I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! - Chapter 97

Surprisingly, this rigid Duke really did nothing.

We shared a tart made of winter apricots, drank cold beverages, and during that time, his gentle hands seemed to melt every part of my body. The touch was truly pleasant, but there wasn’t even a hint of anything suspicious.

When I couldn’t stand it any longer and turned my head to kiss him, his large hands flinched. His mouth tasted sweet. After the kiss continued for a while, the intent behind his touch began to shift—becoming something a little more intoxicating. He brushed aside my long hair, finding the expression I’d been trying to hide.

It must have been a bright red, messy, and foolish face, but the Duke didn’t care. He kissed me again. As my entire body melted into languidness, he lifted me out of the bathroom, carefully dried me off, and even dried my hair.

Of course, calling for attendants could have handled all of that, but I wasn’t so clueless as to suggest summoning them in this situation. The Duke pulled all the curtains around the bed and embraced me in the dim light. The realization that I was finally home washed over me, and every ounce of tension drained from my body.

We exchanged a lot of words, quietly chatting. Even asking about each other’s well-being provided endless topics of conversation. It was a peaceful and pleasant time, one I hadn’t felt in a long while. The surroundings were so quiet that it felt as though I could hear the stars twinkling outside the window. That silence was entirely filled with our whispers. It was a time that I could never tire of.

* * *

Before me was a round object covered with an opaque cloth. It was a communication crystal orb that had been discovered while investigating Erma’s chambers. It seemed that Erma had used this orb to maintain contact with the Emperor and had likely been brainwashed through it.

I recalled how the Emperor had once tried to give me a crystal orb. I’d thought it was a joke at the time… but now, I was keenly aware that none of the Emperor’s actions were ever without meaning.

“What’s the best way to deal with this?”

“If the orb loses its shape, its power will be completely nullified.”

At those words, the Duke immediately drew his sword and struck down at the orb with its tip. With a sharp cracking sound, the orb shattered into several pieces beneath the cloth, like an apple split apart. The Count, lifting the cloth slightly, then removed it entirely.

The crystal orb had turned into opaque quartz-like fragments, devoid of even the smallest reflection. It was entirely worthless now. Even so, the sight left me uneasy. The Emperor’s magic was like a hidden disease lurking unnoticed within the body, waiting to strike.

“Do you think the Emperor’s magic might still be hidden somewhere?” I asked.

The Duke nodded solemnly.

“Yes. Especially since Erma was the steward. Who knows what she might have hidden around the castle?”

But searching every corner of the vast castle would take an unimaginable amount of time. Nor could we simply discard every jewel within the estate. The only option was to proceed with utmost caution.

“Truly a troublesome kind of magic,” I muttered.

“It would have been nice if an ally had wielded it,” the Duke replied.

“Ha, it was originally mine, you know,” Lyol interjected with an exaggerated sigh.

Perhaps he’d intended to lighten the mood, but his words instead brought back memories of the death of the First Prince and what Lyol had witnessed. The atmosphere darkened, but the Count broke the silence.

“We’re prioritizing the investigation of items made of crystal within the castle.”

“Are you handling this alone?” I asked.

“No, that’s not feasible in terms of time or manpower. We’ve enlisted scholars who study magical artifacts. It’s still going to take a while, but we’ll do our best.”

“I’m counting on you.”

The meeting ended there, as everyone had tasks to attend to. Each person dispersed to their respective duties. With my backlog of work, I immediately headed to my office.

The drawing room soon grew quiet.

However, no one present had noticed the faint glow that emanated from the mirror in the drawing room the moment the Duke shattered the orb.

* * *

As I was busy working, Resily brought in tea, giving me a moment to catch my breath. Sir Raon had just left the castle on an errand for the Duke, leaving only Reia and me sitting across from each other.

On the plate before us were bunny-shaped cookies decorated with designs in sugar cream. The pastry chef must have thought we were exhausted and had made an effort to cheer us up. However, the cookies were so adorably crafted that it felt a little guilty to eat them.

“…I’m relieved you returned safely, Your Highness,” Reia said abruptly as I deliberated over how to eat the cookie.

“Thank you. You must’ve gone through a lot as well, Reia,” I replied.

“Oh, not really… As long as I don’t have to return to Seles, I’ll do anything.”

Reia shrugged and sipped her tea quietly. Truthfully, risking bringing Reia back to the Duke’s castle was only natural, considering all he had done for us. When I thought about everything he had endured, the Duke and I would never be able to repay him in our lifetimes.

However, one thing still weighed on my mind.

“Reia,” I began.

“Yes?”

“By any chance… do you think His Highness will…”

Reia glanced at me over the rim of his teacup without lifting his head entirely. Before I could stumble through the rest of my question, he spoke first.

“Do you mean, will he turn back time again?”

“…”

He had hit the nail on the head. We’d already turned back time six times, so there was no reason we couldn’t do it again. If things went wrong, the Duke wouldn’t hesitate to rewind time.

