, get in the shower and warm up.” Gu Wansheng laughed mischievously, looking like a cat that had just finished a bowl of cream. Realizing she’d been teased, Wen Jinyan raised her voice: “Gu Wansheng!”

Gu Wansheng grabbed her pajamas and slipped away before she could say more.

Wen Jinyan finished her shower first. When Gu Wansheng entered the bedroom, Wen Jinyan was sitting on the bed, hands resting at her sides, looking up at her with an obedient expression.

Fresh from the bath, her eyes were misty and her skin was slightly flushed from the heat, making her look like a lost little deer. Gu Wansheng stepped behind her and pulled her into an embrace, catching the lingering scent of body wash.

Everything unfolded naturally. Gu Wansheng’s teeth lightly grazed the snowy skin of Wen Jinyan’s nape. Wen Jinyan’s eyes welled with moisture, she turned her head, and Gu Wansheng’s thumb caught her chin, forcing her to look up as Gu Wansheng leaned in to softly graze and tease her lips.

Wen Jinyan’s neck felt strained, and her fingers tightened on Gu Wansheng’s shoulders, wrinkling the fabric of her clothes. Gu Wansheng’s other hand moved to the back of Wen Jinyan’s neck, massaging it to soothe the tension. When Wen Jinyan tried to turn around, Gu Wansheng held her in place.

“Don’t turn around,” Gu Wansheng breathed against the shell of her ear. “I want to hold you like this.”

Wen Jinyan exhaled softly and took a shallow breath. She didn’t turn back, leaning her spine against the soft warmth behind her. “Why the sudden change today?”

“I wanted to try something new,” Gu Wansheng said, her hand slipping beneath the hem of the pajamas. “Yanyan, let’s try.”

They didn’t fall asleep until the middle of the night. Gu Wansheng woke up early the next day, prepared some porridge, and left a note for Wen Jinyan before taking a business car to the office.

By the time Wen Jinyan woke up and went downstairs, the house was empty. She knew Gu Wansheng had to be at the office and that there was a charity gala tonight. After reading the note carefully, she folded it away, served herself a bowl of porridge, and ate leisurely.

She had been following the progress of her radio drama. A staff member sent her the dry vocal recording for the female lead’s audition.

[Author sama, please take a listen and tell us what you think.]

She turned up the volume and listened while she ate. The voice actress was performing a high-intensity emotional scene, the range of feelings was so rich and full that Wen Jinyan found herself tensing up along with the audio. By the time it finished, her porridge had gone cold.

She finished her meal, washed the dishes, and replied to the staff: [It’s great.]

A reply came back instantly: [Then, Author sama, we will begin the official recording.]

[Mm-hmm,] Wen Jinyan replied. Her book was a “no CP” (no romance) story, so aside from the protagonist, the other characters weren’t overly significant.

Evening arrived, and Wen Jinyan pulled a formal gown from her wardrobe. It was a custom piece she’d ordered a long time ago and had only worn once, though she had it maintained regularly. It was white, with gold embroidery near the straps, elegant yet noble.

As she changed, she noticed several red marks on her neck. She retreated to the bathroom to cover them with foundation and picked out a necklace from her jewelry box to finish the look.

Wen Qiuyi sent her a message saying she was downstairs. After a quick reply, Wen Jinyan headed out. Wen Qiuyi’s assistant opened the car door for her.

“Auntie.”

A flash of surprise crossed Wen Qiuyi’s eyes. She smiled. “Mumu, you look beautiful today.”

Wen Jinyan’s hair was styled in soft waves over her shoulders, and she wore light makeup. She had left her glasses behind, leaving her amber eyes bright and sparkling in the night. She wore a down jacket over her gown to stay warm.

“Are you sitting with me tonight?” Wen Qiuyi asked, testing her reaction. To her surprise, Wen Jinyan shook her head.

“I’ll stay with you, Auntie.”

Wen Qiuyi ran through several possibilities in her mind before tentatively asking, “Are you worried about being photographed with her by the media?”

Wen Jinyan nodded, then shook her head. She didn’t explain further, simply saying, “I’ll just stay with you tonight.”

Wen Qiuyi respected her niece’s wishes, though her heart felt a mixture of bitterness and regret.

She realized that her “Mumu” had things weighing on her mind but was unwilling to share them; ultimately, a sense of distance had grown between them. At the same time, another voice in her head offered comfort, everyone has stories they prefer to keep hidden, including herself.

