I Heard That I am a HeartBreaker - Chapter 79

Qiu Shuang considered herself somewhat narcissistic. At least from her perspective, the majority of women didn’t have a figure as good as hers, so she might as well just look at herself.

The campus bathhouse culture in the North was deep. Initially, it had been a bit much for Qiu Shuang to handle; after all, once you realize your sexual orientation is different, there’s always a lingering sense of unease. But later, it didn’t matter much anymore—human beings are all just the same arrangement of bone and flesh.

“Don’t go crazy here with me.”

Upon hearing this, Qi Sijiao suddenly felt how cruel the other woman could be. With just a few words, she had branded her as a mentally unstable woman. Yet, ultimately, she only had herself to blame.

Sinking for the sake of a physical shell, gambling her own invested costs, and ending up wavering in indecision—it could only lead to pain.

“Senior, do you think I’m a lunatic?”

Qi Sijiao didn’t know how to respond. Thinking back on her own behavior, perhaps in the eyes of the other, she was already abnormal.

Even if it wasn’t Qiu Shuang, anyone else witnessing everything Qi Sijiao had done during this period would have called the police long ago.

Thinking this way, her mood suddenly brightened a bit. After all, the other person hadn’t chosen to report her, hadn’t treated her with cold hostility, and had even let her into the room. It seemed she still held some status in the other’s heart.

Qiu Shuang had intended to use her words to choke the other girl and cause some embarrassment. She didn’t believe someone could be such a masochist as to continue liking a person who was constantly verbally abusive.

However, seeing the other girl—who was supposed to be sad—suddenly and inexplicably start smiling, Qiu Shuang was, quite frankly, startled.

“That’s not something for me to decide; it should be a doctor. I suggest you go see one. You’re currently investing far too much time in me. No matter how you look at it, this is wrong. Love seems to occupy a bit too large a proportion of your world.”

Qiu Shuang was seriously lecturing her, but Qi Sijiao sat there motionless. Before Qiu Shuang could think of what to do next, she saw the other girl firmly grasp her hand and, in a very fawning posture, lick it.

Qiu Shuang didn’t know how to describe the impact of this visual. She had quietly seen this kind of thing in private before, but seeing it yourself versus having it displayed before you in 3D life were completely different concepts.

She felt the other’s soft tongue wet her fingertips, even teasingly hooking back with the tip of the tongue while looking up at her.

Qiu Shuang could feel her finger entering a very soft place. In that instant, she felt as if her brain had short-circuited, jumping erratically, and her breathing almost stopped.

“…Please spit my finger out. People come into contact with many bacteria in daily life. Even though I’ve washed my hands, this is really unhygienic.”

Qi Sijiao didn’t know if Qiu Shuang was a germaphobe, but she believed that no one in this world remained unmoved by lust. If they were, it was simply because the effort wasn’t enough.

If she couldn’t compete with Chen Wanjun in terms of “hardware,” then she would start with the “software.” Her eyes and brain weren’t just for show; she could learn on the fly.

See? Her Senior didn’t give her a slap across the face, but rather paused for a moment. This was clearly showing results.

Qiu Shuang looked at her. This time, the girl was obedient, spitting out her finger and then kneeling beside her, looking up at her fawningly, even licking her own lips.

She was defeated. She truly didn’t know what to do or how to handle this. She had never encountered a “patient” of this brand before. Beating her up would make things too ugly, but not beating her left Qiu Shuang feeling genuinely uncomfortable.

Green frog emojis kept popping up in Qiu Shuang’s mind. Heavens, how could this be so vulgar? Where was she? Was this still domestic? Where had she been taken?

“I will be very obedient. Senior, you can do anything to me. I won’t tell anyone. I won’t demand anything. If there are things I don’t know, I can learn, as long as Senior doesn’t cast me aside.”

Hearing the other girl repeat this over and over, Qiu Shuang was truly fed up. She felt like Noah on the Ark; the world was ending, the flood was about to wash everything away, so the girl was acting crazed, desperate to be taken along, hoping not to be left in the water to drown.

It was as if there were an umbilical cord between an infant and a mother—without it, she would immediately die of regret. Qiu Shuang truly didn’t understand why the girl was still so obsessed with this.

If this continued, there was really no point in them living under the same roof.

Qiu Shuang truly didn’t understand what these people were thinking, or why they all wanted to take this approach. Thinking of this, she remembered Chen Wanjun from before and felt her vision go dark again.

And this sort of thing was a very delicate matter. If the rejection was too blunt, it might leave a massive psychological trauma; but if the attitude was a bit softer, it would seem like a signal of acceptance, and then such incidents would likely happen more and more.

Qiu Shuang felt these people didn’t need to see a doctor; she was the one who should go. She was about to be turned into a mental patient by this group—no, that wasn’t right. Qiu Shuang was already “mentally ill,” and now her already dire condition was being made even worse.

