Crossing the Clouds and Sky to Fall in Love with You - Chapter 14

“Hmm… what do you think, Sister Tao?”

She took a deep breath, then sat down. “I think it’s better not to keep this child.”

It wasn’t a surprise. But just hearing that answer sent a chill down my spine.

“Of course, if you really, really want to give birth to him, that’s another matter. However, you’ll have to face many subsequent problems… I don’t think you’ve talked to your family about this yet, and the school is another issue. You might not be able to continue your studies, and future problems with giving birth and education will certainly arise… But the most important thing is your mindset.”

My chest tightened instantly.

“Are you ready to be a mother?”

I…

Sister Tao gently stroked my face, wiping away the tears at the corners of my eyes with her finger. “If you’re not, giving up might not be a bad thing; I’ve never been pregnant, but I’ve seen many, many women with a new life on the way during my travels. I can understand the feeling of a new life growing inside your body. You must be very hesitant right now, after all, you loved him when you first got together, and you were together; if you could face it together, it might still be called an unexpected blessing, but it’s not like that now. He abandoned you, leaving you to face this difficulty alone.”

“Time may be running out; you need to think carefully; whether to have the baby or not, you need to make a decision.” She finished this passage in a calm and gentle tone, then put on her coat and told me, “I’m going to buy breakfast,” before leaving the room.

Sister Tao’s words hit the nail on the head.

Considering my future… I sat blankly on the edge of the bed for about five minutes, until the phone in my hand vibrated again.

It was him.

Sister Tao’s words echoed in my ears— ‘He abandoned you, leaving you to face it alone…’

I stared woodenly at the screen for a few seconds, and with courage from an unknown source, I slid to answer, slowly moving the receiver to my ear—

He was indeed here to move his things.

This time, Ivy was with him. Even in the cold weather, her clothes were elegant, and her miniskirt was very sexy and alluring. Aside from her crumpled, sour face, she was definitely a beauty who would make a man’s heart skip a beat at first glance.

However, I always felt that Lü Hanjun didn’t fancy her as a person, but merely coveted her connection with the owner of Plato, viewing her as a ladder to gain more opportunities and climb onto a bigger stage.

A beautiful and arrogant ladder, possibly with a few thorns.

As for whether Ivy was willing to become his ladder, that was another matter.

I didn’t want to, nor was I bothered to delve deeper.

I opened the door and let him pack up all his belongings and take them away; I originally thought there wouldn’t be much, but unexpectedly, besides the most obvious guitar and clothes, shoes, a razor, sheet music, a handheld video game console… and other miscellaneous items actually filled two large garbage bags.

Sister Tao came back with breakfast and saw this spectacle. As if to support me, she didn’t rush to enter. Ivy stood outside, watching with her hands in her sleeves, only letting him and another member of Benila go into my room to retrieve the items.

Sister Tao asked if I wanted to go in and check, I said “No,” he wouldn’t steal my things, and besides, the beauty next to him would never let him leave behind any mementos of our time together.

Finally, the packing was finished. He carried one of the bags and came before me, stammering, trying to say something—I guessed it was probably something like an apology or words of comfort? I shook my head, I didn’t need any of that now.

He had long passed the moment when he should have spoken.

I told him to hold out his hand, and I heavily stuffed the guitar necklace into his palm.

“Xiaoning…” This was the first time since yesterday that I found a trace of reluctance belonging to me in his eyes, and it should also be the last.

“Mr. Lü, from now on, we are clear of debts.”

They moved their things downstairs. I stood up straight, watching coldly as they disappeared from my sight.

A warm hand landed on my shoulder from behind, “They’ve left, Xiaoning.”

Yes, they’ve left, forever. I looked at Sister Tao, and her face instantly blurred in my vision. I felt an unprecedented emptiness in my chest. She patted me, and I broke down in tears in her arms again.

He left.

I thought I would laugh happily, thinking that by throwing the necklace back into his hand just now, I could somehow regain a bit of the dignity I had lost.

But I didn’t.

I still lost. I lost this love, lost everything. Except for the pain in my heart and the child in my belly, I got nothing. What’s more, I knew very well that I would eventually have to decide to give up this child.

“Sister Tao… thank you.”

“Don’t say that, I haven’t done anything for you.”

It was enough.

I closed the door and went back to her room with Sister Tao.

Right now, I might still need a little more time before I can calmly face that empty apartment.

I grabbed a pillow, as well as some of my frequently used items; my computer was a desktop, so I couldn’t move it. Aside from needing to return to my own room to shower, I practically lived with Sister Tao like a parasite.

