After My Death, I Became a Heartless Madman - Chapter 8

Song Shizhou had never thought about death.

She had lived a resilient life. Though the first twenty years had been plagued with misfortune, she had never considered ending it all. After all, why should she punish herself for others’ mistakes?

But now that she was truly dead, she felt oddly unsettled.

In her dazed state—perhaps her spirit hadn’t yet dissipated, she saw a few people carrying a stretcher past her. A doctor approached the crowd gathered nearby and said,

“Are you family? Where are the family members?”

“No need for resuscitation. There are no vital signs.”

Song Shizhou heard that.

No vital signs. Well, she was glad. She had seen those medical dramas where they shocked patients back to life, the defibrillator pressing against the chest, jolting them violently. It looked painful.

She didn’t want that kind of pain.

Pointless pain.

Her thoughts wandered. Sister Yu would probably be devastated when she heard the news. She had never approved of Song Shizhou’s relationship with Miss Bai. It was Song Shizhou who had stubbornly ignored her advice, even driving her away to the Third District in anger.

And what about Madam Song Lanyi? Aside from Sister Yu, how would she react? Probably relief. With such a disappointing daughter gone, she’d likely be overjoyed.

And Miss Bai—what would her reaction be?

As a child, Song Shizhou had loved reading novels. The protagonists in those stories always had dramatic reactions upon learning of their lover’s death. The cold-hearted ones would weep, the proud ones would kneel and beg, the unflappable ones would cough up blood—utterly losing their composure.

So what about Bai Ruowei? Would she shed tears for her? Would she weep, would she grieve?

Song Shizhou didn’t want to know. Didn’t dare to know.

The sensation of death was so prolonged, the silence so absolute that her mind began to wander. Scenes from her past flickered like a revolving lantern, finally settling on a cold, desolate shade of green.

Pale green, radiant green—the color sharpened until it took form. A pair of beautiful, light green eyes appeared before her, filled with impatience and confusion. Song Shizhou froze.

She could move again.

Song Shizhou’s eyes widened as her hands pressed down instinctively, sinking into something soft beneath her.

Not the shattered cockpit from the explosion, nor the sterile emergency room reeking of antiseptic. This was a bedroom with a plush, luxurious bed.

Had she been reborn?

But where was this?

The room was unlit, the dim glow of moonlight spilling in from the balcony. It was the hour for ballroom dancing, the lazy, seductive notes of jazz drifting through the air.

“Mmm…”

A soft, confused whimper drew her attention. Song Shizhou looked down to see a woman curled beneath her like a restless little creature, her entire body radiating vulnerability and submission.

It was,  Bai Ruowei.

Song Shizhou’s hands trembled.

She had truly been reborn—and returned to the night she marked Bai Ruowei.

The woman beneath her had just been kissed on the scent gland, the sharp fangs of an Enigma pressing against it, pheromones swirling around her ears. The strange sensations in her body left Bai Ruowei bewildered. She distinctly remembered that the person before her was also an Alpha so why,  why was she reacting like this?

Lost in confusion, Miss Bai grabbed her collar, but due to her weakened state, the accusatory gesture came off more like a coquettish plea.

Her lips trembled, bewildered and pitiful.

“What did you do to me?”

The same domineering tone sent a shiver down Song Shizhou’s spine. The pheromones in the room were so thick they felt suffocating, rendering her almost immobile.

Should she start over? Should she let the same tragedy unfold again?

No. She refused. Song Shizhou steeled herself inwardly. Yes, she had been delusional, wishful. She and Miss Bai were never meant to be. Miss Bai deserved better—she deserved someone who truly loved her, someone who cherished her wholeheartedly.

With that thought, Song Shizhou wrenched herself free from Bai Ruowei’s grasp and rolled off the bed.

The movement was ruthless. Even in the throes of her heat, Bai Ruowei’s strength was formidable. She clung to Song Shizhou’s sleeve, refusing to let go, struggling to form a coherent sentence.

“Where are you going? Song Shizhou,  don’t leave.”

Bai Ruowei clutched at her collar, unwilling to release her. Pheromones clouded her mind, leaving her confused and lost. Why was the Alpha who had been kissing her moments ago now pulling away? Was it because she wasn’t good enough?

A sudden wave of grievance washed over Miss Bai, as if she had endured some unspeakable torment. Every inch of her ached. She shook her head, her consciousness blurring at the edges.

The next second, she was pinned back onto the bed.

The plush mattress dipped dramatically under their weight. Bai Ruowei’s wrists were seized in Song Shizhou’s iron grip, leaving behind angry red marks.

Song Shizhou held her down firmly.

