I Heard You Only See Me as a Friend - Chapter 36

After that malatang meal, Ji Wan noticed that Bai Jia stopped frequently coming to talk to him or attempting to get close.

Perhaps after several interactions, the newcomer realized that Feng Jin was indeed as impregnable as the legends said and gave up on that target.

Ji Wan was actually somewhat worried about Feng Jin’s current state. Feng Jin was clearly someone destined for high places  even if their friendship remained strong, once they graduated and worked and no longer lived in a dorm could Ji Wan really see Feng Jin every few days to let him take a “therapeutic bite”?

After starting work, people usually only return home at night. Feng Jin couldn’t possibly live with him forever.

Ji Wan rubbed the bridge of his nose, temporarily suppressing this worry.

It was only high school; it was normal for Feng Jin not to want to date. Once they reached university and everyone started looking for partners, perhaps Feng Jin’s heart would begin to stir.

The day after they returned, the milk body wash was opened. After showering, Ji Wan felt as though his entire body was wrapped in a layer of milky scent. He climbed onto his bed and looked over at Feng Jin, who had already showered and was leaning against the headboard playing games on his phone.

Feng Jin’s body must also smell like milk.

The image of the tall, cold, and sharp Feng Jin paired with the scent of milk was as bizarre as Snow White dancing with the Monkey King one simply couldn’t imagine it.

Ji Wan’s curiosity was irrepressible. If he had just met Feng Jin, he would have restrained himself, but now that they had known each other for so long and were close, Ji Wan decided to be bold.

He leaned in as quietly as possible toward Feng Jin’s shoulder, wanting to catch a scent.

Just as he was getting close, his chin was suddenly pinched by a large hand.

“What are you doing?” Feng Jin turned his head, raising an eyebrow.

“…Just taking a sniff,” Ji Wan spoke the truth.

Feng Jin’s thumb pressed against Ji Wan’s cheek. The skin there was warm and soft, making one reluctant to let go.

Feng Jin restrained himself and released his grip, leaning his upper body toward Ji Wan and asking softly, “Sniffing what?”

The two were close, and the shared milk scent on them mingled together, making it impossible to tell whose was whose.

Ji Wan smelled the milk body wash on Feng Jin it was fragrant and sweet, making one want to take a bite.

Feng Jin and the scent of milk were indeed a bit discordant, but thinking that this was a preference Feng Jin had carefully hidden for years, Ji Wan went against his conscience to praise him: “It smells good. You and the milk scent really suit each other.”

Feng Jin: “…”

“That’s good then,” Feng Jin chuckled. “In the future, you should keep buying it and using it with me. That way I can ‘suit’ it every day otherwise, I can’t finish such a big bottle on my own.”

Ji Wan nodded seriously, about to agree, when he saw Feng Jin’s face suddenly darken: “Is my pheromone better, or is this body wash better?”

Ji Wan: “…Your pheromone is better.”

Feng Jin huffed, turned back, and curled his lips.

Although the pace of classes was increasing and exams were frequent, the school still gave holidays for statutory festivals.

Monday, April 4th, was the Qingming Festival (Tomb-Sweeping Day). The school gave a three-day break, connecting the weekend with the holiday.

This time of year was always characterized by continuous drizzling rain. On Saturday, Ji Wan changed into lighter clothes and headed home from school.

The Ji family had been preparing for days. For them, Qingming was a very significant holiday that required meticulous preparation.

“Old Ji, the company hasn’t been doing well lately. We must burn more paper money for the ancestors this Qingming,” his stepmother said while checking if anything was missing. “And the roasted suckling pig is it ordered?”

“Don’t worry, I’ve prepared everything. We’ll set out early on Qingming morning and rush back at night,” Father Ji said.

Just as the matter was about to be settled, Ji Wan, who had been eating quietly, spoke up: “Dad, aren’t you going to visit her with me this year either?”

A flash of embarrassment appeared in Father Ji’s eyes, followed by a scolding: “How can you be so inconsiderate? The company’s profits aren’t good this year; we must hurry back to ancestral worship. I’ll go with you next year.”

Ji Wan didn’t look up. His long, thick lashes cast a shadow on his cheeks. “You said that last year. And the year before.”

His stepmother smoothed things over gently: “Xiao Wan, can’t you go see your mother on the weekend? It would be so much better to come back with us on Qingming.”

“No,” Ji Wan’s voice held a rare coldness. “The anniversary of her death is April 4th. The date cannot be changed.”

The stepmother stopped talking, and silence fell over the table.

