I Became the Rich Family’s Stepfather and Couldn’t Stop Laughing - Chapter 8

This was Xi Ling’s first time burying his face into the neck of a human cub to “huff” him.

He didn’t know until he tried: not only was the little guy warm and cozy, but he also had a delicious, milky puppy scent that smelled incredibly good.

At first, Xi Ling rubbed his messy hair against the cub, but after discovering the cub smelled so wonderful, he began to “huff” him frantically. After a while, he started teasing the cub, pressing against his neck to perform a bit of beatboxing.

It lacked technique, but it was full of emotion: “Pfft pfft pfft tui tui tui pa pa pa pui pui pui…”

Bursts of warm air with slight explosive sounds were continuously sprayed against the child’s tender neck, bringing waves of itching that made the cub in his arms roll around with laughter.

Even though Huo Xingmian was being coerced, what fell into the live broadcast lens was indeed an unexpectedly intimate interaction.

[Good heavens, he’s acting so well. If Xi Ling put this acting skill to proper use, he wouldn’t have a single work rated below three points.]

[Is the ugly person trying to be weird again? It seems the wealthy husband really wants to dump him, forcing Xi Ling to have an acting explosion! /doghead]

[Money can make the devil turn the mill; if you let me live in a luxury mansion, I could act better than him.]

Not only were the viewers in the live stream surprised, but the new producer monitoring from afar also felt a hint of astonishment—this was different from what the Second Young Master Huo had said.

Xi Ling discovered that the cub was full of ticklish spots; his black eyes gleamed with excitement. However, seeing the cub’s little cheeks had already turned into red apples, he stopped just in time, thinking about rua-ing (stroking) the cub in various ways in the future.

The cub had been tortured by Nanny Tian into being overly obedient and usually had few expressions. He should have been a vibrant little cub, but he always seemed sickly, exuding a heavy gloom.

That wouldn’t do. “A smile a day keeps the age away” wasn’t just a saying; the brain couldn’t distinguish whether a smile was from the heart, so as long as one smiled, happy factors would be secreted, making people truly relax.

More importantly, this cub was truly too good to “huff”! Win-win situations had to be pursued often! Xi Ling secretly made a resolution.

Forced to laugh until tears came, Huo Xingmian scrambled out of Xi Ling’s arms, rejoicing that he had escaped the devil’s clutches.

He had looked forward to this live broadcast, wanting to embarrass his vicious stepfather, but he hadn’t expected to be tackled and tickled into giggling right at the start. So annoying, this stepfather was so vicious.

My dignity is all gone!

During the play, the noise-canceling earplugs in Xi Ling’s ears fell out. He didn’t bother with them; he sat up, scooped up the cub, and walked toward the bed, asking the question he cared about most every day: “What good food was made for lunch?”

Although the cub in his arms looked soft and cute, he was still angry inside Eat, eat, eat! Is this vicious stepfather a stinky piggie?

“I, don’t, know, duck…” (The cub adds a ‘duck’ suffix, a common cute stutter in Chinese).

Although the cub’s stuttering and unclear speech were problems left over from Nanny Tian, which could only be recovered through slow guidance, a normal parent would probably feel very worried.

But after Xi Ling’s heart ached for a moment, he found it cuter the more he listened. He had always been big-hearted and even followed along, learning to mimic him: “Mianmian doesn’t know, duck? Then Dad will take Mianmian to go look, how about that?”

Huo Xingmian turned his head to avoid the camera and curled his lip. Nanny Tian often mocked him in private for being a “little stutterer.” He hadn’t expected his stepfather to be so unrestrained in front of the live camera lens. His bright black eyes rolled, and the cub suddenly had a plan.

While talking, Xi Ling had already carried the cub to the live broadcast equipment.

Although his face was bare and his hair messy, he was a hundred million times better than when he used to spend three hours carefully dressing up, creating an entirely unsuitable, inferior, dewy-skinned Korean makeup look, topped with a head of greasy hair.

[Holy crap! Is this Xi Ling???]

[Impossible! A body double! This must be a body double! Even the voice is different!]

[These eyes… good heavens, the case is solved. The “Masked Tycoon” who was sprinkling money with a cub at Global yesterday really is Xi Ling!??]

Xi Ling’s most recent public appearance was at the police station entrance. Although he was wearing a mask, the trendy mask and glowing giant green pepper suit he wore at the time were truly eye-catching, so no one had paid attention to anything else.

Not to mention that in the past, when “Xi Ling” appeared, aside from the greasy “steamed bun” makeup comparable to Zhu Ganglie, the original owner also loved to draw the long-obsolete full-rim eyeliner.

