If I Throw Myself into His Sea - Episode 1.6
“It wasn’t just a refusal, was it?”
“Yes, Irene-nim. So please don’t worry too much. They will come again next time.”
Foam-like lies colored Irene.
The master of the Deep Sea Palace had harshly rejected Irene’s proposal.
Therefore, there would be no next time.
Atina, wishing for the master to regain their spirit, told a lie that would soon be discovered and ordered the regular maids to bring Irene her meal.
Fortunately, the lie seemed to lift her from despair. Atina smiled faintly as she watched Irene slowly pick up her spoon.
“I’ll leave you to it, so please eat comfortably.”
“Thank you, Atina.”
Irene then smiled back at Atina. Atina gave a short greeting and turned away with the maids, a satisfied look on her face.
The bedroom remained tidy after the attendants left. Irene slowly finished her small meal. The problem arose after she finished eating.
‘How do I clean this?’
In the kingdom, she sometimes had to clean her own dishes when given proper food, and she wondered if it was the same in the underwater kingdom. Hesitant with the plate, Irene finally got up and walked towards the door.
As she approached the door, she heard the attendants waiting outside chatting. Curious about their usual conversations, Irene quietly listened to the sounds outside the door.
“The Crown Prince’s marriage wasn’t something he wanted.”
“That’s why he’s being divorced.”
“What’s this about asking to eat together? Only Atina-nim is suffering.”
“You have no charm and no sense, so you won’t last long.”
The idle chatter they had exchanged with giggles soon turned into gossip about Irene. Both the speakers and the listeners were servants of the Coral Palace.
It was none other than the very children who, just moments before, had smiled sweetly at Irene. Involuntarily, she gasped, covering her mouth with her hand, and the plate she was holding clattered to the floor.
“What is it, Lady Irene!”
Hearing the sound of something falling nearby, servants opened the door and entered.
Their tone was filled with concern.
If it were the Irene before hearing their conversation, she would have reassured them, saying it was fine, but the current Irene had no confidence to answer them. One of the servants approached Irene to help her up. The kind touch made her gag. Irene choked, covering her mouth, and stumbled, her head bowed. No one reached out to steady her.
“Oh no, they must have heard everything.”
With them whispering right in front of the person concerned, there was nothing Irene could do.
“Could you… could you clean up the plate.”
Barely managing to utter a word, Irene ran out, leaving the servants behind. She felt she couldn’t face anyone in this state. She walked aimlessly, then ran, escaping places where people might be, until she reached an empty lot.
It was a place far too shabby to be part of the undersea palace.
She recalled the soldiers trying to stop her as she passed through a certain gate earlier; looking around, she seemed to have left the palace and entered the commoners’ district.
Irene herself didn’t know what strength had allowed her to shake off the youths who tried to hold her back.
“Haa……”
Irene let out a deep sigh and slumped down, hugging her knees.
The maids’ words resurfaced, tormenting Irene that Pereian had never wanted this marriage, and that was why she had been cast aside.
‘At first, I didn’t want this marriage either. I thought it was something I had to do, compelled by my father’s command.’
But when Irene met her husband, she finally came to welcome this marriage. Because the man who had kissed her forehead indifferently and allowed her to breathe was Ian.
‘I was grateful that the man who accepted me here was you, Ian.’
From the moment she met Pereian, Irene had considered this marriage a gift to herself. She felt that even if she couldn’t receive his love, the joy she would gain from spending her days with him could fill the sea.
‘But Ian, this marriage is like a nightmare for you.’
She had only now properly recognized the obvious truth.
Her perception had been slow because she had been so excited by the fact that the other party was Ian.
‘Foolishly, I expected your tenderness to turn towards me again.’
In the quiet clearing, a place where Ian’s hatred had not yet reached, Irene recalled her first conversation with Pereian.
It began in the summer she was fourteen. Around Irene’s birthday.
At an age when one would desire many things, all Irene wanted was her family.
In the cold, unfeeling basement, Irene needed someone to lean on, someone with whom she could share affection.
The nanny and her family, who had been the only ones to stay by Irene’s side since childhood, moved their residence to a port city after Irene welcomed the new year at the age of ten, and they grew distant. The nanny wished to remain in the capital, but she soon had to leave her job. It was the king’s command, so there was no way to disobey.
The nanny and her son were not people who would abandon Irene simply because they were physically apart. Occasionally, the two would send letters with small gifts for Irene. The regent did not pay much attention to the trivial actions of the nanny. He judged that there was no reason to bother since she would not be able to meet Irene now that she had left the capital.
Thanks to that, Irene could share affection with the nanny through letters. Meanwhile, Gyeongbi, who had been kind to Irene, was dispatched to the borderlands, and the maid had to endure humiliation.
“Everyone who is kind to me leaves my side.”
Although still young, Irene could sense that it was the regent’s doing. After realizing this, she began to push away servants who approached her. She did not respond to warmth and lived as if dead, just as the regent wished. However, deep in her heart, a girl who still longed for a gentle touch remained.
As if sensing Irene’s feelings, the nanny sent a package on her birthday that year.
That was a gift that would shake Irene’s life to its core.
“Everyone has the right to be congratulated on their birthday. Especially at such a young age like Irene-nim. Do you know the royal family’s traditions? Our kingdom has a custom of celebrating children’s fourteenth birthdays. Among them, those of royal blood are blessed for their future with precious gifts. Although I could not prepare anything valuable due to my circumstances, I send a small gift along with this letter, wishing Irene-nim a future that will not be lonely.”
Irene slowly read the short letter, then tore open the gift on the spot. Next to the small, double-wrapped present was a note left by the nanny.
“My son found this while walking on the beach, and as soon as he saw it, he thought of you, Irene. That boy, after picking this up, insisted he had to send it to you.”
The nanny’s son mentioned in the note was Irene’s only friend of the same age, named Rupel.
“Puhaha!”
Irene, who rarely smiled, burst out laughing. This naturally drew the attention of the guards.
Avoiding their gaze, Irene hugged the still partially wrapped gift and flopped onto the hard bed. Turning her back to the guards, she unwrapped it to reveal a conch shell. It looked like an ordinary conch shell, but Irene smiled brightly with joy.
‘I understand why Rupel said he had to give this to me.’
The conch shell was mostly white, but the worn parts reflected ivory and violet hues depending on the angle. It looked as if its colors were taken directly from Irene’s appearance.
‘It’s like a jewel.’
If the definition of a jewel was something that emitted beautiful light, then in Irene’s world, this gift was no different from a precious jewel.