Longing for the Stars - Chapter 32

I returned to the room feeling completely wilted, but the faint scent of Al drifted toward me.

Just that was enough to restore my spirits instantly; it felt as if my very vision grew brighter. My own bed was unusable due to all the things that happened yesterday, so Al was currently sleeping in his own bed.

Turning my gaze that way, I could see a tuft of white hair peeking out from the mound of blankets. Just knowing Al was there made my face relax on its own, and a soft, warm feeling spread through my heart.

I set the paper bag on the table and walked over as quietly as possible, catching sight of Al sleeping with a healthy expression. His color looked better than it had when he first woke up.

“So cute.”

The words came out as naturally as breathing. Because he really is cute.

When I think about how this person truly belongs to me now, every day feels like a miracle.

To get him—to make him feel affection for me—I didn’t choose my means. I narrowed his social circle and made sure he interacted with as few people as possible besides me. Whenever I realized someone had feelings for Al, I checked them quite blatantly, and I even made unreasonable demands to the instructors just to become his roommate.

I knelt by the bed and stared intently at his sleeping face. When I stroked his white, soft cheek with the back of my finger, his lips moved just a tiny bit. Even a trivial gesture like that was unbearably dear to me.

Why do I love him this much?

Actually, I’ve paused to think about that quite often. But every time, I conclude that it’s not something based on logic.

Still, if someone asked me to list what I love about him, plenty of things would come to mind.

The way he sparkles like a star.

His beautiful looks and his cute smile.

The way he has real strength despite being slender.

How incredibly skillful he is at using magic.

The way he observes his surroundings calmly, yet is surprisingly quick to pick a fight.

How he hates to lose.

What a hard worker he is.

The way he worries about not being able to put on much muscle.

How his face gets a little “ugly” when he’s embarrassed.

If I were asked what I love most, I’d struggle to choose, but if I had to pick one thing…

It would be his eyes, which look like the sky and have been watching me all this time.

Being gazed at by those eyes is probably what I love most of all.

“Nn…”

Al stirred, letting out a breathy mumble. Still with his eyes closed, he moved his body slightly and stretched his whole self out like a cat. The tension slowly left his body, and just as slowly, the lids fringed with white lashes opened.

A distant, clear blue—like a winter morning—looked at the ceiling, then slowly turned toward me. The blue deepened slightly. Lips the color of pale petals curled into a tiny smile.

“…Sirius.”

My eyes were glued to him even in that fleeting moment his lips parted to speak.

The voice that came out was, of course, a bit raspy and not his usual mid-low tone, but even so, just because it’s Al’s voice, it sounds better to me than the finest instrument in the world.

“…Good morning, Al.”

Ah, I’m so happy to be the person who gets to say the very first “good morning” of the day to him.

“……What is it?”

“Eh?”

“Your face looks weird.”

“…What’s that supposed to mean?”

I love many things about him, but I also love how sensitive he is to my emotions.

He’s shockingly dense when it comes to romantic feelings, but well, that’s my own fault for narrowing his social circle, so I guess I brought that on myself.

“Al, drink some water. Your voice is totally raspy.”

“That’s your fault, though.”

“Ehehe, true enough.”

Al’s face returned to his usual expressionless state. But I could tell he was a little embarrassed because he poked his bottom lip out slightly and the tips of his ears turned red; he’s actually quite easy to read. I love it irresistibly when he shows those easy-to-understand emotional shifts just for me.

I placed a hand on Al’s back since he still couldn’t quite put strength into his body and slowly helped him sit up. The covers slid down, exposing his white skin in the bright room. To be honest, it was incredibly sexy and I wanted to pin him down right then and there, but I desperately held back. I already know for a fact that doing that would definitely make him angry.

“I can drink water by myself.”

“…Yes, sir.”

I moved a little away from Al and poured water into a glass. I nodded while biting my lower lip at his immediate remark and obediently handed the glass to him. The memory of trying to feed him water mouth-to-mouth and getting scolded while he was blushing is still fresh. When I tried to push things further after that, he stopped speaking to me. I am a creature capable of learning.

After finishing the water, Al let out a breath. It seemed he didn’t need any more, so I took the glass, set it on the table, and returned to his side. His eyes, like smooth glass beads, were watching me.

“…You.”

“Yes!”

“You’re definitely being weird.”

“?”

I tilted my head, looking at Al as he knit his fine, well-shaped brows.

“…Usually you’d be touching me right away, but why aren’t you doing anything today?”

“Nguu…!”

I bit the inside of my cheek. As hard as I could.

If I didn’t do this, my paper-thin self-restraint would fly away in an instant.

“…Can I touch you?”

“You never usually ask for permission.”

Al, still with a frown on his face, probably didn’t realize it. He didn’t realize that his voice sounded completely dissatisfied, or that saying it that way was basically the same as saying, “I want you to touch me.”

And that unconsciousness makes me giddy all over again.

“Hehe, I guess that’s true.”

Happiness was overflowing from within; I bet I look pathetic and lovestruck right now. But that’s fine. Al sought me out in such an easy-to-understand way.

I picked Al up, blankets and all, sat on the bed, and set him sideways on my lap. Al looked frustrated at being lifted so easily, but as I held him as if wrapping him up, his expression looked much more satisfied than before.

“…Hey, why are you so cute, Al?”

“A man can’t be cute. Go see a doctor.”

“To me, you’re the cutest thing in the world!”

“That’s complicated.”

“Why?!”

When I hugged him tight, Al laughed while saying it was hard to breathe, but he didn’t seem to mind. He was laughing defenselessly in my arms. When I saw that, I thought, Ah, I’m done for.

“Al.”

“Wha—mm, ugh…!”

I sucked on his thin, soft lips. At first, he froze in surprise, but within seconds the tension left him and he grabbed onto my clothes.

“…Haa, Al… Al, I love you.”

“Nnn… ngh, Siri… us…”

As I whispered between kisses, Al’s sweet, raspy voice leaked out.

We touched our lips together as if sharing our heat, then pulled away at the same time. Al exhaled to let out the heat trapped in his lungs and buried his face in the crook of my neck, rubbing his forehead against me slightly.

“Al.”

“…Mm.”

Even though we’ve hugged and kissed so many times already, Al still seems to find it embarrassing; he won’t show me his face afterward like this. I love that about him too.

“I love you so much.”

“…I’ve heard that plenty of times.”

“I don’t think I could say it enough even if I died!”

“You’re so dramatic.”

Al laughed faintly with amusement and pulled his face away from my shoulder. His face, still slightly flushed, was so cute it was practically a weapon, and I unconsciously squeezed him tighter.

Al probably doesn’t realize just how much I love him. My love is much heavier and muddier than Al thinks; it’s not as clean as the feelings Al has for me.

He seems to understand that my love is bigger, but I have an obsession and possessiveness that definitely exceeds his capacity. But I don’t think I need to tell him that.

“Al—”

“Hm?”

Eyes that looked like they had trapped the blue sky itself looked at me.

“I love you.”

When I said the same thing again, Al didn’t get embarrassed every single time anymore. Instead, he let out a light breath with a look that said he had no choice, but he said it for me with his cheeks slightly tinged with red.

“……I, um… love you… too.”

I hugged my cute, precious lover, who had turned as red as an apple and hidden his face again.

I don’t expect him to return my love in the exact same way.

But if he holds my hand back every now and then—truly, once in a while is enough—that’s plenty. Just knowing that my hand reached him is enough to make me invincible for the rest of my life.

Al is my sky, my star, and the most important person in the world to me. And that person loves me back. I really feel like there’s no greater happiness than this.

(End)