It's Too Late for Regrets - Chapter 8.5

Her grip on the paper tightened.

 

“Clara. I want to go out tomorrow afternoon.”

 

“That’s not something you need to ask me, miss. You can go wherever you want.”

 

Wherever I want to go… A bright smile without shadows appeared on Ines’ face.

 

“…Okay.”

 

She was ready to take a new step.

 

 

The carriage was running across a vast wasteland.

 

The emblem engraved on the carriage roof glinted under the sunlight.

 

A silver sword entwined with red roses on a green background—it was one of the symbols of Eleanor.

 

Knights in armor lined with green satin closely escorted the carriage. A long line of servants followed behind it.

 

The child looked out the open window at the barren, dry land.

 

The endless scenery made it hard to guess the season, as not a single blade of grass grew.

 

But she knew that after a short nap, they would reach their destination.

 

They had already passed through several villages.

 

As she shifted her body to look farther ahead, the blanket wrapped around her slipped down.

 

Caesar pulled it back up with effort and lifted his head.

 

“I think it’s better to close the window now.”

 

But with a low voice, the carriage curtain was already drawn.

 

Caesar rolled his eyes and looked across.

 

A man with black hair tied in one tight knot was sitting like a painting.

 

He definitely hadn’t been there just seconds ago.

 

‘I wanted to look outside more while he wasn’t here.’

 

Sensing the reproach, Kian added a moment later.

 

“The desert wind is dry and hot. It’s not good for your throat.”

 

“You too? Saying the same thing, Kian.”

 

But now that he mentioned it, Caesar’s throat did feel a bit scratchy.

 

Though he pouted his lips, he leaned back against the seat. His small body sank into the plush chair made of the finest satin.

 

“When did you come?”

 

“Just now.”

 

“What if you get caught wandering around like this? If they find out I let you go, I’ll be scolded again.”

 

“I won’t get caught.”

 

“You never know.”

 

“Then there’s nothing I can do.”

 

Noticing Kian was dodging the question, Caesar frowned.

 

“Kian. Are you hiding something from me?”

 

“Of course not.”

 

“You didn’t… tell Father everything, did you? Our secret?”

 

“No.”

 

Kian wasn’t the type to lie. He had no reason to, either.

 

Still, Caesar looked nervously out the window.

 

Kian didn’t care much who was around before changing his form at will.

 

Since Kian’s specialty was illusion, it was normal for people not to notice even when he appeared out of nowhere.

 

Still, in case their voices were overheard, Caesar lowered his voice.

 

“So, what’s going on? Why am I going to the capital now?”

 

“Didn’t Rayan explain it to you?”

 

“He just said we’d be staying in the capital for a while, so I should come too. But he didn’t tell me why.”

 

“…Caesar, I think you already know.”

 

Kian’s eyes narrowed.

 

Caesar wasn’t good at hiding his feelings yet—especially not in front of Kian.

 

“Ah… you caught me.”

 

He smiled and buried his face in the blanket.

 

The reason Father was rushing to the capital was obvious. He’d heard they found Mother.

 

Of course, she wasn’t really his mother.

 

The secret between Caesar and Kian was about Ines. The mother Father was searching for—Caesar knew exactly where she was.

 

That’s why he knew he shouldn’t be going to the capital.

 

If he wanted to help Ines start a new life, he had to stay away from her—Kian had said so.

 

But… Caesar couldn’t hide the hopeful smile.

 

“I know I shouldn’t… but I’m still happy.”

 

“I want to see Mom.”

 

Two years is a long time for a child. But Caesar hadn’t forgotten a single thing.

 

He was born carrying all the dark memories Ines had. Because Kian had stayed with Ines back then, the baby who grew in her was affected too.

 

So he still remembered everything about her.

 

Caesar’s eyes curved sweetly.

 

“Just from far away. Okay? That’s your order, right?”

 

In the end, Kian reluctantly agreed.

 

“…Only from far away.”

 

“Yeah. I know.”

 

Because if Mom sees me… she’ll cry.

 

Even before he could finish whispering that thought, the carriage stopped.

 

Caesar’s green eyes turned toward the carriage door.

 

“Kian.”

 

As soon as Caesar gave a small signal, Kian’s body turned into black mist.

