I Heard That I am a HeartBreaker - Chapter 69

Qiu Shuang wanted this answer more than the other person did. Although she knew she seemingly had no standing to ask, in the end, based on their relationship as friends, she posed a soul-searching question to the other.

Qiu Shuang didn’t know how to answer him. If it were high school, she could have told him it was due to academic pressure, but in university, such a reason no longer seemed to apply.

If he wanted to eat, he could even eat five meals a day, so why was she always skipping meals…?

“Sometimes… I’m just too busy…”

Qiu Shuang felt her excuse was absolutely terrible. Even being busy wouldn’t stop her from eating; she was just occasionally miserable when she went home, which affected her appetite, and when she returned to school, she had to stay on edge about certain things.

There was no harm in admitting it, but claiming a mental illness wasn’t exactly glorious. Lu Chen was just a regular classmate, a former desk-mate; he had already helped her so much, and there was truly no need to trouble him further.

Perhaps this was a sin she was meant to bear. Qiu Shuang would fall into distress every night. She knew her memory was poor at times—she could remember a specific book she read many years ago, yet she would quickly forget the harm others inflicted upon her.

Or perhaps, because she always forgot, and forgot so quickly, people never cared about her pain.

Lu Chen saw through her concealment and let out a sigh, once again feeling a sense of sorrow for himself. She felt that this was her own failing; she hadn’t given the other person enough of a sense of trust to allow her to find the courage to cast everything aside and truly dare to speak the whole truth.

This was Lu Chen’s problem—her own helplessness.

“Once we go back to school, I’m going to watch you eat.”

Qiu Shuang remained silent, but she didn’t refuse his request. Following her silence, Lu Chen understood her heart; since she didn’t refuse or express reluctance, it meant she agreed.

After dawn, the two wandered outside for a day before returning to the house. For a moment, Qiu Shuang didn’t dare sit with him because she didn’t know what to say.

Back in their high school days, she seemingly had endless things to talk about, yet why? At this moment, she couldn’t utter a single word.

It seemed as though neither of them had changed, yet there was something standing between them.

Qiu Shuang knew Lu Chen was a very good person. Because of this, she felt she was a vortex; once completely opened, she would frantically suck everything in and never be able to stop. She shouldn’t be in contact with him, so Qiu Shuang felt she should stay as far away from Lu Chen as possible.

Meanwhile, Lu Chen hadn’t been idle. After finding an excuse to go out, she immediately called Song Ya, asking directly if Qiu Shuang had hidden many things during their high school years.

She felt a pang of jealousy once again. She hadn’t entered that so-called “indestructible friendship”; she could only stand on the outside watching the story unfold.

“What do you want with me?”

When Song Ya saw the caller ID, she was momentarily stunned. She knew who Lu Chen was, of course—Qiu Shuang’s high school desk-mate—but their relationship back then was just average, not to mention she had even intervened back in the day.

Song Ya’s brow furrowed upon hearing the question because, to be honest, she hadn’t cared about those things either. She only knew that Qiu Shuang’s parents seemed very happy for Qiu Shuang to play with him, even actively sending Qiu Shuang over.

As for the finer details, perhaps the current her would care, but the past Song Ya had never thought about them, nor had she cared. As long as she was happy, that was all that mattered.

After all, her relationship with Qiu Shuang hadn’t been that great either, and the dynamic between the three of them wasn’t very mature.

The Qiu Shuang who had just entered high school wasn’t actually as stressed as everyone imagined. Which class she was assigned to or what kind of friends she had didn’t matter to her at all.

Perhaps by a stroke of luck, she wasn’t placed in the same class as Song Ya, and at that time, the concept of “the three of them” didn’t exist yet.

Chen Wanjun was a latecomer who surpassed the others. Qiu Shuang didn’t know how to describe it; she was surrounded by a cage formed by two people or “friendship.”

She didn’t know how to interpret it; she could only passively accept what the others gave her, as if she were being kept as a pet. The other’s assertiveness and control were perhaps exactly what she lacked.

Qiu Shuang had long realized she was ill. She couldn’t resist those words, or rather, she mistakenly took all of it as kindness.

As for Song Ya, she was furious that she hadn’t been placed in the same class as Qiu Shuang. She had clearly told her family to spend money to pull strings—how did she not get the result she wanted?

Song Ya was angry when things didn’t go her way, but soon she got what she wanted. After the streaming exam, the two of them successfully ended up in the same class. Due to the gap in their academic rankings, they weren’t seated together and were separated by many people, but for Song Ya, that was enough.

Lu Chen could never forget the first time she saw Qiu Shuang. The girl sat there emitting a strange, cold aura, as if she had walled everyone else out. Her gaze always seemed to be vacantly fixed out the window.

