Self-Perception - Chapter 44

Wen Jinyan was wearing cotton pajama pants. The fabric was currently being hooked by a fingertip, sliding downward.

As the pad of a finger brushed against her tailbone, Wen Jinyan shivered. She let out a strained hum. Gu Wansheng’s hand lingered nearby but made no further move.

Wen Jinyan’s entire body felt weak. She wanted to find a point of support, but her hands were restrained. Her body trembled uncontrollably, whether from the cold or something else.

“Gu Wansheng…” Wen Jinyan called out.

“I haven’t washed my hands yet…” Gu Wansheng kissed her thin lips to soothe her.

Wen Jinyan’s lips were thin, soft, and hot, and the sounds she made were even more wonderful. Ultimately, Gu Wansheng unfastened the buttons for her, though the two shifted from standing to lying down.

The windows were closed, and the indoor lights were bright. Wen Jinyan squinted, everything before her felt surreal and phantom-like. She looked up at the arched blanket, her pupils suddenly dilating as the back of her head sank into the pillow, her neck arching in a beautiful curve.

Gu Wansheng emerged from under the covers. Under the light, the corners of her mouth were glistening, and her dark eyes sparkled with light.

Wen Jinyan panted softly, a knuckle held between her teeth, her eyes misty as she watched the head preparing to move back down.

She closed her eyes. Her vision was cut off, but her other senses were magnified.

Her skin was touched by a pair of warm hands that lingered lovingly, staying only on the surface without going deeper, until a scorching breath hit her skin. It felt like a cold shiver, making her vibrate.

Wen Jinyan bit her lip hard, her hands death gripping the pillow until the veins on the back of her hands were faintly visible. She tried to turn her body, but her hips were pinned down by a pair of hands, rendering her immobile. In her desperation, she could only swat at the blanket, trying to wake the person beneath it.

Gu Wansheng looked up a second time, cupping Wen Jinyan’s face and studying her expression closely.

Her face was like a peach blossom, her eyes shimmering like autumn ripples.

Gu Wansheng kissed away a tear that hadn’t yet fallen from the corner of her eye. Wen Jinyan could smell the scent of Silver Mountain Water tea on her, along with something else.

Before she could think further, her waist was lifted. By the time Wen Jinyan realized it, she was already sitting on Gu Wansheng’s lap.

Gu Wansheng meticulously kissed her shoulder, following the curve upward. Wen Jinyan cooperated by tilting her head, her hair lightly brushing against Gu Wansheng’s neck. Wen Jinyan had no strength left, she leaned weakly against Gu Wansheng like a ragdoll, letting the other woman move her as she pleased.

“Bite me,” Gu Wansheng said, her voice carrying a strange magic. She looked at the snowy white shoulder offered to her and obeyed, sinking her teeth in.

She didn’t use much force, but a faint red mark appeared.

Gu Wansheng sighed in what sounded like satisfaction. The corners of her eyes were flushed, as were her knuckles.

“However much strength I used on you, use the same on me,” Gu Wansheng kissed her jaw in encouragement.

Afterward, Wen Jinyan failed to keep her promise to Gu Wansheng. She slumped against her. “I have no strength left, Gu Wansheng.”

Gu Wansheng was still in the heat of the moment. Wen Jinyan pursed her lips: “Can you do it yourself, please?”

Gu Wansheng grabbed her ankle, pulling Wen Jinyan toward her with a bit of force. Wen Jinyan blinked, understanding, and widened her stance slightly.

Gu Wansheng straightened one leg while the other was pressed down by Wen Jinyan. She bit her lip, feeling the friction.

Leaning her body back, she called out Wen Jinyan’s name over and over. Wen Jinyan was forced to sway with her. She felt the bright yellow light above grow more dazzling, blurring from one light into two, and then into many more phantoms.

Before falling asleep, her last thought was that she hadn’t eaten dinner yet.

But Gu Wansheng was full. She looked at the person sleeping on the bed, feeling a mix of guilt and satisfaction.

Fortunately, she had turned off the stove in the kitchen. Gu Wansheng reheated the unfinished millet porridge. After finishing a portion for two, she cooked another serving for one.

She checked Weibo for a while, then took the cooked porridge out and put it in a thermal pot. She went upstairs and sat by the bed. Wen Jinyan was still fast asleep, her neck exposed to the air, covered in various shades of red marks. Her skin was fair, so even a light touch left a mark. Gu Wansheng knew this better than anyone.

Gu Wansheng leaned against the bedside, accompanying Wen Jinyan.

When Wen Jinyan opened her eyes, she found the room dim. She moved slightly and heard a voice nearby.

“You’re awake,” Gu Wansheng said in the darkness. “Getting up now?”

“Mm.” Her voice was hoarse. Wen Jinyan was starving. She moved her body, but was met with waves of soreness.

A pair of hands gently covered her eyes.

“Close your eyes.”

She obediently closed them, her eyelashes brushing against the palm. Then she heard a click.

She counted thirty seconds in her head until she felt the palm leave before opening her eyes.

“You must be hungry. Stay lying down, I’ll go get your porridge.”

Wen Jinyan watched Gu Wansheng leave the room. She used her hands to push herself up from the bed, the effort causing her upper body to ache.

Wen Jinyan hissed in pain, pulled a pillow behind her lower back for support, and tucked the blanket around herself.

Her phone rang. She reached for it with some difficulty and answered.

“Jinyan, you didn’t just wake up, did you? What’s with your voice? Why is it so hoarse?”

Wen Jinyan instinctively cleared her throat, replying slowly, “Just woke up.”