Father Ji irritably lit a cigarette. Knowing that not visiting his deceased ex-wife for so long would invite gossip, he said reluctantly, “I’ll get up half an hour early and go over with him. You guys head back first, and I’ll catch up as quickly as possible.”

“Alright then, that’s the only way,” the stepmother said. “Xiao Wan, your dad still dotes on you.”

Ji Wan said nothing and lowered his head to take a sip of soup.

On the day of the Qingming Festival, the sky was overcast, and a steady drizzle fell.

Around 7:00 AM, Ji Wan followed Father Ji to the cemetery where his biological mother was buried.

Ji Wan had pre-ordered a bouquet of chrysanthemums. The delivery person brought them to his door early that morning so he could bring them to visit his late mother.

It was too early; when they arrived at the cemetery, there was almost no one there. Ji Wan wiped his mother’s tombstone clean and placed the flowers on top.

The tombstone bore a black-and-white photo of a stunningly beautiful woman. Her features were seventy percent similar to Ji Wan’s, though her contours were softer and more feminine.

Father Ji stood there for a moment before saying to Ji Wan, “You came to see your mother but didn’t bring much food or paper money.”

“She didn’t like to eat,” Ji Wan said, half-squatting before the tombstone, his expression cold. “She didn’t eat much when she was alive; her appetite was poor.”

Father Ji was silent for a long time. He went aside to smoke a few cigarettes and returned twenty minutes later. “It’s time to go. You’re about to take the Gaokao; come back with me for ancestral worship. Let the ancestors bless you to do well on the exam, and bless your relationships with those around you to improve.”

Ji Wan’s brow furrowed slightly. “I’m not going. You go by yourself; I’m staying here to accompany Mom.”

“Nonsense! Do you realize how many years it’s been since you went back for ancestral worship? The spirits of the ancestors are going to forget you. How can they bless you then? Bless your relationships with your friends?” Father Ji scolded.

The fine mist of rain slightly dampened Ji Wan’s jet-black hair, making the darkness of it more vivid and his face beneath it even paler.

Ji Wan’s clear eyes were almost identical to his mother’s. Father Ji looked into Ji Wan’s gaze, which overlapped with the gaze in the black-and-white photo on the tombstone, making his heart race with an inexplicable fear.

“Spirits of the ancestors?” Ji Wan’s voice drifted through the drizzle like a specter. “If there really are spirits in heaven, Mom saw how you happily married a new partner in the second month after she passed, and that the child is the same age as me. She will surely bless you from above.”

Father Ji was superstitious by nature. Hearing Ji Wan’s words, he felt a chill surge from the soles of his feet.

“What do you know? The mental and physical entanglements, the collision of pheromones after a lifetime marking between an Alpha and an Omega… a Beta will never understand. Every Alpha acts this way when they meet their destined Omega. This isn’t my fault; your mother would understand!”

Father Ji forced himself to finish speaking, then turned and fled in a hurried, panicked pace.

The mist seemed to thicken. Ji Wan’s umbrella sat to the side, but he had no intention of opening it, letting the rain fall on him until he was wrapped in a layer of icy cold.

In previous years, he would stay here all day. Ji Wan sat on the ground, head lowered, staring at his mother’s photo.

Ji Wan didn’t know how much time had passed, but the rain falling on him stopped, and the light above dimmed.

Looking up, he saw a large black umbrella held over his head, blocking the drizzle. The Alpha holding the umbrella had a handsome face, currently pulled into a frown as he reached out his other hand to press it against Ji Wan’s head.

“Your hair is all wet,” Feng Jin said in a low voice.

The large hand on his head was scorching hot; the coldness in the areas it touched was instantly dispelled. For some reason, Ji Wan’s heavy heart felt a sudden sense of relief.

“Why are you here too?” Ji Wan smiled and introduced him. “This is my mom.”

“Hello, Auntie.” Feng Jin suppressed his usual ferocity and bowed politely to the woman on the tombstone. Then, remembering something, he propped the umbrella on the ground to cover Ji Wan and hurried away.

A moment later, Feng Jin returned carrying some fruit and a towel.

He arranged the fruit neatly next to the flowers and said solemnly, “This is our first meeting, and I didn’t bring anything good. Please try these first, Auntie. I’ll bring more next time I come to see you.”

“…This wouldn’t happen to be… something you took from your own ancestors, would it?” Ji Wan asked with difficulty.

“Yes,” Feng Jin answered candidly. “They won’t mind.”

Ji Wan was his, so Ji Wan’s mother was naturally part of his family as well. What was the problem with taking some food from home to give to the family?

Ji Wan was speechless, assuming Feng Jin was a materialist like him who didn’t believe in ghosts and gods, and thus didn’t care about such taboos.

