Save That Miserable Protagonist - Chapter 25

Lu Xun had been very frustrated lately.

To be precise, ever since that night at Yu Che’s bar when he rejected Pei Tingsong, Lu Xun had fallen into this state of irritability. He had originally thought that after shutting down Pei Tingsong’s words, the other boy would understand his meaning, and the two of them could return to their previous relationship.

But whether Pei Tingsong had lost his mind or simply did not believe a word Lu Xun said, the result remained the same: he began to pursue Lu Xun directly and blatantly.

Yes, pursuit.

Using those words in relation to Pei Tingsong felt absurd to Lu Xun, especially since he was the object of that pursuit. It was beyond ridiculous. Many people pursued Lu Xun, mostly because of his family background or his appearance. Pei Tingsong was neither of those; he was pursuing Lu Xun with utter sincerity. Consequently, Lu Xun found it impossible to dismiss him as a joke.

Furthermore, this was Pei Tingsong. Lu Xun simply could not bring himself to say a single harsh word to him. Since nothing he did felt right, Lu Xun resorted to avoiding Pei Tingsong every day. However, fearing that the other boy would feel hurt or disappointed, Lu Xun did not even dare to make his avoidance too obvious.

The most he did was reply to messages a bit slower, though he always replied eventually. Lu Xun began taking detours to avoid the cafeterias and classrooms Pei Tingsong frequented, yet as soon as Pei Tingsong sent a message, Lu Xun would still go to meet him, despite the inner turmoil. Although he stopped taking the initiative to find Pei Tingsong, Lu Xun pestered the System every day, asking where Pei Tingsong had gone and ensuring no accidents had occurred. He practically wished the System could act as twenty four hour surveillance for Pei Tingsong.

During these days, for reasons Lu Xun could not fathom, Pei Tingsong began delivering lunch to him every single day without fail. Pei Tingsong’s tone was still not particularly warm; it even carried a bit of his inherent coldness. However, his eyes, like black obsidian, would stare straight at Lu Xun with an expression that forbade any refusal.

Facing those eyes, Lu Xun could not bring himself to say anything cutting, even if he wanted to. He could only finish the lunch box obediently under Pei Tingsong’s calm gaze. To be honest, one could tell at a glance that the lunch was handmade by Pei Tingsong. The dishes certainly did not look appetizing. As for the taste, calling it average would be generous. It was truly not good, and sometimes it was even a bit too salty.

The first time Pei Tingsong handed him the lunch box, Lu Xun nearly gagged. Without exaggeration, he had never eaten anything so unpalatable. By the time he finished, Lu Xun even felt that he could have cooked better himself. The stir fried eggs with tomatoes had burnt edges and were quite dry. The green peppers in the shredded pork dish were uncomfortably dark, and the meat was sliced into uneven, mismatched pieces. Despite all this, Lu Xun lowered his head and finished every bite without a word of complaint.

While eating, Lu Xun could feel Pei Tingsong’s gaze resting on him quietly. The boy said nothing, much like his overall personality: silent and persistent. That gaze felt as if it had a temperature, making the tips of Lu Xun’s ears burn and his heart fall into a complete mess.

But that was not the end of it. Once Lu Xun finished the meal, Pei Tingsong would pack up the lunch box, look up, and stare directly at Lu Xun. In a very direct and calm voice, he would ask, “Lu Xun, do you like me a little more today?”

Or sometimes, “Lu Xun, can you be with me today?”

Every single time Lu Xun heard those words, his heart felt like it was on a roller coaster, surging to the peak in an instant only to be dropped the next. Before joy could even register, a deeper sense of panic would arrive. Thus, every time, Lu Xun could only hurriedly look away, trying his best to maintain a steady voice as he uttered a rejection he barely understood himself.

“No.”

“I cannot.”

“Stop asking.”

After every rejection, Pei Tingsong would simply nod and calmly state that he would ask again next time. Then, he would turn and leave in silence. Watching Pei Tingsong’s thin back, Lu Xun felt as if his heart had been pricked again. It was not a heavy, crushing pain, but rather like being pierced by a thousand needles, a fine, dense, and lingering ache.

How could one describe Lu Xun’s agony? On one hand, he craved Pei Tingsong’s clumsy affection; on the other, he felt loathing for his own greed.

It was like seeing a beautiful flower. Lu Xun only needed to take one step forward to pluck it. But what would happen after that? Lu Xun would have to care for it carefully, cultivate it with heart, provide the most beautiful and warm garden, and keep it in a greenhouse so that it could bloom on land just as it had on the branch.

But how long would Lu Xun’s patience last? With one slip of the hand, the flower would wither. If that were the case, it was better not to pluck it at all. It should be allowed to bloom freely on the tree. Even if it were rained upon or faced violent storms, it was a strong flower. It would endure everything and stand tall even in the snow.

