I've Tried Going Back to Life After Dying - Chapter 33

Shortly after the ball, Hildegard was officially registered as the next head of the Radmond Count family.

Though Lauren was the eldest son, no formal notification had been made to the state as heir due to his minority.

While the affiliated noble families under their house had been informed of the next successor, there had been no shortage of voices expressing concern over the sickly Lauren inheriting the title from childhood.

That was precisely why Hildegard’s replacement as heir being in good health was largely welcomed as a favorable development.

Simultaneously, her engagement to Atrey, the viscount’s son from a related branch family, seemed to bring relief, as if the unstable foundation of the count’s household had finally solidified.

Hildegard’s world had transformed overnight.

From being a young lady destined to marry into another family, she now stood as the one who would carry their lineage. Even the social circles she stepped into were no longer the same as before.

In her previous life, Hildegard’s world had been that of a marquis’s household. The affiliated noble families under them, down to the lowest ranks, were incomparable to those of a counts.

Hildegard had primarily stood above the wives of those households.

But no matter how high her position, she had never stepped beyond the bounds of being a wife.

She believed she had been reasonably capable in managing the marquis’s household. She had worked hard enough to think so and had built trust with the servants.

On the other hand, she had been somewhat distant from her birth family.

Though she had worried about Lauren’s health, especially after he inherited the title, she had grown distant from her family home. She had been that consumed by her own affairs.

Lauren had no fiancée. Even after inheriting the title, he had no means of leaving behind an heir. That undoubtedly fueled the family’s unease and weighed heavily on him.

When Hildegard was officially designated as the next heir, she felt the full weight of responsibility pressing down on her shoulders.

Though she had willingly made her resolve and gained the approval of her parents and the family, she couldn’t help but tremble at the overwhelming sensation somewhere between fear and excitement that left her with an indescribable loneliness.

She couldn’t help but think that this very burden, which the sickly Lauren had carried all this time, was one of the reasons for his short life.

“Lauren, are you pushing yourself too hard? You mustn’t overexert yourself just because you’re enjoying it.”

Lauren was wise for his age, and his diligence made him all the more prudent.

But ever since he began learning from Vincent, he had clearly changed.

Though he had other tutors and diligently absorbed their teachings, after his lessons with Vincent, his demeanor was unmistakably different.

Like dry earth soaking up water, he absorbed the knowledge Vincent imparted, like flowers welcoming rain from the heavens.

Even at the dinner table, he eagerly shared what he had learned from Vincent with the family.

Seeing him like that, so radiant, Hildegard couldn’t help but feel hopeful.

Perhaps lifespan was something predetermined by God from the very beginning. If so, had Lauren in her past life exhausted his far sooner than intended? In this life, perhaps he could live out his true lifespan.

That night at the funeral, she had truly been right to wish for death.

Hildegard believed that with all her heart.

Her regret in her past life had been becoming Clifford’s wife. That was why, on the night of the funeral, she had prayed to God to return to death.

But there had been one more wish upon returning to death to watch over Lauren until the very end.

This time, she could stand by Lauren until his last moments, together with Atrey.

Before she knew it, in the short time since returning to life that spring, Hildegard had already fulfilled both of her goals.

“What is life, really? I fought for twenty years. I could even call it the Twenty Years’ War. Worries were just part of daily life. Days without them felt oddly lacking. Not that I disliked those days, though. Busily moving about was surprisingly fun, and above all, I was blessed with wonderful servants. But the greatest thing was meeting Austin.”

“I don’t care who this Austin is, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t murmur another man’s name so cheerfully in front of me.”

Hildegard’s habit of speaking her thoughts aloud far too loudly had persisted even after her return to life. At this point, she supposed it was ingrained in her very soul.

Atrey seemed bewildered by how suddenly mature Hildegard had become since spring, though he likely chalked it up to the emotional changes of a young lady coming of age.

“My apologies. But Austin isn’t like that. If I had to say, he was more like an unforgettable character from a cherished story.”

“That just makes it even more confusing.”

Surprisingly, whenever Atrey sensed another man in Hildegard’s life, he became oddly persistent.

It stirred bittersweet emotions in her, making her chest ache.

She had never imagined experiencing such innocent love with Atrey.

Living two lives, Hildegard found herself floundering in the great waves of her second youth—though, truthfully, she was happily drowning in them.

“Let’s coordinate our outfits for next week’s tea party.”

“Huh? There’s no need to go that far. It’s just a daytime tea party, not an evening ball.”

Lately, Hildegard had been busy. Now publicly recognized as the next head of the family, the tea parties she attended were nothing like the ones from her maiden days in her past life.

The gatherings she once attended with her mother had been to smooth her path as a bride. Now, they were about strengthening connections as the future head evidenced by Atrey accompanying her as her partner.

Atrey had been the spare in his viscount family. Naturally, he had never attended social functions like his elder brother, and above all, he was still a young man who had only just entered the academy that spring.

Like Hildegard, his position had changed.

And there was a reason he was so determined about next week’s tea party. It was being hosted by the marquis’s household, the Clifford’s.

The invitation had been delivered by Vincent, and in front of Lauren, she couldn’t outright refuse.

Had it been brought by one of the marquis’s servants, she might have made some excuse to decline.

This was exactly why Clifford was so thorough.

Who would have thought the day would come when she’d have to be wary of her former husband, whom she knew all too well from her past life?

She had thought her previous life had been eventful enough, but after returning to death, Hildegard felt as though she had been shown even deeper abysses of life.