It's Too Late for Regrets - Chapter 10.8

It couldn’t have been just a coincidence.

 

Ines whispered the name that had come back to her memory.

 

“Kian.”

 

A familiar name, yet one that had long eaten away at her life, spread into the cold air along with a pale breath.

 

She pressed her left chest with her palm. But her heartbeat remained calm.

 

The heavy pain, like thick chains strangling her organs, had disappeared without a trace. In its place, a cold chill spread through her veins.

 

Relief and confusion hit her at the same time.

 

‘Should I be glad that I’m not suddenly dying?’

 

If Kian had returned before the sorcerers awakened their powers, she would have surely had to give up her heart again without any resistance.

 

But that didn’t happen. And maybe, just maybe, she had the power to protect herself now. That meant something.

 

Ines lowered her head and kept thinking.

 

Now that she remembered Kian, her memories of the past began to flow back as well.

 

Until now, she had only known about her life in Jenaire from what others said. But now it came back vividly.

 

Her grandfather, the Emperor of Jenaire, who looked at her like she was an insect. And the last order he gave before sending her to Lezan.

 

“Men are all the same. They’re helpless in front of a skilled woman.”

 

She closed her eyes, trying to recall her first meeting with the Grand Duke.

 

Could it be that she was the one who seduced him first?

 

“You do look good. Much better than before.”
“Do you have anything else to say?”

 

In her memory, the Grand Duke grabbed her shoulder and helped her up.

 

As she awkwardly straightened her body and blinked once—

 

He suddenly closed the distance and devoured her lips.

 

“….”

 

Hot, wet, and soft—his tongue had ruthlessly invaded her sensitive mouth.

 

She remembered the raw desire he had then, clear as day.

 

And herself, completely overwhelmed, unable to do anything but squeeze her eyes shut.

 

It felt like that sensation still lingered on her lips. Ines instinctively touched them.

 

“…I don’t think I was the one who seduced him.”

 

Even the last time they sat together at the flower shop, his behavior seemed more like that of a man doing the seducing.

 

Once her thoughts started branching out, they wouldn’t stop.

 

She remembered the darkness that had tried to return to her earlier in the clearing, only to be pulled into Rayan’s sleeve.

 

‘Did I die and Kian move into the Grand Duke?’

 

So is Kian now living, parasitically, in his heart?

 

Then his lifespan must have shortened somewhat.

 

Is that okay? That man…

 

‘Ah.’

 

Ines suddenly realized something in the middle of her thoughts.

 

Her mind was completely filled with him. Every memory led back to his name.

 

As soon as she noticed, her heart started pounding and her face flushed. She blinked in disbelief.

 

‘What am I…?’

 

Could it be that she was… worrying about him?

 

She shivered. She knew better than to let herself fall for him again!

 

Ines quickly tore off the green cloak that was wrapped around her. It landed messily on the floor.

 

She stepped off the bed where he had laid her and stood barefoot on the cold floor.

 

Only after huddling into a far, cold corner away from the fireplace did the heat that had risen like a lie finally settle down.

 

Narrow and hidden places always felt more comfortable.

 

It was a habit from her childhood in the imperial palace.

 

Though she didn’t realize it, it was also a habit from the Grand Duke’s mansion, where she always tried to stay out of sight.

 

‘Don’t get swept away. Don’t let your heart weaken.’

 

She calmed her breathing and thought of someone more important.

 

‘Is Caesar really okay…?’

 

She still hadn’t regained the memory of giving birth. But since memories were slowly returning, maybe something would come back when she saw her child again.

 

As Ines tried to calm herself by picturing Caesar’s face—

 

The cabin door suddenly burst open.

 

“…!”

 

At the sound of heavy footsteps, her mind went blank.

 

It was him.

 

“…?”

 

Rayan was surprised by the cold air as soon as he stepped inside.

 

His heart dropped when he saw the empty bed, but then he spotted Ines curled up in a corner.

 

He asked, startled.

 

“Why… are you sitting there?”

 

She had her head buried in her knees with her arms wrapped around them. She must’ve heard the door, but didn’t move.

 

He quickly rushed to her.

 

“Ines, what’s wrong? Are you sick?”

 

The fire had completely gone out. Only a few weak embers remained. The untouched firewood showed she hadn’t even tried to light it.