 

It swirled rapidly and shrank, then seeped into the child’s left chest.

 

The small heart thumped once, then began to beat a bit irregularly.

 

Caesar worked hard to steady his face, trying not to show emotion.

 

Only a few seconds passed.

 

As the black smoke disappeared without a trace inside the carriage, the door opened.

 

A black robe flapped in the sandy wind outside.

 

Silver hair reflected the sunlight, dazzling the child’s eyes.

 

“Caesar.”

 

The man’s eyes were the same green as his own. Though they shared the color of life, his father’s eyes were dry like the dying desert.

 

“Father.”

 

Caesar smiled brightly and squirmed toward him. He pulled his arms out from the blanket and reached for the man. A faint sign of life returned to the man’s face.

 

Just before the hot desert wind swept inside, he climbed into the carriage and shut the door.

 

Caesar started to curl into his father’s arms but changed his mind and sat on his lap instead.

 

His heart was still pounding too fast. His father, being sharp, would notice soon—and that would be troublesome.

 

“How are you feeling? Not too uncomfortable?”

 

“A little. I want to go outside….”

 

“The sun’s strong. And the wind is dry.”

 

He said the exact same thing Kian did. As if to prove it, a small vibration fluttered at the edge of Caesar’s heart.

 

Instead of insisting further, Caesar asked something else.

 

“When will we get to the capital?”

 

“Before sunset, probably. We’re almost there.”

 

A rough hand gently brushed through his black hair. Caesar quietly looked up at his father’s face.

 

Rayan Eleanor hadn’t changed much on the outside since two years ago.

 

He was still young and handsome, and didn’t look like a father at all.

 

His silver hair, once always neatly swept back, now fell naturally over his forehead, making him look even younger.

 

But saying he hadn’t changed meant he was still stuck two years in the past.

 

Time was killing him slowly, like poison. And the one who knew that best was Caesar, who stayed closest to him.

 

Rayan placed a hand on his son’s forehead and muttered.

 

“You feel warm.”

 

It was barely a touch. Caesar smiled and shook his head.

 

“I kept the blanket on too long. It’s hot. Can I take it off?”

 

“No. You had a bit of a cold.”

 

“I don’t get colds.”

 

Caesar glanced at his father.

 

Rayan hadn’t been well since they left the duchy a few days ago. Caesar was the only one who could read the young emotions behind his blank face.

 

So he quickly changed his tone and chattered brightly.

 

“Are there lots of fun things in the capital?”

 

“…Are you curious?”

 

“Yes! Berry said the capital is really different from Eleanor! I want to see the streets!”

 

“There’s probably nothing too special.”

 

“Hmm, still!”

 

His child’s playful tone brought a faint smile to Rayan’s face.

 

“Alright. We’ll rest a few days at the mansion, then—”

 

“No! I want to go out tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that.”

 

Caesar, who had always stayed quietly in his room without asking for anything, finally showed excitement.

 

Rayan didn’t find it too strange. This was Caesar’s first time visiting the capital.

 

After all, it took over two full weeks by carriage from Eleanor to the capital city of Randeva.

 

In the past two years, Caesar had been too sickly for such a long trip.

 

But this time, Rayan couldn’t leave him alone. He had to stay in the capital for at least two months.

 

Just last week, the information guild in Randeva delivered new information:

 

“We found someone who claims to know a woman resembling Her Grace the Archduchess. She’s in the slums of Gelnor, near Randeva.”

 

“They say she runs a facility for illegitimate children abandoned by noble families.”

 

Coincidentally, not just her appearance, but other details matched too.

 

From that moment, Rayan had been half out of his mind.

 

If it weren’t for Caesar, he would’ve ridden through the night and arrived in the capital already.

 

But he couldn’t leave his son alone for months. The boy’s weak health had already worried him enough.

 

Maybe he even inherited that from his mother.

 

“I want to see the royal palace too.”

 

“Alright….”

 

“Does the mansion look just like our house?”

 

Rayan couldn’t answer.

 

His son’s voice grew louder and quieter, eventually fading into a ringing sound.

 

Rayan froze, still wearing a faint smile.

 

Clear eyes with gentle double eyelids, a softly raised nose, neat lips, and skin so pale and clear you could see the veins—

 

That delicate, fragile woman had once again slipped into his mind.