Save That Miserable Protagonist - Chapter 26

Since he had decided to draw a clear boundary with Pei Tingsong, Lu Xun could no longer loiter around the school. If he did, he would inevitably be unable to stop himself from stealing glances at Pei Tingsong.

The moment he showed any concern, Pei Tingsong would immediately push further, asking why Lu Xun cared and if it was because he liked him. Pei Tingsong was too simple and direct. Facing that straightforward affection, Lu Xun’s defenses crumbled, leading him to choose the most cowardly method: escape.

He drove back to the Lu family villa. For several days, Lu Xun locked himself in his room, as if trying to shut his chaotic emotions away in a drawer. His instinct was to seek out Pei Tingsong, even if just to watch him secretly from afar to see if he was doing well or if anyone was bullying him in Lu Xun’s absence.

However, reason told Lu Xun that since he could not respond to Pei Tingsong’s confession, he could no longer engage in this ambiguous, overstepping care. Otherwise, how would he be different from those scumbags who led people on? Caught in a tug-of-war between emotion and logic, Lu Xun’s decline was obvious.

Luan Xiujing saw her son’s abnormality clearly. A mother’s mind is always delicate; with a bit of inquiry, she understood most of the situation. One day during dinner, as she watched Lu Xun absentmindedly poke at his food, she dismissed the servants with a wave of her hand.

She did not rush to speak. Instead, she ate unhurriedly. When she was finished, Luan Xiujing set down her chopsticks, lightly dabbed her mouth with a napkin, and looked at her son. Her voice was gentle as she spoke. “I heard you have been getting quite close to a student named Pei recently. When do you plan to bring him back for a visit?”

Hearing this, Lu Xun’s heart skipped a beat. Like a hedgehog, he instantly bristled with defensiveness. He retorted in a cold, stiff tone, “What Pei student? Mom, who told you that? What a mess. How come I don’t know about this?”

Luan Xiujing was not angry at his reaction. She simply smiled, adjusted her posture to sit more comfortably, and watched her son. “Is that so? I heard from your second uncle that the boy is exceptionally handsome and hardworking. He even got into Jiang Da entirely on his own merit.”

Upon hearing this, Lu Xun’s eyes filled with pride. Before Luan Xiujing could continue, he blurted out, “Exactly! Mom, let me tell you, Pei Tingsong is great in every way. Not only is he good-looking, but he is also incredibly smart. He learns everything instantly. Though, he is a bit too stubborn and insists on doing everything himself. Sometimes when I want to help him, he just…”

Lu Xun stopped abruptly. He realized Luan Xiujing was looking at him with an “as I thought” expression, her lips curled into a meaningful smile. Lu Xun realized he had fallen for her trap. He closed his mouth in annoyance, his ears burning uncontrollably.

“Mom…”

Luan Xiujing found her son’s realization and subsequent frustration adorable. She gave an encouraging smile. “Alright. Since you like him, why don’t you go find him instead of hiding at home? Your father is starting to lose his temper because you haven’t attended classes for days.”

Her expression turned serious as she remembered something. “Could it be that my son is like the others, harboring prejudices about social status? Do you also think that boy isn’t good enough for you?”

Lu Xun nearly jumped out of his seat. He flared up, his voice growing frantic. “How could that be? Did someone spread rumors about him to you? Who said he isn’t good enough for me?”

As he spoke, his breathing became hurried. He thought about how those people acted so well in front of him, treating Pei Tingsong like a “sister-in-law,” only to gossip behind his back to his mother. “Was it Yu Che and that group? Mom, don’t believe them! I know how good Pei Tingsong is. I’m going to find them right now!”

Lu Xun stood up, looking ready to settle the score. Luan Xiujing reached out to stop him. “You child, don’t be so hasty. No one said anything. Besides, even if they did, don’t I know you? It isn’t just anyone who can get my son to step into a kitchen.”

