Hating Her, While Still Having to Address Her as Mother - Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Regretting Intervening in Others’ Families

Chapter Summary: Do you regret meeting me?

Her hand met only empty air. Panic flared in Shen Manci’s chest as she whirled around. Behind her were only guards, medics, and teachers—there was no sign of Su Zhixi in her Jizhou No. 1 Middle School uniform.

She rushed out of the guardhouse and saw Chen Nian already taking photos of the bloodstains on the floor for the record. Shen Manci grabbed Chen Nian’s shoulders, shaking her violently. “Xiao Chen, where is Su Zhixi?”

Startled by the grip and the sheer panic in Shen Manci’s voice, Chen Nian stammered, “Wasn’t… wasn’t she always right behind you, Sister Shen?”

Biting her lip, Shen Manci hurried back into the guardhouse and asked the group, “The girl who was standing behind me just now, the one who tied my hair—did anyone see where she went?”

The group exchanged glances. Someone chimed in, “She was standing by the monitors for a while. She seemed to see something on the screen, and then she just ran out.”

“Then why didn’t you stop her!” Shen Manci, who usually spoke with a gentle, modulated tone even in confrontations, let out a roar she couldn’t suppress. Realizing what she had done, she lowered her head and whispered a hasty “Sorry.”

She covered her face and stepped out, handing her notebook to Chen Nian. “I’m going into the school. Su Zhixi likely went inside; I have to find her.”

“Keep your eyes on your pager. If I page you, it means I’m in danger. If reinforcements arrive, tell the police to come for me. But if they don’t… no matter what, if that pager goes off, do not come looking for me.”

“The notebook contains everything about this incident. If the police don’t arrive on time and your pager beeps, go straight back to the office. Turn my notes into a draft and publish it immediately.”

Chen Nian, a green intern who had only worked with Shen Manci for a few months, had never seen anything like this. She became instantly helpless and terrified. “Sister Shen, I can’t do it! Don’t leave me alone here, I’m scared! I’m just an intern, I’ve never written a lead article on my own. How can you trust me with this?” Chen Nian’s eyes welled up with tears. A hothouse flower with no one to guide her, she had no idea how to move forward.

“Remember what I told you, Chen Nian? You’ve been in the newsroom for three months. It’s time to stand on your own.” Shen Manci squeezed Chen Nian’s hand. “I believe in you. You’re the intern I’ve trained.”

Shen Manci turned toward the teaching building with no further delay. Chen Nian broke down, grabbing Shen Manci’s arm. “I’ll go with you, Sister Shen!” Her voice trembled with the effort of saying it.

Shen Manci didn’t look back but kept walking. “You’re still young. And Jizhou needs the news report to know what happened at No. 1 Middle School. Jizhou is backward; news doesn’t keep up with events. We need to be the public’s eyes and ears. If you come with me and something happens to both of us, the News Center will be silenced.”

Chen Nian reached out with a hollow hand, watching in despair as Shen Manci hurried toward the building. Overwhelmed by emotion and unable to think clearly, her true thoughts spilled out in a panicked rush: “What does it matter if I don’t go? It’s not like Su Zhixi is your real child anyway, Sister Shen!”

The moment she said it, Chen Nian covered her mouth in shock. People speak their rawest truths when they are at their wit’s end, and she realized too late what she had uttered.

Shen Manci, running toward the building, heard the shout. Her pace faltered for a fraction of a second, but she didn’t turn back.

…

On her way, Shen Manci couldn’t fathom why Su Zhixi would run off. Though the girl was rebellious, she usually understood right from wrong. She wouldn’t do something this reckless. Furthermore, Su Zhixi had promised to be a “good child” today; Shen Manci didn’t think she would abandon the game so easily.

She moved frantically between classrooms. Because the perpetrator was wandering somewhere in the school, she couldn’t call out Su Zhixi’s name. She had to check every room one by one.

The first and second floors were empty. When she reached the third floor and pushed open the first door, she was stunned. A group of children was huddled together behind the door and the podium. A woman blocked her path immediately.

The children stared in terror; several began to sob quietly, afraid to make a sound.

“Who are you?” The teacher lowered her broom and exhaled in relief after seeing Shen Manci’s face.

“I’m a reporter from the News Center. Why are you all hiding here?”

The teacher explained that when the incident occurred during the festival, those in the building watched the attack from the hallway. When the perpetrator was briefly subdued, the first and second floors were evacuated. But before they could get the third floor out, the man broke free and stormed into the school. The teachers pulled the students into classrooms to wait for rescue.

