It's Too Late for Regrets - Chapter 11.4

In truth, Rayan wasn’t tending to the fields or anything like that. He wanted to remove everything in the mansion that might trigger Ines’s memories.

He had a strong desire to completely change the interior of the house. It resembled the duchy mansion too much—the layout and decor were all too similar.
Though he didn’t show it, Ines had clearly remembered something when she was comforting Caesar earlier.
The longer she stayed in Eleanor, the more pieces of the past would come back to her.
It would be impossible to completely avoid that day.
He could easily command Kian to cast the Mist of Forgetting over her again. In fact, he had thought about doing just that right after lying to her…

But Rayan didn’t have the courage to tell her the truth with his own mouth, and even more so, he didn’t have it in him to commit another sin.
So what he was doing now was merely like placing a thin layer of cloth over a cracked vase.
Still, if this could delay things even by a few months… then it was worth trying.
Rayan clenched both fists tightly.

“I won’t say it three times. Finish the cleanup by today.”

Caesar’s room was right next to the Grand Duke’s bedroom.
In her memories, Ines and Caesar had always stayed one floor above where the Grand Duke’s study and bedroom were. The sudden closeness of the rooms felt strange.
But Rayan didn’t seem particularly satisfied.
After escorting them to the room, he had disappeared somewhere, only to return just as Ines finished her bath with Berry’s help—perfectly timed.

However, he didn’t come inside. He just watched her from a distance for a long while and then finally spoke.
“…Can we share the room?”

Ines turned to look at him in disbelief, her hair still damp.
Rayan stood in front of the child’s room, hands stuffed in his pockets.

“Share what? You mean the bedroom?”
“Yeah.”

The answer came quickly.
No wonder—he had looked displeased ever since reuniting with Robert, Berry, and Kian. So this was what had been on his mind?
Ines gave a dry laugh, laid Caesar on the bed, and pulled the covers over him.

“You’ve always made the child sleep alone. Why now?”
“He didn’t sleep alone, Ines.”
“….”
“When I was at the mansion, he always slept with me.”

Ines’s hand paused, though her eyes stayed fixed on Caesar.
Since she didn’t react positively, Rayan’s boldness quickly faded like a sandcastle washed away by waves.

“…Of course, if you don’t want to.”
Even as he said that, he couldn’t bring himself to turn away.
There was a trace of the same desperation in his eyes that she had seen in the forest of Rosram.

Ines and the bed with the canopy—this combination still vividly brought back trauma for Rayan.
When she was out of his sight, he felt grateful she was alive. But once she was in his domain, the relief was replaced by anxiety.
He didn’t want to look away for even a second.

He had asked her not to do things she didn’t want, so he knew he shouldn’t push her. But…
Rayan still struggled with even such basic boundaries.

Before his shadow could completely fall over her, he dropped to one knee by the bed.
He gently took hold of her calf that hung over the edge and removed her indoor slipper with his other hand, placing it neatly beside the bed.

“….”
Ines stayed silent, feeling his breath against her knee.

His breath is hot.

His cheek and lips against her skin were unnaturally warm.
She cupped his chin and lifted his face toward her. When she brushed away the silver hair on his forehead and laid her palm there, Rayan’s eyes widened slightly.

After a brief silence, she opened her lips.
“You seem to have a fever.”
“Really?”

Rayan answered reflexively, as if he wasn’t sure what she had just said.
Ines rested her palm there for a moment, feeling the heat. Even accounting for her own cool body temperature, he was definitely running hot.

“Did you get treatment?”
“Sort of.”

Her gaze wandered to his right shoulder, hidden under his shirt.
Rayan tensed without realizing it.
Whenever he couldn’t read her thoughts, he found himself anxious like this.

Her lips, now more vibrant than a few days ago, parted slowly.
“What did Robert say?”
“Huh?”

Rayan, knowing he’d sound like a fool, still asked again. Surprisingly, she didn’t let it go and pronounced each word clearly.
“What did Robert say about your shoulder? Did he say your muscle was torn?”
“My shoulder… Ah, he just said it’s fine.”
“Clearly. Tell me exactly what he said.”
“…He said once the wound heals, we’ll need to check if the tendon is damaged.”
“And the inflammation?”
“He said it’s not a big deal… Yeah. Since it’s swollen and warm, he said we’ll need to keep an eye on it.”

Rayan licked his dry lips as he felt her hand slip inside the front of his shirt.
Ines uncovered the black cloth to reveal a bandage, much neater than the one she had hastily tied a few days ago.
Her eyes moved down to his right hand.

“…That hand. Did you do that too?”
“My hand…”

Rayan looked at his right hand in slight confusion.
Unnoticed, a cut on his palm had reopened. He had applied herbs and wrapped it in a bandage.
He had made those cuts to snap himself out of it when he first heard of Edgar’s engagement.

And the burn underneath—when had he gotten that again?
He racked his brain before remembering it had happened the day Ines’s body disappeared.
That horrible night… had he been holding a candlestick?

“…I don’t know if you realize this, Rayan.”
She moved her hand from his chin to the back of his hand.
“But your looks are quite a weapon.”
“….”
“So don’t do things like this.”

Rayan didn’t understand what exactly she meant, but he couldn’t stop a small laugh from escaping.
“So I still have something left.”

He kissed her pale, slender fingers, the back of her hand, her palm, even the hollow between her wrist bones.

Ines looked at him quietly, then slowly spoke.
“You stayed wet for a while, too. Maybe it’s just the start of a cold.”
“Mm… If you say so, then maybe.”
“In that case, we shouldn’t be sharing a bedroom.”
“…Huh?”

Rayan nodded like he could only agree with her, then suddenly paused.
“You might give Caesar your cold.”

Though it was phrased as concern for the child, it was still a rejection—and one he had no way to argue against.

“…Then I’ll just watch you sleep. I won’t lie next to you.”

Ines didn’t reply. She only looked at him.
It seemed she had figured out that silence, rather than outright refusal, was more effective with him.
When she gave him that piercing look, he had no choice but to back down. Rayan finally muttered reluctantly,

“Okay. Then just let me tuck you in.”

Afraid of getting the same look again, he quickly turned his thoughts into action.
He rose to his feet and lifted her up in one motion.
His neatly bandaged shoulder throbbed, but he didn’t care. He laid her gently under the blanket.
He then handed her the sleeping child, still peacefully dozing. As he always did, he kissed Caesar’s cheek when laying him down, and then hesitated.

…Will she be upset?
He wrestled with the thought, but his lips were already brushing her cheek.

Their eyes met at a very close distance. Rayan boldly stroked her cheek and whispered softly,
“What do you want to do tomorrow?”
“…What does Caesar usually play with?”
“Lately he’s been begging to go hunting. Oh, and he said he wanted to build a house for the squirrel we caught at the hunting ground. Want to visit the workshop with me?”
“…Okay, sure.”
“The workshop is near the city center, so we can get you and Caesar some summer clothes while we’re out.”
“If we go to the city, rumors will spread.”
“What kind of rumors?”
“That the name-only Grand Duchess of Eleanor is back. Or maybe, that the Grand Duke found a woman who looks shockingly like his dead wife.”
“If I hear people gossiping about you…”

Rayan kissed each of her ten fingers one by one and whispered sweetly,
“I’ll rip out all their tongues, so don’t worry.”

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