My Reborn Villainess Fiancée Is Obsessed with Me—Too Bad I’m Not Interested - Chapter 1.11

—I never could have imagined that I would reincarnate into a world like this.

It feels like it happened in an instant—the moment I was reborn as the “villainess,” Serena Leclere. However, before that reincarnation, I certainly had memories and a life from my “past life.”

I lost my life in an accident or something, and when I realized it, I opened my eyes in the world of this story. It might be a common development, but for me, it was a shocking reality.

◆ My Name and Daily Life in My Past Life

In my past life, I was born and raised in a country called Japan. From the time I was little, I never had a major illness, lived in a fairly ordinary home, and had no special talents or big problems. I think I was a “normal girl you can find anywhere.”

My name consisted of a very common last name and a typical first name. It isn’t unique enough to bother mentioning here; to be honest, I’ve completely gotten used to my new name, Serena.

Every morning I went to university, worked a part-time job, and when I got home, I looked at social media on my phone or messaged friends. My small, secret pleasure was occasionally buying my favorite ice cream at a convenience store on the way home—I repeated that kind of daily life.

In school, I was in the liberal arts department. I remember studying a wide range of subjects like English, psychology, and cultural history. I didn’t have a big dream, but I was a student who liked books and anime and enjoyed games well enough. I almost joined a light music club, but I didn’t fit in and ended up fading out.

However, regarding “romance,” I am embarrassed to say my experience was basically zero. While my friends had drama with boyfriends and breakups, my timing was always off, or I couldn’t bring myself to be proactive. I never had a real, serious relationship.

◆ My View on Love and Leaning into Games

Perhaps because I lacked romantic experience, I tended to escape into “fantasies.” I would play girls’ manga and romance simulation games—so-called “otome games”—and swoon over the ideal prince characters.

However, I also felt that the romance depicted in games and manga was somewhat unrealistic. Because of that, a part of me was a bit cold, thinking, “There’s no way something like this actually exists.”

Sometimes I would laugh with my friends, saying, “A prince-type like this doesn’t exist in real life,” but somewhere in my heart, I couldn’t shake the faint hope that “maybe a wonderful person will appear for me someday.”

Holding those contradictory views on love while casually playing otome games—that was who I was in my past life.

◆ The Trigger for Reincarnation — A Sudden Accident

One day, on my way home from university club activities, I was listening to music through earphones as usual. I intended to be careful because the night road was dangerous, but apparently, that was my mistake.

Suddenly, I saw the lights of a speeding car in the corner of my eye, and the next moment, I was wrapped in shock and intense pain. I might have heard people around me screaming, but my consciousness went black in an instant.

Looking back later, I must have been involved in a traffic accident and lost my life then. I couldn’t believe I would die in such a way.

Rather than pain or fear, small things like the deadline for a report I hadn’t finished or cleaning my room flashed through my head. I wanted to scream at the unfairness, thinking, “This is a terrible way to end…”

◆ Awakening — As the “Villainess” Serena

Most of my memories after that are in darkness. I don’t know how much time passed. When I realized it, “the me from my past life” had become Serena Leclere, the daughter of a Duke, wearing a luxurious dress.

At first, I panicked. “Is this the world of an otome game? And of all things, I’m the ‘villainess’?”

The stories of the otome games I played in my past life slowly came back to me. Serena is the arrogant Duke’s daughter who gets in the way while the heroine develops a romance with the prince and nobles. …In the game, isn’t that the role that meets ruin?

Normally, one might want to cry out, “Why this fate…?” but surprisingly, I didn’t feel that much despair. This is because what I called “reality” had already vanished into the darkness of death.

Also, carrying over the “somewhat cold view on love” from my past life, a part of me just gave up and decided, “I’ll just live however I want in this otome game world.” I think that led to my “indifferent” attitude.

◆ Days as a Villainess — The Line Between “Cool” and “Indifferent”

When I started attending the academy as Serena, there was a part of me that understood the game’s progress from a meta-perspective.

“The heroine is Lily, and I’m the villain. But this is just a game anyway, right?”

Because I felt something close to resignation, I had no obsession with the Prince and looked at romance in general quite objectively. Since I had never failed at love in my past life—but also never truly loved anyone—I was even less interested.

People around me thought, “Lady Serena is cool and scary,” and rumored I was an “arrogant lady,” but that was also a “shield” I used to pretend to be indifferent. Deep down, I thought it was better to just go with the flow rather than get obsessed with romance and meet ruin.

