Are All You Straight Men Like This? - Chapter 23

The corridor lights were quiet and dim. Ye Ran stood in a daze, his mind completely blank.

“You… you had someone post that?”

Shen Shi nodded. “Mhm.”

“Why?” Ye Ran became increasingly bewildered. He had worked so hard to keep the secret of Shen Shi’s orientation, yet Shen Shi didn’t seem to care at all.

Most of the gay men around him were like him: cautious, careful, and guarded in their contact with any person of the same sex, fearing they might make the other person uncomfortable. Even regarding their orientation, everyone tacitly kept it a secret. Society seemed tolerant, but in reality, rumors and gossip were always present.

The general public still associated “homosexuality” with chaos, darkness, and abnormality. But Shen Shi was different. Shen Shi was a star, handsome and gifted; he had already gained the favor of Finance Department professors and would likely be working on major projects by his sophomore or junior year.

If these rumors spread now, how would Shen Shi develop in the future?

“Ye Ran,” his chaotic thoughts were suddenly interrupted. Ye Ran looked up. Under the soft hallway light, Shen Shi looked down at him quietly. His eyes were a pure, calm black. He said gently, “Everything was my own choice. It has nothing to do with you. You don’t need to worry for me.”

Ye Ran’s lips moved, and after a long while, he managed a faint “Oh.”

How could it have nothing to do with him? If it weren’t for him, Shen Shi might not have come into contact with gay people—or gained trust in them—for a very long time. He wouldn’t have… changed his orientation. Perhaps a future Shen Shi might still have become gay, but it certainly wouldn’t be now.

It wouldn’t have happened under his invisible influence.

Ye Ran felt a heaviness in his chest; guilt pressed down on him until he could barely breathe. He pursed his lips and said to Shen Shi, “If you ever need my help with anything, tell me anytime.”

“I’m going back now,” he said. “…Goodnight.”

He turned toward the darkness, stepping back into his own room. The door closed, blocking Shen Shi’s gaze.

The phone on the bed flashed repeatedly. Ye Ran walked over and found it was a group message from the club president:

[—Assemble downstairs at 10:00 AM sharp tomorrow. We can head back to campus.]

The “Wolf” at the Door

Late at night, Ye Ran still couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned, constantly checking the campus forum. Threads were popping up one after another, building “high towers” of discussion about whether Shen Shi was truly gay. There were even anonymous accounts asking for Shen Shi’s contact information in various threads.

— [Detailed analysis: Is Shen Shi actually gay?]

— [Offering a high price for Shen Shi’s contact info, urgent!]

— [Can people from other schools stay off the Jing University forum? This is our internal business, okay?]

A message from Xiao Pang followed, his tone noticeably cautious. —Ye Ran, are you asleep? Ye Ran replied: [I’m awake.] —Good. —So, did you see the campus forum? What’s going on with Shen Shi… why did it explode so suddenly?

Since they shared a dorm, Xiao Pang and Shu-ge would find out the truth sooner or later. Ye Ran: [What the forum says is correct.]

The other side went silent for a few seconds before a string of messages arrived. —!!! —!!!! —Then are you okay? Ye Ran was taken aback: [Why wouldn’t I be okay?] Xiao Pang: [Gosh, I mean, you and Shen Shi don’t have anything going on, right? Now the forum is saying that since Shen Shi hasn’t come out to clarify, it proves he really is gay. They guess he probably has a boyfriend and decided to use this chance to go public.]

Faintly understanding Xiao Pang’s implication, Ye Ran couldn’t help but smile: [There’s nothing between Shen Shi and me.] Xiao Pang: [That’s good.] —The forum made it sound so realistic, it gave Shu-ge and me a heart attack. —What time are you guys coming back tomorrow? We can go out for a meal together. Ye Ran thought for a bit. [Around 1 or 2 PM.] Xiao Pang: [OK, waiting for you.]

Xiao Pang’s normal attitude eased Ye Ran’s mood. He flipped over on the bed and looked out the window. The rain was torrential, and the fine, dense water marks blurred the glass, making it hard to see the distant landscape. Mount Lianwu was steep and majestic; the tall, thick forest on the back of the mountain looked exceptionally quiet in the night, like a heavy ink-wash painting.