No one knew what this strange person was thinking.

This was the first time Lu Chen had felt a strange curiosity toward a stranger. Soon, she discovered some odd patterns: the other’s attitude toward studying was very peculiar; only certain fixed courses and chapters could catch her attention.

Once outside of those, Lu Chen watched as Qiu Shuang would draw or do handicrafts rather than listen to the teacher’s lecture.

“Aren’t you worried?”

Lu Chen curiously posed this question. Everyone who entered this prestigious high school was there for the sake of getting into a famous university. Why wasn’t she worried at all?

“Worried about what? As long as I get into a public university, it’s fine.”

If anyone else had said such a thing with that kind of attitude toward learning, Lu Chen would have thought they were a pretender. But through several tests, Lu Chen could clearly see that her desk-mate’s grades were actually very good.

She had a middle-of-the-pack score that was incredibly stable. Barring any accidents, she would likely get into a public university after the college entrance exams, though she probably wouldn’t be able to choose a good major.

“Don’t you have a dream?”

When Qiu Shuang heard her desk-mate ask this, her brain seemed to pause for a second. What dream did she have? Perhaps she had forgotten it long ago.

She still remembered a time when she loved drawing. Painting after painting was produced by her hands, until finally, they turned into a heap of ashes.

“You’re a student. Your purpose is to study hard. Why are you drawing?”

Qiu Shuang didn’t know if she had any talent. She had briefly won some awards, but their prestige wasn’t that significant. Since then, she rarely drew. Although those times brought her much happiness, her family seemed to deliberately suppress that joy.

“Someone like me shouldn’t have dreams. I just live one day at a time, and that’s it.”

Lu Chen truly felt this was the strangest person she had ever met in this world. She had that face, seemingly carefree, disregarding everything.

But she couldn’t ignore the sadness in the other’s eyes. Why was she sad? Why was she so cold?

Based on what she knew, the other person didn’t seem that lonely. After all, during every ten-minute break and every holiday, a person named Song Ya would appear to take her away.

Lu Chen could only ensure she kept her for all her extracurricular time by using the excuse of a “score improvement plan.”

Perhaps this method wasn’t the best, but at least it worked. Lu Chen began to ask her some simple questions, and Qiu Shuang answered them for her.

“Your grades are much better than mine. What’s the point of asking me such simple questions?”

Qiu Shuang didn’t understand why her desk-mate was so strange. She had never seen a top-ranked student in the class run to a middle-ranked student to ask questions.

“Different people have different ways of thinking. I want to master more methods. Maybe your method is different from mine.”

Qiu Shuang didn’t want to make friends, or rather, she understood that she and the other person were from two different worlds. The other had excellent grades and a clear path planned for her future; there was no point in them being entangled.

The other shouldn’t waste time and energy on her, and she shouldn’t drag down the other’s future. They should find their own paths and walk forward with great strides—no intersections, no looking back, and no breaking of lines because of it.

Lu Chen didn’t know how to become her friend, but just as she was about to give up, fate provided a turning point. Qiu Shuang was injured during the sports meet.

She had achieved a very good ranking, but due to a malicious collision from a fellow runner, she tumbled onto the track. Classmates quickly brought Qiu Shuang back. Chen Wanjun witnessed the whole process from the rostrum, and upon hearing the news, Song Ya immediately wanted to rush out to get revenge for her.

Qiu Shuang felt her eyes were hot. In truth, perhaps she really was a bit sad. During the final sprint, she didn’t have any close friends waiting at the finish line.

The people there were just a few classmates. It wasn’t that the classmates were unkind; it was just that in her heart, she truly hoped someone close to her would be waiting for her.

But in reality, Qiu Shuang had no good friends.

Song Ya had gone to find trouble with the other person. Qiu Shuang knew she was in a lot of pain. Perhaps she should deal with the wound first before discussing other matters. The classmates were at a loss, one or two preparing to go find a teacher.

Qiu Shuang felt her eyes were becoming increasingly unruly. Was it the sun flashing in her eyes, or was the wound too painful? They were hot—perhaps she could no longer tell the difference.

Lu Chen immediately ran over when she heard the news. She was grateful for her extensive reading and her family background.

Immediately, Lu Chen performed emergency treatment and carried her on her back. Perhaps everyone was nervous and didn’t know what to do, or perhaps they didn’t want to take on this trouble, but in the end, Lu Chen brought Qiu Shuang to the medical room.

By the time Song Ya returned after finishing her confrontation, everything had already been settled.

The school doctor looked at the wound on the young girl’s knee and treated it. Qiu Shuang could feel the pain as the wound was cleaned, but the heat in her eyes had seemingly receded. However, regarding the future, how she would live independently seemed to be another problem.

“It’s okay. It’s no big deal.”

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