“Did you catch another cold? Your voice is unusually hoarse.” Su Muqing was concerned.

Wen Jinyan pinched the blanket. “Not a cold.”

“Not a cold, then you… Oh.” Su Muqing’s voice paused mid-sentence, trailing off the last word. “Teacher Gu is with you, isn’t she?”

“She went to get porridge.” Wen Jinyan licked her dry lips, she really wanted some water.

“You two have quite the stamina, going until now.” Su Muqing teased.

Wen Jinyan asked, “So, why did you call?”

Su Muqing clicked her tongue and got down to business. “Ji Yibai is about to be discharged. I want to find a time for us to get together. Ask your Teacher Gu if she wants to come, we’ll host it at our place.”

Wen Jinyan felt uncomfortable leaning back, so she slid further into the covers, lying on her side. Her voice was soft and weak. “Okay.”

Su Muqing clicked her tongue again. “Jinyan, you’re acting so ‘bottom’ right now. Wow, is Teacher Gu’s technique that good? You guys were at it so long… what were you playing?”

What were they playing? Playing with her, over and over.

Wen Jinyan: “The technique is okay. Playing with me.”

A burst of laughter came from the other end of the phone. “Jinyan, I can totally imagine the deadpan expression on your face while saying that.”

The light beside her suddenly dimmed. Wen Jinyan looked up to see Gu Wansheng placing the porridge on the nightstand before pulling the corner of the blanket up to cover her marked shoulders. Wen Jinyan looked away. “I’m hanging up, I need to eat my porridge.”

“Was something wrong?” Gu Wansheng watched Wen Jinyan sit up and put on a sweater, then reached into the walk-in closet for a down jacket to drape over her.

Wen Jinyan finished dressing and replied, “It was Su Muqing. She said Ji Yibai, her girlfriend was sick and is being discharged soon. She wants to invite us to dinner at their place and asked me to check with you.”

Wen Jinyan got out of bed and sat on the chaise longue to sip her porridge. Gu Wansheng thoughtfully placed a cushion behind her back.

“I’m fine with that,” Gu Wansheng agreed readily.

“I’ll give her a definite answer later then.”

After finishing the porridge, Wen Jinyan stood up to walk around the living room to help digestion. Fearing she might be bored, Gu Wansheng turned on the TV and kissed the corner of her mouth before heading to the study to read a script.

Wen Jinyan flipped through several channels with the remote but found nothing interesting. As she switched again, the screen showed the opening credits of a show. The words “Screenwriter: Xiao She” drifted across the top left. She snapped the TV off.

She closed her eyes for a few seconds, then put on her slippers and went upstairs. She grabbed her laptop from the bedroom and walked to the room at the very end of the hall.

The study.

Gu Wansheng was reading her script when the door was pushed open. Wen Jinyan placed her laptop opposite her and said, “I’m going to write my novel.”

By evening, Gu Wansheng put down her script and pen. She stood up, walked a few steps, and wrapped her arms around Wen Jinyan from behind. “What do you want to eat tonight?”

Wen Jinyan leaned her body back, tilting her head up to look into Gu Wansheng’s eyes. Her glasses had been removed. Gu Wansheng rubbed her brow.

“What should we eat?”

Wen Jinyan stared at her, thinking of what Su Muqing had said on the phone. Possessed by a momentary whim, she said, “You.”

Gu Wansheng froze. Wen Jinyan froze too. Then Wen Jinyan cleared her throat. “Noodles. I just had porridge, I don’t want rice.”

Gu Wansheng agreed and stood up. Wen Jinyan noticed her ears were red. On an impulse, she reached out. Gu Wansheng leaned back down. “What is it?”

Wen Jinyan took hold of that bright red earlobe and laughed. “Just touching.”

I want to see if your earlobe is as hot as my heart.

A flash of shyness crossed Gu Wansheng’s face. She took Wen Jinyan’s hand in hers and asked, “Is it soft?”

Wen Jinyan applied a bit of pressure, making the already red earlobe even more vibrant. Gu Wansheng let out a deliberate hum. Wen Jinyan’s hand paused, but Gu Wansheng guided her hand to keep kneading it, her voice seductive as she asked again: “Is it soft?”

She seemed to be asking about her earlobe, yet also about something else.

Earlier that afternoon, Gu Wansheng had also taken her hand, placed it on her body, and asked, “Is it soft?”

Wen Jinyan’s face burned all the way to her ears. She pulled her hand back. Gu Wansheng stood up, but as she reached the door, a very small but clear sentence drifted from behind her:

“Soft.”

Gu Wansheng looked back. The light in the study was brighter than the hallway. She stood at the threshold of light and shadow, her features sharp and clear. She offered a bold invitation: “Then… can we continue tonight?”

The words were both hidden and direct, a contradiction that felt perfectly natural coming from Gu Wansheng.

She left the invitation hanging, waiting for a response from the one she loved.

Wen Jinyan put on her glasses, her index finger tapping the marble tabletop. One, two, three. Before the fourth tap could land, she took that invitation and tucked it into her heart. After Gu Wansheng left, she poured it onto the screen, using words to vent her romantic and shy emotions.

She left a note on the book in front of her, waiting for the other woman to flip it open.

After they finished their noodles, Gu Wansheng did indeed return to the study. A folded piece of paper lay on her book. She opened it.

The handwriting was elegant and fluid, graceful yet firm.

“I hope we can share the spring scenery again tonight.”

In the bottom right corner, it was signed with a single character: “Wood.”

Gu Wansheng smiled, smoothed out the creases, found the perfect angle to take a photo, and then carefully tucked it away.