Knock. A sudden knock at the door interrupted Ye Ran’s thoughts. He froze and turned his head. Knock. Another sound. Confirming someone was there, Ye Ran immediately sat up and ran to open the door.

In the corridor, the dim yellow wall lamps were on. The thick, clean grey squirrel-skin carpet minimized all noise. “Shen Shi?” Ye Ran looked blankly at Shen Shi, who had suddenly appeared. It was nearly 1:00 AM, the time when everything is silent. “Is something wrong?”

Shen Shi was wearing deep black loungewear. His dark hair was a bit messy, and he looked somewhat tired. “Sorry for disturbing you so late,” he said in a low voice.

“It’s fine. What’s wrong?” Ye Ran was a bit worried; Shen Shi’s expression didn’t look good.

Shen Shi said, “Ye Ran, there really is something I need your help with.” He handed his phone to Ye Ran. Ye Ran took it in confusion, only to be met with an endless list of “New Friend” notifications on WeChat. All sorts of strangers were writing either explicit or suggestive messages in the application reasons.

— [Hey handsome, give me a “gay” chance?]— [A top-tier “Heavenly Vegetable” (Tiantai) of the 1-circle. Thin waist, soft legs, good at “vocalizing.” Hook up?]

— [Willing to be a ‘0’ for love. Can show physical exam report before meeting, zero diseases. Want to try?]

— [City Grass, I’ve come for your reputation. Free, no diseases, willing to be a long-term FWB. How about it?]

The “New Job” Upgrade

Ye Ran’s pupils gradually shrank. He felt a surge of anger, instinctively rejecting each request he read. With a furrowed brow, he didn’t even look at the remaining dozens of requests, guessing exactly what their intentions were. He had guessed Shen Shi’s popularity in the gay community, but he still hadn’t expected… these people were too much.

Shen Shi watched his movements calmly without any intention of stopping him. He looked down and said nonchalantly, “Accounts on other social apps seem to have been leaked as well. I haven’t had a moment of peace tonight.”

Ye Ran was truly angry. “Who leaked it?”

“Not sure,” Shen Shi said. “Some of the people adding me are classmates I’m not very close with.”

In university, there are endless apps and groups. The people in those groups were a mixed bag. When they first started school, Shen Shi’s social accounts had been exposed; supposedly, they were all explicitly priced, with his WeChat QR code going for as much as 50 yuan. Eventually, Shen Shi became so annoyed that he simply turned off the “Add Friends” function. But now that life was on track and many courses required group cooperation, Shen Shi had restarted the function.

Now that his orientation was exposed, gay men were far more crazed creatures than the girls who simply admired a handsome guy.

Ye Ran pursed his lips. Shen Shi took the phone back and pulled up a chat window. It was likely an older senior who had added Shen Shi in a freshman group long ago. The contact note was still “Senior Zhang,” but the messages sent were truly hard to look at.

— Shen Shi, I only just found out you’re actually gay too.

— Want to play? A lot of people in our circle are interested in you. “1” resources are scarce right now. What type do you like? Do you need me to help you pick?

— There’s a mixer at ‘Street Corner’ bar this Saturday. Coming? You just became gay, right? I never felt anything from you before; I’ll introduce you to the scene.

The last message was a resentful outburst from “Senior Zhang” after being ignored by Shen Shi. —Shen Shi, don’t think you’re actually hot shit. —If it weren’t for your “single” gimmick, you think any little gay guy would actually want to find you? Does a greenhorn like you even know how to perform in bed?

Ye Ran felt a burst of absurdity and fury, his fingertips whitening as he gripped the phone. He couldn’t imagine how this senior could speak to Shen Shi in such a condescending, insulting tone. Even if Shen Shi was gay, he was absolutely not the type to play around recklessly without restraint!

“This senior…” Ye Ran even felt that calling him “Senior” was an insult to the word. “This person, do you remember who he is?”

Shen Shi leaned against the wall, looking down at him intently. “I don’t remember. This was his nickname.”