If Bai Ruowei wanted it, fine—she would give it to her. Completely. She had a heart too; she could be hurt, she could feel pain and sorrow. A dark impulse surged uncontrollably within her. She wanted to mark Bai Ruowei just like in her past life, to control her with pheromones, to manipulate her heat, to grant her just a sliver of relief when she was on the verge of collapse—to make her beg, to turn her into a wreck who couldn’t survive without her. She would repay every ounce of suffering Bai Ruowei had inflicted upon her, with interest.

She wanted Bai Ruowei to feel that same agony.

Miss Bai didn’t understand why this Alpha had suddenly abandoned her earlier gentleness. All she knew was that her head throbbed harder, her thoughts growing hazier. An inexplicable urge to yield rose within her, though she didn’t know why.

It felt like she had missed something important.

With great effort, she propped herself up and pressed a kiss to Song Shizhou’s neck. The faint scent of osmanthus filled Song Shizhou’s senses, vibrant and intoxicating. The kiss trailed from her neck to her lips, then deeper—their tongues entwined in a feverish dance, drenched in raw desire. Bai Ruowei felt as though she were being unraveled, even though,  even though she was an Alpha.

Song Shizhou was not actually an Alpha. She was an underdeveloped Emigna—a gender even rarer than Alphas. Those with this gender gained stronger mutation abilities and could mark any Alpha, turning them into their personal Omega.

But due to Song Shizhou’s underdeveloped glands, she could only mark an Alpha with whom she shared an exceptionally high compatibility.

Sharp canines pressed against Bai Ruowei’s gland, and she felt the world spin around her. The unfamiliar sensation filled her with fear, yet also a faint sense of anticipation. She was eager to see what would happen next, as if it had already occurred, giving her the courage to seek a kiss. But the next second, Song Shizhou suddenly pushed her away.

Bai Ruowei’s eyes widened in disbelief.

The impeccably dressed Emigna took a few steps back, a mocking smile on her lips. She couldn’t do this. She didn’t want to do this. She refused to ruin her life again in a moment of anger, nor did she expect these people to ever repent.

It simply wasn’t worth it.

Amid the struggle, a glass was knocked to the floor.

Outside the room, Li Ningzhi stood drowsily while Mia idly scrolled through her phone. But at the sound of commotion inside, both immediately tensed.

Mia promptly knocked on the door.

“Miss Bai, is everything alright? Do you need me to come in?”

The hotel where Bai Ruowei’s welcome banquet was held belonged to the Song family. Song Shizhou was familiar with every guest room here and knew exactly where the hidden doors were. But she also knew how fast Mia could react and how many of Bai Ruowei’s informants were lurking nearby.

More importantly, she didn’t want to flee in disgrace, as if running away.

Receiving no response, Mia quickly rammed the door. But before she could force it open, the door swung inward first.

Miss Song stood there, perfectly composed and clear-headed.

Mia eyed her suspiciously. “What’s going on?”

“Miss Bai had too much to drink. As the hotel’s manager, I stayed with her to rest.”

Song Shizhou gestured toward the sobering soup on the tea table.

Mia scoffed.

“An hour ago, it was Miss Song who invited Miss Bai to drink together. Everyone saw it. How did it suddenly become Miss Bai getting drunk?”

The person on the bed slowly opened her eyes, and Mia abandoned her interrogation of Song Shizhou. She crouched beside Bai Ruowei and asked softly,

“Miss Bai, did you know this person before?”

Bai Ruowei’s mind was in complete disarray, unable to recall anything.

She looked up in confusion. Today was indeed her first time meeting this Miss Song. The woman had confessed to her under the influence of alcohol. New to the Inner City and intrigued by the secrets of its elite families, Bai Ruowei had seen Miss Song as a potential breakthrough and agreed to accompany her to the terrace.

Then, they had ended up kissing uncontrollably.

As for whether she had known Song Shizhou before, someone answered the question before she could.

“No.”

Song Shizhou’s firm tone made Bai Ruowei freeze. She stared in disbelief, a puzzled expression on her face.

“If you didn’t know each other, why did Miss Song insist on drinking with Miss Bai? And why—”

Why had she confessed to Bai Ruowei while drunk?

Mia wasn’t sure if she should voice this question. She tried to silently consult Bai Ruowei with her eyes, only to find Bai Ruowei’s gaze firmly locked on Song Shizhou.

There seemed to be some untold story behind that look, and the sorrowful expression made Mia gasp inwardly.

Why did she specifically ask Bai Ruowei to drink together.

In their past life, it was because he had fallen for her at first sight, smitten by her beauty, that he invited her for a drink. Song Shizhou gave a bitter laugh—that couldn’t possibly be the reason now.

“Perhaps because…”

Song Fengyu’s words echoed in her mind, and she thought it made for a decent excuse.

“Perhaps because Miss Bai resembles an old acquaintance of mine. Missing this person, I was suddenly moved to invite Miss Bai for a drink.”

The moment these words were spoken, Bai Ruowei felt every hair on her body stand on end.

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