Regardless of whether the ground was dirty, Feng Jin sat down next to Ji Wan. To ensure the umbrella covered both of them, their shoulders were pressed together.

“You came for ancestral worship too, right? Is it okay to be here?” Ji Wan asked softly.

“It’s fine. My parents are busy, and these activities are always done quickly. They’re already finishing up.” As Feng Jin spoke, he unfolded the towel, draped it over Ji Wan’s head, and gave his hair a thorough rub to dry the moisture.

“I’ll do it myself.” Ji Wan tried to catch Feng Jin’s hand, but Feng Jin didn’t stop.

Ji Wan settled for taking the umbrella from Feng Jin’s other hand. This time Feng Jin let go, using both hands to help Ji Wan dry his hair.

After finishing, Feng Jin packed the things away and looked at the tombstone with Ji Wan. “Your mother is very beautiful. You look a lot like her.”

“…Mhm.”

Ji Wan opened his mouth, wanting to say something. A long-dormant desire to confide surged within him; that tightly closed box opened a crack. Perhaps the time and place were right, or perhaps the person was right, but the contents were desperately pouring out.

“My mother was also a Beta,” Ji Wan said softly. “A Beta who believed that as long as she worked hard, the Alpha she loved would stay with her forever.”

Feng Jin’s expression turned solemn for a moment, but Ji Wan didn’t notice.

Leaning against Feng Jin’s shoulder, he murmured, “I heard later that shortly after the wedding, my dad’s body was often mixed with the scent of Omega pheromones. But she couldn’t smell it, and neither could I.”

“Later, she fell ill and passed away. But before she went, she never knew my dad had an Omega on the outside.”

Ji Wan smiled, his slender fingers touching the cold tombstone, gently stroking the black-and-white photo. “It could be considered a kind of luck.”

Feng Jin comforted him, “Auntie has gone to a place without pain.”

“Mhm.” Ji Wan nodded. “I hope she doesn’t look for an Alpha in heaven.”

After a long silence, Feng Jin spoke again: “No wonder you never considered an Alpha as a boyfriend and asked me to block them.”

Ji Wan shook his head with a smile. “What’s the point of looking for an ‘A’? I have no pheromones and can’t smell them; if he cheated brazenly, I might not even know. Not to mention I have heart disease; I might just drop dead from anger if I found out. A’s and O’s are a match made in heaven I’m just a ‘B’, I won’t get involved.”

I wouldn’t cheat.

At the thought of someone else’s pheromones getting onto Ji Wan through him, Feng Jin felt a surge of nausea. He almost wanted to travel through time and chop up the version of himself that could possibly become a scumbag.

Countless words rushed to Feng Jin’s lips, but he couldn’t say a single one; he could only bury them deep in his heart.

“What if an Alpha has designs on you?” Feng Jin asked as if on a whim. “Have you seen those TV shows? A powerful Alpha who only wants you, and you refuse even unto death, starting a ninety-episode tragic romance.”

Ji Wan: “…”

He hadn’t realized Feng Jin’s interests were so broad.

“…Don’t watch too many TV dramas,” Ji Wan said helplessly. “Where would you find such a powerful yet brainless Alpha who would chase a Beta like me instead of an Omega?”

“Besides, I have you,” Ji Wan bumped Feng Jin’s shoulder. “Brother Feng’s got my back.”

The rain intensified, pattering against the umbrella. The chill deepened, and it seemed the person he was leaning against was the only heat source.

Feng Jin reached out and put his arm around Ji Wan’s shoulder, whispering, “Right. Brother Feng’s got your back.”

As evening approached, Ji Wan prepared to leave.

He didn’t plan on going home; there was no one there anyway, so he might as well go straight back to school.

He and Feng Jin ate something outside. Feng Jin chatted with him, and somehow the conversation turned to individual differences.

“Every Alpha has their own personality; how could they all be the same? It’s like the stereotype that Alphas love sports and have great physical strength that guy Kong Liyan just stays inside playing games all day, and running a few hundred meters is like taking his life,” Feng Jin said.

Ji Wan recalled the last school sports meet, where Kong Liyan hung on him like a dead dog after running 800 meters.

Ji Wan laughed. “That’s true.”

Just like the public perception that Alphas only like simple and sharp styles, yet Feng Jin also liked those cute and “soft” things.

“Public stereotypes are still heavy,” Feng Jin said, stopping there to avoid alerting Ji Wan. “But exercise is still good; it helps you relax.”

Ji Wan and Feng Jin walked onto the campus. They passed the sports field; perhaps because of the holiday, there was no one there—a rare emptiness.

