Irreversible - Chapter 39

Chapter 39: A Pitiful Scoundrel (Part 4)

Gu Xizhou was an intelligent person; if she truly wanted to build a relationship with someone, there was almost no one she couldn’t win over.

Throughout three years of university, Gu Xizhou and Su Zhiyi maintained the closest of friendships, yet they remained in a state of ambiguity regarding “romance”—sometimes close, sometimes distant.

The more closely she interacted with Su Zhiyi, the more Gu Xizhou understood that the girl was an independent individual entirely different from Su Nanfeng. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, she would even wonder: was what she was doing truly necessary? She had already escaped Su Nanfeng and helped many children who were once like her; could she still not walk out from the darkness of her youth?

She asked herself this over and over, and the answer was always “No.”

Su Nanfeng had to pay the price.

Her occasional hesitation and concern kept Su Zhiyi from choosing to get closer to her. The two interacted as best friends, and during this time, they both rejected many suitors, maintaining a situation where both remained single.

In the summer of their junior year, Gu Xizhou and Su Zhiyi returned to Star City together to find a hospital for a clinical internship. Su Zhiyi wanted to understand the hidden market demands for medical equipment at the grassroots level, while Gu Xizhou wanted to lay the foundation for her future career.

By then, Gu Xizhou had long been an adult. She had moved out of her family home and found a place near the hospital for the summer. Su Zhiyi moved into a private apartment nearby. Since they were headed in the same direction, Gu Xizhou would sometimes walk her home.

One night, after Gu Xizhou dropped Su Zhiyi off at her apartment building and turned to leave, Su Zhiyi stepped out of the elevator and heard a sharp, wretched sound of crying and smashing. Along with the wailing came a man’s drunken cursing: “You b!tch!”

“You’re a fcking b!tch!”

“Approaching every Alpha you see—do you think I’m dead?!”

Su Zhiyi stopped in her tracks instantly. She instinctively pulled out her phone and called Gu Xizhou. The call connected in a second, and the woman’s crisp voice came through: “What’s wrong? Is something else up?”

Hearing the faint crying, Su Zhiyi’s tone was hesitant: “The neighbor opposite me… it sounds like someone is being violent toward their partner.”

Gu Xizhou understood the reason for the distress call immediately and comforted her: “Don’t worry, I’ll be there right away.” She immediately turned back toward the apartment, saying as she walked, “Don’t go over to check by yourself yet. Ensure your own safety, do you hear me?”

“Mhm.”

Su Zhiyi agreed, but after hanging up, the commotion from across the hall made her feel increasingly uneasy. She listened to the tragic sounds carried through the air and, after a moment of hesitation, mustered the courage to step forward and ring the doorbell.

The doorbell rang for a while before the noise inside finally stopped. A moment later, the door clicked open, and a drunken man walked out. Seeing Su Zhiyi, his thick, coarse eyebrows shot up. He straightened his thin, reed-like frame and barked, “Who are you looking for?!”

Su Zhiyi instinctively backed up two steps, knitting her brows seriously. “Are you committing violence against someone else?”

The question was naive and scholarly. The man’s long brows twitched, and he turned to roar at the woman sobbing on the floor inside: “B!tch, someone’s here to stand up for you.”

Su Zhiyi’s brow darkened. Clutching her phone, she said coldly, “Hitting people is illegal. I’ve called the police!”

The man’s expression turned impatient. He waved a hand at Su Zhiyi dismissively, shouting, “Who do you think you are? I’m beating my wife behind closed doors—what the fck does it have to do with you?”

“A little girl like you should mind her own business.”

As he spoke, his drunken body lurched toward Su Zhiyi. She tensed up instantly, but before the man could get close, a familiar voice rang out: “Zhiyi…”

Su Zhiyi whipped her head around to see Gu Xizhou charging out of the elevator, running toward her like a little projectile. A second before the man touched Su Zhiyi, Gu Xizhou grabbed her, yanked her behind her back, and simultaneously kicked the man in the waist.

