Secret Lover Who Stealthily Fell in Love with My Older Sister - Chapter 30

Chapter 30: The Unwanted Daughter

The year Shen Ya was in the eighth grade, her sister, Chen Xi, was starting to get mischievous. Chen Xi’s lively and cute appearance made her very endearing to the elders. Chen Xi loved to play with Shen Ya, but Shen Ya had no idea how to care for a child. She found Chen Xi noisy, constantly disturbing her rest, and generally very annoying.

Chen Xi was different from her. At least, Chen Xi had never been beaten. Even when she was scolded sometimes, Shen Qiuyu would be smiling and coaxing her. Chen Xi would sit in Shen Qiuyu’s arms, spoiled and daring to shout while sitting on her lap. The warm family life of Shen Qiuyu, her new husband, and Chen Xi played out daily, making Shen Ya feel increasingly redundant.

…

One night, Shen Ya came out of her room. She passed Shen Qiuyu’s bedroom and saw the door slightly ajar. She stopped outside the door, leaning her ear to listen to the movement inside. She heard Shen Qiuyu’s remarried partner say: “How about we let your daughter board at school? Xi-xi is getting older, and it’s not appropriate for her to keep sleeping with us.”

Shen Qiuyu didn’t object immediately. Instead, she worried: “How much would boarding cost? Where would we get that much money for her to stay there?”

“I asked. The cost isn’t high. We’ll get her a meal card that can last one semester. She’s so skinny, she won’t eat much. It’s cost-effective.”

Shen Ya leaned against the wall, covering her mouth to suppress any sound, yet a fierce emotion surged in her chest, threatening to burst out of her body. She had always known she would leave this home one day, but she hadn’t expected Shen Qiuyu to drive her out so soon.

She didn’t stay to hear the rest of the conversation. She wasn’t sure if she was afraid of what she might hear or if a tiny glimmer of hope remained. After all, no matter how much her mother disliked her, she was still Shen Qiuyu’s daughter.

The next morning, before Shen Ya was even awake, Shen Qiuyu barged into her room without knocking. Seeing Shen Ya sit up, rubbing her eyes, Shen Qiuyu told her in a tone that was certainly not a negotiation: “You’ll be boarding at school from now on. It’s more convenient this way.”

Convenient?

Convenient for whom? Convenient for your family of three to live your life?

Shen Ya’s sleepiness was completely chased away by that sentence. She forced a self-deprecating smile. “So eager to kick me out?”

This sentence seemed to hit a nerve that Shen Qiuyu hadn’t managed to conceal. Her intentions exposed, she angrily slapped the foot of the bed repeatedly. The iron-framed bed shook, seeming ready to fall apart: “Why do you talk so harshly? I’m spending extra money to send you to board so you can have more time to study! You truly are an ungrateful wretch who can’t be tamed. If I threw you in the water, I’d at least hear a splash, but with you, it’s all my fault!”

Shen Ya gazed calmly at Shen Qiuyu. Her look was like a mirror, capable of seeing through all lies. Shen Qiuyu was still the same, thinking Shen Ya was too young to understand adult motives. She clearly wanted to drive her out, but still turned around and scolded her for being unappreciative just to save face.

Fine. She was going to leave eventually. Rather than staying here and making them both uncomfortable, it was better to leave and be out of sight, out of mind.

After the school term started, Shen Ya dragged her suitcase to the school dormitory. Fearing she would talk nonsense outside and cause embarrassment, Shen Qiuyu still put a good amount of money on her meal card, instructing her in front of outsiders to eat well and not save money for the family.

Shen Ya said nothing. She calmly and blandly accepted her fate.

…

After one term of boarding, she returned home to find her room had been renovated. The iron-framed bed that had accompanied her throughout her childhood was gone. The room was freshly painted white, looking much cleaner and brighter. The room also had a brand-new wardrobe and a large bed big enough for two adults.

Shen Qiuyu stopped her at the doorway, her eyes evasive, speaking quickly and hurriedly: “Your sister is growing up. Since you’re not home every day anyway, just manage in the living room when you come back for the winter and summer holidays.”

