Crossing the Clouds and Sky to Fall in Love with You - Chapter 57

“Hello!”

‘It’s Xiaoning… What’s wrong? Are you crying?’

I wiped away my tears, but my eyes were like an open faucet, relentlessly letting them fall. “Tao Yi’an! Do… do you have any news about Siqi?”

The other end of the phone fell instantly silent.

He knew.

He knew something had happened to Siqi! And it certainly wasn’t like me, so slow to realize, only finding out after someone posted a link and the internet was filled with discussion and speculation!

Even though Siqi had specifically mentioned in her last post that she might not update for a while, three weeks seemed far too long, didn’t it? And… and the news was published some time ago, especially the foreign news.

‘I didn’t dare to tell you, and I didn’t dare to guess… All I can say is, my sister hasn’t contacted home either.’ Tao Yi’an’s dry, strained voice came through the receiver. ‘The reason I didn’t say anything was because I didn’t want to make you…’

The phone slipped from my grasp, first landing on my thigh, then clattering clearly on the floor.

My Siqi… My Siqi!

‘I’ll keep my promise!’

Liar, liar!

You clearly said you’d keep your promise, that you’d come back safe! You said you’d come back safe!

We agreed to wait for you to come back and take a train trip around the island together, didn’t we?

“We agreed… We agreed!” I cried out, your smiling face burned into my mind, every word you spoke, especially the promise in the video, I remember it all.

We agreed! You said you’d keep your promise and come back to me… But what happened?

What happened?

I didn’t go to school the next day, nor did Ren mian yu .

My phone kept ringing, but I had no mind or energy to answer.

Finally, Senior Sister and Yiting contacted the landlord to open my room door with a spare key.

Seeing that I was still alive, Yiting breathed a huge sigh of relief. Their eyes were wet like mine, though I wasn’t sure if it was out of worry for me or grief for Siqi. Senior Sister seemed to want to say something to me, but she started crying before she could finish a sentence. She just called my name and held me tightly.

I was alive, but my entire being was too numb to think—except about Siqi’s whereabouts.

I don’t believe it.

I still don’t believe Siqi is buried in that pile of white snow. After all, transportation and the internet aren’t that developed in Nepal, or perhaps she was injured and is now receiving treatment in a local hospital…

I imagined many, many possibilities. Perhaps this was just my way of clinging to a shred of hope.

She’s fine, she just doesn’t know where she went, or maybe she temporarily forgot the way home?

When I shared this line of reasoning with Yiting and Senior Sister, they all nodded in agreement. “That’s right! It’s not time to give up hope yet!”

“Your girl must still be alive! Trust me, I’ll bet a lunch on it!”

Is that so? Does what I said make sense? Not finding her doesn’t mean she’s gone. She’s so strong, a girl traveling alone to an unknown and mysterious country, taking on the most difficult explorations and challenges, bringing back beautiful and magnificent landscapes, and moving us with her words.

She is an angel. She is a free-spirited, unrestricted breeze, and a mere pile of white snow cannot bury her. She certainly won’t vanish just like that.

I could only wait, holding onto a hope as weak and small as a candle flame.

I maintained my life under their encouragement and watch; Yiting came to stay with me for a few nights, then Senior Sister, then Yiting again… they were like rotating gatekeepers. I heard Yiting had started dating a handsome guy from the guitar club not long after the semester began. Both of them had boyfriends to attend to, homework to worry about, and jobs to do, yet they all stayed by my side to comfort me out of worry for me.

I sincerely appreciate their company.

I eventually resumed going to school, and after taking a week off, I rejoined Ren mian yu. I have to say, right now I prefer to be as busy as possible, hopefully so busy that I don’t have time to think about Siqi.

Right, a few days after seeing the report, Brother Lin contacted me, saying the publishing house had also received many letters and calls inquiring about Chu. He asked if I had any further news of her. When I said “no,” he sighed heavily.

‘Xiaoning, I’m sorry you have to go through this.’ I guessed he just didn’t know what to say and managed this one sentence.

I replied with an “mm.” Afterward, he mentioned he would find a chance to physically go to Nepal. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I can only tentatively believe it.

When Yiting stayed with me, she would talk a lot about school or celebrity gossip. Senior Sister was quieter and wouldn’t force me to change the subject. If I insisted on talking to her about Siqi, she would talk with me.

Whenever I was idle, I would watch the confession video Siqi recorded, over and over again.

For no other reason than this was the only way I could hear her voice—if she was really gone, this was all I had left.

