I’ve Decided to Let You Go - Chapter 54

Right, from the moment this trip began, Natasha decided she wouldn’t think about Sieghart’s intentions anymore. She stopped dwelling on their tragic past and his crimes. Instead, she simply allowed herself to enjoy the journey.

“Wow…”

It had been a long time since she set foot in her homeland, and so much had changed.

Skendilend, once a top tourist destination even within the Kingdom of Charlier, had now lost its charm under the influence of the Empire. Its distinct character had faded, and now it looked entirely like imperial territory.

Still, traces of the past remained, and they stirred deep emotions in her.

The last time Natasha visited Skendilend, she was just a child. It had been during a rare family vacation, when they all went together to this coastal retreat.

Skendilend was nothing like the royal palace or the capital. Even the buildings were so unique that they seemed foreign. Young Natasha, who had never been abroad due to her severe seasickness, had been thrilled. She had asked excitedly if this place was the foreign land she had only read about in books.

Her eyes had sparkled as she gazed out at the open sea. Her tiny hands had clutched her cotton candy like it was a treasure.

She had rushed to keep up with her long-legged siblings, her short legs hurrying beneath her. Her family had looked back at her fondly, watching her with warmth and affection.

And now, here she was, in that same place… with the man who destroyed them.

“You traitor! You brought the Purifier to our land!”
“Just being alive is a betrayal!”

As Natasha stood silently, mesmerized by the beautiful scenery, chilling voices pierced the air and yanked her back to reality.

This was the first time she heard them so clearly, even though someone else was standing right beside her. Startled, she instinctively turned toward the man next to her.

Sieghart noticed her glance and gave her a curious look, as if to ask if something was wrong.

“Did you… hear that just now?” she asked.

“A sound?”

“No… never mind. I must’ve imagined it.”

Thankfully, it seemed he didn’t hear anything.

Natasha told him she wanted to look around on her own, then walked off into the street.

“Get out!”
“Leave!”

The voices returned without warning, surrounding her once more. They sounded harsher now, scolding her as if she were a fool for traveling so casually with someone, they considered the enemy.

“I didn’t have a choice… I really didn’t…”

She muttered the words as if trying to justify herself.

Was it so wrong to be happy? To forget the past for just a little while and enjoy the moment? Deep down, she felt unfairly accused.

But the guilt always returned. The moment she remembered who stood beside her, she couldn’t deny the truth. He was the man who had taken everything from her.

“This wasn’t what I wanted. I’m just… happy to be back home. It’s been so long…”

She must have looked like a madwoman, talking to herself in the middle of the street. She felt the stares of passersby, but their judgment didn’t hurt anymore. Not when compared to the condemnation in her family’s voices.

“Shut up!”
“Traitor!”
“Disgrace!”
“Betrayer!”

With every step, their voices grew louder.

So did the pounding of her heart.

If that was the case, maybe she could drown out the voices with her own heartbeat. If they were just noise, then maybe they could be silenced by something louder.

With that desperate thought, Natasha began to run.

She ran until her lungs burned and her legs felt like they would give out.

“Hah…”

It worked. While she ran, she couldn’t hear them. But once her body gave out and she could only walk, the voices returned.

“Traitor!”
“Disgrace!”
“Betrayer!”

Three voices now overlapped, pushing her to the edge. She had no strength left to run. Leaning against a wall, she let the voices wash over her.

She had no idea what they really were. Were they truly the lingering resentment of her family, or just hallucinations born from her sorrow? Only the gods could know. What she did know was that these voices never disappeared. Not until she broke down completely.

If Sieghart weren’t here, maybe it wouldn’t matter. She could collapse in fear all she wanted. It didn’t matter if others thought she was insane.

“Traitor…”
“Disgrace…”
“Betray—”

“Natasha.”

Just then, as she struggled to catch her breath, a familiar voice called out.

He approached from a distance, closing the gap between them with just a few long strides. Sieghart came to a stop in front of her.

“Are you alright?”

“Your Excellency… why are you here?”

“You were gone for quite a while, I came here looking for you.”

“…”

“I was worried about you.”

Worried…?

Natasha stared at him, as if she couldn’t quite understand. Sieghart didn’t say anything further. He simply extended his hand toward her.

Realizing what he meant, Natasha instinctively pulled her hand away from the wall. At that exact moment, the voices crept back into her ears. They carried a harsh threat, as if touching his hand would bring a curse down upon her.

Don’t touch him.

She didn’t want to.

She knew she should turn away. She should only come back after the voices were gone. A part of her feared that if the man realized something was wrong—if he noticed the voices tormenting her—he might react.

But it wasn’t fear of shame or embarrassment.

What truly frightened her was the thought of Sieghart discovering the voices and once again trying to—

Apologize.