There was no air conditioning in the room, yet why did her hands and feet feel cold, a chill spreading over her body? It turned out that in Shen Qiuyu’s eyes, she had become a dog only fit to guard the door.

After starting boarding, Shen Ya never deprived herself. She ate well at school, so her height grew significantly. The small sofa in the living room was no longer long enough for her to fully stretch out. The summer holidays became the time Shen Ya most wanted to escape.

She didn’t dare sleep too early or wake up too late. Even in her own home, she still had to keep herself wrapped up. The lack of private space was agonizing, but there was nothing her weak self could do but endure it.

One morning during the summer holidays, when she was woken up by the sound of a child laughing, she saw that the books she had forgotten to put away the night before were ripped to shreds by her sister. Her anger instantly flared. She grabbed her sister and questioned her with a cold face: “Why did you tear up my book?!”

Chen Xi was scared by her appearance and began to wail. Spoiled, she started kicking and punching. Furious, Shen Ya pinned her down on her leg and slapped her butt twice.

Shen Qiuyu heard the commotion and ran out of the room. She snatched Chen Xi from Shen Ya’s lap and, without a word, slapped Shen Ya across the face. Her eyes wide with rage, she pointed at Shen Ya and cursed: “Are you an animal? Your sister is so small, and you hit her!”

So her mother knew children shouldn’t be hit? Then what did all those slaps she received count for?

The burning pain on her face was far less severe than the stabbing pain in her heart. Shen Ya calmly collected the torn books. She took her backpack, put the damaged books inside, and ignored the lingering curses in the air. She walked into the bathroom.

She brushed her teeth and washed her face calmly, as if nothing had happened. Even if a water droplet rolled down her cheek, she merely raised her hand to wipe it away. Emerging from the bathroom, she heard Shen Qiuyu’s new husband whispering in her ear: “Do you think she has some kind of inheritance? Your previous partner liked to hit people, maybe she does too. Why don’t you spend some money and send her to a boarding place far away, so she doesn’t end up killing our child one day?”

Shen Ya clenched the doorknob, and the water droplets on her face fell to the ground. This sentence became the final straw that crushed her, making it hard to breathe. She didn’t dare go forward and only emerged when the voices in the living room quieted down.

The two turned to look at her at the same time. Shen Qiuyu glared at her, seeming to have made up her mind. Even the child in her arms stared at Shen Ya with fear and disgust.

Shen Ya was sent away once more. The boarding place was a distance from home. Perhaps Shen Qiuyu didn’t want to see her, or perhaps she was afraid Shen Ya would run back home. She wasn’t the only child there. She remained indifferent to everything around her, so no one her age wanted to play with her.

She spent every day quietly in her room, reading and studying. Even if someone deliberately spoke sarcastically to her, she showed no emotion.

…

One night, she learned a strange piece of information from a girl who returned late. After that, her world seemed to open another door. She stepped through it and discovered a world she had never seen before.

It turned out that in this world, some people willingly offered themselves up to be hit by others. She didn’t understand it, and she found it hard to accept. How were these people different from Shen Qiuyu in the past?

But the more curious she became, the deeper her obsession grew. Finally, one day, she also took herself alone to a strange woman.

She would never forget how much her backside hurt that day. Yet, the woman would gently rub the injured area afterward, patiently and softly speaking words that calmed her body and mind. This gentle talk and comfort was the first Shen Ya had ever experienced in her life.

It sounded ridiculous, but she suddenly found that this feeling wasn’t difficult to accept.

But she only dared to be so bold once. Her grades were excellent, and she was admitted to a key high school and placed in a very good class. Finally, she was no longer surrounded by students who were just drifting through life.

She still boarded at high school. The dormitory conditions were much better. The school had a strong academic atmosphere, and there was no more time for her to be distracted.

Shen Ya used her holidays to work part-time. This not only allowed her to balance work and rest but also to earn some money.

Time flew by. She no longer cared about her family. High school life was rich and fulfilling. On the day her college entrance exam results came out, Shen Ya felt a sense of relief. Her score was better than she expected. Her teachers encouraged her to apply to a top university, but Shen Ya hesitated.