So it wasn’t even a note Shen Shi had set. That made it hard to track.

Ye Ran’s lips thinned. His previous guilt was replaced by current fury. He was sweating from anger; his dark hair and pale skin contrasted with the slight redness around his eyes. His eyelashes fluttered constantly in a rare display of rage.

Finally remembering that Shen Shi had come to him for help, Ye Ran took a deep breath and tried to maintain his composure. “What help? If I can help, I definitely will.”

Ye Ran assumed Shen Shi wanted him to help find the person who sold his contact info. Jing University was huge, so it might be hard, but with a bit of tracking, it wasn’t impossible—

“I want you to pretend to be my boyfriend,” Shen Shi said.

Ye Ran: “…” Ye Ran: “…………”

The words were like a sudden thunderclap, leaving Ye Ran completely stunned. “…Huh?” A full minute passed before he could squeeze out a single word from his shock.

Had Shen Shi just said something impossible? Shen Shi: a man who went from straight to gay to finding a boyfriend as if he were on 8x speed.

Shen Shi seemed to sense his thoughts. Unhurriedly, he repeated: “Ye Ran, can you pretend to be my boyfriend for a period of time?”

Ye Ran: “…” Ye Ran tremulously held onto the door, feeling the burden on his shoulders suddenly become as heavy as Mount Tai. “Pre-pretend to be your boyfriend?” What a trendy way to play.

“Mhm,” Shen Shi said. “Looking at these chat records, I realized these people are harassing me so frequently because I’m currently single.”

Ye Ran also thought of “Senior Zhang’s” last sentence. He was bewildered—what was the current atmosphere of the gay circle? Being single could actually be used as a “gimmick.”

“If they knew I had a boyfriend, they should—” Shen Shi paused, seemingly choosing a suitable adjective, “—no longer dare to harass me so unscrupulously.”

Ye Ran still found it a bit hard to understand, but what Shen Shi said wasn’t without reason. Especially considering that 50% of the predicament Shen Shi faced was because of him, he was dying of guilt. He began to consider it according to Shen Shi’s words. After a moment, he asked conflictedly, “Then what do I need to do?”

“I will likely announce your identity,” Shen Shi said. He looked up slightly, observing his expression. “Do you mind?”

This was necessary. Otherwise, those people would surely think a “boyfriend” was just an excuse Shen Shi was using to brush them off.

“I have no problem.” Ye Ran coughed, feeling a strange sense of embarrassment. After the “Test if Shen Shi is gay” mission ended, he had actually managed to find “re-employment.” He had now been upgraded to Shen Shi’s “boyfriend.” This speed…

Truly worthy of being the “boyfriend” of an 8x speed man.

Shen Shi nodded. “Perhaps when others pester me, I will also need some cooperation from you.”

Cooperation? Ye Ran thought about it; it would probably be things like “declaring sovereignty” or “discouraging rivals.” Although it was a bit difficult for him, Ye Ran clenched his fists and decided to start watching similar dramas tonight to learn.

“That should be all,” Shen Shi said. Ye Ran couldn’t help but sigh in relief. It didn’t sound too difficult. His role as a “boyfriend” seemed no different from being a human prop.

Ye Ran: “Okay, I understand.” Having said that, he suddenly thought of something. He ran back into his room and returned in a few seconds. His soft, light grey loungewear was a bit messy, but his expression was very serious. He opened the memo on his phone and said to Shen Shi, “How about you say it again… I’ll write it down.”

“Okay,” Shen Shi looked at him. No extra emotion could be seen in those narrow, dark phoenix eyes, but his voice seemed to hold a subtle, deep meaning. “I’ll be troubling you in the future.”

“It’s nothing,” Ye Ran said. His eyelids were thin, his eyes narrow and long, and his gaze was pure and clean. Thinking that he could help Shen Shi, the mood that had been filled with unease, guilt, and sadness all night became lighter. He couldn’t help but comfort Shen Shi: “Don’t worry, I’m not afraid of trouble.”

