I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! - Chapter 40

A few days later, the Duke returned victorious. Unlike last time, there was no talk of a triumphant kiss—Leiya had returned with him. My gaze lingered uneasily between the Duke and Leiya before quietly dropping to the ground. Noticing me, the Duke barely spared a glance at Leiya as she dismounted and approached me instead.

“Have you been well?”

“Yes, Your Majesty. I’m relieved to see you’ve returned safely.”

“Good.”

A faint smile seemed to tug at the Duke’s lips but disappeared almost immediately.

“I have two pieces of news for you. First…”

“Yes?”

“Lord Bihen has died.”

“…What?!”

No wonder the atmosphere felt heavy despite the victorious return. He must have been a trusted subordinate. Though the Duke’s face betrayed no emotion, I was certain he felt the loss deeply.

“What happened…?”

“He pushed himself too hard pursuing a beast. I caught up to him, but he was already dead. The funeral was held there, simply.”

“There…?”

No state funeral? Not even a family funeral?

Ever since the Duke had taken his position, casualties among knights and soldiers at the borders had significantly decreased. Those who did fall in battle were usually brought back to the ducal castle for proper funerals or had their family ceremonies fully supported.

“Lord Bihen had no family. And as for a state funeral… It doesn’t matter now. The funeral is done, and it’s not something you need to concern yourself with.”

Had Lord Bihen committed some grave mistake before his death? Otherwise, why mention this at all?

The news left me with mixed feelings. In my past life, she had tormented me relentlessly and would likely have done the same if given the chance in this life. But before she could act, she was sent to the border.

Even so, just because we had no connection in this life didn’t mean my fear or resentment toward her had disappeared. The scars from the past ran too deep.

Erma still behaved exactly as he had before… The Duke, however, was different. I wondered what kind of person Lord Bihen might have been in this life.

In any case, she was already gone. Thinking about it further was meaningless.

“The second piece of news: Countess Chiara will be returning.”

“Ah…”

Was it a coincidence that he delivered the news of Lord Bihen and Countess Chiara together?

I glanced up at the Duke, but his face remained as stoic as ever. His golden eyes revealed nothing.

Countess Chiara had been assigned as my tutor shortly after I arrived at the ducal castle, but she had been away in a distant foreign land, and it had taken time for her to return. Now, I would finally meet her.

She was a noble within the castle, without a fief, but had been granted her title by the Duke himself.

In my memory, she was as stern as the Duke but a fair person. I had specifically requested her as my tutor because she was the only one who had advocated for my innocence. It wasn’t out of pity or sympathy; her reasoning was simple: insufficient evidence.

Though my time with her would be brief, I looked forward to her lessons. I was curious about how someone as diligent and impartial as her would teach me. I felt there was much I could learn.

“Has everything been well?”

“Yes, I’ve done my best.”

“…No, I mean you.”

The Duke reached out as he spoke, brushing back a strand of hair that had fallen forward in the breeze. Without thinking, I glanced at Leiya, but she was nowhere to be seen.

“What are you looking at?”

“…”

Leiya’s here. Should you really be doing this? I wanted to say but held my tongue, fearing it might offend him. Instead, I remained silent. The Duke lightly patted my shoulder and turned back to his knights.

After the brief exchange, I made my way back to my office. As I walked down a dim corridor, I turned a corner and nearly screamed in shock. I suddenly understood why the servant who’d stumbled upon the Duke at his door had fallen to the floor in fright.

Standing motionless in the shadows, where no sunlight reached, was a figure with long hair.

“…”

For a moment, I thought it was a ghost. But it wasn’t—it was more shocking than that. It was Leiya.

“Le…”

I stopped myself. In my past life, I’d never addressed him directly, so I didn’t know what to call him. Officially, he was the son of a baron but also an illegitimate child, meaning I should address him by name without any title. While I knew he wasn’t illegitimate, I couldn’t explain how I knew.

Leiya slowly raised his head.

“Ah…”

I momentarily forgot how to speak. Was this how Leiya had always been?

No, it wasn’t. Leiya used to resemble a delicate flower—gentle and soft. He never carried such a dark, somber air, nor had he ever looked at me with such cold eyes.

Had he witnessed how the Duke treated me?

