I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! - Chapter 48

“Your Majesty, it’s Erma.”

Hearing the voice from outside the door, I tucked a few documents into a drawer before responding.

“Come in.”

Erma looked as he usually did. Though the Grand Duke and I had begun to subtly exclude him from important matters, it was done carefully enough to ensure he didn’t notice. This was by the Grand Duke’s order: remain cautious but keep him unaware.

Approaching my desk, Erma bowed slightly and began to speak.

“I’ve come regarding the jousting tournament.”

In Isser, the winter season brought the annual jousting tournament. Open to anyone regardless of status, it was a popular event for knights to shake off the stiffness of the cold months and enjoy some excitement. Every year, the winner’s name was remembered. I recalled that the first year I came to Isser, the victor had been Sir Leon.

However, as preparations for the tournament were Erma’s responsibility, I found it odd that he came to me. While he might not know everything, Erma was sharp enough to sense that he was being sidelined. For him to consult me on an event that he oversaw entirely was peculiar.

“Isn’t the jousting tournament under your jurisdiction? What’s the matter?”

“Well…”

Uncharacteristically, Erma hesitated before speaking.

“His Majesty the Grand Duke has decided to participate in the tournament.”

“What?”

I nearly dropped the pen in my hand. No wonder Erma had come running. The Grand Duke’s role was to sit beside me and watch the matches, not to wield a lance among the competitors.

“Do you know why?”

“I’m afraid not. It’s the first time since his youth that His Majesty has shown interest.”

“His youth, you say…”

“Yes, around the age of fifteen or sixteen, I believe.”

It had been years since his last participation, and now, suddenly, he had decided to join. I couldn’t fathom his reasoning, but I quickly composed myself.

“Well… it’s an open tournament, isn’t it?”

“It is.”

“Anyone who wishes can participate, even me.”

“…”

Erma’s lips curled into a faint smile, almost resembling a smirk. In the past, he might have chuckled outright and said, ‘You, Your Majesty?’ But it seemed he’d learned to hold his tongue. Ignoring his expression, I continued.

“If His Majesty wishes to participate, then he should.”

“There will be much grumbling among the other participants.”

“It’s a place for open competition, regardless of status.”

“Your Majesty, it’s not about status. If the Grand Duke participates, there’s no doubt he’ll win.”

That was a given. The Grand Duke’s presence could very well crush the morale of the other contestants.

“Tell them that anyone who defeats the Grand Duke will receive an additional prize from me.”

“From you, Your Majesty?”

“Yes. That should motivate them. The Grand Duke’s knights aren’t so weak as to give up just because he’s competing.”

That was true as well. Seeing that I had nothing more to add, Erma accepted the prize approval documents I’d signed and departed. The reward was substantial, enough that I’d need to dip into my personal funds.

That evening, when I met with the Grand Duke, I immediately brought up the tournament.

“Your Majesty, I heard you plan to participate in the jousting tournament.”

“That’s right.”

The Grand Duke answered casually, sipping from his glass of wine.

“What prompted this decision?”

“Hmm…”

The Grand Duke paused, holding the wineglass to his lips as he gazed at me. His prolonged stare made me uncomfortable, and I blinked nervously. He finally smiled slightly and drained his glass.

“The tournament winner can say anything they wish to anyone.”

“I… see.”

I barely stopped myself from blurting out “Really?” The rule wasn’t new to me. I recalled Sir Leon, upon winning a past tournament, had approached the Grand Duke and loudly proclaimed:

—“Your Majesty, I deeply respect you, but please grant me a vacation! This is killing me!”

It was the first time I’d seen the Grand Duke laugh so heartily.

But what did the Grand Duke have to say, and to whom? As I fiddled with my wineglass, sneaking glances at him, he poured himself another drink and added,

“You’ll find out what I have planned on the day of the tournament.”

That meant he wouldn’t reveal anything until then. Half curious, half intrigued, I began looking forward to the day of the jousting tournament.

The dueling grounds at the Grand Duke’s estate were lined with banners, and seating was arranged around the perimeter. The weather was cold enough to freeze the estate’s lake. I wrapped myself in the blue wolf pelt the Grand Duke had given me and sipped hot spiced wine. Despite the outdoor setting, I felt warm, thanks to the fur and the fires lit around the area.

My concern shifted to the knights—and the Grand Duke—competing in the frigid air. They were clad only in thick winter tunics and light armor, yet none of them seemed cold. It was remarkable.

Among the knights mounted and waiting for their turn, I spotted the Grand Duke. The tournament’s primary rule was to forget rank within the dueling grounds. The knights were playfully teasing him, and he accepted it all with laughter. Despite his usual stoic demeanor, he seemed more relaxed—almost cheerful—when among his knights.

The matches began, with competitors riding in pairs, the winner advancing to the next round. Erma had debated whether to have the Grand Duke join the last match only or start from the beginning. Ultimately, the knights convinced him that the latter would be fairer.