Learning she was from the press, the teacher gripped Shen Manci’s hand. “If the press is here, the police must be here too, right?”

Her hand was ice-cold. Shen Manci’s gaze softened with an apologetic tone. “No, reinforcements haven’t arrived yet.”

The teacher’s face crumbled. “Earlier… that man passed the third floor. He smashed every window in every classroom. I don’t dare take the students out now.”

Shen Manci comforted her. “Stay hidden. Once the police subdue him, you can come out. His grudge is against the school administration, not the students.”

As Shen Manci turned to leave, the teacher grabbed her again. “Where are you going?”

“My ‘colleague’ entered the school too,” Shen Manci lied gently, patting the teacher’s hand. “She’s inexperienced, and I’m worried about her. I have to find her.”

“But—”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Stay here. Once the danger is over, I’ll notify you.” Shen Manci pulled a pen from her bag and quickly wrote her pager number on the teacher’s palm. “Call me if you’re in danger.”

…

She continued her search. Three more rooms, no Su Zhixi. Finally, at the last classroom near the stairs, she pushed open the door and saw the rebellious girl. She was holding a broom, staring warily at the entrance.

“What are you doing here?” Su Zhixi’s voice was full of disbelief.

Seeing her, the massive weight on Shen Manci’s heart dropped. Simultaneously, a surge of nameless fury ignited. She strode forward and grabbed Su Zhixi’s wrist. “Come with me.”

But the girl didn’t budge. She stood rooted to the spot. Shen Manci looked back in confusion, only for Su Zhixi to say stubbornly, “I’m not leaving.”

Su Zhixi saw Shen Manci’s beautiful brow furrow with anxiety, yet her perfect face remained elegant.

“Su Zhixi!” It was the first time Shen Manci lost her patience, and one of the rare times she used the girl’s full name. She was in a rush and had no time for their usual tug-of-war.

“I said, I’m not leaving.”

Shen Manci took a deep breath, maintaining her last shred of composure. “Why don’t you want to leave?”

Su Zhixi remained silent. In that silence, Shen Manci heard a noise from the fourth floor—the sound of windows shattering and a man’s long, rambling curses. The sounds were drawing closer to the stairwell. There was also the sound of something heavy being dragged… a long drag, then a sudden stop, followed by a heavy thud against the floor.

“Didn’t you say you were going to be a ‘good child’ today?”

“Not today. I can’t be one for now.”

“If you don’t leave now, there won’t be a ‘today’ or a ‘tomorrow’ for us,” Shen Manci interrupted, trying to pull her again, but the girl wouldn’t move. “What exactly do you want, Su Zhixi?”

Su Zhixi muttered, “I have things to handle. You go first. Don’t worry about me anymore.”

Those five words—Don’t worry about me—were Shen Manci’s favorites during her own rebellious years. But now that the boomerang had come back to hit her, she realized how much power those simple words had to provoke rage. She almost snapped back with the classic: You think I want to worry about you?

But she restrained herself. With a faint sigh, she whispered, “Fine. Name your price. Just leave here with me. Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you.”

Su Zhixi heard the words she had always wanted to hear, but she wasn’t happy. “I’m not going.”

As they argued, the heavy footsteps drew closer. A hammer clattered down the stairs, step by step, the sound grating against their ears like a ticking heartbeat.

Shen Manci realized she had made the biggest professional mistake of her life: she shouldn’t have brought Su Zhixi into her work.

As the perpetrator drew nearer, Su Zhixi said with a voice full of vengeance, “Do you regret it, Shen Manci?”

“Do you regret intervening in someone else’s family? Breaking it apart?” “Do you regret entering my home?” “Do you regret meeting me?”

Su Zhixi’s mockery was absolute. Even in the face of death, she stood on her moral high ground to judge her stepmother.

“You—”

Shen Manci was momentarily blinded by rage. She could forgive petty squabbles, but she could not empathize with Su Zhixi gambling with her life.

The footsteps were right outside. They could hear each other’s heavy breathing and feel their pounding hearts. Yet in this standoff, neither would back down. Su Zhixi’s eyes were filled with an “I don’t care” attitude, as if dying here would be fine.

Thud. Thud.

The footsteps were upon them.

Fear and anger fused within Shen Manci. Driven by the look in Su Zhixi’s eyes, she lunged, threw open a storage cupboard used for miscellaneous supplies, and pulled Su Zhixi inside with her, squeezing them both into the cramped space.