I’m sorry, Natasha.

She hated those empty apologies. The tears he sometimes showed felt fake. She found them disgusting, and she never wanted to face them again.

Yes, that’s all it was.

At least, that’s what she told herself. But her body betrayed her thoughts. Her hand moved before she could stop it. Somehow, she stepped closer and took the hand he had offered.

Traitor!

The voices that had been ringing in her head suddenly disappeared.

It wasn’t a mistake. It wasn’t a fleeting moment of silence. The voices that had haunted her, controlled her, were truly gone.

“You’re alright now.”

Natasha didn’t understand.

Why did the voices vanish the moment she touched him, when nothing else had worked? She couldn’t convince herself it was just a coincidence.

And why, in that moment, did she feel so—

“You’re safe now, Natasha.”

Why did his touch, and those words, bring her peace?

One sentence from him did more than all the comforting words she had told herself over and over. It felt too powerful to be explained away as just Sieghart’s influence or ability.

Was she really finding comfort in his voice?

She couldn’t bring herself to say no. Not with certainty. Not even to herself.

She decided not to think about it anymore.

For now, she would just enjoy the quiet. She would embrace the freedom that came with the silence of the voices.

And for once, she would let herself forgive the man who always acted like he knew everything.

Later, the two of them visited the most popular café in the village. While the rest of the town was steeped in imperial influence, this café alone still held onto the spirit of the old kingdom. Because of that, many of the customers seemed to be immigrants who hadn’t been able to let go of their homeland.

Sitting among them brought Natasha more than just happiness—it brought anxiety. It was rare, but there was a chance someone might recognize her as the last surviving heir of Charlier.

Every time she met someone’s eyes, she felt herself shrinking like a criminal. She worried someone might see through her. Her chair felt less like a seat and more like a bed of needles.

Knock. Knock.

Someone tapped lightly on the table. A finger with a large ring tapped the wooden surface twice.

“Oh!”

When Natasha looked up, the woman in front of her gasped. At the same time, Natasha drew in a sharp breath.

What she feared had just happened.

“You’re the princess, aren’t you?”

The woman greeted her warmly, her expression filled with recognition. She was the daughter of a baron, someone Natasha had met a few times back in the Kingdom of Charlier.

If only she had denied it, said the woman was mistaken, the moment might have passed. But Natasha, startled, couldn’t say a word.

Taking her silence as confirmation, the woman smiled, clearly convinced. It was too late to deny anything now. So, Natasha gave a small nod.

“Would it be alright if I sat with you for a bit?”

“Ah…”

She was asking for her time.

She tilted her head slightly and looked at the man beside her. In response, he silently pulled his fedora lower over his eyes, as if to show he wasn’t concerned.

The baron’s daughter, whose name Natasha could barely remember, was not someone she was particularly happy to see.

“If it’s just for a moment, I suppose it’s fine.”

“Yes! Wonderful!”

Natasha thought she could keep the conversation short and then excuse herself politely. That would be enough to move on.

Finally, she accepted the baron’s daughter’s request.

“Princess—oh, but you’re married now, so I should call you Madam! What brings you here, Madam?”

“I’m here on a trip.”

“I see!”

The baron’s daughter, who used to live in the duchy, said she had moved to Skendilend earlier this year.

She said she had fond memories of visiting the place as a child and had always wanted to return. But now that she had actually moved here, she admitted that it wasn’t quite what she had hoped. The place had changed, and she couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed.

Natasha, however, found it hard to stay present in the conversation.

What if she also thinks I’m a traitor?

Maybe it was because of the voices from earlier, but her mind kept spinning with pointless worries. Memories of her past life—one that had no connection to this one—kept resurfacing.

In that past, she had been condemned by both citizens of the Empire and the duchy.

Some people claimed that the royal marriage had marked the downfall of the royal family. Some mocked her, the duchess scorned even within the ducal house. Others called her a traitor and criticized her openly.

Even if Natasha’s current path seemed more hopeful, she could never be sure of what people really thought.

And the truth was, their opinions weren’t completely baseless. As a child of the royal family, she had enjoyed its privileges. It was only fair that she bears some of its burden as well.

“Madam?”

The baron’s daughter suddenly called her in a more serious tone. The change in her voice and the formal way she addressed her made Natasha feel like something was about to happen.

Startled, Natasha clenched the fabric of her skirt tightly in her hands. Her grip was so strong that her nails pressed into the soft skin of her thigh, but she didn’t care.

She felt like a prisoner standing beneath a gallows, waiting for the rope to snap. She braced herself, expecting harsh words to follow.

“Thank you.”

“What?”

To her surprise, the baron’s daughter spoke not with judgment, but with gratitude.

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