◆ The “Solitude of the Past Life” Hidden Inside

However, I wasn’t “cool” in the true sense. Rather, I just didn’t know how to handle the confusion of being someone with “zero real romantic experience” thrust into the glamorous high society of this world.

At first, I had no one I could call a friend. While many people paid attention to “heroine candidates” like Lily, I was shunned by people as a “villainess.”

Even so, before I could feel lonely, I had a habit of cutting it off, thinking, “Well, it doesn’t matter.” Just as I gave up on reality and sought dreams in otome games in my past life, this time I was looking at things with a cold gaze from the “sidelines of the game.” I was stuck in that kind of cycle.

◆ Fate Moving the “Game” — Meeting Lily and the Prince

Eventually, when Lily was given the status of a “Saint” and the plot regarding the engagement with the Prince began to move, I felt for the first time, “Maybe I have to fight with my life once more.”

I might be condemned by Lily—but it felt like someone else’s problem. To me, since everything had ended in my past life, the fate of the game didn’t matter. Or so I thought, but a strange heat gradually began to sprout deep in my chest.

I think it wasn’t so much an “interest in the Prince” as it was the possibility that “maybe it’s okay for me to get serious.” I, who had faked my feelings and stayed away from love in my past life, felt a faint hope that I might find real love here.

◆ The Trauma of the Accident and “Loving Seriously”

Death in my past life—the despair and painful regret I felt then. “Why didn’t I try harder to like someone?” “I wanted to die after falling in love properly…” I had been hiding those desires for a long time.

In my past life, I lived while running away, unconsciously afraid of “being loved.” The villainess Serena, pretending to be indifferent, was an extension of that.

That is why, when I learned that Prince Alexis actually cared for me even while acting “cold,” my heart suddenly began to race.

I might be able to experience what I wanted in my past life—”to be loved seriously by someone”—in this world. That hope changed me from someone who lived carelessly, thinking “the game doesn’t matter.”

◆ Gratitude for Reincarnation and the “Real Me”

And so now, the memories of being Serena the villainess and the memories of “when I was an ordinary college student” are strangely melting together within me.

If I hadn’t reincarnated, I would have died a flavorless death. I wouldn’t have met Lily or the Prince; I would have just consumed game events as fantasies and ended my life with zero romantic experience.

But in reality, I am living in this world like this and have grabbed the miracle of “loving each other” with Alexis. With serious feelings that I couldn’t have imagined in my past life, I am living beyond the title of “villainess.”

I think I was able to become the “real me” because I reincarnated. Thoughts and emotions I couldn’t put into words well in my past life can now be expressed in this world with the help of the Prince and my friends. That is a big step in breaking out of my shell.

◆ “The Me Now” Filling the Regrets of the Past

Sometimes, before going to sleep, I remember the moment of the accident and feel like I can’t breathe. I couldn’t say goodbye to the things I left behind, my parents, or my friends. There are nights when my throat trembles and I whisper “I’m sorry” over and over.

But to fill that regret, I chose to “love someone with all my heart” in this world. The reason my relationship with Alexis improved and I could overcome the conflict with Lily might be that the “me” from my past life couldn’t give up on the wish to “try liking someone for real.”

Therefore, I am grateful to my past self as well. Because I didn’t give up on enjoying games and fantasies, I was able to think, “I want to love the Prince seriously” when I met him in this new world. Ah, I feel that this is the “real love” I was looking for.

◆ Finally — A Message to the “Villainess” Me

Sometimes I feel strange because my past and current memories mix, but I won’t hesitate anymore. It doesn’t matter if I’m a villainess or a reincarnated person. If I can find “real love,” that is the best happy ending.

No matter what Lily says or how I’m threatened with “reincarnator corrections” or whatever, I choose my own life. I will now grab the brilliance I couldn’t find in my past life.

And if there is anyone with the same feelings, I want to tell them: You don’t have to give up, even if you’re a “villain” or a side character in a game. Since someone like me could change, I’m sure you can too.

Yes, by reincarnating, I finally became the “real me.”

If I could speak to my past self, I would say with pride: “The small dream you had is coming true in this world.” Because I met a “true love” that is warmer than anything else, I can now overcome both regret and loneliness.

—With those inner thoughts hidden away, I walk the school hallways as “Serena Leclere” today as well. To enjoy the daily life of “loving and being loved,” which was impossible for the old me.

That is the greatest salvation for me, who reincarnated as a villainess. It might be late, but I feel this fate isn’t so bad after all.