Longing for the Stars - Chapter 8

“As for what caused me to act so strange…”

Sirius started explaining this only after my sense of shame had subsided, and after the captain—his voice sounding a bit stiff from the other side of the door—had come by to check on the situation.

Ignoring me as I froze in guilt and confusion, Sirius called out a breezy “Coming!” and hopped out of bed. I wasn’t in the wrong for yelling “Put some clothes on!” at the idiot who tried to open the door completely naked. After that, Sirius coughed loudly in a panic and rushed to bring me some water, just as a loud, meaningful throat-clearing came from behind the door.

“You don’t have to come out, Louvre. How is your physical condition?”

“I’m totally fine! But I can’t make it today, so I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“I see.”

I glared at him while drinking the offered water, thinking how irritatingly energetic he was.

“Ah—and, well, is Stark there?”

Oh, right. I was currently absent from work without permission. I panicked, thinking this was no time to be leisurely drinking water, but Sirius pressed down on my shoulders to keep me from getting out of bed.

“He’s fine.”

His clear voice seemed to pierce through the door.

I instinctively looked at Sirius, but because of the angle, I couldn’t really see his expression.

“…Understood. Then I’ll count on you both again starting tomorrow.”

“Okay!”

Sirius replied with that same irritatingly cheerful energy. He came back to the bed still without wearing any clothes. I scolded him with a low “Hey,” but he just looked at me as if wondering what was wrong, so I could only sigh.

I set the empty glass on the bedside table and turned toward Sirius while lying on my stomach. Then Sirius, his eyes looking somewhat softer than usual, carefully tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and smiled happily.

Even though he had done something outrageous to me yesterday for no clear reason, I couldn’t say anything because the idiot responsible looked so genuinely happy. If he were even slightly more of a jerk, I would have executed this idiot along with the entire room using a full-power spell the moment I woke up, regardless of regulations.

Maybe it’s because we’ve known each other so long, or because I’ve always been forced to be his caretaker, but I just can’t seem to be firm with him.

Ignoring my heavy sigh, the idiot naturally hugged me and rubbed his face against my head. I was about to raise my voice in protest for the umpteenth time when he said those opening words.

“Does that story have to be told in this situation?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Just because. I hate it if it’s not like this!”

Sirius is stubborn. Once he decides something, he never backs down. The only time he yields is when he is objectively wrong and I completely tear his logic apart. Therefore, I knew that in cases like this where he couldn’t explain why it was bad, it was better for me to give in quickly.

“…So, what was the cause?”

As I gave up and relaxed my body, Sirius curled the corners of his mouth up in a good mood and hugged me with considerable strength. When I complained that it hurt, he let go quite easily; I really can’t predict when he’ll decide to be stubborn.

“The cause was a bug. I’m sure everyone took the ones out of me pretty quickly, but I think that thing released a kind of toxin from the moment it started nesting.”

“A toxin?”

“Not the kind that kills you, it’s fine.”

He patted my back like he was soothing a child, adding a cheerful “I’m alive, see!” I let out the breath I had been holding unconsciously, thinking he had a point.

“It’s probably like an aphrodisiac—the type that forces you into heat.”

“…So that’s why you were acting strange.”

“Yeah, well, something like that.”

I remembered the events of last night. The image of Sirius, right after waking up, suddenly pulling my arm and pinning me to the bed.

“…So, it was all the monster’s fault.”

That feverish expression and voice, that gaze so sweet it felt like I would melt—it was all created by a monster. Just as I felt a small sense of relief at that realization, the man holding me blinked his large eyes so rapidly I could almost hear the sound.

“Ah, that part is different.”

“What?”

“Don’t you remember? What I said before I held you, Al.”

“What?!”

I tried to push his chest away to gain distance at the exact same moment Sirius pinned me down again with a breezy “Heave-ho!” Having lost yet again in a simple contest of power, I wrinkled my face in frustration.

“You don’t remember?”

The look in Sirius’s eyes as he looked down at me made my heart feel tight. In other words, I felt uncomfortable.

When a normally noisy person becomes quiet, it’s uncomfortable. Besides, his eyes are several times more intense than a normal person’s; being stared at makes me feel like I’m being physically pierced.

“Al.”

He called my name in a flat voice.

I wanted to resist the atmosphere that was forcing me to dig up yesterday’s events, but my mind began tracing back through my memories on its own.

Then, I remembered what happened when I told Sirius he was acting strange.

As I remembered, my eyes gradually went wide.

‘…I thought it would be better to take advantage of this.’

‘Al, you’re just too kind.’

‘You can’t push me away, can you?’

The memory came back vividly, like a bubble popping. I opened my mouth slightly.

“…You… you used me.”

“……Eh.”

“Even though you knew you were under the influence of a monster’s toxin, and even though you knew how to deal with it, you used me just because I happened to be there?”

“Wait, uh…”

“I…”

I was beyond disgusted.

I felt an anger unlike anything I had ever felt before boiling deep in my gut.

“Do I have to take care of your sex drive, too?”

A voice came out of me that I had never heard before. I didn’t know I could sound so low and cold. Seeing Sirius’s eyes waver with shock, I pushed his body away with all my strength.

Seeing him pull away so easily, I got out of bed immediately.

However, my lower body felt like it didn’t belong to me and had no strength, and various places hurt. The only reason I could move at all was because I was angrier than I had realized.

I put on my clothes and tied my tie.

Behind me, Sirius was watching me with his eyes spinning, making “ah” and “uh” sounds while reaching out awkwardly, but I ignored him and put my hand on the doorknob.

“Wait.”

I heard a desperate voice right next to me. Knowing Sirius was standing behind me, I turned only my head to look back. There stood a man with a face like a puppy about to be abandoned.

I felt nothing for that face now, even though I might have been swayed by it just a few minutes ago. Instead, my anger accelerated.

“…Don’t talk to me for a while. Stay away from me.”

Before seeing his reaction, I opened the door and stepped into the hallway.

Dammit, the pain makes it hard to walk. But I absolutely refuse to let it show in my face or attitude. At the same time, I hate the idea of running to the infirmary even more. I walked forward, gritting my teeth and staring ahead, and happened to make eye contact with the captain coming from the other direction.

The captain’s eyes widened as if he were seeing something unbelievable.

“Y-You… what happened—”

“Give me work.”

“Eh?”

“Give me work. Right now.”

“Uh, ah… okay, then handle the filing…”

“Understood. Thank you.”

I bowed so sharply it almost made a sound. If I didn’t, I felt like I would explode and fire off a spell or two in my rage. I headed toward the room where I was assigned work, exhaling a thin breath through my teeth to maintain my composure.