Even so, the Grand Duke dominated every match with ease, defeating his knights one after another. As lances fell and knights retreated, many muttered, “Your Majesty, this isn’t fair!” But the Grand Duke simply smiled.

Finally, the two remaining contestants faced off: the Grand Duke and Sir Leon.

“Your Majesty, I absolutely must win this time,” said Sir Leon.

“Why?” the Grand Duke asked.

“There’s something I need to say to you!”

“Unfortunate for you, I also have something to say.”

The two raised their lances high. Hooves thundered, and dust clouded the air. The Grand Duke pulled his horse back, leaned forward, and struck with a powerful thrust. Sir Leon narrowly dodged several attacks but couldn’t avoid the final blow, a downward strike that sent his lance clattering to the ground.

The Grand Duke lifted his lance in triumph. It was then that I noticed something peculiar: he was wielding the lance with his left hand. The Grand Duke was right-handed—he used his right hand for both swords and lances. It was clear he had chosen his left hand to make the competition more balanced.

Even so, his dominance was overwhelming.

No wonder the knights were booing and shouting about how unfair it was.

The flower boys, dressed adorably in fur-lined winter outfits, rushed out in unison and presented the Grand Duke with a beautiful bouquet. I had no idea where such vibrant flowers had been procured in the dead of winter. The Grand Duke dismounted, gently patted each child on the head, and then turned his gaze directly toward me.

“…?”

Why is he looking at me? My confusion deepened as the next moment caught me completely off guard. He began walking toward me. Reaching where I sat, he plucked the largest and most beautiful flower from the bouquet, knelt on one knee, and presented it to me.

The atmosphere in the arena heated up instantly, erupting into cheers and applause.

“Vi.”

“…”

“This is what I wanted to say.”

The Grand Duke’s face was graced with a faint smile as he spoke. The knights burst into an uproar, shouting and whistling for a kiss. Amid the clamor, the Grand Duke stood, brushed a strand of hair from my face, and lightly kissed my forehead. The cheers swelled even louder.

My eyes instinctively drifted toward the corner of the audience seating. There sat Reya. She watched us with a detached expression before turning her gaze away, as if she couldn’t care less. Why wasn’t she angry?

And then, an impossible thought crossed my mind.

Could it be that the Grand Duke, in this lifetime, truly chooses me… instead of Reya?

‘That’s absurd.’

This lifetime…

Flustered by the noise and heat surrounding me, I stood with a flushed face. Clutching the flower with both hands, I gave the Grand Duke a quick bow before hastily leaving the scene.

“Your Majesty, you’re stunning!” someone called out after me, making me even more embarrassed.

Back in my room, I plopped into a chair without even removing my fur cloak. The flower, vibrant and fresh, sat in my hands. Thoughts of Reya lingered, but they were quickly overwhelmed by thoughts of the Grand Duke. His actions, his words—they filled my mind completely. The flower’s sweet scent tickled my nose. It was the most beautiful bloom from the bouquet he had received for winning the tournament.

To present such a flower—it was a confession.

“Ah…”

What was I supposed to make of this?

From the arena, the raucous noise reached all the way to my room. Normally, my room was a haven of silence, which only underscored how much the revelers were enjoying themselves. And I was one of the reasons for their excitement.

Not Reya, but me. Why?

Why me? Why? Why?

It didn’t make sense. Why?

Lost in thought, I eventually called for Resili to place the flower in a vase and changed into more comfortable clothes. I had no intention of going back outside for the rest of the day.

When the winter sun dipped early, and evening arrived, the Grand Duke came to visit. For once, his hands were empty—no bottle of wine in sight.

“…Should I have some wine prepared?”

“Not tonight.”

He strode toward me, purposeful and steady.

“More importantly, what’s your answer about the flower?”

“…”

“Hmm?”

“Ah, I… I still can’t quite process it.”

Would he find that strange? The Grand Duke gave a faint, wry smile.

“That’s understandable. But I hope you’ll start believing my words.”

“…”

“Reya and I are nothing to each other. Well, we’re not strangers, but… you could call it a cooperative relationship.”

“A cooperative relationship?”

What kind of relationship was that?

“I’ll explain that later. For now, Yuraine.”

“Yes…”

“Earlier, you seemed far too flustered for me to finish properly.”

The Grand Duke walked to the vase, retrieving the flower I had placed there. In his hands, the bloom appeared even more delicate and beautiful. He approached me again, knelt on one knee, and rested one hand lightly on my lap. His touch was gentle and respectful.

With the other hand, he brought the flower to his lips and kissed it slowly.

“…”

I watched in stunned silence. The way he kissed the flower felt as though he were kissing me instead.

“Yuraine.”

My name, spoken by him, made me flinch, and I blinked in surprise. Had my name always sounded this lovely? This warm?

Still holding the flower, his lips hovered close as he asked again, his voice soft and intent.

“Will you accept me?”

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