It's Too Late for Regrets - Chapter 12.1

The moment their lips touched was very short, but even after she pulled away, Rayan couldn’t move a single finger. Her hand was still resting on his cheek.

 

They were too close. Reflected in her blue eyes, he looked like a boy who had just been kissed by a girl he liked for the first time—stunned and wide-eyed.

 

Maybe that look of his was funny. A faint smile curved Ines’s lips.

 

She gently patted his cheek and asked,
“Why do you look like that? Are you afraid I won’t come back?”

 

“…”

 

“I’m just going to meet a friend and take care of something, then I’ll come back. These are normal things ordinary people do.”

 

Her small, soft whisper seemed to have some kind of magic that enchanted him.
Those red lips that moved slightly, her calm, coaxing voice—they were so sweet that he wanted to believe everything she said without question.

 

Ah, if only that could really happen. Rayan swallowed a sigh and asked in a husky voice,
“You won’t be too late, right?”

 

“I’m having dinner with Caesar, so I won’t be late. Just about three hours.”

 

“Three hours…”

 

“You’re not seriously thinking about assigning someone to follow me over this, right, Rayan?”

 

A soft curve formed in Ines’s eyes as she brushed her thumb over his lips.

 

For almost a whole month, which seemed peaceful on the surface, Rayan had spent most of his time by her side. And when he wasn’t with her, he always had someone escort her and report her every move.

 

She must’ve noticed it long ago.

 

Instead of replying, Rayan wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her close. The innocence he had just shown vanished in an instant as he returned to being a rough and dominant man, and he leaned in to kiss her.

 

His kiss wasn’t light or brief like Ines’s had been.

 

“…!”

 

Ines was startled by the feeling of him sucking on her lower lip with heat.

 

She hadn’t meant to allow something this intense. But before she could even resist, her chin was held firmly and her lips parted.

 

For someone who only ever kissed her, he was incredibly skilled. Ines’s eyelashes trembled but soon lowered.

 

Even so, perhaps aware it was daytime and a child was nearby, he didn’t go too far.
His kiss stopped at brushing the inside of her lips, their tongues lightly touching and moving together.

 

“…”

 

He breathed out a rushed breath as he looked into Ines’s slowly blinking eyes.

 

“You promised you’d be back before dinner.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Don’t disappear after making me feel this way.”

 

Only after hearing her promise several more times did Rayan finally raise his head. He wiped away the wet trace below Ines’s lips with his thumb.

 

“I won’t order you to report back, but take an escort. It’s not because I want to spy on you—it’s because I’m worried.”

 

“…Okay.”

 

“And don’t do what you just did with Edgar.”

 

“How could I dare do that to His Majesty…”

 

“If he tries to kiss you, back away. Understand?”

 

His words mixed with both worry and possessiveness. Though he just blurted things out, Ines answered him patiently.

 

“There’s no way that would happen, but yes, I understand.”

 

“Just don’t take off your hat. Don’t let anyone see your face.”

 

“Got it, so please go read to Caesar. I’m going to ask him later what you two did.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Now go.”

 

Rayan reluctantly turned away as she pushed him, but he didn’t leave right away.

 

Caesar looked back and forth between his mother walking away and his father who couldn’t take his eyes off her.

 

“Father? What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

 

“Huh? No, not at all.”

 

“You look sick. Your ears are red.”

 

Caesar’s small hand gently touched his forehead. After feeling that their temperatures weren’t so different, the boy quietly stared into his father’s eyes.

 

Lately, Caesar would often smile brightly, but then stare seriously at his father or mother.

 

“You have a fever…”

 

“I told you, I don’t.”

 

Rayan’s lips curved at his son’s sweet concern. He gently pinched Caesar’s soft cheek.

 

“It’s not that, Caesar. It’s just…”

 

“Just?”

 

“It’s just… your mom makes my heart flutter.”

 

Had he ever felt so alive like he did these days?

 

Rayan still suffered from insomnia and occasional bouts of madness. It was to be expected. For someone swallowed by darkness, the only ends were death or madness—whichever came first.

 

Thanks to his naturally strong body, the side effects were leaning toward the latter for now.