With a muffled thud, the already incoherent man fell face-first onto the ground.

Su Zhiyi gasped. Gu Xizhou gripped her hand and glanced back at her, a lingering ferocity in her eyes: “I told you to wait for me! What were you doing?!”

Su Zhiyi had never seen her look like this. It was completely different from her usual gentle and mild-mannered self—it was a totally different person. It seemed this Gu Xizhou was the real one.

The concern and blame in her eyes were so obvious that Su Zhiyi’s heart skipped a beat. She was about to say something when the man on the ground staggered to his feet, cursing and swinging a fist at Gu Xizhou: “You’re fcking dead!”

Gu Xizhou reached out, caught his fist, yanked him forward, and kicked him in the backside. She twisted his arm behind him and pinned him under her foot. While holding down the swearing drunkard, Gu Xizhou released her pheromones to suppress him. She looked up at the nearby Su Zhiyi and said, “What are you dazing for? Call the police!”

Su Zhiyi snapped back to reality and quickly dialed the police. Officers arrived soon after and took everyone to the station.

The ordeal lasted until the early hours of the morning. At the station, the drunkard was still shouting, claiming he was just disciplining his wife at home and that they were meddling busybodies who started the fight. His beaten wife sat to the side, her face and body covered in bruises. Su Zhiyi sat beside the woman, gently advising her that if she needed to file a lawsuit or do a medical forensic exam, she could provide help.

It seemed that as long as the word “school” or “home” was attached to violence, it became a matter where “if the people don’t report it, the officials don’t investigate.” Even at the station, the police focused primarily on the fact that Gu Xizhou had hit someone, and hardly questioned if the man was domestic abusing his partner. The man kept yelling that he had no grudge against the girls and that they had attacked him, insisting Gu Xizhou pay for his medical expenses.

Gu Xizhou ignored his unreasonable behavior and calmly stated her case: “I saw this man attempting to assault my friend while intoxicated. I acted out of self-defense. If you don’t believe me, you can check the surveillance.”

She didn’t mention the domestic abuse at all; she stuck strictly to the facts of the encounter and maintained a cooperative attitude. The statement lasted until 1:00 AM before it finally concluded. Because she was the one who initiated the physical fight, she still had to pay the man 1,000 yuan in medical fees for the private settlement.

Of course, Su Zhiyi paid that money.

It was a losing bargain. As they left the station, Su Zhiyi looked deeply guilt-ridden. “I’m sorry, Gu Xizhou. I caused you trouble.”

In truth, during their three years together, they had encountered similar troubles many times. Gu Xizhou had regained her composure; she rubbed her face and looked at Su Zhiyi. “It’s fine.”

Her tone was light, and her eyes had returned to their usual gentleness. “Come on, I’ll take you home first.”

“Okay.”

After such an event, Gu Xizhou didn’t dare let Su Zhiyi stay alone that night. Su Zhiyi also felt it was too late; even as an Alpha, it would be inconvenient for Gu Xizhou to go back alone, so she let her stay over.

Once the decision was made, Gu Xizhou belatedly realized she was paying far too much attention to Su Zhiyi. This had deviated significantly from her original plan—it was entirely different from what she had expected.

Especially the moment she finished her shower and changed into Su Zhiyi’s pajamas, Gu Xizhou had a sudden urge to run away. Maybe I should just leave. Block all of Su Zhiyi’s contacts and never see her again. Su Nanfeng, Su Zhiyi—they can all go to hell. Everyone named Su should stay away from me. I’m going to live my own life.

Gu Xizhou made up her mind to put on her own clothes and bolt immediately. Unfortunately, the plan was better than the reality. The moment she stepped out of the bathroom, Su Zhiyi blocked her path. Facing that magnified, beautiful face, Gu Xizhou instinctively took a step back and asked with a stiff face, “What’s wrong?”