I naturally began a semi-cohabitation life with Sister Tao.

The catalyst for this decision was probably Lü Hanjun, right? He completely moved out of my life, and I walked into another person’s room with an empty, vulnerable heart.

Sister Tao didn’t mind this at all. Even though she didn’t say it, I vaguely felt she welcomed me… this inevitably made me wonder, after all… I’m straight!

But asking would surely make Sister Tao feel that her kindness was being misunderstood… so I didn’t mention a word. Anyway, I actually enjoyed Sister Tao’s company and care. What if she was a lesbian? She was still that gentle and mature good person… It was she who allowed me to temporarily avoid facing a silent, empty room. As long as she wasn’t traveling, I could return to a room where someone greeted me, and I wouldn’t have to be alone in the room.

Loneliness can drive a person crazy.

Especially after getting used to having company.

On Monday, I still had to go to my school classes; I hadn’t eaten or slept well for the past two days, my complexion was poor, and I’d lost a little weight. This couldn’t be hidden from Yiting, who was with me all the time. When she asked why, I just smiled it off.

“Oh, right! Are you still following the Mianmianyu band recently? Or… have you switched to being a fan of A-Jun’s new band?”

This unintentional question easily tore at my heart. My face paled, and I shook my head, “No, neither. For now… I won’t listen.”

“Is that so? That’s too bad. The new member who joined Mianmianyu is pretty good… Speaking of which! A-Jun recently released a new song! It was tailored to his own unique style! The reviews online are pretty good, as his girlfriend, you…”

“Yiting!” I forcefully cut her off. She was stunned. I pursed my lips and took a deep breath. “Please, don’t ever mention his name in front of me again!”

She leaned back, seemingly frightened. “W-What happened to you two?”

I looked away, “I’ll tell you slowly later… Anyway, don’t mention it again, please.”

“Oh… alright. I think I get it…”

I didn’t bother to find out how much Yiting knew, as I couldn’t deal with too much right now. All I wanted was to completely sever ties with him.

Even when attending class, I still couldn’t concentrate on my studies; Senior Saya and others who knew the inside story hadn’t given up trying to comfort me. I declined, after all, I didn’t know whether they were accomplices or bystanders in the whole matter… not to mention, realizing that I was already pregnant made the psychological adjustment especially difficult.

Unable to concentrate, I decided to skip school.

Christmas and New Year’s were quietly approaching. Walking on campus, even though the tree branches hinted at a desolate atmosphere, most people’s faces were happy, filled with a joyful holiday spirit; there was still some time until the final exams, so they could rack their brains to plan their upcoming vacation… as a final frenzy before the exams.

What can I do now?

I don’t know, so I can only retreat into my shell.

Back in Sister Tao’s room, she wasn’t there; I remembered her saying she would only return in the late afternoon today because she had to discuss work.

‘Aside from my camera, you can use everything else.’ She told me this… Does this mean I can use the computer? That’s really generous.

For a woman, Sister Tao’s belongings were astonishingly few; I remember when she moved into this apartment, she alone was enough to move all her luggage; was it because she was a backpacker? With few belongings, she could come and go freely.

That’s right! Sister Tao said someone wanted to help her publish a book now that she’s back in Taiwan… She didn’t take her computer with her, could there be some clues hidden inside? I still don’t know where she went or what kind of content she wrote.

I immediately dismissed that thought… Yu Xiaoning, you can’t be so despicable. She trusts you wholeheartedly, how can you harbor the idea of secretly probing into her privacy… Ugh!

For no reason, a burning sensation shot up from my stomach into my esophagus… I felt uncomfortable, accompanied by waves of nausea and a feeling of sickness… I dropped my bag and rushed into the bathroom, throwing up violently into the toilet!

I hadn’t eaten lunch… the only thing to throw up was probably half of the rice ball I had for breakfast, but even after throwing it all up, that constant surge of nausea still bothered me; I kept dry heaving a few times until the burning sensation in my stomach slowly disappeared… Oh god! It’s so painful! I clung to the toilet, gasping for breath, finally managing to get up and rinse my mouth.

Wait a minute… Is this morning sickness?

I immediately forgot my previous struggle and turned on Sister Tao’s computer to look for any signs and solutions related to “morning sickness”… This is a sign of early pregnancy, after four weeks… So, the start of “morning sickness” means the baby has been conceived for about four weeks or even longer?

How much time do I have left to hesitate?

After a long period of stunned silence, I typed another string of words into the search bar with a trembling hand…