It's Too Late for Regrets - Chapter 4.5

This was Eleanor’s cemetery, a place only those with permission could enter.

An intruder? Rayan reached for the hilt of his sword and turned around. His movement was so quick and sharp that it was hard to believe he had just been lost in a memory from the past.

But the moment he saw the woman standing in the middle of the puddle, every thought vanished from his mind.

“…Ines?”

Even as he said the name, he realized how absurd it was.
How could Ines be here? He had clearly left her at the mansion, as always with a guard who also watched her.

Besides, this place—Laika—was a full day’s ride from the Grand Duchy.

Then was the woman glaring at him with those bright blue eyes just a hallucination?

“There you are.”

The woman, wearing nothing but a white slip, slowly looked around.

“It took me a while to find you. I didn’t expect you to be here….”

Before Ines could fully take in the surroundings, she was grabbed by a strong hand.

“Ah…!”

She let out a small cry under the forceful grip. That confirmed it.

This wasn’t a hallucination or a voice in his head.

It was Ines. The woman who had used some unknown method—something he’d never understand—to escape the mansion once again.

Words were unnecessary. The rain poured down, and the madness that had haunted Rayan for twelve years, the madness from that tragic day, began to awaken.

Bang.

The door of the luxury inn slammed open like it was about to break. Rayan roughly pushed Ines into the room.

The moment he saw her appear in a place she absolutely should not be, something inside him snapped.

“I’ve been thinking about everything the wrong way. Ines.”

Rayan untied the string of his robe with angry hands.

“Edgar wasn’t the problem.”

The problem was this woman.

The constant thorn in his side who refused to stay in the place he had assigned her.

He should’ve tamed her before getting rid of Edgar.

Ines was shoved hard against the wall. A harsh voice poured down on her.

“Did my words not sound real to you? I told you clearly that day—this is not a place you’re allowed to come.”

A blinding rage surged up.

How dare you come here?

This wasn’t a cemetery someone like her should even step foot in. Just as he was about to spit those words—

Ines suddenly raised her head.

“Why do I have to get your permission for everything?”

“What?”

“I decide where I want to go. Just like any ordinary person would.”

What Rayan didn’t know was that he wasn’t the only one at his breaking point today.

Ines had exploded the moment she saw him.

“I’ve held back for a long time.”

She raised her voice. It was the first time she had ever yelled at him like this.

“I’m not some pet you’re raising. And it’s not because I liked the mansion that I kept quiet all this time.”

“…”

“I stayed quiet only because I trusted you…”

But what did you do to me?

Ines clenched her fists to hold back her emotions. She barely managed a steady voice.

“I came because I had a question. When I asked the staff, they said you wouldn’t be back all week. I’ll leave if you just give me an answer.”

“Oh, I see. So now you just come and go as you please.”

He let out a short laugh, but his face quickly turned cold. He growled as he boxed her in with his body.

“Fine. Ask away. I’m curious too—what could possibly be so important that you came all the way here through the rain?”

“You never intended to keep your promise to me, did you?”

Ines shot back before he finished speaking. Her voice trembled despite her best efforts.

“You knew people were treating me like your mistress, didn’t you?”

“…”

“And you knew how Aunt Kyra treats me too, didn’t you?”

He had to know. Even if he was often away, he was still the master of that house.

The anger she’d suppressed under the words “I love you” all burst out at once. Ines glared at him, her eyes bloodshot.

“That day… You did it on purpose, didn’t you?”

Her vision blurred.

Thinking about what happened on the balcony made her want to die of shame and humiliation.

Not knowing someone outside could hear, she wanted to rip her mouth open for making such sounds.

She would never be able to look into the kind, warm, summery eyes of that man again.

Everything was too much for her. Her mind went blank. Her heart pounded like it would explode.

“You knew someone could hear. And you still… made sure they did.”

“…”

“You just wanted to show them I was nothing but a toy you could use however you wanted. You didn’t care what I thought, did you? Why?”

“Ines Eleanor.”

“Because I’m not human? Because I’m low-born? Fine. I know that. But…”

She had spoken too much at once—her breath was short, and her head spun.

“But you said you’d change things. That you had the power to. That this was your country… Was that all a lie from the start?”

