My Ex-Boyfriend is Obsessed with Getting Back Together - Chapter 15

“The benefactor’s heart is sincere. Your name is recorded in the temple’s merit ledger year after year,” the monk said, his voice deep and gentle, as soothing as the temple’s calming sandalwood incense.

“Does sincerity mean one’s wishes will be granted?” Gu Linchuan stood before the Buddha, looking up at the serene statue with its lightly pursed lips.

“The Buddha seeks affinity. If the karmic bond has reached its end, I hope the benefactor can let go soon and not force what is meant to pass.” Having spoken, the monk closed his eyes and began to chant sutras in a low voice.

Gu Linchuan lit the incense, holding it with both hands at the level of his brow, and bowed deeply toward the Buddha.

Seven years ago, when Pei Ran vanished so abruptly, Gu Linchuan had lost his soul along with him. He had traveled to temples across the country, praying for Pei Ran’s return, no matter the cost.

He once disbelieved in gods and Buddhas, thinking that worldly matters were entirely within human control. But when he was drowning in agony, he found himself with no other choice but to seek divine protection.

Now that Pei Ran had returned to his side, he was willing to believe the heavens played a part, and so he traveled from city to city to fulfill his vows.

No one noticed that his fingers, gripping the incense sticks, were trembling slightly. Gods above, thank you for your mercy. Thank you for not making me wait too long.

Gu Linchuan stood up, inserted the incense into the burner, straightened his lapels, and stood with dignified stillness.

The monk finished his chant and slowly opened his eyes, looking at the man before him. “The benefactor’s wish has been fulfilled, so your heart should be at peace. Why, then, is there an even deeper obsession locked between your brows?”

“He always wants to leave. I can’t find him,” Gu Linchuan replied, half answering and half muttering to himself. “He is so detestable. Shouldn’t I hate him?”

On the day Pei Ran left, Gu Linchuan had gone back to the family estate to pick up some documents, where he happened to run into Gu Chen.

He felt no affection for this half-brother, a product of an affair. Allowing him to live in the house was already an act of mercy, so he naturally showed him no kindness.

Gu Chen was his usual approachable self, stepping forward timidly to greet him. “Brother, why are you back?”

Gu Linchuan paused, his tone harsh and his face cold. “This is the Gu estate. Do I need to report to you when I come home?”

“No, of course not,” Gu Chen retreated awkwardly, clearing the main path. “Brother, you go first.”

“What’s in the bag?” Gu Linchuan narrowed his eyes.

When Gu Chen had stepped aside, the contents of the bag were briefly exposed. If he wasn’t mistaken, it was a scarf.

Specifically, it was Pei Ran’s scarf.

Gu Chen’s hand instinctively jerked the bag behind his back, and he stammered in response, “It’s, it’s nothing.”

“I don’t have the patience to repeat myself,” Gu Linchuan said darkly.

Gu Chen had no choice but to confess. “It’s Ran-ge’s scarf.”

“Why is his scarf with you? Are you two that close?” Gu Linchuan’s expression darkened further, a precursor to a looming rage.

In truth, the answer was self-evident. Back then, Pei Ran had abandoned everything to follow Gu Chen to the UK. They weren’t just “close,” Gu Linchuan thought with a bitter, mocking smile.

“Ran-ge is away for work. I dropped him off at the airport. The sun was bright this morning and he felt too warm, so he asked me to bring it back for him.”

Again. Gu Linchuan closed his eyes. He always had to find out about Pei Ran’s departures from someone else’s mouth.

It was like this seven years ago, and it was like this seven years later. Except this time, he didn’t even have the right to be angry.

His breathing grew ragged, and he almost lost control of his emotions. His fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

“Brother, are you okay? You look terrible. Are you sick?” Gu Chen looked at him with concern.

“Get lost,” Gu Linchuan rasped.

Gu Chen seemed startled and shivered, then quickly hurried away with the scarf.

However, as he rounded the corner, a barely perceptible smirk touched his lips.

Returning to the present, the monk sighed softly. “Benefactor, your obsession is too heavy.”

“Other than this, I ask for nothing else,” Gu Linchuan replied as if he hadn’t heard the warning. His eyes were like glaciers that never melted, silent and cold.

The monk murmured a “Namo Amitabha” and turned to leave, leaving Gu Linchuan alone.

How should I punish Pei Ran for his carelessness? Leaving without even a word of notice, just like seven years ago. He was so detestable, that heartless little liar…

Countless dark thoughts surfaced in his mind, only to vanish an instant later.

They say the fingers are connected to the heart, but the bond between him and Pei Ran went deeper. If Pei Ran suffered even a tiny bit of grievance, Gu Linchuan would feel it tenfold.