Su Zhiyi smiled with crinkled eyes and asked softly, “You must be hungry by now. I cooked some instant noodles; how about having some?”

Perhaps the bathroom light was too bright, but as Gu Xizhou looked up at that fair, delicate face, she felt like the girl was glowing. It was strange—they had similar features, yet she didn’t hate Su Zhiyi. Had she developed Stockholm Syndrome? To see this face one day and not feel like vomiting, but instead think it was beautiful.

That thought flickered briefly in her mind, but her stomach reacted faster than her brain. The scent of instant noodles drifted from the living room, and Gu Xizhou’s stomach let out an unfaithful growl.

Gu Xizhou’s face instantly flushed red. Su Zhiyi gave a kind smile and said softly, “See, I told you it was hungry. Go eat.”

Gu Xizhou: “…”

Looking at the gentleness in Su Zhiyi’s eyes, her temper vanished instantly. The night dismantled her will and eroded her resistance. Her dark obsessions and childhood wounds were temporarily suppressed by that smile. Gu Xizhou allowed herself to be weak and followed her heart, nodding: “Okay.”

I’ll eat a little.

Though she called it “instant noodles,” it was actually quite lavish. Although Su Zhiyi lived alone, someone delivered meals to her daily, and the fridge was always full. Su Zhiyi occasionally ate cup noodles, so the housekeeper had prepared a plate of braised beef in the fridge. Now, the braised beef belonged to Gu Xizhou; the bowl was covered in layers of meat.

Gu Xizhou knew the state of her fridge, so she didn’t waste words and started eating. Su Zhiyi ate a little too, then sat opposite her with her chin propped in her hands, watching her with a smile.

Gu Xizhou felt uncomfortable under her gaze and shot her a look, muttering, “What are you looking at me for? Eat your food.”

Su Zhiyi laughed. After a moment, she summoned her courage and spoke: “Gu Xizhou, can I ask you a question?”

Gu Xizhou, picking at the beef in her bowl, didn’t care much. “Sure, ask away.” Her expression was unguarded, looking entirely different from when she was hitting that man—she looked very innocent.

Su Zhiyi watched her face as her thoughts surged. This was a very important question. For the past two years, she had wanted to ask it but could never find a way to say it.

During the cold winter of their sophomore year, while she was staying up late in the library working on a PPT, Gu Xizhou had pushed open the glass door covered in snow. She pulled hot wontons out from her thick down jacket, her eyes sparkling as she said: “Here, from the shop in the old alley. They’re still hot. Homework is important, but you have to eat.”

The weather was freezing, but Su Zhiyi felt her heart was warm. She had wanted to ask then.

Last year during typhoon season, when the rain poured down suddenly, she and a group of people were trapped in the teaching building. Gu Xizhou braved the rain to bring umbrellas from the dorm. Because the water was so deep it turned the front of the building into an ocean, and Su Zhiyi happened to be wearing white shoes, Gu Xizhou carried her out on her back. While huddled on her back under the umbrella, Su Zhiyi had wanted to ask then.

And then last winter break, during her internship, she had to attend a social event and nearly got harassed after drinking too much. Gu Xizhou stopped the person and sent her home safely. Walking side-by-side on a midnight winter street, looking at Gu Xizhou’s thin shoulders, Su Zhiyi had wanted to ask then.

She wasn’t heartless, nor was she some saint without desires; of course she felt something. Sometimes she felt Gu Xizhou had feelings for her, but sometimes she wasn’t sure. She was afraid that once everything was out in the open, all she would get was an unpleasant, fruitless end. That would be terrible; it wasn’t what she wanted.

But repeatedly thinking about an unasked question like this seemed just as bad. It can’t go on like this, Su Zhiyi thought. Whatever the answer, she would need a long time to accept it.

Su Zhiyi quickly sorted her emotions. She took a deep breath, gazed at the woman before her, and asked the question that had troubled her for so long: “Gu Xizhou, are you a lesbian?”