Her tone carried a hint of teasing. Lu Xun’s anger vanished instantly. He sat back down sheepishly and began to poke his cold steak with a fork. Luan Xiujing sighed softly. She was beginning to find Lu Xun difficult to read. After a long silence, she spoke with a gentle, probing tone. “If you care about him so much that you react more strongly than anyone else when you hear something bad about him, then why are you hiding here and avoiding him?”

This question struck Lu Xun’s most secret worry. He bit his lower lip until a red mark appeared. He remained silent, and for a while, the only sound in the living room was the soft ticking of the wall clock. Just as Luan Xiujing thought he would not answer, Lu Xun’s small, muffled voice rang out. “I feel… I am not good enough for him.”

Luan Xiujing arched an eyebrow, seemingly surprised by this answer. She did not interrupt, simply watching him with maternal affection. Feeling his mother’s gentleness, Lu Xun finally released the frustration and conflict he had suppressed for so long. “You know me best.” He gave a bitter smile. “I only have a three-minute passion for anything. When I like him, I truly like him and want to give him everything. But what if… what if I get tired of him quickly?”

“He already has nothing left. I cannot hurt him again. He is so good and takes everything so seriously.” Lu Xun could not continue. He stared at Luan Xiujing with his bright green eyes, pouting as if he were a child about to cry over a lost toy. Only in front of his mother could Lu Xun truly shed his skin as a dignified young master. When faced with a real problem, his first instinct was still to return home.

Luan Xiujing listened quietly. She did not answer immediately, but looked at him with a gaze that was both warm and wise. “Baby,” she said softly, her voice clear in the quiet room, “you have fallen into a mental trap.”

“Hmm?”

Luan Xiujing laughed softly at his confused look. “Did your past infatuations make you afraid of losing something before you even had it? Did they ever make you push someone away because you were worried you might hurt them in the future, even when your heart was already racing?”

“I remember when you were a child and loved a certain sports car. You begged everyone in the family to buy it for you, and the day after you got it, you drove it into Yuewan Lake. That was a twenty-million-dollar Ferrari, yet you didn’t cherish it at all.”

Lu Xun blinked blankly. “But… that was just a car. Pei Tingsong is a living person.”

“But in your heart, was there any difference between the ‘pretty children’ you liked in the past and that sports car?”

Lu Xun was speechless. He stared straight at his mother. Luan Xiujing pointed gently to her heart. “See, baby? You know better than anyone that this time is different. You are anxious because you care too much. You are afraid you aren’t good enough. Doesn’t that prove this isn’t just a whim, but that you truly have him in your heart? At the very least, the old Lu Xun would never have felt he wasn’t good enough for someone. You used to think no one was worthy of you.”

She smiled again. “I truly want to meet this boy and see what kind of person can make my son doubt himself.”

Lu Xun sat there in a daze. He realized he had never had such concerns before. If he liked something, he got it; if he grew bored, he discarded it. It was clean and simple. But with Pei Tingsong, he was hesitating and fearful, wanting to be close yet afraid of causing harm. All his withdrawal was rooted in how much he cared.

If he cared this much, how could he ever truly hurt him? If he refused to start simply because he feared a possible end, would that not be a more cruel betrayal to both Pei Tingsong and himself?

Seeing the struggle in Lu Xun’s eyes, Luan Xiujing stood up elegantly and patted his shoulder. “Don’t let yourself have regrets, baby. Sometimes, being brave requires more courage than escaping. Think about it. If you don’t date him, someone else will. Why shouldn’t that person be you?”

Luan Xiujing walked away, leaving Lu Xun alone with her words. Why shouldn’t it be me? At least Lu Xun was handsome, had a heritage from three countries, and was wealthy. No one in Jiangcheng was richer. He could give Pei Tingsong both love and security.