Gu Linchuan smiled bitterly. Even like this, he couldn’t harden his heart enough to truly take revenge.

Love was too vast, all the pettiness and ugliness seemed so small and ridiculous in its presence.

If Pei Ran could appear at this moment and rescue him from this scarred purgatory…

If only…

Time seemed to stretch on. Gu Linchuan stood there with a straight back, looking up at the divine statues.

Suddenly, a rustling sound came from the doorway, followed by a fluffy head peeking in. “Gu Linchuan?”

Gu Linchuan’s pupils constricted. He turned around in disbelief. It was Pei Ran.

Seeing him turn, Pei Ran confirmed he hadn’t mistaken the person. A smile instantly bloomed on his face as he stepped out from the doorway. “Why are you here too? What a coincidence.”

Gu Linchuan stood frozen, watching Pei Ran walk toward him step by step. Pei Ran tilted his head and asked, “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“Saying what?” Gu Linchuan felt like he was having an out-of-body experience, watching the scene as a bystander.

Pei Ran was used to his sharp tongue, so he didn’t find the silence jarring. He repeated himself, “Why are you here?”

“To offer incense.”

“What did you pray for?” Pei Ran asked curiously.

“I didn’t ask for anything.” Gu Linchuan turned away, no longer looking at him.

Pei Ran really appeared… a real, living Pei Ran… right before his eyes.

Gu Linchuan’s gaze was complex.

Pei Ran assumed he simply didn’t want to say. “Oh.”

Pei Ran had just come out of the display area in the side courtyard. After wandering in circles and losing his way, he retreated to the ginkgo tree from earlier. To his surprise, when he turned around, he saw a familiar figure.

He walked up quickly but was afraid of being wrong, so he just leaned against the doorframe and called out softly.

Gu Linchuan’s soul finally returned to his body, and he found his voice. “Are you here to offer incense too?”

Pei Ran nodded, seemingly surprised that Gu Linchuan was actually speaking to him.

“What is your wish?” Gu Linchuan’s voice was very soft.

Pei Ran smiled slightly and simply replied, “Just some worldly matters.”

Looking at him like this, Gu Linchuan felt as if he were traveling back in time to see the Pei Ran of seven years ago.

A youthful face in a school uniform, the breeze lifting his hair to reveal a clear forehead. The boy on the bicycle looking back at him with a smile that was brighter than the spring sun.

“Gu Linchuan! Pedal faster! If we’re late again, I don’t want to stand at the gate!”

“I’m coming.”

By the time they left the temple, lunch hour had passed. The two of them wandered aimlessly through the snack street, one behind the other.

Gu Linchuan’s flight was in the evening, so they still had plenty of time.

Pei Ran felt the person beside him was a bit strange, but he couldn’t put his finger on why.

For example, just now, he had barely glanced at a stall selling Qingtuan (green rice balls) for a second too long, and Gu Linchuan stopped to buy a box and handed it to him.

Flattered and surprised, Pei Ran pointed at the small box to confirm, “For me?”

“Yes,” Gu Linchuan nodded.

“Thank you.” Pei Ran took it with a beaming smile, opened the box, and took a bite.

The skin was soft and fragrant, filled with sweet but not greasy red bean paste. The taste was very authentic.

After one bite, Pei Ran’s eyes widened with delight, and he pointed at the Qingtuan, signaling for Gu Linchuan to try one too.

Gu Linchuan took one, tasted it, and said plainly, “It’s not bad.”

From then on, any food Pei Ran looked at twice would appear in Gu Linchuan’s hand the next second.

The surprises came so suddenly that Pei Ran didn’t even dare to ask why he was being so nice. He was afraid Gu Linchuan would suddenly snap out of it and return to his old, cold self.

Along the way, Pei Ran’s mouth was stuffed full, and he squinted his eyes with a look of pure happiness. “This is so good.”

Gu Linchuan let out a soft laugh and wiped the corner of Pei Ran’s mouth. “No one is stealing it from you, eat slower.”

“Cough, cough…” Pei Ran was startled by the sudden closeness. A cracker crumb got stuck in his throat, and he began to cough violently.

Gu Linchuan’s large palm landed on his back, rubbing it to help him breathe. His face darkened again as he pursed his lips in silence.

Pei Ran’s face turned bright red, and it took a while before he recovered.

Once Pei Ran was a bit better, Gu Linchuan asked gloomily, “Am I that scary?”

“No, no, not scary at all,” Pei Ran waved his hands quickly, terrified of a misunderstanding. “I just ate too fast.”

“So stupid,” Gu Linchuan’s expression softened slightly. His thin lips moved, speaking in his usual tone.

