I Heard That I am a HeartBreaker - Chapter 102

“I hope this is the last time. If there is a next time, I will definitely find a way to change dorms. No matter how much money you have, I will exhaust every means possible.”

Qiu Shuang did not understand Qi Sijiao’s behavior, yet she truly could not resist the sight of the other woman bowing her head. The destructive desire and possessiveness in her bones surged inexplicably once again.

So similar… like a pitiful little kitten.

Qi Sijiao’s face turned pale instantly. As expected, Qiu Shuang remained indifferent; even the sincerity of Qi Sijiao’s physical exposure felt powerless.

Qi Sijiao truly didn’t know what to do anymore. In the past, she only had to sit there, and girls would naturally gravitate toward her; she had never pursued anyone before.

She wanted to smile, but her twitching lips blocked everything. Qi Sijiao turned and walked to the side. Qiu Shuang looked at her figure, picked up the clothes, draped them over her, and remained silent.

Qiu Shuang was truly unable to sleep now. She opened her phone and clicked on that familiar chat box.

Autumn Wind: Big Rice, I have a friend. She already has a lover, but her pursuer suddenly “charged for love,” even volunteering to be a third party, and stripped off their clothes without a word. What should my friend do?

Big Rice: …

Zhang Heming was actually encountering such a person for the first time. In the end, she could only lament that perhaps she was getting old; she truly couldn’t understand the act of stripping off one’s clothes.

Big Rice: To be honest, I don’t think this is a unique phenomenon. Perhaps the other party believes they only possess their physical shell, so their “love” turns into a self-perceived lust. This is a very tragic phenomenon. People who behave this way are likely unfulfilled internally. It is good that your friend did not end up with such a person; after all, for someone like that, being together would only be the beginning of a nightmare for the relationship.

Qiu Shuang looked at the reply. Why was her love life so rocky?

Qi Sijiao lay under the covers, staring at the Senior’s back. She wiped away her tears, and her previously sorrowful expression instantly turned flat.

Fine. Everything she had offered had been rejected. Regarding her body, the other party had shown some wavering, but that wavering was completely insufficient. Qiu Shuang’s sense of morality was still too high.

Qi Sijiao now deeply resented the fact that a woman could not get pregnant by another woman.

If she could carry Qiu Shuang’s child, Qiu Shuang would surely be bound to her forever. Thinking of this, Qi Sijiao felt a surge of rage again.

That bitch Xin Zhu… Thinking of the provocative text messages the other woman had sent her, she clenched her fists. Qi Sijiao could actually feel her brain burning, but she had to remain calm.

She had to find a way to make the other party make a mistake, to make her go crazy and do something to harm the Senior. That way, it would be much easier for her to take the lead.

Qi Sijiao would absolutely not let that bitch have the last laugh.

The next morning, Qiu Shuang woke up early. She didn’t want to have any interaction with the other woman, and then she ran into an acquaintance on the way to class.

Lu Chen watched Qiu Shuang pass in front of her. At the same time, Qiu Shuang suddenly felt a sense of desolation. She looked at Lu Chen and noticed a dark circle under her eyes; she looked haggard.

“I’m sorry.”

Qiu Shuang didn’t know why, but she felt that Lu Chen’s expression while saying “I’m sorry” appeared so broken that she didn’t even know what the other was talking about.

In truth, from beginning to end, Qiu Shuang had struggled briefly, but it was only for a fleeting moment.

Because she felt toyed with, Qiu Shuang was devastated. Why did it have to be Lu Chen?

Clearly, when she first discovered Song Ya doing bad things, she hadn’t been this sad. But when it came to Lu Chen, she felt like screaming. She had received so much from the other party; was she now refusing to forgive her over one small bad deed?

Qiu Shuang felt that she was being unfair. However, one cannot entirely negate a person just because a good person did a few bad things, nor can one be eternally grateful just because a bad person did a few good things.

She had to maintain an impartial perspective to face these friends of hers.

“Is there anything else?”

Lu Chen looked at her. She thought she could restrain herself, but in reality, every time she saw her, Lu Chen couldn’t help but indulge in fantasies. But the other party had a new lover now.

Lu Chen knew this was just another “agreement,” yet she still felt sad. Was the love between them so unbearable that it forced Qiu Shuang to stay away, even using such means to avoid them?

Then she truly was the most terrible person in the world.

Lu Chen felt she had failed her. She had clearly been with her for so long; why did she understand so little of her past? She should have been the person who knew Qiu Shuang best.

But as the truths were discovered one by one, she realized she wasn’t as great, bright, or righteous as she had imagined.

Qiu Shuang had attempted suicide. Every time the other was struggling in pain alone, where was she? Why was she only discovering it now?

Lu Chen thought they were truly excessive. They always felt they had done well enough, but no one had ever noticed Qiu Shuang’s agony.

The watch the other party wore year-round for no apparent reason, the stomach problems that suddenly appeared in other people’s conversations, the silence and self-abandonment—some things had long been buried in the past right beside them, waiting for them to dig them up.