Feng Jin looked at Ji Wan, who was clearly in a bad mood and appeared depressed from any angle, and he stopped walking.

“Want to play basketball?” Feng Jin asked.

“…Huh?” Ji Wan’s reaction was a bit slow. “I don’t know how to play basketball.”

“That’s easy, I’ll teach you.” Feng Jin smiled. “Brother Feng’s basketball lessons aren’t something just anyone can get. You’re in luck.”

“Is that so?” Ji Wan also smiled. “Then thanks, Brother Feng.”

Feng Jin rushed back to the dorm to grab a basketball and brought Ji Wan to the court.

Ji Wan took a defensive stance as Feng Jin instructed, listening seriously to his explanation.

“…When dribbling, pay attention to the opponent’s movements. Use fakes to confuse them and shake them off to move forward, like this.”

As Feng Jin spoke, he made a gesture as if to drive past on the left, then instantly pulled the ball back to the opposite direction, bypassing Ji Wan before he could react. Finally, he did a three-step layup, rising high as if he could fly, and slammed the ball into the hoop.

The basketball bounced on the ground. Feng Jin hung in the air for a second, one hand gripping the rim, before letting go and landing lightly.

Ji Wan retrieved the ball and clapped. “Brother Feng is amazing.”

Feng Jin smiled and took a defensive stance. “You try.”

“…So soon?” Ji Wan asked in disbelief. ” I only saw you demonstrate it once.”

Feng Jin nodded. “You can do it.”

“Alright, I’ll try.” Ji Wan knew he couldn’t possibly surpass Feng Jin today no matter how much he practiced. He recalled Feng Jin’s movements and began to dribble.

Feng Jin’s eyes were fixed on him, like a wolf watching prey trying to escape. Ji Wan felt an indescribable pressure; he imagined the opponents Feng Jin marked in a real game must be under immense stress.

With the mindset that he would definitely be blocked, Ji Wan made a feint and successfully bypassed Feng Jin. Feng Jin’s intercepting fingers only barely grazed his arm.

Ji Wan: “?”

Brother Feng is ‘letting water’ (going easy) more generously than the Huangguoshu Waterfall!

Ji Wan didn’t look back but focused on the approaching basketball hoop.

If he made this shot, he would be someone who scored a basket in front of Feng Jin!

He could brag about this to Feng Jin for a whole year.

Ji Wan was eager; next was the three-step layup. His jumping ability was definitely not that good, so he should choose to shoot, but…

The image of Feng Jin soaring through the air flashed in his mind; “handsome” and “valiant” couldn’t describe a fraction of it.

Ji Wan pursed his lips and also jumped.

However, the moment he left the ground, Ji Wan knew it wouldn’t work. Let alone reaching above the rim, his jumping ability was probably only half of Feng Jin’s.

Yet, at the peak of his jump, someone grabbed his waist and lifted him high. Ji Wan rose up, his hand touched the rim, and he successfully threw the ball in.

He heard Feng Jin’s voice: “Amazing. A dunk.”

Ji Wan looked down. Feng Jin’s face was at the level of his chest/abdomen; that handsome face was full of smiles and over-the-top acting that anyone could see through: “Dunking on the first try—so strong. Teacher Ji is indeed someone who can dunk on me; I admit defeat.”

Ji Wan froze for a moment, then couldn’t help but laugh. The gloom that had hung over him all day was swept away by the sun, leaving only clarity.

“Let me down,” Ji Wan thumped Feng Jin’s shoulder and laughed. “How can you grab ‘Teacher’s’ waist? That’s outrageous.”

Feng Jin didn’t let go immediately. He held Ji Wan and spun around a few times before reluctantly releasing him.

But after being let go, Ji Wan didn’t move away to a safe distance; instead, he stood there staring at him.

Feng Jin wiped his face, feeling a bit nervous. “What is it?”

“Feng Jin,” Ji Wan said suddenly. Feng Jin’s nervousness intensified, his body even stiffening unconsciously.

Why was Ji Wan suddenly so serious? Did he realize the little hidden motive behind grabbing his waist?

Before Feng Jin could think too much, Ji Wan hugged him, and his mind went blank.

Ji Wan closed his eyes, burying his face in Feng Jin’s broad shoulder, and whispered, “Thank you.”

Perhaps in the days to come, Feng Jin would meet more and better friends who were more like-minded. Perhaps in the future, he would gradually exit the stage of Feng Jin’s life and become a mere passerby.

But he would remember this day, this moment.

For the rest of his life, he would consider Feng Jin his best friend.