After eating and drinking his fill, Pei Ran let out a quiet burp. He felt the soft flesh on his stomach and crouched on the ground with a mournful face. “My abs are gone from all this eating.”

“Under normal circumstances, a person’s waist and abdomen are soft,” Gu Linchuan said rather helplessly, pulling him back up. He added, “It’s not good to crouch right after eating.”

Pei Ran grew bold enough to lean against him. Seeing no resistance, he blinked at him. “Really?”

Gu Linchuan nodded. The next second, he felt a light poke at his waist, followed by Pei Ran’s accusation: “You liar! Your abs are still there!”

For once, Gu Linchuan was at a loss for words. He finally said, “I was holding my breath just now.”

“Why were you holding your breath?” Pei Ran asked suspiciously, clearly not believing him. “Relax, let me try again.”

Gu Linchuan grabbed his mischievous hand, giving him a warning look.

Pei Ran retreated sheepishly, muttering under his breath, “Stingy, always lying to me.”

Gu Linchuan didn’t want to argue about the topic. He slowed his pace to walk with him. “How long do you plan to stay in Suzhou?”

“I’m not sure,” Pei Ran thought for a moment. “About a month. I’ll go back to Nancheng before New Year’s Eve.”

Pei Ran didn’t have many acquaintances left in Nancheng, but there were still some relatives in the Pei family. For his first New Year back in the country, he had to pay his respects.

Gu Linchuan hummed in acknowledgment. “When you were abroad, did you celebrate New Year’s Eve?”

“We did.” Remembering it, Pei Ran couldn’t help but smile. “We’d have barbecues on the lawn, drink beer, and watch fireworks together.”

“Seven years, that’s a long time,” Gu Linchuan said. “Did you ever think about coming back to visit?”

Pei Ran shook his head very slightly, trying to keep his voice natural. “No. Ringing in the New Year is the same no matter where you are.”

Gu Linchuan stared at him as if trying to see through him, but finally, he only said, “Is it because there was no one left in the country for you to care about?”

“No, that’s not it.” Pei Ran’s heart flickered, and he avoided the other man’s gaze. “My mother was alone abroad, I couldn’t leave her.”

“How is your mother’s health?” Gu Linchuan asked.

“Her condition has stabilized.” Pei Ran nodded. When he thought of his mother, his eyes turned tender. “The doctor said there’s hope she might wake up this year.”

“She will.” Gu Linchuan rubbed Pei Ran’s head. It was fluffy and felt good to the touch. “When you have time, take me to see her.”

Gu Linchuan had grown up with weak family ties. His parents had a business marriage and had no affection for him. The maternal care he had felt growing up had mostly come from Pei Ran’s mother. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say she was like a second mother to him.

Pei Ran was about to nod when he suddenly realized something was off. “Don’t you not remember the past?”

“I only forgot you,” Gu Linchuan lied with a straight face.

“So that’s how it is.” Pei Ran felt a momentary pang of disappointment, but he leaned in again. “Did the doctor tell you why? Will you recover later?”

Gu Linchuan pinched the back of his neck to keep him from leaning so close, frowning. “Didn’t you say you did something to wrong me? Isn’t it better that I forgot?”

Pei Ran sighed, unsure how to describe his feelings in that moment. “But you also forgot all the beautiful things between us.”

And to only forget him—it was truly heartbreaking.

Gu Linchuan arched an eyebrow. “For example?”

“For example…” Pei Ran was about to give an example, but seeing the playful look on Gu Linchuan’s face, his face instantly turned red. “You answer my question first.”

Gu Linchuan shrugged. “The cause is unclear. Whether I recover depends on the situation.”

What kind of answer is that? Pei Ran grumbled internally.

“Pei Ran, do you want me to remember?” Gu Linchuan turned his head to look at him.

Pei Ran paused, then shook his head after a long while. “I don’t know.”

“What are you hesitating for?” Gu Linchuan asked.

Pei Ran shook his head again. “I don’t know.”

Gu Linchuan, however, acted as if he didn’t care about the answer and just wanted to tease him. Seeing Pei Ran’s conflicted face, he smirked.

“Fine, your face is scrunched up like a steamed bun.” After laughing, Gu Linchuan calmly spat out two words, “So stupid.”

Gu Linchuan’s expression was flat, making it impossible to read his mood, but Pei Ran sensed a sudden wave of sadness.

He struggled to keep up with Gu Linchuan’s pace, saying in his heart, Yes.

I want you to remember, even if you hate me, resent me, or don’t want me anymore.

At least there would have been a surge of emotion, rather than a pool of stagnant water with no ripples at all.

But Pei Ran was a coward, only daring to whisper it in his mind.

Finally, he quietly stepped on Gu Linchuan’s shadow, as if the two of them were still inseparable.

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