However, from start to finish, they never noticed because they were immersed in their own worlds. Lu Chen felt truly apologetic.

Qiu Shuang didn’t understand why Lu Chen had suddenly become so broken. She had left the house early specifically because she didn’t want to live under the same roof as Qi Sijiao.

Seeing Lu Chen’s terrible state, it was necessary to have a proper talk with her.

One could call Qiu Shuang a “Holy Mother,” but at least in this moment, she decided to forgive her. She indeed loathed the other’s concealment, but compared to every life path and bit of help Lu Chen had sought for her in the past, it was ultimately too insignificant.

“Shuangshuang, I want to have a good talk with you.”

“Coincidentally, I have the same intention.”

After the two of them agreed to go to a secluded private room, they began a formal conversation. Qiu Shuang wanted to talk to her about the things used to track her.

She had never thought someone like Lu Chen would do such things. To be honest, Qiu Shuang considered Lu Chen a pure and flawless person; such a person should never be associated with the “gray area,” as she was a genuinely good person.

Someone like her should not disturb such a good person.

When Lu Chen took Qiu Shuang’s hand, Qiu Shuang didn’t react, simply following her movements until she realized the other was trying to unbuckle her watch. Qiu Shuang hurriedly pulled her hand back.

“Qiu Shuang, you’ve attempted suicide three times.”

When a hidden truth was spoken from the other’s mouth, Qiu Shuang fell silent. She always thought she was strong, but she felt more like a bubble that had been pricked and popped, inexplicably shedding tears.

Qiu Shuang opened her mouth, wanting to refute her by saying “I didn’t,” but in the end, she remained silent. Just like the countless nights spent stroking her scars, she wanted to howl like a madman, to scream out all the pain, but it felt as if her mouth had been stuffed shut.

Lu Chen thought she had prepared herself mentally. In fact, when she spoke those words, she ultimately couldn’t hold back. How could she be so bad? How could she be so careless? Under these circumstances, not knowing the sadness in the other’s heart—why was she so late in discovering the pain in her soul?

Lu Chen wanted to go back to six years ago to embrace the person who had already lost hope in life, and comfort Qiu Shuang with the words that were now being spoken pointlessly.

“Why are you crying?”

It was the first time Qiu Shuang had seen Lu Chen so distressed. The other had always been a resilient person, but for some reason, whenever she was linked to Qiu Shuang, her emotions would fluctuate wildly.

In the eyes of outsiders, Lu Chen was always that “mountain.” In front of her, the other was always so mercurial.

So Qiu Shuang always felt very apologetic. She was trapped in the connection between herself and the other party. She didn’t want the “Flower on the High Ridge” to step down from the heights, nor did she want the intoxicating moonlight to shine solely for her.

Qiu Shuang only hoped the other would live well and not always change her appearance because of her.

“I feel like it’s all my fault. I say I love you, but I only just found out you suffered so much harm… I’m truly sorry. Why couldn’t I find out sooner and help you then? At that time you were alone, with no one by your side and no one to help you, I am truly…”

Qiu Shuang wanted to stop the other’s tears, but she began to cry herself. She thought she could already withstand these injuries, but in truth, when someone appeared before her and was willing to weep for her, Qiu Shuang still couldn’t control her inner heart.

In this world, can someone really be like family, wailing loudly simply because you are unhappy?

“Don’t cry.”

Qiu Shuang felt like she had somewhat forgotten the past. She thought she had forgotten, but in reality, years later when she was reminded, she could still feel the sorrow.

The first time Qiu Shuang attempted suicide was in her second year of middle school. She picked up a knife and cut her wrist, but soon, in the midst of that struggle, she suddenly snapped out of it. She bandaged herself up clumsily and made it through the night.

Qiu Shuang didn’t know how to describe her pain. This kind of illness, which severely impacted her physical state, was crying out at all times.

Her body called for death, while her soul thirsted for rebirth.

Qiu Shuang began to lose control of her emotions. Time and again, there would be moments where she couldn’t hear any sound in the world, or her vision would suddenly go pitch black.

At that time, Qiu Shuang wondered why she was always so unlucky. Why did her parents treat her this way?

Qiu Shuang would rather have lived in a home filled with nothing but violence, or a happy one; she didn’t need a world where she was beaten for no reason and then faced with smiling faces.

She only felt that they were truly pathetic now. The two of them looked at each other, covered in tears. Qiu Shuang wanted to wipe away the other’s tears; she didn’t like seeing her cry. Qiu Shuang wanted to comfort her with a mature smile, but in the end, she realized it was better not to smile at all.

“I was so jealous of them back then. The two of them could take you away from me at will. I craved for you to stay by my side forever. I am not worthy of being with you, but when I see others appear by your side, I still can’t help but come out to assert my presence.”

“I didn’t dare let you know the little thoughts in my heart because I knew you always regarded me as your best friend. You think I am the best person in the world, but in reality, I am not good at all. I couldn’t even see that you had been so sad for so long. I am the shittiest person in the world.”

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