2-Bent, 2-Straight

The chaotic night finally passed. Ye Ran lay on the bed, the large, sunken mattress enveloping his body like a light marshmallow. His nerves, which had been tense all night, relaxed, and he gradually entered a semi-dreaming state.

He woke up suddenly because of the constant flashing light of his phone. Ye Ran’s head felt heavy; he picked up the phone with a slow reaction and looked at the message from Xiao Pang—

—Ye Ran! —What does Shen Shi’s WeChat status mean?

What did what mean? Ye Ran was a bit confused. He clicked on Shen Shi’s WeChat profile. The next second, a line of small text caught his eye:

Status: Occupied. Do not disturb.

Ye Ran: “?” Ye Ran: “???”

A jolt went through him, and he was instantly wide awake. Worthy of Shen Shi. From going straight to gay, to finding a “boyfriend,” to going public—he truly was on 8x speed. Ye Ran’s ten-plus years of gay life hadn’t been as eventful as the three months he’d known Shen Shi. In just three months, he had probably experienced what many gay people experience in a lifetime.

He was filled with emotion. Xiao Pang was still desperately poking him. —What’s going on? Suddenly changing the status? —Shen Shi can really hide things. He kept it so airtight, you didn’t hear any rumors at all? —Who is the guy? Ye Ran, do you know him?

Ye Ran moved his fingers. Under Xiao Pang’s continuous questioning, he typed an embarrassed reply. [You should know him too.]

Xiao Pang: [!!!] [For real? I know him? I’m a shut-in, I never leave the house. How many people could I possibly know—]

[It’s me.] Ye Ran said honestly.

The other side went silent instantly. A dead silence. Ye Ran was a bit worried: [Xiao Pang, are you still there?] [Xiao Pang?]

After a long, long time, the phone screen finally flashed. Xiao Pang sent a message. —It’s nothing. —It’s just a sense of “fate,” like it was meant to be. Ye Ran: ?

Xiao Pang: [I knew it. The true meaning of our room number 211 is clearly 2-bent, 2-straight.] [From now on, whoever dares to say our dorm is a gay nest, I will never forgive them!!!]

Ten minutes later, just as Ye Ran was feeling drowsy, Xiao Pang sent another questioning message—tentative, hesitant, cautious, yet unable to hide his gossip-hungry nature. —Ye Ran. —Are you asleep?

Ye Ran picked up his phone in a daze. [Mhm?] Xiao Pang: [Well, I really couldn’t sleep just now and discussed it with Shu-ge. Between you and Shen Shi… who is the ‘1’ and who is the ‘0’?]

Ye Ran: “?” Ye Ran: “???”

Ye Ran was startled. The door to a new world that he had never touched in over a decade opened slowly before him with a “BOOM.” Between him and Shen Shi… who was the 1 and who was the 0?

With trembling fingertips, Ye Ran opened Baidu and hesitantly typed in the search bar: How to tell if a gay man is a 1 or a 0?

Among the countless search results, the most prominent was a “Sexuality Encyclopedia.” Ye Ran fell into deep thought. I’ll trust you one last time.

He clicked in, his ears slightly red. There were several testing methods arranged neatly.

【In today’s diversified society, same-sex relationships are also more diverse. Traditional methods of judging 1 or 0 are no longer applicable. A true 1 or 0 is not determined by body type, personality, or any external factors, but by the following points—】

1. A standard ‘1’ will be full of “protective desire” for the little gay guys around them.Ye Ran thought of his “protective desire” for his childhood friend all these years: Yes, I am.
2. A standard ‘1’ is independent, self-reliant, gentle, and attentive.Ye Ran thought of the evaluations many people had given him: Yes, I am that too.
3. A standard ‘1’ will make people feel a sense of security.Ye Ran thought of Shen Shi, who had just come to him helplessly for help: Yes, I am definitely that.

Confirmed. He was a 1.

Ye Ran looked up calmly, lowered the temperature of his ears, and found the chat box with Xiao Pang. He said with certainty— [I am the 1.]

Xiao Pang: [!] [Thumbs up][Thumbs up][Thumbs up] [Confetti][Confetti][Confetti] [Ye Xiao Ran, you’re freaking awesome!]