It's Too Late for Regrets - Chapter 4.6

It was as if he had a compulsive fear that she would disappear again if left alone. He forced her to eat, and if she refused, he would kiss her aggressively.

And sometimes, as if to release some intense emotion that surged within him, he held her roughly.

He didn’t let her out of his sight for even a moment, leaving her no chance to summon Kian. Ines’s resistance didn’t last long and quickly faded. It was a matter of physical limits.

Time passed meaninglessly—she couldn’t tell if it was day or night. Just like before, Ines didn’t remember every moment of those long days.

Her first act of rebellion since being trapped in his domain had ended with a bitter price.

“Ugh…”

She shuddered at the sensation of the man slowly withdrawing from her body.

A kiss fell gently on her closed eyelids. His lips wiped away her tears.

Tears always followed the pleasure that felt like pain. Sometimes, just his touch was enough to make her cry.

And whenever she started crying, his kisses and rough hands would become gentler.

But Ines now deeply understood that none of this was love.

It was like a thing you didn’t want but couldn’t throw away either. If possible, you just hoped it wouldn’t break. That was all his feelings amounted to.

The man who had licked away all her tears got up. As the body that had heavily and warmly pressed down on her disappeared, a chill crept in.

The fluids sticking to her skin stole the last bits of warmth. As soon as he left the bed, Ines curled into a ball.

She didn’t want to think about anything.

She barely held back the dry heaves that kept rising in her throat. But she couldn’t completely hide the sound.

“Ugh…”

The man, who had been standing shirtless by the window looking out at the pouring rain, quickly turned his head.

“Are you in pain?”

When Ines didn’t answer, he strode over to her. His large hand touched her forehead.

“…You have a fever.”

“Just leave me alone.”

She mumbled in a cracked voice. He raised an eyebrow. Tired of trying to interpret every one of Rayan’s reactions, Ines just closed her eyes.

Maybe it was because she had drawn too much of Kian’s power that rainy day—her body didn’t feel right.

“Come here.”

“I said come here, Ines.”

When she stubbornly didn’t move, Rayan picked her up by force and carried her straight to the bathroom.

The bathtub was already filled with steaming water, as if he had prepared it in advance.

Her clothes fell away from her body. Soon, he placed her completely naked body into the bath.

Too exhausted to resist, she just let him handle her. Her black hair floated on the surface like seaweed.

…

There were no maids at the inn, so it was his job to wash her.

A high-ranking nobleman, the head of House Eleanor, a man with cold blue blood, washing his own wife with his hands—it would have shocked anyone who heard about it.

But he didn’t hesitate at all as he stepped into the tub with her.

“All you have to do is stay like this, Ines.”

Her upper body, covered in soap suds, was slowly wiped with a warm towel. Ines gave up trying to understand him and closed her eyes. He kissed her from time to time and muttered like he was talking to himself.

“Just don’t defy me and stay where I put you. I’ll give you everything you want, so what’s the problem?”

Well, what was the problem?

While Rayan stepped out to fetch a robe and towel, Ines sat alone in the bath, lost in thought.

In truth, not everything he said a few days ago was wrong.

Technically, he had kept the promises they made when they married.

Life in Eleanor was certainly better than back in Jenaire, when she lived on the streets of the capital.

She no longer went hungry or shivered from the cold. Her clothing was much better, too.

And even though he treated her harshly, Rayan was still the only person in that mansion who was on her side.

Actually, it wasn’t just about the mansion.

Rayan Eleanor was one of only two people who had ever saved her in her life. The fact that he didn’t love her wasn’t even the real issue.

Rayan had saved her, taken her in, and protected her. At least she didn’t have to worry about surviving day to day like she did in Jenaire.

That was everything she had wanted.

It was everything.

No—it wasn’t.

A sound that was neither a sob nor a cry scraped out of her throat.

“No…”

If she had just wanted to live, she wouldn’t have chosen Rayan.

What she had dreamed of was a life with love, happiness, and dignity—a life like a human being.

She had chosen him because he promised her that.

But now she knew. Those promises would never be kept. Maybe he never intended to keep them in the first place.

The hope Ines had clung to so desperately began to crumble. Her blue eyes turned toward the bathroom door.

“…I love you.”

She struggled to get those words out.

“Love…”

Her confession hit the closed door and vanished into empty air.

Ines quietly stared at the place where he had just been.

“I wasn’t wrong, Kian.”

Her heart beat erratically.

“Because I love him…”

No. Another voice inside her whispered in despair.

You were wrong.

You made the wrong choice, Ines. You fool.

…

You dared to wish for happiness, and now you’re paying the price.

If only you had stayed quiet and left with Lord Robert to Apael without wanting more… None of this would have happened.

“Love…”

Heh. Ines let out a long sigh.

No matter how many times she tried to brainwash herself into believing her love was right, it was no use.

She had been wrong. The future was now more uncertain than ever, and all she had left was a love that would never reach him and would haunt her for the rest of her life.

Her once-clear blue eyes grew clouded with tears.

She rubbed her eyes, not wanting to cry anymore, but suddenly her stomach lurched. The dry heaving that had plagued her for days returned, rising up her throat.

Ines leaned forward, bracing herself on the edge of the tub.

“Ugh…”

She covered her mouth with the back of her hand and curled into a smaller ball. Suddenly, a wave of fear struck her.

Ines’s face turned deathly pale.

No way. It couldn’t be.

No way…

No way…

Ines never got to see the full autumn of that year.

By the time she managed to leave the inn in Laika, and later spent weeks half-confined to her room in the mansion, the painful autumn had already passed.

And then came winter.

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