“Well… I don’t know yet, but if we fail, I suppose he will. This time, however, his foresight ability was off, so it’s hard to predict how things will turn out.”

“…What’s it been like in the past, when he asked to turn back time?”

Reia remained silent for a moment. I hesitated, wondering if I had brought up a bad memory, but unexpectedly, Reia simply closed his eyes and let out a light sigh.

“Even though I hate it so much that it makes me want to die, I still can’t help but agree.”

“…”

“He had such a desperate look on his face.”

What kind of face would that have been? A man who had lost me multiple times. I didn’t want to imagine it. He probably didn’t want me to see it either, just as I didn’t want him to see what had happened to me in the castle.

“If we fail this time, he’ll probably do it again.”

“…What about you? You don’t want to turn back time anymore, do you?”

Reia tilted his head slightly to the side, his eyes subdued. His face clearly showed exhaustion and weariness.

“I don’t know. Time turning back doesn’t even feel real anymore. Even now, I can’t tell if this is a dream or reality…”

He held a cookie in his hand and, with a crunch, broke it in half. The smiling face on the cookie turned grotesque. He didn’t stop there—he broke it into smaller and smaller pieces until the cookie was an unrecognizable pile of crumbs on his plate.

I stared at the crumbled mess for a long time before speaking.

“I… I don’t want it anymore.”

At my muttering, Reia lifted his gaze to me without moving his head.

“Your Highness.”

“…”

“Do you really not want it?”

“No, I don’t. I don’t want you or His Grace to go through that again.”

At that, Reia let out a small chuckle. The quiet laugh unexpectedly lasted longer than I expected, filling the room before abruptly cutting off. He then looked directly at me and spoke.

“Imagine His Grace died. But you could reverse it. Not by resurrecting him, but by going back to a time before it happened. You’d get another chance.”

“…”

“If that were the case, Your Highness, you’d come to find me.”

I couldn’t say a word. It felt as though my mouth was glued shut.

I had thought about what the Duke might do if I died, but I hadn’t considered the reverse. The thought hit me like a blow to the head. If the Duke were to die…

Of course, I didn’t want that. I wanted to avoid it at all costs. I wanted to protect him. But could I? Did I even have the power to protect him? If the Duke died before my eyes, could I calmly accept it and move forward into the future? Could I walk into a future without him?

It was impossible to imagine. I couldn’t imagine enduring it without seeking out Reia.

Seeing me unable to respond, Reia said nothing more.

When my work was finally done and I went to the bedroom, I found the Duke already there—a rare occurrence.

“When did you get here?”

I could feel my expression brighten instantly. I rushed over to him as he sat in his chair, practically throwing myself into his arms. He opened his arms to welcome me, pulling me close.

“Just a little while ago. It seems you had a late night.”

“I had so much piled up… Did you wait long?”

“No, I only just arrived.”

It didn’t seem to be a lie—he was still dressed in his uniform, with only his cloak removed. The clasp of his cloak lay on the table, glinting faintly in the light. We kissed as we remained locked in the embrace, and the Duke gently laid me on the table.

My legs, which had been dangling off the floor, were lifted onto the table by his hands. His fingers worked quickly to undo the buttons of my clothes, his touch impatient. His hands pressed down on my thighs, making my hips ache slightly. His hands, warm as always, slipped inside the parted fabric of my shirt.

I suddenly recalled the time when he had drunkenly rendered himself unconscious. Now, he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off me whenever we were together—whether in the bedroom or elsewhere. It struck me how much restraint he must have exercised back then.

His shadow loomed over me as he unbuttoned his uniform. The shirt he wore underneath clung to his form, emphasizing his broad chest as he leaned over me. The buttons of his shirt strained slightly, revealing glimpses of his firm, muscular body.

Absentmindedly, I reached out and undid two of his buttons. As though he had been waiting, his shirt fell open, revealing a strong neckline, defined collarbones, and a solid chest. Our clothes quickly found their way to the floor, discarded by our own hands. The Duke, kicking away the garments that got in his way, leaned back down toward me. His touch as he removed my shoes felt almost teasing, and his fingers lingered along my now-bare feet.

“Wait, Your Grace, I haven’t even bathed…”

“Neither have I. We’ll bathe together when we’re done.”

“No, not after—I mean now… umph.”

I hadn’t been sweating, and I had bathed that morning, but still, I couldn’t help feeling self-conscious. However, the Duke silenced me with a kiss before pressing his nose against my neck.

“You smell wonderful.”

“…Ah.”

The patterns on the ceiling alternated between being obscured by his form and coming back into view. As the motion intensified, a water bottle tipped over, spilling a thin stream of water from its mouth. The sound of the trickling water seemed unusually loud. Trembling, I clung to him with all my strength.

“Isis…”

I couldn’t distinguish whose ragged breaths I was hearing—mine or his. My mind foggy, I blurted out a question that I probably should have kept to myself.

“Your Grace… if things go wrong again this time… will you turn back time?”

“…”

He didn’t answer. Instead, the shaking of the table grew more intense.

That silence was answer enough.

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