Her grades were indeed good enough for one of the best universities in the country, but a slightly lower-tier school offered her very attractive terms. Twelve years of compulsory education meant Shen Qiuyu had to let her study, but university was different. She wasn’t sure if Shen Qiuyu would still pay for her first semester’s tuition.

Shen Ya dared not gamble, having been disappointed too many times. So, she accepted the offer from the school that extended an olive branch.

It wasn’t until she received the acceptance letter that Shen Qiuyu knew she had been admitted to college. Jiang Lan Normal University. This was the best school within the knowledge of the neighbors. Becoming a teacher was stable and respectable. For the first time since Shen Ya grew up, she saw Shen Qiuyu smile at her, constantly praising her intelligence and good grades in front of others.

After many years, she once again became Shen Qiuyu’s capital for bragging.

Under Shen Qiuyu’s publicity, she became a “celebrity” in the neighborhood. She was the only university student from these old buildings. Everyone who saw Shen Qiuyu would praise her for raising such a clever child. But every time Shen Ya heard such words, she felt nauseous, wanting to vomit. Her admission to college had nothing to do with Shen Qiuyu’s family.

However, she did get some benefits from Shen Qiuyu’s promotion. Some neighbors wanted her help tutoring their children. Although the pay wasn’t much, Shen Ya still accepted. She wanted to save some money to buy necessities before university started.

As an adult, she became more independent. Not only had her facial features matured, but her facial lines were also more defined. Everyone said she was cold and distant, and fewer and fewer people approached her.

Later, she found the door to that circle again and located a private club called ‘Blank’ in Jiang Lan City. The people in this club were all part of the community. The first time she went, she was stopped at the entrance; she didn’t have a membership and was refused entry.

It was then that she happened to meet Fang Moyao, who wasn’t yet the owner of ‘Blank.’ The woman, four years her senior, not only vouched for her but also brought her into the small circle centered around Fang Moyao.

It was at that time that she met Jiang Yunxi.

Their beginning stemmed from a game. Later, Jiang Yunxi actively sought her out. After spending some time together, they formed a mutually beneficial relationship. There would be no romantic relationship. All Jiang Yunxi wanted was pathological control and release, and afterward, Shen Ya would receive the tenderness Jiang Yunxi offered.

Before she even graduated from university, Shen Ya received a job offer from a company. She happily accepted. The company environment was good, and her colleagues were kind. As a newcomer, her salary wasn’t high, but it was enough for her to live alone.

At the time, she could only afford to squeeze into a shared rental house, spending a considerable amount of time commuting every day. But this life was fulfilling and hopeful for her. Just as her life was steadily improving, Shen Qiuyu found her.

Shen Ya had blocked Shen Qiuyu and her family after university. She no longer needed to rely on them for survival. But she never imagined that Shen Qiuyu would actually report her missing to the police. When the police came to her workplace to look for her, she became a completely ungrateful wretch who abandoned her mother in the eyes of outsiders.

The words of accusation felt as heavy as mountains, crushing her breath. Shen Qiuyu not only found out where she lived but also ruined her first job. Her goal was to let Shen Ya know that even as an adult, she couldn’t escape the shackles of family.

Shen Qiuyu demanded that she show gratitude and transfer living expenses to her card every month. Fearing Shen Ya wouldn’t obey or would leave the city, Shen Qiuyu subtly and openly threatened her: if she didn’t comply, she would expose Shen Ya’s unfilial behavior, including hitting an elder, making it known to everyone so she would never find a job and would suffer for the rest of her life.

Shen Ya had thought that once she grew up and had a job, she could completely break free from her toxic family. She thought she could finally stand in the sunlight like a normal person. But reality dealt her a heavy blow.

The day after her address was discovered, she quickly found a small apartment. She fled the shared rental house and locked herself in another quiet space. Even though she knew moving was futile and Shen Qiuyu would find out sooner or later, it gave her a small sense of security.

She found a new job and transferred money to Shen Qiuyu punctually every month. While she was on guard for Shen Qiuyu’s next round of harassment, her mother never appeared again.

This quiet life did not make Shen Ya feel safe. She was constantly anxious, not knowing when Shen Qiuyu would lash out at her next.