Lu Xun could not promise “forever” yet, but he could guarantee that as long as Pei Tingsong did not ask to break up, Lu Xun would never let go of his hand. The gloom and irritability that had plagued him for days finally vanished. He felt light, as if he were floating. He smiled more brilliantly than a summer flower. He had to go find Pei Tingsong right now and clear up all the confusion and self-doubt. He was going to fall in love.

Once his mind was made up, Lu Xun could not wait another moment. Without even saying goodbye to his mother, he grabbed his keys and rushed out. He drove at high speed to the medical school building, but when he arrived, he hesitated to get out of the car. The courage he had gathered in front of his mother felt like a punctured balloon.

Looking at the bustling crowd, his mind was a mess. He began to frantically rehearse an opening line, but nothing felt right. He knew he had been avoiding Pei Tingsong for days; what would it mean to suddenly show up? Would Pei Tingsong think he was playing games? Or worse, what if Pei Tingsong had already given up on him?

As he hesitated, his system, 888, flew out. Seeing Lu Xun’s conflicted face, 888 asked, “Host, why aren’t you getting out of the car?”

Lu Xun sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “System, you don’t understand.”

“Understand what?”

He didn’t understand the complex emotions and the pride of a young master. Lu Xun felt “homesick” in the presence of his goal. When he wasn’t looking at Pei Tingsong, he felt confident, but the moment he arrived, that confidence wavered because he was the one at fault. He was the one who had rejected Pei Tingsong and avoided him so harshly.

“God, why did I say those things?” Lu Xun thought, wanting to go back in time and strangle his past self. How was he supposed to take back the words, “We can’t be together”?

Just as he was about to turn back, his peripheral vision caught sight of someone at the teaching building. He froze. His beautiful green eyes locked onto Pei Tingsong in the crowd.

Pei Tingsong had just finished a lab class. He wore a slightly yellowed white lab coat and held a transparent folder. He looked exhausted, but he wasn’t alone. A girl with shoulder-length curly hair was walking beside him, also in a lab coat. She was smiling and talking to him. While Pei Tingsong didn’t show much expression, he wasn’t impatient either.

The sun shone on them, creating a picture of youthful beauty. Then, Lu Xun saw Pei Tingsong nod slightly and give the girl a polite smile. What a blinding sun, Lu Xun thought, fuming.

A mixture of jealousy, panic, and betrayal swept through him, incinerating his hesitation. Fear and social status were forgotten. Only one thought remained: How can Pei Tingsong smile at someone else?

Just a few days ago, Pei Tingsong had asked if Lu Xun liked him. How could he smile at someone else today? Lu Xun slammed the car door open, marched over, and grabbed Pei Tingsong, pulling him close.

In that moment, he recognized the girl. He had seen her on his second day knowing Pei Tingsong, standing in the lecture hall. He remembered her from the farce that had started because of her. Lu Xun’s hostility flared. “What a coincidence. What are you chatting about?”

“Master Lu?” The girl was startled by his dark expression and looked at Pei Tingsong helplessly.

Pei Tingsong was also confused by the sudden aggression. He tried to pull his wrist away, but Lu Xun only held on tighter. Frowning, Pei Tingsong nodded to the girl. “It’s fine. You go ahead. We’ll discuss the project next time.”

The girl hurried away. Once she was gone, Pei Tingsong turned back to Lu Xun. “Lu Xun, you’re hurting me.”

Instead of letting go, Lu Xun went on the offensive. “Pei Tingsong, how can you be like this?”

“Like what?”

Lu Xun loosened his grip slightly but didn’t let go. “Didn’t you say you liked me? Why are you talking and laughing with someone else the moment you turn around?”

Pei Tingsong found the question absurd yet amusing. “In what capacity are you questioning me? Besides, she’s my classmate. It’s normal to discuss a project.”

“Normal?” Lu Xun’s voice rose. “Don’t think I don’t know she likes you! And I saw you smile at her! You’re not allowed to smile at anyone else!”