He had contoured his nose bridge like Mount Everest, paired with colorful, dangling outfits. His whole look was fatal, both eye-catching and eye-stinging, yet he felt his status was noble and trendy, throwing his chin up to the sky.

Makeup blogger Xiao Qiqi had once analyzed that Xi Ling’s bone structure should be quite good; his small head and small face were actually very photogenic. Nobody had believed her back then.

But even those who believed Xi Ling could look normal after taking off his makeup never expected that Xi Ling would be a great beauty without makeup, including Xiao Qiqi herself.

Xiao Qiqi had been called by a friend who said that the parenting show live stream started with Xi Ling waking up. She wasn’t here for the fun; she completely wanted to see if Xi Ling’s at-home bare face was different from her guesses.

After all, she had become popular earlier by analyzing Xi Ling’s videos. This time she could post on Weibo to scrape a wave of heat. Of course, she didn’t rule out the possibility that a weirdo like Xi Ling would wear a full face of makeup even for an afternoon nap at home.

The result was obvious: Xi Ling’s true bare face dropped everyone’s jaws.

Everyone was greatly shocked: Since you look like this, why dress yourself up like a monster?!

Clearly, his voice was clear and pleasant, yet he insisted on squeezing it into a greasy, nasal sound… Is Xi Ling’s brain broken!!

Of course, some suspected it was either a body double, a filter, or some kind of “plastic-surgery-style” makeup sorcery comparable to special effects. In short, it was impossible for Xi Ling to be truly good-looking.

The barrage in the live broadcast room was still dense, but this time the audience had no intention of attacking Xi Ling; they were all discussing Xi Ling’s face, voice, and figure.

Xi Ling turned and carried the cub into the bathroom. The live camera had infrared monitoring functions, so even without staff remotely controlling it, it could automatically switch to the lens in the bathroom as Xi Ling walked.

Xi Ling grabbed a bath towel and placed it on the jade countertop a bit further away, and only then put the cub down: “Mianmian, wait for Dad for a second.”

After saying that, he turned on the faucet, plunged into it, and started washing frantically.

Nowadays, there were many celebrities live-streaming their face-washing and makeup, but it was the first time the audience had seen Xi Ling be so “raw.”

That posture didn’t look like washing his face in a mansion; it looked like he was scrubbing shoes in a laundry sink.

By the time Xi Ling stood up straight, not only were his face and neck soaking wet, but his hair and the fabric on his chest were also wet.

The barrage was silent for a moment:

[I finally understand why he put the cub so far away; he knew what he looked like when he washed his face…]

[The water splashes from Xi Ling washing his face are bigger than in a diving competition.]

[Got it. This is changing the persona. The wealthy aristocrat crashed, so he has to go for the “boisterous and down-to-earth” vibe.]

The collar of the Ultraman onesie was relatively high. After it got wet, it felt even more uncomfortable sticking to his neck. Xi Ling simply pulled the collar open, revealing his long, slender neck and a whole, beautiful collarbone.

His porcelain-white skin seemed to be coated with a layer of translucent glaze after getting wet, making the tiny red mole above his left collarbone appear even more crimson.

One second it was “shoe-scrubbing” face-washing, and the next second it was “exposing the collarbone.” The audience in the live stream were caught off guard and “scented” all over their faces:

[Damn, suddenly so sexy…]

[Looking like this, I really want to call him “Wife,” damn it!]

[This trash actually uses a beauty trap!? If you have the ability, show more!]

As a result, the audience hadn’t been “scented” for two seconds before Xi Ling deftly pulled out two cotton pads and slapped them onto his face.

Then, as if a cleaner were wiping a range hood that had been dirty for years, he went at it with a powerful, scrubbing motion.

All the erotic fantasies in the live broadcast room were instantly wiped clean by his brutal movements.

After wiping his face, Xi Ling aimed for the skincare products neatly arranged on the glass shelf to the side. These were bought by the original owner. He had checked them one by one—every bottle was ridiculously expensive, and each contained high-tech achievements.

Xi Ling couldn’t understand, but since the money was spent, he would definitely continue using them. Rich people, after all, always lived delicately and painstakingly.

However, these bottles were truly too complex to use; there was a logic to which to use first and which to use last.

Some were for applying around the eyes, some for the sides of the nose, and some could only be applied to the neck. There were also specific requirements for application techniques.

Xi Ling had to check each one before using it these last few times. He couldn’t very well do that in front of the camera, but Xi Ling still remembered how to use the green bottle of “essence.” He picked it up and poured some into his hand. It was green, slimy, and sticky, like a thick soup brewed by Gargamel. Xi Ling frowned and then began to frantically pat it onto his face.

