Crossing the Line - Chapter 4

Shen Yanchuan’s college entrance exam scores were high enough to earn her a government scholarship, which was ten times the original two thousand yuan. Unexpectedly, she chose to major in French, a less common language.

She was indeed flying higher and higher, first moving from the small orphanage to the county seat, and then from the county to the provincial capital. Nancheng Foreign Studies University was a true “university” in every sense of the word, not just a small college.

The rustic, weather-beaten flush gradually faded from Shen Yanchuan’s cheeks, and she began to walk through the campus with her head held high.

She wasn’t bullied anymore. People in university were busy, each person focusing solely on their own affairs. It was only then that Shen Yanchuan realized how much of a difference a change in environment could truly make.

During her sophomore year, she started taking on short translation gigs, and the feedback was surprisingly positive.

Her first payment was 100 yuan. She tucked the bill into an envelope along with a letter and a dried rose, mailing it to Gu Tan.

In the letter, Shen Yanchuan wrote about her recent life and her plans for the future. She didn’t tell Gu Tan that during her very first university class, when the professor asked the students to write down any French words they knew on a piece of paper, Shen Yanchuan had written: “Je t’aime, Gu.”

It was only in the quiet of the night, during her occasional dreams, that she would think back to the orphanage. Kong Wenyi had stayed at the institution to attend a vocational school after finishing middle school. Based on the timing, she had probably been working for a year or two by now.

Shen Yanchuan didn’t hate them, she simply found them pitiful. As she slowly distanced herself from that environment, she increasingly felt their limitations were born of a certain kind of foolishness.

Immediately upon graduation, a company reached out to her with an olive branch, hiring her as a translator. From then on, she no longer had to wear T-shirts that had turned yellow from too many washes, nor did she have to worry about her soles peeling off while running.

The first thing she thought of after receiving her salary was buying a plane ticket to find Ms. Gu.

Shen Yanchuan didn’t have a home in the traditional sense. If she had to name one, then Gu Tan was her home.

It had been seven years. Shen Yanchuan silently calculated the time in her head, then looked down at her clothes. They weren’t flashy, but they didn’t look impoverished like before.

It wasn’t her first time flying, but her ears still ached during takeoff.

Shen Yanchuan rehearsed internally, wondering what the first thing she should say to her teacher would be. What was Gu Tan like now?

She hadn’t told anyone at the orphanage she was coming. The plane landed at 4:30 PM, the light slanting in through the cabin window. By the time she took a taxi to the orphanage, it was nearly 6:00 PM.

Shen Yanchuan told the security guard that she was one of the children who grew up there. The guard gave an understanding smile, “Oh, you’ve grown so much.”

Shen Yanchuan couldn’t remember if he was the same guard as before, after all, so much time had passed.

She was let into the grounds and noticed the scenery had changed. The once dilapidated playground had been renovated, and even the bushes had been trimmed into neat spheres, though the teaching buildings looked the same as always.

Relying on muscle memory, she walked to Gu Tan’s old dormitory building and asked the manager which room she lived in. Seven years had passed, so her living arrangements likely hadn’t stayed exactly the same.

“309. Girl, what are you looking for her for?”

Shen Yanchuan lifted the gift bags in her hand, giving them a slight shake, “I’m a former student of hers.”

She knocked twice on the door. Soon, the handle turned from the inside, and a slightly haggard face came into view. Shen Yanchuan’s heart suddenly skipped a beat as she stammered, “Hello, Ms. Gu.”

“Shen Yanchuan?” She called out her name instantly.

“Teacher, I’ve come to see you.” Shen Yanchuan piled the various bags at the door, completely forgetting the speech she had prepared earlier.

The dormitory was the same as before a small bed and a desk. The only difference was that there were no flowers in the vase on the table. The lights weren’t on, and only a few stray rays of light not yet swallowed by the horizon filtered into the room.

Suddenly, Gu Tan turned on the light, and the surroundings instantly became bright.

“Ms. Gu, I was hired by a translation company last month. They said if I work hard, I could make up to fifteen thousand a month. Oh, and I’m currently translating a book…” Shen Yanchuan chatted with feigned composure, as if they had only been apart for seven days.

“That’s truly wonderful. I’m very happy for you, Shen Yanchuan.”

She noticed her teacher’s fingers were twisted together, and her expression was somewhat unnatural.

Shen Yanchuan stood directly under the light, while Gu Tan leaned against the doorway. The shadows of her eyelashes fell across her upper eyelids, making her look somber.

Perhaps because they hadn’t seen each other in so long, a silence fell between them.

Shen Yanchuan was the first to break it, “My flight just landed today and I’m a bit rushed. I’d like to take you out for lunch tomorrow, are you free?”

“Tomorrow at noon, no… I have to go to the hospital at noon. I’m sorry, is tomorrow evening okay?” Gu Tan suddenly asked, “Where is your luggage?”

“I didn’t bring any luggage back.” In fact, Shen Yanchuan didn’t have much to bring. She lived in a small dormitory provided by her company in the provincial capital. Furthermore, the trip back to town was an impulse, and she hadn’t had time to buy a suitcase.

Shen Yanchuan always felt like she was floating on the water, a piece of duckweed that could never take root.