“Senior, don’t be like this. I can go to the gym, I can make myself more beautiful…”

Qi Sijiao wasn’t sure where the problem lay, but it must be her fault. Perhaps the attraction of her body hadn’t reached the point of breaking through moral boundaries; it seemed she just hadn’t “pushed” herself enough.

Qiu Shuang began to brainstorm, thinking of how to completely reject her. After all, if she were too crude in this situation, the girl might have psychological barriers in the future.

But this was the second time this had happened. She had to make everything clear, otherwise, if it happened again, she would truly be enraged to death.

Qiu Shuang felt she should correct the other’s incorrect thinking, let her find the basic bottom line of being a human, and try her best to rectify her values.

“Thank you, but you don’t need to go to the gym. As long as you are healthy, that’s enough. A healthy body is the best body. I am not interested in you simply because I am only interested in the person I like.”

“As for the changes you mentioned, they are completely unnecessary. You are a good person; we are just not compatible. I likewise wish that in the future, you will meet someone worthwhile.”

Qi Sijiao fell silent after hearing the “good person card.” She wanted to face her with a beautiful poise, but she couldn’t smile at all.

“Senior, do you know? When I first saw you, I thought, ‘How did I get assigned such a beautiful roommate?’ Later, as we spent time together, I fell in love with you. I admit I am inferior; you are so beautiful and gentle. I thought that if I were with someone like you, you would surely treat me even better.”

“I don’t want to sound so shallow, but that is the essence of human nature. I want to be with you forever. As for what you said about us not being compatible, I don’t believe it.”

At this point, Qi Sijiao paused, then firmly repeated her view.

“I can change myself, become the person you want. Don’t think this is unfair to me. I’m the one who likes you, I’m the one pursuing you, so I should pay the corresponding price. This has been the logic since ancient times.”

Qi Sijiao felt her outlook was not wrong. From start to finish, although much is said about equality in relationships, it doesn’t actually exist.

Whoever wants to climb higher should pay more; whoever wants to possess something better should invest more. So-called love is nothing more than a two-way choice.

Similar to shopping in a mall—without enough money, you can’t get the items on the shelf.

In this relationship, Qi Sijiao appeared to be the subordinate; this was what she deserved. Because from the beginning, it was Qi Sijiao who liked Qiu Shuang, while Qiu Shuang did not like Qi Sijiao. If Qi Sijiao wanted to win the other’s affection, she had to remodel herself according to Qiu Shuang’s preferences, rather than forcing Qiu Shuang to like the version of her that she didn’t like.

Qiu Shuang fell silent after hearing her argument. She couldn’t refute it because she recognized and agreed with what Qi Sijiao said—even Qiu Shuang herself had done the same before.

Truly, the world is a giant loop. When Qiu Shuang used to change herself to pursue Chen Wanjun, she was likely no different from how Qi Sijiao was now.

Perhaps the only difference was that Qiu Shuang was slightly more bashful; at least she wouldn’t resort to something like seduction.

“I really don’t know what to say anymore.”

Qiu Shuang had no way to persuade herself to refute a concept she herself understood to be “correct.” That would be no different from destroying herself.

“Senior, I rarely speak my heart like this to someone. I hope you can…”

“Give me a break, I really want to call the police. What is going on in the heads of you kids? Do you think that by saying this, I would accept you and then we could be together? You view love too shallowly. Even if we really became what you wanted, do you think I would truly cherish a ‘you’ that was so easily obtained?”

Qiu Shuang didn’t understand “casual love.” She only wanted love to grow over time, and Qi Sijiao’s frank attitude actually made Qiu Shuang feel somewhat angry.

If Qiu Shuang were to accept her so casually, it would be an insult to both the relationship and the other person.

If there is no understanding, if it’s merely because of a chance encounter and physical attraction, and you get together in such a muddled way, it’s truly tragic. And a relationship that can be opened so casually is destined to be just as casual when facing the next person.

Qiu Shuang didn’t understand why the other liked her. She only had a decent appearance and an empty, camouflaged exterior.

Was Qiu Shuang truly gentle and steadfast? No. She had a wildly beating heart, a heart that was constantly shouting and screaming, rejecting all those inexplicable people and strange events for her.

Qiu Shuang would not accept the “love” she considered precious starting so casually, nor would she accept the casual unfolding of any intimate relationship.

Likewise, that beating heart would not accept just any ship that happened to sail by; it would wait there, waiting for the destined ocean liner to dock.

Everyone only liked Qiu Shuang’s shallowest disguise without touching that heart. Therefore, no matter how moving they claimed this love to be, it couldn’t change a very simple fact: no one knew the real Qiu Shuang, and so everything was false—including that affection.

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