The extremely loud “Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa” resounded through the live broadcast room. The viewers frowned after watching:

[Is he skin-caring or self-abusing?]

[To be fair, this bare face is truly as bare as it can get… it really is good-looking… it’s outrageous!]

His forehead, cheeks, chin, and neck were all cared for by Xi Ling’s large palms. By the time he finished applying the essence, his skin had turned bright red.

Yet Xi Ling felt his technique was very precise and tilted his chin at the cub who was watching in a daze: “How is it? Is Dad even more handsome?”

Huo Xingmian’s small mouth was slightly agape in shock; he felt his stepfather was live-streaming “self-assault.”

Xi Ling took the cub’s shock for envy, stretched out his long index finger, and poked the cub’s little cheek: “Little cub, you can only use baby cream for now. When Mianmian grows up, Dad will teach you beauty techniques.”

Huo Xingmian: “…”

Live broadcast room:

[Help, he seems to think he’s a beauty king…]

[Please! Don’t use that pretty face to make such brain-damaged expressions!]

[Cub: My stepfather is a fool (confirmed)]

After finishing his “beauty routine,” Xi Ling scooped up the cub and rushed to the dining room.

In fact, he had just finished brunch not long ago, but Xi Ling was still in the stage of tasting the signature dishes of the manor’s chefs one by one, so he looked forward to every meal.

Lunch was a pitifully small portion of French cuisine, which just happened to be suitable for Xi Ling to simply satisfy his taste buds. The cub’s stomach was weak, so the kitchen also prepared some stomach-nourishing meat porridge for the child separately.

Following the father and son’s dining habits of the past few days, the nannies didn’t prepare those flashy sets of plates, knives, and forks. Instead, they used one big spoon and one small spoon, and Xi Ling also had an extra pair of chopsticks by his hand.

Watching the luxurious setup comparable to a Michelin restaurant, with top-tier French cuisine carefully prepared by the chef on the table, the audience watched the father and son sit opposite each other, one dressed as a little dinosaur and the other as Ultraman, which was one thing, but they even used chopsticks right off the bat. Many “particular” viewers complained that Xi Ling couldn’t appreciate fine things and was wasting them.

As a result, the big and small pair ate naturally, eating with great gusto. Especially when the father and son simultaneously scooped up a large spoonful of cod puree and closed their eyes in enjoyment at the same time, the happiness and satisfaction on their faces were about to overflow the screen. With the sliding of their Adam’s apples, the father and son nodded and smacked their lips at the same time, making people curious about just how delicious it was.

Before the father and son finished eating, the live broadcast room was already drooling:

[It’s so good to be rich, I also want Michelin-level feasts every meal! Ahhh, don’t talk about table etiquette, big mouthfuls really look so satisfying!]

[The instant noodles in my mouth are hard to swallow, are these father and son here to do a food broadcast!]

[I actually think this is very good and natural. It’s not like there’s anyone who eats caviar with a seashell spoon at home, right? No way, no way?]

After wiping his mouth, Xi Ling saw the little cub across from him still swallowing slowly, his little mouth oily, licking away the residue at the corner of his mouth with the tip of his tongue after swallowing, not wanting to let go of even a tiny bit.

Xi Ling put down the napkin and cleared his throat: “Mianmian, Auntie Bai said you ate two puddings this morning, eating this much at noon is enough, right?”

After getting along these past few days, this cub had been indifferent and dull to everything else, but he was particularly fond of eating. Xi Ling seriously suspected he had been suffocated/starved by being abused by Nanny Tian with cilantro and houttuynia before.

Now that his diet was open, he ate everything with great zest. But the child’s stomach was weak, and the doctor had warned him to recuperate slowly; he couldn’t let the cub eat until he got sick again.

No matter how smart Huo Xingmian was, he was still just a three-year-old cub. When his weakness was hit, he couldn’t help but let his little face slump, pouting his little mouth in grievance: “O-kay…”

A barrage of critical comments immediately popped up in the live room: The cub clearly still wanted to eat, why not let him eat! Xi Ling’s abuse of the child is confirmed!

In the camera, Xi Ling picked up the cub and massaged his little belly first. Seeing the corners of the cub’s eyes still drooping, he raised the corners of his mouth and sighed that he was truly a little glutton, speaking softly while walking: “Who was the little glutton who ate until he got sick and had to have injections for two days before?”

Huo Xingmian pursed his little mouth and buried his head in Xi Ling’s arms: “Don’t know, don’t know.” The cunning stepfather is exposing my shortcomings again!