Senior Sister came out of the bathroom after taking a shower and saw my phone playing Siqi’s voice. She didn’t say much, just slowly climbed into bed. She softly called my name: “Xiao Xiao.”

“She remembered my birthday, she remembered it.” I looked up, rubbing the bridge of my nose, and a few tears immediately dropped. “When I saw this video, I was so surprised… How did she remember? How did she know? None of you knew.”

“After all, she’s your girlfriend. Couples always try every means to give each other surprises and joy, to create romance!”

“She’s actually not romantic at all, but the ideas in her head are extremely wild and imaginative, a very interesting person.”

‘…Don’t cry, okay? I love you.’

The smile vanished from my lips. She loves me, the person in this world who understood me best, who was closest to my heart…

“Our love, once it’s gone, won’t come back…” For some reason, I suddenly thought of this song. “Until now, I’m still silently waiting.”

“Our love… I understand it’s become a burden to you… But I can never let go of the last bit of warmth… The warmth you gave.”

I finished singing the chorus, and Senior Sister’s eyes were already red. “Xiao Xiao…”

I let out a meaningless laugh. “You tell me, is she a big liar? She promised me, she said she would keep her promise…” Before I could finish, Senior Sister lunged forward and hugged me.

“Xiao Xiao… Siqi is gone.”

I froze. This was the first time she had told me the truth to my face.

“She’s gone!” She looked at me, her face streaming with tears just like mine.

“I know you’re sad, you miss her very much, you can’t let her go. So… have a good cry, okay? Don’t hold it in! You’ve been strong enough. The song ‘Forever Picture’ you sang today was so beautiful… so beautiful; she heard it, Xiao Xiao, Siqi heard it!”

My eyes welled up. “Did… did she hear it?”

Senior Sister said with certainty, “She heard it.”

I blinked, then simply closed my eyes, burying my face in Senior Sister’s embrace to have a good cry.

Looking back, it was thanks to Senior Sister’s words that I was able to emerge from the heartbreak in a shorter time.

From the time the incident happened until now, I had been unwilling to accept this possible reality, until Senior Sister spoke the truth… telling me not to hold it in anymore.

Perhaps she is truly buried in that pile of snow, the scenery she loved and admired the most. That beautiful yet dangerous rooftop of the world.

As the weather turned cold, I began to miss the wind and snow we once experienced together on Jade Mountain, the reliable barrier walking in front of me, the warm embrace that encouraged me, her smile… I originally thought we would have another chance to climb a high mountain together, but now it seems to have become a distant dream.

Right, speaking of dreams—

One night in December, after the concert, during the late-night snack session—which I hadn’t attended in a long time—I made a request to them.

“Senior, can I temporarily leave Ren mian yu?”

As soon as I said this, everyone was startled. “Why!”

“Xiao Xiao, what’s wrong?” “Senior Sister sang very well today!” Amidst the pile of surprised voices, Saya Senior Sister just stared at me, as if saying, “Why didn’t you discuss this with me?”

Senior Monk went to serve in the military, and now Ren mian yu has returned to a five-person lineup. Without a keyboardist, and with me playing the ukulele, the musical variations and melodic quality were already somewhat affected, let alone what would happen going from five people to four.

“I know this request is sudden and selfish.” I smiled, meeting the eyes of each of them. “I just… want to try and salvage my grades a bit! Before… I haven’t been studying much, and final exams are just around the corner. I want a little more time to prepare, and also…”

“Also what?” Unexpectedly, it was Senior Jack who pressed the question.

I moistened my lips, bravely meeting their eyes. “I have a wish I want to fulfill, so I need a little more time to prepare.”

“A wish?”

“Yes.” I touched the amethyst inside my turtleneck sweater, and my eyes instantly turned red. “The promise between her and me, I want to use the winter break to travel around the island, by myself.”

They all knew clearly who that “she” was. Even Loser and Junior, who weren’t aware of the inside story, had more or less figured it out after the incident, but they tacitly kept silent.

“If you’ve already made a plan, then of course there’s no problem.” The Senior agreed so readily that I was a bit taken aback!

“I’m serious, whatever wish you want to fulfill, go ahead; after all, we all know how much she means to you.”

“Mm.” I took a deep breath. “Thank you, Senior, thank you…” Besides these two words, I didn’t know how to express my inner gratitude, just like the efforts of Senior Sister and Yiting for me.

“But, after you come back, please be sure to return to our Ren  mianyu lineup.” The Senior smiled, and he said firmly, “It’s a promise! Ren mian yu can’t do without you.”

My eyes were blurry with tears, but I smiled. “I know!”