The blatant possessiveness made Pei Tingsong angry. He stepped closer, staring into Lu Xun’s eyes. “On what grounds? Lu Xun,” his voice was low and cold, “what do you take me for? Someone to tease when you’re interested and discard when you’re not? You avoided me for days, and now you come here to throw a tantrum because I spoke to someone else? Am I just a pastime for when you’re bored?”

“I… I…” Lu Xun was speechless. Looking into Pei Tingsong’s clear, obsidian eyes, all his carefully prepared excuses vanished. He took a deep breath and finally spoke the truth.

“I’m sorry.” Lu Xun lowered his head, his voice sincere. “I didn’t treat you as a pastime. I’m not doing this on a whim. I was just… I was afraid. I was afraid I would break your heart one day. I didn’t want that.”

He slowly let go of Pei Tingsong’s hand and gave a self-deprecating smile. “Because getting things has always been too easy for me, I have never loved anything seriously. Aside from racing, my interest never lasts more than three months. I was afraid I would be like that with you. If I were to fall for someone else quickly, you would be sad, and I don’t want you to be sad.”

Lu Xun looked vulnerable for the first time. “I’ve told you everything. If you share these worries, we can act like this conversation never happened. We can just be friends, and I will be good to you for the rest of my life as a friend.”

Pei Tingsong almost laughed in frustration. “If you truly thought that, why were you angry just now? Why wouldn’t you let me smile at others?”

“I…” Lu Xun looked up. “I just wanted to give the initiative to you.”

The initiative. Lu Xun was usually a controlling person who wanted to decide the beginning and end of everything. But with Pei Tingsong, everything changed. Love had made him lose his sense of control. He used to think people who changed for love were pathetic, driven by hormones. But now, he realized that he couldn’t help but put Pei Tingsong first.

His feelings were no longer under his control. It wasn’t that he “chose” to love Pei Tingsong, but that he “couldn’t not” love him.

Pei Tingsong watched Lu Xun’s trembling eyelashes. Finally, he spoke with a hint of a smile. “When you were with those other people… did you ever worry about them being sad because of a breakup?”

“I’ve never been in a relationship before,” Lu Xun answered instantly.

This meant that if Pei Tingsong agreed, he would be Lu Xun’s first true boyfriend. Lu Xun was confident in this; his first kiss and first night had both been with Pei Tingsong. He liked “beauty with a backbone.” Previously, his mother’s strict rules and the lack of challenge from others had kept him from ever being serious. Pei Tingsong was the first person who refused to bow to his power.

Pei Tingsong smiled, his eyes lighting up like a rainbow. “So, I am different, right?”

“Yes… of course,” Lu Xun stammered, falling in love all over again. He had never indulged someone like this. He couldn’t imagine giving this kind of love to anyone else. He reached out and firmly pulled Pei Tingsong into a hug.

Burying his head in Pei Tingsong’s shoulder, smelling the faint scent of formalin, Lu Xun murmured, “I’m sorry for being stubborn and making you sad.”

Pei Tingsong stroked Lu Xun’s hair. “So, are you saying yes to me?”

Lu Xun felt as if he were holding the whole world. “Of course. Do you like flowers? I’ll make it up to you with roses. If I ever act like a jerk and try to break up, you can break my legs.”

Pei Tingsong nodded. “Fair enough.”

Just as they were about to kiss, 888 reappeared. “Host, he’s serious. In the original plot, he was a ruthless person who would drag you off a building with him.”

Lu Xun’s smile froze. He looked at the “obedient” Pei Tingsong in his arms, who looked nothing like the ruthless person the system described.

“Weren’t you going to kiss me?” Pei Tingsong asked.

Lu Xun took a breath. “I was afraid you wouldn’t want to.”

“I wouldn’t. I like it when you kiss me.”

Lu Xun turned red at the bluntness. He leaned in and kissed the small mole, then Pei Tingsong’s lips. It was a pure, warm kiss, like the early autumn sun. The sunlight filtered through the leaves, casting golden ripples around them, quiet and warm.