 

Rayan’s thoughts turned dark. Without a second thought, he knelt in front of her.

 

“The air is freezing. Lift your head, okay?”

 

When he carefully touched her arm, it was so cold it didn’t feel alive. And it was thin enough to be completely held in one of his hands.

 

Feeling her unnaturally thin arm sent chills down his spine.

 

He had clearly left her alone for too long.

 

He should’ve come back sooner. But like a fool, he wasted time over useless thoughts and left her alone until she turned this cold.

 

His voice shook badly.

 

“Why won’t you answer? Just say something… please.”

 

Worried she might not even be breathing, he brought his ear close to her.

 

Thank God—he heard the faint sound of her breathing.

 

Still, he couldn’t relax. Just as he was about to lift her head, her weak voice came out.

 

“…yo.”

 

“I-I didn’t catch that. Look up. Just a little louder…”

 

“Let go.”

 

He heard her quiet voice but was left speechless.

 

While he hesitated, she spoke again, her words clearer.

 

“I said, let go.”

 

“….”

 

“Don’t touch me. Don’t come near.”

 

“Ines—”

 

“Don’t say my name.”

 

She still didn’t lift her head, her face buried in her knees.

 

‘Did she get scared from suddenly coming back?’

 

It made sense. It had only been two years since she woke up in Celia Irope’s body.

 

Just when she was finally adjusting to the new body, she was abruptly returned to her original one. She probably couldn’t process it.

 

But then a more serious thought came to him. Rayan froze with dread.

 

‘Don’t tell me… her memories came back.’

 

It would’ve been less horrible if she had just married Edgar.

 

He knew it well.

 

If Ines regained all her memories, she’d hate him more than ever before.

 

The things he’d done to her couldn’t be forgiven.

 

He had never treated her like a person. He only came to her when he needed her, and ignored or mocked her the rest of the time.

 

He’d humiliated her without caring about her pride or dignity…

 

If she remembered all that…

 

Rayan’s face turned pale. Even now, he was desperate just to meet her eyes—if she remembered everything…

 

“You’re not deaf, are you?”

 

Ines’ voice grew sharper, thinking his silence was him ignoring her.

 

“Leave me alone. Just for a little while.”

 

“…Okay. Okay, but…”

 

He knew he should step away before making things worse. But his body wouldn’t move.

 

Rayan couldn’t take his eyes off her small, hunched figure.

 

Her thin arms hugging her legs were trembling. Seeing her clothes still damp made his heart drop.

 

The white chemise dress she wore—he had ordered it for her himself, of the finest quality.

 

But lace and frills were no good for warmth.

 

The cloak he gave her lay crumpled under the bed.

 

Rayan suddenly stood and rushed to the fireplace. He stuffed in all the firewood he could, and the small embers quickly grew.

 

Soon the flames blazed and warmed the air.

 

‘Not yet…’

 

He watched her nervously from afar. The cabin warmed quickly, but she still trembled.

 

Of course she did. Her clothes were wet.

 

Eventually, Rayan picked up the cloak from the floor.

 

“Ines.”

 

“….”

 

“If you don’t want to change, at least wear the cloak. You might catch a cold like this.”

 

He tried to hide his presence so as not to startle her, but her sharp senses noticed.

 

For the first time, she raised her head.

 

Rayan blankly met her blue eyes, staring directly at him.

 

“I said leave it. Don’t you hear me? Is my voice a joke to you?”

 

She said something, but he couldn’t hear it well.

 

His heart, which hadn’t moved at all when Celia was in that body, now pounded wildly. It had been so long since they looked into each other’s eyes, so long since he heard her voice.

 

But now wasn’t the time to lose focus. He forced himself to speak calmly.

 

“No. You need it. It’s cold.”

 

What if she got a fever? Or started coughing?

 

He took a step forward, planning to force her into the cloak if he had to.

 

But the moment his shadow fell over her, she flinched and backed deeper into the corner.

 

His lips closed helplessly.

 

It wasn’t just the cold that made her tremble.

 

Rayan stopped in place, realizing this.

 

Was it confusion from suddenly being back in her old body? Cold from the floor and the walls?

 

No. None of that.

 

She was afraid of him.

 

He had known that but his eyes still burned.