Rayan twisted his lips as he looked down at her panting.

“What if it was?”

She was speechless. Ines stared at him, stunned.

She didn’t expect the answer to come so easily.

“What if I only said that because I needed you? Because I had to keep you by my side. Does that make you feel better?”

As always when swept up in overwhelming emotions, Rayan attacked her with ruthless words.

“If you hadn’t done all that pointless stuff, maybe I would’ve kept our promise. Don’t you think?”

“What did I do wrong…?”

Ines desperately searched her memory. But no matter how hard she thought, she couldn’t figure out what she had done wrong.

Every time Rayan had reacted harshly floated to the surface.

When she said she wanted to go outside.
When she had a short meeting with Edgar.
When she sent a letter to the Kingdom of Apael…

But none of those things had a clear connection. If there was one thing they had in common—it was that every time she tried to do something on her own, he didn’t like it.

“I’m not a doll.”

Ines moved her lips.

“If I’d known from the start that you thought everything I did was wrong… I wouldn’t have come to Eleanor.”

She didn’t know it, but those were the exact words that hit Rayan the hardest.

From the moment he returned from the expedition and saw Edgar in his house, the unease and irritation had been building. Now, with the memories of that tragic third week of September, his madness reached a breaking point.

Rayan’s mouth twisted in a cruel smile.

“Oh, so you think you have the right to act on your own? Because you’re a person and not a doll?”

Ridiculous. Ines didn’t need anything else. Him. His mansion. His wealth. His people. That was enough.

Wanting more beyond that was greedy and arrogant. Rayan easily pressed down the arm that tried to push him away.

“You already got everything you wanted—a safe place, good food, fancy clothes. If anything was missing, say it.”

Ines bit her lip so hard it turned white. The man laughed at her reaction.

“Nothing, right? And you won’t be lacking those things ever again. As long as you stay with me.”

That’s not what I wanted. She wanted to say it, but her lips wouldn’t move.

A place to stay. Food. Clothes. Yes, she had needed those things desperately.

But hearing him list them out made it sound like she was just a shallow woman clinging to a noble family for money.

Rayan spat out his words like venom.

“So just enjoy all of that quietly. Live like you’re barely even there. Is that so hard?”

“…”

“I don’t see why you need other men I haven’t approved. Or why you need to step into a world I didn’t allow you into.”

Ines’s lips parted, but no words came out for a long time. Rayan studied her face closely, feeling both nervous and satisfied.

Maybe he had gone too far with someone so delicate, but that small regret was quickly replaced by the relief of finally shutting her up.

Besides, nothing he said was wrong. He gripped her chin harder.

And if she kept trying to run away even when he treated her kindly, then there was no reason to be gentle.

Yes. That was the answer. The madness that seemed to fade burst into flames again.

“You mentioned Aunt Kyra earlier.”

It was easy to break a woman.

“She must’ve said something harsh to you. But it can’t be helped, Ines. I can’t control how she feels.”

“…What?”

“She probably won’t ever accept you. Just like the rest of Eleanor. If it were me, I’d at least try to win them over.”

“…”

“You keep disobeying my orders, not knowing your place. Why would Eleanor welcome you?”

Ines couldn’t speak anymore. The hot questions stuck in her throat, and all the things she wanted to say swirled around in her head.

Do you think I never tried? I didn’t just sit there hoping they’d like me. I wanted to do something too.

But you hated even that.

“Ugh…”

Finally, the tears burst. The clear drops that had filled her blue eyes fell before they even touched her cheeks.

“…”

Through her blurred vision, she saw his expression harden. He cursed softly and wiped her eyes with the back of his hand.

“Damn it, don’t cry.”

Even in those few words, his teeth ground together.

Ines lowered her head. She couldn’t look at him anymore.

Now she was sure.

Rayan Eleanor did not love her. On the contrary—
He…

It had been quite a while since she’d been locked in the room.

Rayan acted like he couldn’t keep her in Laika for even a second, yet paradoxically, he locked her up in an inn inside Laika.

If he’d just treated her coldly and never came looking for her, she could’ve hated him in peace. But instead, he stayed by her side nearly all day.

He had even delayed the departure of the Torgen expedition again, and he practically abandoned all duties at the Grand Duchy.

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