Xi Ling smiled and said: “Mianmian doesn’t know, but I know, it was Huo Xing—”

A small paw slapped and covered Xi Ling’s mouth: “You, don’t, say it.”

Xi Ling had been coveting the cub’s tender little paws for a long time, but considering the cub’s previous experiences, he had been suppressing his nature. Now that the little white paw had sent itself to his door, Xi Ling immediately reached out and pressed the cub’s little paw, then planted a few kisses on it until he let go and let the cub pull it away.

Xi Ling chuckled contentedly: “Fragrant~”

Huo Xingmian was stunned, covering his little hand with a red face. How could the stepfather do this!

The barrage, which had been arguing a second ago: [Mianmian is not in good health and can’t eat too much, does your face hurt from saying he abuses the child?] vs [No way? Xi Trash has fans defending him so soon? What about your worldviews?]

After Xi Ling’s kissing session, the barrage was instantly conquered by the screams of “mom fans”: [Ahhhhh let go of this cub, let me do it!!!]

The staff saw that the father and son had finished lunch. The young lady in charge of the pre-interview walked out and briefly repeated the content to be done for the pilot episode.

The pilot episode was free to watch without a subscription to the live platform. It was more like a “tasting” version, so it needed to display the basics of each family’s food, clothing, housing, and transportation, while also creating some gimmicks to attract people to keep watching.

From the pilot episode on, for every recording, the production team would collect the ten most “liked” questions on the question board in the live stream room and let the guests randomly draw three to answer, which not only increased interaction with the audience but also made the show more exciting and interesting.

Although the pilot episode had only been live-streamed for two hours, Xi Ling’s live broadcast room had already gathered countless barrages and questions. The questions from the audience for Xi Ling were sharp and mean; the staff responsible for the pre-interview were afraid that if they asked them, Xi Ling would get angry and flip the table.

But the task had to be done, so the staff had to bite the bullet and take out the lottery box.

Xi Ling had already scooped up the cub and leaned back into the sofa, taking the lottery box and yawning first.

Everyone knew that yawning is contagious. After Xi Ling finished, the cub in his arms also yawned. After the cub finished, the female staff member sitting opposite couldn’t help but yawn too.

Then the audience watched the three of them acting like they were playing “Pass the Parcel.” It went around for three rounds, and it was only when the staff member felt that they couldn’t go on like this that she forcefully swallowed the fourth yawn.

Six eyes met, all tearing up from yawning, and the three couldn’t help but laugh together.

Xi Ling continued the process: “Mianmian, use your lucky little hand to help Dad draw three questions that are easy to answer, okay?”

Huo Xingmian nodded obediently on the surface, but started drawing circles of curses in his heart. He reached his little hand into the box and fumbled for a long time, drawing three at once.

Opening them, the notes were written with the numbers ①②③ respectively. Huo Xingmian was no longer sleepy and felt happy inside first.

Although he didn’t know what kind of questions these three numbers corresponded to, the staff had made it very clear that the order of the questions was based on the number of likes. Since these three had the highest heat, they were basically the trickiest.

“Whoa, what a little ‘black hand’ (unlucky hand) you have.” Xi Ling couldn’t help but pull the cub’s little hand and shake it, “How can it be so stinky?”

The cub, who had been pretending to be obedient and ignorant, suddenly looked up and answered in a milky voice: “Da-Da, kiss, stinky!”

Probably because he was still angry inside, Huo Xingmian’s little mouth was puckered up while he took the opportunity to complain, something he didn’t even realize himself.

Xi Ling felt his hands itching and directly reached out to pinch the cub into a duck-mouth, then quickly took out his phone and snap took a picture.

After taking it, he showed it to the cub. Xi Ling said triumphantly: “This is the punishment for Mianmian saying Dad is stinky. When you get married, I’ll make it into a slideshow to play.”

Huo Xingmian: “???”

Damn it!

The live broadcast room exploded in laughter:

[Hahahaha such a ruthless stepfather! Too much!]

[I stand with Xi Ling on this one, laughing to death. I also have a pile of black history of my cub waiting to show his future wife.]

[If Xi Ling is willing to live-stream it at Mianmian’s wedding for me to see, I’ll turn from a hater to a fan now!]

Little Huo Xingmian had been viciously scammed by his vicious stepfather, and he couldn’t even care about the grand plans he had to implement on the parenting show, completely being dragged into the circle of “mutual scamming” by Xi Ling.

The cub puffed out his little cheeks and remained silent for a moment, then turned to the interviewing young lady and urged her angrily in his little milk voice: “Ask quickly!”

“Ask the hardest question!”