 

Even while enjoying a peaceful month he’d never imagined, whenever he felt a strange sense of unease from Ines, he was overtaken by a desire to break her.

 

Especially on Wednesdays when she went to meet Edgar.

 

He wanted to kiss her roughly, to train her so she couldn’t even think about stopping him until she begged.

 

Just like before. The way he was good at. Rayan had always been good at conquering whatever stood before him.

 

When he was consumed by those dark thoughts, there were only two things that could bring him back to normal—until just a few minutes ago.

 

Killing or pain.

 

Since this wasn’t a battlefield and there was no one here he could justify killing, the first option was useless. Naturally, he’d relied on the second for the past few months.

 

But when Ines came to him on her own like just now, it worked even better than either method.

 

The brief taste of her warm, soft lips and the sweet flavor inside still lingered on his tongue.

 

Rayan touched his own lips, smiled faintly, and hugged his son tightly.

 

“I feel so happy I don’t know what to do, Caesar.”

 

“…”

 

“Your mom is so beautiful I think I’m going crazy.”

 

He wished someone could stop time right then. Even if he had to live the same month over and over for the rest of his life, it felt like there could be no greater blessing.

 

Could they stay this happy forever?

 

If Ines just stayed by his side, maybe he could live like a normal person at least until Caesar grew up.

 

If he stopped using Kian, maybe he could last even longer.

 

Since last fall, Rayan had mostly given up on living a normal life. He had already let go of the idea of dying of old age.

 

But if Ines would just stay beside him like this, if one day she would look at him again with those loving eyes from the past…

 

Then maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad to try living a little longer.

 

“Let’s go home and read, Caesar.”

 

Rayan got on the carriage with the child in his arms. As Ines had asked, he planned to read to Caesar and put him down for a nap before coming back here right away.

 

She was alone at the cathedral, a place that might stir her memories, and today she was meeting Edgar. He had no intention of just waiting quietly at the mansion.

 

Soon, Eleanor’s carriage with the rose emblem rolled through the streets.

 

 

Andrea, the High Priest, looked at the woman who now regularly visited the cathedral with curious eyes.

 

Rumors had already spread across Randeva that the Duke—who had seemed like he would mourn his late wife forever—had a new woman in his life. The reason was that the two had often been seen together at restaurants, theaters, and dress shops in the bustling parts of town.

 

But because the Duke protected her so closely and she always covered her face with a hat or veil, hardly anyone had seen the mysterious woman’s face.

 

Even if she had shown it, no one would have recognized her right away. During her lifetime, the Duchess had lived almost like a recluse in the Grand Duchy, and nobody knew her personally.

 

Still, judging from an old portrait that had once circulated throughout Lezan, rumors spread that the Duke’s new woman looked a lot like the late Duchess.

 

Witness accounts of the two often became the talk of the nobility. After mass, young ladies would pair up as they left the cathedral, chattering about the Duke and the unknown woman.

 

More specifically, about how much the Duke adored her and how obsessed he seemed.

 

“I never knew he could smile so softly like that.”
“I saw them the other day on the street, and he never let her get more than two steps away. It actually looked like she was the one not very interested…”

 

Aside from the fact that the woman seemed oddly indifferent, they looked very much like a loving couple—or a family.

 

Even Andrea, who rarely appeared outside the cathedral, knew that the Duke personally escorted her to La Celia every time.

 

Just a few hours ago, he had seen the Duke passionately kissing her beneath the window.

 

Andrea glanced out the window again.

 

Even after quite some time had passed, Eleanor’s carriage with the red rose emblem was still parked just beyond the cathedral’s main gate.

 

What in the cathedral could possibly threaten her enough to make him react like that?

 

Does he really hate it that much when she receives a priest’s blessing?

 

Ines had received Andrea’s blessing eight times.

 

Though the priest’s power alone couldn’t erase the fog of forgetfulness, it helped fill her with divine breath, restore her life force, and clear her mind.

 

Still, after receiving the blessing, Ines’s expression would always darken. It seemed the memories slowly coming back weren’t pleasant.

 

But since last week, even that reaction had completely vanished.

 

These days, Andrea couldn’t read anything from the graceful and fragile woman once known as the Duchess.