As it grew late, Shen Yanchuan said her goodbyes to Gu Tan. For the first time, she gathered the courage to ask for her number, carefully saving it in her contacts.

“I’ll text you tomorrow afternoon, Ms. Gu.”

Leaving the gift bags behind, she walked alone toward the hotel she had booked.

Shen Yanchuan wasn’t used to spending money lavishly, so she had only booked a single room for two hundred yuan a night. It was after midnight by the time she showered and lay down, but her heart still hadn’t settled.

The next morning, Gu Tan woke up early because she had agreed to take Chen Xi to the hospital for a cardiac follow-up. Chen Xi had grown into a big girl, having just started her first year of middle school, and the childishness had faded from her face.

Chen Xi’s hair was a mess, and there was still sleep in the corners of her eyes. She yawned, drawing out her words, “Teacher, why did you come over so early?”

“Didn’t we agree to go to the hospital today? Go change your clothes, quickly.”

Since the incident seven years ago, Gu Tan hadn’t dared to let Chen Xi continue her schooling inside the orphanage. Instead, she had arranged with the director to let her attend a primary school outside.

When it came time for Chen Xi to start middle school, Gu Tan rented an apartment near the school for her to live in.

Gu Tan sat on a chair by the door, watching Chen Xi run out of her room and dash into the bathroom. The sound of splashing water echoed, and soon, she emerged with a bag on her back, walking to the door, “I’m ready! Shall we go?”

Chen Xi was nothing like the quiet, cute child she once was. She now looked every bit the adolescent. A few days ago, she had been pestering Gu Tan about whether she could get her ears pierced, saying many of her classmates had done it and she wanted to look cool.

She was also very picky whenever Gu Tan bought her clothes. She didn’t like wearing plain white T-shirts with jeans, preferring ripped pants, claiming they made her feel like she was walking with the wind.

At the hospital, during the routine echocardiogram, the cooling gel was smeared across her chest. Chen Xi shouted with exaggerated drama, “It’s so cold! Teacher, save me!”

“Alright, alright, stop moving. It’ll be over in a second.” Gu Tan stood to the side, but her mind involuntarily drifted back to the night before.

Shen Yanchuan had spoken with such eloquence, her eyes showing the same determination she’d had as a child, looking so radiant under the light. Gu Tan almost felt she looked out of place in that shabby dormitory.

After she had left, Gu Tan opened the gifts—a bottle of perfume with a brand name written in a string of letters she had never seen before.

She thought that such a gift was too expensive. After all, Shen Yanchuan had just started working and needed to save money.

“Hey, hello? Why are you spacing out? I’m all done.”

Chen Xi was using tissues to wipe the gel off her body.

Gu Tan’s thoughts snapped back, and she said slowly, “Shen Yanchuan came back last night. She invited me to dinner tonight. Can you handle your own dinner?”

“That’s not fair! You promised to take me to Saizeriya and take me to get my ears pierced. The holiday ends tomorrow…” Chen Xi grumbled.

“Xi Xi, how about next weekend?”

“No.” With that, Chen Xi started sniffing Gu Tan’s clothes, looking very much like a Samoyed, “Teacher, you smell so good. Did you spray perfume? I smelled it this morning!”

“Can you just be a good girl? It’s only for one evening.”

“I don’t want to…”

Gu Tan always found herself powerless against this child, so she indulged her once again, “Then do you want to come with me tonight?”

“Yay!”

Gu Tan repeatedly instructed her to be a bit more reserved and not too energetic. She then sent a text to Shen Yanchuan, informing her that Chen Xi would be joining them for dinner.

Shen Yanchuan replied: I haven’t seen Xi Xi in a long time either, I’ve missed her.

The dinner was set at a private kitchen in the city center. In the afternoon, Gu Tan took Chen Xi to get her ears pierced. The young girl was surprisingly tough, getting both ears done without making a sound.

Her earlobes were still a bit red and swollen. Gu Tan bought her a pair of silver studs, having heard that silver was less likely to cause inflammation or keloids.

Knowing she was going to see her older sister Shen Yanchuan and having new ear piercings, Chen Xi couldn’t help but feel excited.

Gu Tan and Chen Xi arrived at the restaurant first. A moment later, Shen Yanchuan arrived. Chen Xi stared at her intently, realizing that she was no longer the Shen Yanchuan from her childhood memories.

In her memory, Shen Yanchuan was very thin and her skin wasn’t fair.

But now, Shen Yanchuan wore a simple white shirt that gave off a sophisticated, adult aura. Chen Xi didn’t really know what “adult-like” meant, she just felt that Shen Yanchuan had changed a great deal.

“Sister Yanchuan! Over here!”

Chen Xi sat next to Gu Tan and waved at Shen Yanchuan as she entered.

“Hello, Ms. Gu. Hello, Xi Xi. Have you ordered yet?” Shen Yanchuan sat down across from them.

Gu Tan handed over the menu, “We ordered an ice cream crème brûlée and some dry-pot cauliflower, both for Xi Xi. See what you’d like to eat?”

After ordering, Shen Yanchuan suddenly asked about Chen Xi, “What grade is she in?”

Before Gu Tan could speak, Chen Xi introduced herself, “I’m in my first year of middle school.” Her expression carried a hint of inexplicable pride.