Longing for the Stars - Chapter 26

Aldebaran Stark is an excellent student.

His attitude toward his classes and his daily life is extremely serious; he is the picture-perfect honor student who never fails to prepare for or review his lessons. However, he is a man of few words and rarely changes his expression. Perhaps because of his appearance or his stoic nature, he didn’t have any specific friends. Occasionally, people would call out to him, but the impression of him being a loner was stronger—maybe because of his overly serious personality, or perhaps his choice of words, which lacked any sense of “softness” or “gentleness.”

But he himself didn’t seem to mind at all.

He always listened to lectures intently, went to the instructors if there was something he didn’t understand, and performed any task he was asked to do perfectly and without complaint. Even though we were the same age, Stark was so composed that you might think he was several years older.

Because he was that kind of person, I could only bring myself to speak to him once in a while.

But that was enough. Striking up a conversation, having him remember my name, occasionally sitting next to him in class or pairing up for practical skills, and on very rare occasions—eating lunch together… those small things made me happy.

I hoped that someday we would become closer. To be honest, I had given up on ever rivaling Louvre in anything, but I could match Stark’s level. I thought that if things continued this way, I might become his best friend. Yes, that’s what I thought.

“Stark! Teach me how to study!”

“Huh? Why should I?”

“Because you’re number one in written exams.”

“That’s because you’re lazy. I dislike people who don’t take their classes seriously.”

“Whaaa?! I’m not being lazy! I mean, sure, I might get a little—just a little sleepy? Or I can’t sit still? But I really do have the intention to listen properly…”

“……Ah, sorry, Stark. Just once is fine, please look over Louvre’s studies. I’m begging you; the teachers don’t have much time either. Please!”

“I’m counting on you!”

“…Only this once.”

From that day on, the relationship between the two of them improved rapidly.

No, that’s wrong. Louvre began to systematically sequester Stark.

Just as I had been captivated by Stark on the first day of school, Louvre probably was too.

But despite having such a seemingly simple personality, Louvre didn’t take action immediately. I think and this is just my guess that he was waiting.

He was waiting for the perfect moment when Stark, who hated losing more than anyone, would become more conscious of him than anyone else and be forced to get involved.

Stark is more serious than anyone. He is also a good person who can’t say no when asked for a favor. Therefore, if an instructor told him to do it, Stark could never refuse. Louvre had probably been waiting for this opportunity for a long time.

However, this wasn’t intentional. To put it bluntly, Louvre’s grades in written exams were truly terrible. They were so bad you couldn’t possibly get such scores just by pretending.

So, I believe it was Louvre’s instinct that guided him.

Not yet. A little longer. Now isn’t the time. A bit further.

With the sharpness of a predator stalking its prey, Louvre had been watching Stark the whole time.

If you ask how I could know such a thing, the answer is simple.

Louvre and I harbored the exact same feelings for Stark.

But unlike me, who was busy thinking about all sorts of complicated things, Louvre was vigilantly waiting for his moment. He waited for the instant he could surround Stark by the shortest path possible, without thinking of anything else.

I, on the other hand, was thinking about many things.

Long before things like “closing the distance bit by bit” or “wanting to be his best friend.”

I was thinking about the fact that I was looking at Stark, another boy—in that way.

Homosexuality isn’t particularly strange. They are a minority, but such people exist among the nobility and the commoners alike. Even at this academy, I had seen upperclassmen boys walking while holding hands. So, it shouldn’t have been strange, yet I was hesitant.

I was hesitant to step outside the “normal” framework.

But Louvre had no such hesitation. In his eyes, which sparkled as if they held great stars, not a single shred of doubt existed.

That became the decisive difference between us.

“Al! We’re roommates starting today!”

“…I just heard from the instructor. Damn it, why do I have to be the one to look after you? Besides! Both you and I already had roommates! Why did this happen so suddenly!”

“Apparently they hated me because I was too noisy!”

“What?”

“Hm?”

“So that means starting today, I’m the one who has to endure your loud mouth?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“I’m going to the instructor right now. There’s no way I’m rooming with someone like you.”

“Whaaaaaat?! No way! No!”

Before I knew it, Louvre was always by Stark’s side.

Meals, classes, training—everything. As if to say there wasn’t a sliver of space for anyone else to move in, Louvre continued to show it off to everyone around them.

Even so, I remained somewhat optimistic.

After all, no matter how you looked at it, it seemed to be a one-way street from Louvre. Stark’s eyes remained a clear light blue, and his expression didn’t change. If anything, I felt like his face was distorted in annoyance more often than not.

There was another reason I was optimistic.

It was because within Stark, there was an indelible sense of inferiority toward Louvre.

Sirius Louvre is far too dazzling.

Even if he doesn’t intend to, his brilliant light burns those who are “not like him.” From a distance, that light might just be a dazzling object of admiration, but the closer you get, the more it plants unbearable humiliation and inferiority.

The moments where you realize you can’t reach him no matter what you do or how much trial and error you go through are much more painful than others imagine. Especially when you have spent a long time on something, only to have him surpass you as easily as twisting a baby’s arm—that sensation was close to despair.

Stark tasted that despair more than anyone.

It would have been easier to just give up, but Stark wouldn’t; he continued to challenge Louvre. Each time, he would get hurt, get fired up, study hard, and then get lightly surpassed again. That’s why I thought it was about time for him to go crazy from inferiority.

I thought that any moment now, Stark would throw it all away, saying he couldn’t possibly be Louvre’s babysitter. But that time never came.

“Sirius.”

The way he addressed him changed from “Louvre” to his first name.

“You really are hopeless…”

The shouting grew less frequent.

“Sirius. What about this part?”

He stopped being reluctant to ask for help.

“Haha, you’re an idiot.”

He laughed.

When the two of them were sitting side by side in the corner of the classroom and I saw Stark’s smile, I heard the sound of something inside me cracking.

To this day, I don’t know if that was the sound of my love shattering, or the sound of anger at Stark for accepting the very person he had despised so much.

But from then on, I began my futile struggle.

Looking back, I was panicking. Even though I knew there was already an irreversible gap between us, I couldn’t help but struggle.

That’s why I changed the way I referred to myself to a more masculine “Ore,” and because I wanted to get even a little bit closer, I finally started taking magic seriously after several years at the academy. But it was too late.

By that time, the talents of Stark and Louvre were already so prominent that they weren’t something I could rival with a bit of last-minute effort. Still, I tried. I really tried.

I did everything I could think of: finding which attributes my mana was compatible with, figuring out how to attack using my physique, and identifying my own strengths.

And whether it was the result of that effort or a stroke of providence from God, good luck visited me.

One day after school, Stark was in the library alone. The orange of the sunset reflected beautifully on his white hair; it was as beautiful as a painting, and I was enchanted. But Stark looked like he was deeply troubled by something, so I gathered my courage and spoke to him.

“Stark.”

“…Hm, what is it.”

“Nothing, you just looked like you were worrying about something.”

“…Yeah, it’s this part here, about fire magic.”

“Oh, in that case—”

That moment was like a dream.

Sitting next to Stark and teaching him about magic. It was the moment the thing I had wanted to do since enrollment became a reality. On that day, I even thought I was the luckiest person in the world.

“Thanks, that helped—”

“Al! Oh, found you! Hey, hey, there’s a spell I want to try, so come with me!”

“Be quiet in the library, idiot. …Thanks for today, it helped. See you later.”

Seeing him stand up without hesitation along with a sigh, another crack formed.

Just as he was leaving the library, Louvre was looking at me. And knowing that I was watching, he touched Stark’s body.

Stark did not brush him off.