“Your Majesty,” Leiya said, his voice slow and ominous. He looked unnervingly drained. The last image I had of him was of a frightened man clutching a railing, staring at me helplessly. But now, he looked as though he stood on a guillotine himself.

“I don’t like you.”

“…”

Well, I don’t like you either.

The raw emotion in his voice was so intense I almost apologized on reflex. Considering how the Duke had treated me differently in this life, it was understandable that Leiya might dislike me. But wasn’t saying it so openly a bit brazen?

However, Leiya seemed so melancholic and unstable that my discomfort was almost forgotten.

Before I could say anything further, Leiya abruptly turned and disappeared into the dark corridor. Left alone, I let out a sigh—or perhaps it was some other sound of exasperation. I didn’t even have time to process the humiliation I’d just endured because Leiya acted like someone who’d been battling depression for a decade.

A few days later, Countess Chiara arrived in Isere. After a 20-day journey by carriage, she bypassed her own estate and came straight to the gates of the ducal castle.

“This is Renier Chiara of Isere, greeting Her Majesty the Duchess.”

Though Countess Chiara was a scholar and not a knight, she was proficient in martial arts and swordsmanship. Ordinarily, no one in the castle except knights were permitted to carry weapons, but Chiara had been granted special permission by the Duke to wear a slender sword on her hip. Her straight posture and bearing gave her a knightly air, complementing her petite frame and adding a peculiar charm.

“Thank you for traveling such a long way, Countess.”

“It’s my duty, Your Majesty. I apologize for the delay.”

The Countess gave a slight bow, her movements precise and disciplined. This, combined with her exceptional literary talents, only added to her allure. To my recollection, she remained unmarried and lived alone even three years from now.

Without delay, the Countess opened her books to assess my academic progress. Her nods suggested I wasn’t entirely hopeless in that regard. Next, she tested my physical abilities.

“…”

This time, her expression clouded. I couldn’t hold any of the positions she instructed for more than 30 seconds.

“Your Majesty… Academic knowledge is important, but physical strength forms the foundation of both learning and health. You should exercise more.”

“I… I know. I’ve been meaning to.”

“Good. That’s a relief.”

At home, I had received almost no martial training to avoid developing excessive muscle or growing too tall. As a result, even after regaining my healthier self from three years ago, my physical stamina and reflexes were far from impressive.

The Countess, who had been nodding, suddenly froze and stared at me.

Her eyes widened, as though she had just noticed something shocking. She remained rooted in place, her gaze fixed on me. Puzzled, I tilted my head.

“Countess?”

“…”

Even after I addressed her, she simply stared, her lips pressed tightly together.

“What is it, Countess?”

“…Ah, my apologies, Your Majesty. If you don’t mind, could we sit over here?”

She gestured to the table piled with books. Thinking she was about to begin a lesson, I moved to sit where she indicated. But instead of opening a book, she rested her chin on her hand, contemplating something intently before finally meeting my eyes with a steady gaze.

“Is there something unusual about me?”

“Your Majesty.”

“Speak freely.”

“Please… dismiss your attendants for a moment.”

Ressily was nearby, within earshot, attending to tasks like preparing tea. Though confused, I instructed Ressily to step back. The sound of quiet footsteps faded beyond the door.

“Your Majesty, are you familiar with the magic of my family?”

“No, I’m not.”

Aside from unique cases like mine, most families’ magical abilities were either widely known or entirely secret. Asking outright about another family’s abilities was not only a severe breach of etiquette but also an intrusion into closely guarded secrets. Naturally, I had no knowledge of the Countess’s family magic.

“I am the heir to the Chiara family’s magic.”

I nodded.

“My ability is mental healing magic.”

“Mental…?”

Does that mean she can heal madness or depression? The image of Leiya’s fragile state from a few days ago crossed my mind but was quickly dismissed.

“This much is known to a select few. However, there is another aspect of my magic that only His Majesty the Duke is aware of.”

“Is it… something you can share with me?”

“Yes, under the current circumstances, I believe I must.”

I tensed, uncertain of what she was about to reveal.

“For the purposes of effective healing—though not always—I sometimes see the most vivid and painful memories of the person I’m treating.”

“…”

A chill ran down my spine. A foreboding sense of dread settled over me.

“…Your Majesty, why do you possess memories of being executed?”

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