Perhaps sensing that her previous words had been a bit cold, Wen Jinyan took the initiative to strike up a conversation during the drive, asking about interesting stories from Wen Qiuyi’s global tour. This eased the bitterness in Wen Qiuyi’s heart.

As they neared the venue, their car followed the line of vehicles waiting to enter. Wen Jinyan’s gaze remained fixed on the car directly in front of them until it stopped at the red carpet. Entertainment reporters scrambled to snap photos, their flashes strobing as they pushed forward to get the clearest shot. Security guards formed a human shield around the perimeter. Then, a man stepped out of the car.

The moment Wen Jinyan saw him, her pupils contracted. Her hands, resting on her lap, instinctively gripped her skirt, and her breathing grew heavy.

Wen Qiuyi, beside her, didn’t notice her reaction at first. When she glanced over, Wen Jinyan had already turned her head to look at the crowd of reporters, her expression unreadable.

“Mumu, don’t be nervous,” Wen Qiuyi said, noticing Wen Jinyan’s white knuckled fists. Assuming it was first time jitters at such a grand event, she patted her hand gently. “Auntie is right here with you.”

Wen Jinyan hummed in response. She watched the man greet the reporters with a beaming smile before walking into the venue. She withdrew her gaze, feeling a surge of nausea at that smile. A deep discomfort settled in her chest, persisting until she stepped onto the red carpet with Wen Qiuyi and the open air seemed to pull her back to reality.

The photographers and reporters were clearly surprised by Wen Qiuyi’s appearance. The crowd grew even more rowdy, and the flashes became frantic.

“Teacher Wen! Teacher Wen!”

Wen Qiuyi put on her professional smile, walking the carpet with a poised, steady pace.

Wen Jinyan held onto her aunt’s arm. As she heard them call out “Teacher Wen,” the rapid fire clicking of shutters and the shouting of the press felt like they were dragging her back into a whirlpool. Her surroundings became surreal and distorted before snapping into a sharp, painful clarity.

“Luo Zhou, is it true you tried to use ‘unspoken rules’ on Bo Shan?”

“Can you explain that audio recording?”

“You knew Bo Shan had a boyfriend and still forced yourself on her, doesn’t your conscience hurt?!”

“Have there been similar incidents with other actors you’ve worked with before?”

She stood in the center of the flashing lights, wanting to speak, but her throat felt as if it were stuffed with cotton. The accusations, the curses, and those predatory eyes, eyes hungry for a trending topic, wrapped invisible chains around her. She couldn’t escape.

The lights were blinding, making her eyes ache. In the vast hall, the air felt thin, leaving her dizzy and disoriented. She stood at the center of public opinion, enduring the finger pointing and vitriol of the entire internet.

“Mumu! Mumu!”

Wen Jinyan snapped back to reality and looked at Wen Qiuyi.

Wen Qiuyi looked concerned. “Are you feeling unwell? Should we…”

“I’m fine, Auntie. I just spaced out for a second,” Wen Jinyan said, forcing a smile that looked peaceful enough.

Wen Qiuyi remained skeptical. “If you feel sick, you must tell me.”

Wen Jinyan nodded obediently. “I will.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the reporters whispering to one another. Her other hand tightened.

As the two walked inside, the reporters outside began to murmur: “Hey, who was that with Teacher Wen?”

“No idea. Doesn’t seem to be from the industry, but she’s beautiful.”

“Her eyes are very striking. Is she mixed-race?”

They followed the staff to their seats. The seating at such charity events was strictly hierarchical, the front rows were reserved for business tycoons or the highly prestigious, followed by A list celebrities.

Wen Qiuyi was seated in the fourth row, with Wen Jinyan to her right.

Aside from the items going to the highest bidders, the proceeds from this charity auction were destined for various impoverished mountain regions. Knowing that these events were mostly for networking, Wen Jinyan asked, “Auntie, is there anything you’re planning to bid on or sell?”

Wen Qiuyi shook her head. “I only have one item up for auction. Nothing I want to buy.”

The event began. The lights swirled across the room before settling on the stage. After the host finished the opening remarks, the first round of bidding commenced.

The first few items belonged to business moguls Wen Jinyan didn’t recognize. She heard many people raising their bids, giving the donors plenty of “face.”

She listened quietly until the next name was announced.

“The next item is a landscape painting brought to us by Mr. Xiao She.”