It did not need Lu Xun’s delicate care. It was not a greenhouse flower; it was a Pavilion Pine standing tall in the storm, a proud plum blossom blooming in the blizzard. Pei Tingsong was so foolish that he only knew the most primitive methods of pursuit. He could not even say a single sweet word, only asking bluntly, “Do you like me a little more today?”

Who would like such a fool? Lu Xun would.

Lu Xun could not even bring himself to say “I do not like you” when rejecting him. He liked the boy too much, so much that he was unwilling to do anything that might hurt Pei Tingsong, even in the slightest.

The System could not understand complex human emotions. After Lu Xun rejected Pei Tingsong yet again, 888 finally could not help but fly out. Looking at the expression in Lu Xun’s eyes as he watched Pei Tingsong’s retreating figure, the System was filled with confusion.

[Host, I do not understand. Did you not want to date the mission target before? Why are you rejecting him now that the opportunity is right in front of you?]

It truly did not understand. From the System’s perspective, the two clearly liked each other. Lu Xun’s behavior had changed drastically compared to before. If they liked each other, why not be together?

Hearing the System’s question, Lu Xun did not answer. He simply stared fixedly at Pei Tingsong’s fading figure, his eyes full of tenderness. Just as the System thought Lu Xun would ignore the question, Lu Xun suddenly lowered his head and gave a soft chuckle. The laughter was low and carried a hint of self mockery.

“Pei Tingsong does not know what kind of person I am, but do you not know?” His voice was as low as a sigh, imbued with a meaning the System could not identify. “Yes, I like him now; I could even say I like him immensely. But I have liked many things before: limited edition sports cars, new game consoles, various extreme sports. Did I not love them to death at the beginning? And what was the result? Which of those likes lasted more than three months? Once the novelty passed, did I not just throw them aside?”

At this point, Lu Xun paused, his Adam’s apple bobbing. He let out a soft sigh. “Who knows how long my feelings for him will last? One month? Two months? Or will it last until the moment he truly cannot live without me, only for me to leave?”

“Let us leave it at this. Being friends is better.” As Lu Xun said this, he seemed to find a reason that could finally convince himself, and his tone grew firmer. “As long as I do not date him, as long as we do not get involved in romance and love, I can treat him well for a lifetime in the name of a friend.”

So many people fall in love, but how many have a happy ending? Lu Xun had seen many who were willing to die for each other at the start, only to end up wishing for each other’s death. No matter how tender or unbreakable the bond seemed at the beginning, once the passion faded under the grind of daily life, only a mess remained.

Can the small flaws that are tolerable at the start of a relationship still be endured after three months? In biology, they say love is actually a hormonal reaction.

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Dopamine provides a sense of excitement; it makes one person fall for another rapidly, with an effective period of about three months. Cortisol makes the heart race, with an effective period of two years. Once the hormones stop secreting, everything tends toward boredom. Coupled with Lu Xun’s colorful life in the outside world, he had seen too much. His material and spiritual life was too rich, making it difficult for him to stay focused on one thing.

He could say goodbye to many people and many things, decisively and without leaving a trace. But not to Pei Tingsong. Pei Tingsong was different. No matter what, he did not want to hurt Pei Tingsong. Pei Tingsong was the strongest yet most fragile person he had ever met. He seemed strong enough that nothing could break him, yet fragile enough that a single rainstorm could make him ill.

So, he would stop here. He would stop while his feelings were at their peak, at the stage of friendship. He would stop at the stage where he could treat him well for a lifetime. Pei Tingsong was a fool who did not know how to make the best choice, so Lu Xun, a businessman, would choose for him. By remaining friends, Lu Xun could treat him well for a lifetime. He had promised Pei Tingsong that he would stay with him for a lifetime, so he could not allow himself to destroy that lifetime.

Hearing these words, the System fell silent. Its core, composed of code, could not comprehend Lu Xun’s contradictory and complex psychological state. The System’s code only recognized yes and no. If yes, be together; if no, say goodbye. The System could not yet understand the emotion of pushing someone away because you like them.

Looking at Lu Xun with clean, emotionless eyes, 888 tried to process what he had just said. In the end, its mechanical currents nearly tangled, yet it still could not analyze Lu Xun’s psychology. Ultimately, it only spoke in a flat, mechanical voice.

[Host, you are truly different from before. Although 888 cannot understand this emotion, I seem to understand why the Main System chose you as a host.]

Lu Xun did not respond to the System’s remark. He continued to stand there, looking in the direction Pei Tingsong had left. The corners of Lu Xun’s mouth twitched slightly, forming an expression that looked neither like a smile nor a cry.

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