Gu Xizhou, who was eating noodles, froze instantly. She looked up at Su Zhiyi, only to see the other girl blink and ask seriously again: “Though it’s presumptuous, I still want to ask: are you a lesbian?”

Gu Xizhou’s eyes widened. She lost her breath, and a noodle got stuck in her throat, making her choke.

“Cough, cough, cough, cough…”

She coughed violently, noodles spilling out in fragments. Gu Xizhou covered her mouth, frantically looking for water. Su Zhiyi looked apologetic and quickly handed her water, helping her drink it. She sat beside Gu Xizhou, patting her back to help her catch her breath, her tone full of guilt: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Gu Xizhou coughed until she felt her lungs might come out. After a long while, she finished the water and wiped the corners of her mouth with a tissue, finally calming down from the shock. She sat on the sofa, wiped away the physiological tears from her eyes, and looked at Su Zhiyi beside her with a complex expression. “Why on earth do you think I’m a lesbian?”

Wait… are you not?

Su Zhiyi processed this for a moment and answered carefully, “Because… aren’t you very supportive of same-sex love?”

Gu Xizhou took a deep breath and looked at Su Zhiyi with a complicated expression. “Supporting it doesn’t mean I am one. I’m straight!”

“I don’t like Alphas!”

In fact, the gender she hated most in the world was Alpha! No contest!

Su Zhiyi was dazed, but a hint of joy rose in her heart. She masked it by picking up her water glass, her ears turning red as she asked softly, “Then, do you mean you like Omegas?”

Gu Xizhou finally understood why Su Zhiyi sometimes seemed moved by her but managed to restrain herself so well. So the problem was here—she thought Gu Xizhou was a lesbian! Where did that idea come from? Could she have thought Gu Xizhou liked Su Nanfeng?

Ugh, Su Nanfeng can go die!

And Su Zhiyi… fine, she can just explode!

Gu Xizhou’s mind was a mess. She sorted her emotions, bit her lip, and softened her tone: “Omega or Beta is fine, but it can’t be an Alpha.”

Su Zhiyi instinctively asked, “Why can’t it be an Alpha?” Is Gu Xizhou actually very traditional?

Gu Xizhou thought for a moment and gave a half-true answer: “Because I was bullied by Alphas.”

“I’m not tall, and I was discriminated against by Alphas when I was in school.”

Su Zhiyi didn’t expect that answer. She tilted her head toward Gu Xizhou and gave her assessment seriously: “You’re tall enough. Actually, you’re perfect as you are.”

“It was their fault, not yours.”

Gu Xizhou gave an “Mhm” and picked up her chopsticks to continue eating.

Having received an unexpected answer, Su Zhiyi felt a little happy. She felt her heart finally settle. She was delighted and decided to press on: “Then, can I ask one more question?”

Gu Xizhou said casually, “Go ahead.”

Su Zhiyi bit her lip, her ears red as she asked in a small voice, “Then, what kind of Omegas or Betas do you like?”

Ambiguous periods are usually nice, but not for someone like Gu Xizhou—especially one who just learned she’d been misunderstood as liking Su Nanfeng for two years. Gu Xizhou was frustrated, her emotions difficult to control. She knew she shouldn’t take it out on Su Zhiyi, so she forced it down.

She struggled for a few seconds and finally, unable to hold back, looked up at Su Zhiyi and said irritably, “The fact that you’re asking this question… does it mean that despite me pursuing you for two years, you haven’t felt anything at all?”

Pursuing you for two years?

Haven’t felt anything at all?

Su Zhiyi’s brain frantically processed the information in that sentence, but unfortunately, it suffered an overload. Her face turned bright red in an instant.

Looking at the girl’s flushing pink cheeks, the resentment accumulated in Gu Xizhou’s heart vanished rapidly. She poked her noodles, took another bite, and continued eating with red ears and a sense of satisfaction.

Good. From today on, let Su Zhiyi be the one to agonize over it. Gu Xizhou was running away tomorrow.