Longing for the Stars - Chapter 14

I am currently being hugged by Sirius. No, it might be more accurate to say I am being tied down or even restrained by his long limbs.

“Hey, Sirius.”

“No! Absolutely not! I won’t let go until Al says he’ll take it back!”

“That’s impossible. Look, this is exactly what I mean. Don’t cause trouble, and listen to what I say.”

“But Al, you’re being selfish too! The Captain never intended to put us in different squads!”

“But since I suggested it, he must have realized how useful it would be.”

“There’s no way! Right, Captain?!”

Sirius, who was sobbing, looked at the Captain with sharp eyes. Feeling clearly awkward under that gaze, the Captain casually looked away.

“……Well, it’s true that your pathetic behavior over this past week has been hard to watch.”

“?!”

“See? There you go.”

Though Sirius was visibly shocked, he still squeezed me tight, refusing to let go. We hadn’t even finished breakfast, yet time continued to pass in this strange atmosphere until that person appeared with the sharpness of a lightning bolt.

“How long are you going to keep blubbering, you crybaby brat?”

It was Mr. Heilden, his glittering blonde hair flowing messily. Today, his voice sounded even more raspy from alcohol than usual.

“Oh, good morning, Mr. Heilden.”

“Yeah, morning. I thought it was noisy this morning, and of course it’s you two. What did you do this time?”

“I was suggesting to the Captain that he should put Sirius and me in separate squads.”

“Ho? Sounds good to me.”

“?!”

Both the Captain and Sirius turned shocked eyes toward Mr. Heilden.

Even though he is a soldier, he smelled faintly of booze, as if he had been drinking late into the night again. Still, his expression was the same as always as he looked at the two of them with eyes that were sweet yet sharp.

“You guys are way too soft on Louvre. It’s not like he’s going to be here forever, so what’s the point in babying him like that? This isn’t the academy. Train him so he can communicate smoothly with anyone.”

“No, wait, that’s… that’s not it.”

“Huh? What do you mean? You were the one complaining to me that Louvre hasn’t been performing well.”

“That was different…!”

The Captain held his head in his hands once again.

Sirius still had me restrained, and I was becoming incredibly self-conscious about the stares from the people in the mess hall.

“Hey, Louvre.”

“…Yes.”

“Don’t make a face like a moping dog. Are you aware that you’ve been useless this past week?”

“…I wouldn’t say.”

“You were. What are you talking about, you were oversleeping every day and moping around without even eating breakfast.”

“Al…!!”

“Look. Stark isn’t going to take care of you forever, so pull yourself together.”

“……What.”

I thought I heard a low growl from Sirius’s throat that I had never heard before. Just as I looked up, Bibin’s angry voice flew in from the kitchen.

“You alcohol-soaked idiot, get over here right now—!!”

“So noisy! What is it, Bibin?”

“Just shut up and come here, you handsome-for-nothing!”

“Fine, fine. See ya, boys. Make sure you eat your breakfast.”

After watching him wave a hand and walk toward the kitchen, the Captain, sitting in front of us, let out a deep sigh.

He leaned his elbows on the table and frowned deeply. Just as I wondered if I had caused him unnecessary stress again, he sighed once more.

“…Stark.”

“Yes.”

“I don’t think of you as a man who makes careless remarks on a whim. That’s why I’m asking: is it your true wish to be in a different squad from Louvre?”

“Yes, absolutely.”

“Ghh, I see…”

“However, I don’t mean for it to be forever.”

“Eh?”

“I am confident that I am better at handling Sirius than anyone else here. But I think it’s a waste for it to stay that way. Sirius is a genius, despite how he acts, so I believe he should become capable of carrying out missions with anyone without issue, no matter what happens in the future. So, I thought we could swap places for a few days as a trial run. If it were permanent, someone’s stomach would probably give out.”

The Captain’s frown deepened as he looked down, seemingly weighing my words. When he looked up again, his gaze landed on Sirius.

“…Louvre, if you say no after hearing all that, you’re not a man.”

“……”

I couldn’t see Sirius’s face because he was hugging me, but the fact that he didn’t immediately argue back meant the answer was already decided.

“…How many days is the swap period?”

When he finally squeezed those words out, the Captain’s gaze softened.

“I can’t say for sure yet, as I have to coordinate to see if a swap is even possible. But it’s true! You should be able to work perfectly with anyone.”

“…Yes.”

“Alright, then that’s enough of that for now! Eat your food! Today’s training is going to be tough!”

As the Captain’s bright voice rang out, the mess hall slowly returned to its usual atmosphere. Amidst the noisy chatter and the sound of clattering dishes, I felt the strength slowly leave Sirius’s arms.

I looked up to see him making a face like he was holding back tears, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You look terrible.”

“It’s Al’s fault…”

“I see.”

I brushed off his complaint and turned back to my unfinished breakfast, taking a spoonful of soup. It had gone completely cold, but it was still a good meal.

“…If I do it right, praise me.”

“If you do it right.”

When I gave a clear answer to his unusually small voice, Sirius nodded without saying anything and started eating.

From the kitchen, I could hear a loud argument between Bibin and Mr. Heilden. The Captain, having finished his meal early, went to break it up, and the surrounding soldiers started making a fuss watching them. Today, the mess hall was like a zoo once again.

In that lively space, we ate in silence. It felt strange that the usually noisy man wasn’t talking, but I knew that when Sirius had this vibe, it meant he was thinking about something seriously.

If my suggestion goes through, will the relationship between Sirius and me change?

Will this seat next to me, which has naturally belonged to him until now, belong to someone else?

When I thought about that, my chest ached a little. I didn’t know what that pain was, but I believed without a doubt that this change was necessary for Sirius’s future.