After My Death, I Became a Heartless Madman - Chapter 45

After a heavy rainstorm, winter in the Inner City finally came to an end.

Beside the cobblestone path were two rows of sparse shrubs. A flash of bright color flickered, the hue of car taillights, glaringly conspicuous in the thick darkness.

Assistant Zheng stood by the car, handing an overcoat to Shizhou.

The sound of footsteps against the ground was unusually loud after the downpour. Even when deliberately softened, the faint rustling could still be heard.

Perhaps it was the sound of Miss Bai pacing back and forth.

The sound of her hesitation, wavering and afraid to step forward.

Assistant Zheng drove Shizhou home. The Snow Pavilion slowly receded from view, its snow-white roof soon swallowed by the darkness, finally clearing her line of sight. The mountain road was rarely traveled by vehicles, yet Little Zheng still drove at a leisurely pace. Song Shizhou rolled down the window, letting the wind rush in freely.

Her heart, too, felt a little lighter.

The cool, damp air seemed to wash away all her restlessness and agitation, finally allowing her to calm down.

To settle the turbulent emotions that had been churning inside her.

A wisp of fragrance drifted by the scent of osmanthus clinging to her from Miss Bai.

The crisp aroma lingered at her fingertips. In a daze, she seemed to see those eyes again trembling yet unwavering.

Song Shizhou’s hand trembled slightly as well.

Her brows lowered faintly, irritated by how often Bai Ruowei crossed her mind. She rolled the window down further, letting more and more of the night wind pour in. The faint osmanthus fragrance was soon scattered.

Yet a stubborn trace of it remained, clinging obstinately to her fingertips.

The cool scent had thinned, carrying instead an unexpected hint of sweetness.

Song Shizhou paused, then slowly rested her hand beside her.

The Snow Pavilion was far from where she lived, and the drive would take a while. Little Zheng turned on the car stereo, an unfamiliar foreign song played, a melancholic female voice crooning softly in the dark, the husky tone all the more intoxicating.

With her ears filled by the music, her chaotic heart finally found a moment to breathe.

……

The heavy rain had persisted for days, and it wasn’t until after the weekend that the weather gradually cleared. Due to the inconvenience of commuting, Song Shizhou hadn’t reported to the porcelain workshop these past few days.

She was also still shaken by the accident from her past life. Perhaps having died once made her cherish her life all the more.

She had spent a long time explaining her absence to Little Sun, struggling to find the right words. Fortunately, Sun Mengchen wasn’t one to dwell on things and didn’t press for deeper reasons.

Today’s weather was lovely, a delayed spring offering a warm, sunny day. Song Shizhou sat on a solid wooden chair, quietly observing the master’s movements.

“There are currently three common techniques for coloring porcelain: Overglaze, Underglaze, and Inglaze.”

The master held a bisque piece, patiently explaining.

“Glaze is a thin medium on the surface of porcelain, enhancing its strength and stability. That’s why the surface of porcelain is smooth and translucent.”

The master was a middle-aged woman who appeared meticulous. She wore a lotus-hued neo-Chinese dress, yet her voice was gentle.

“There are many ways to distinguish Overglaze, Underglaze, and Inglaze. Specifically, you can…”

Though she was already familiar with these basics, she still listened attentively.

Perhaps sensing Song Shizhou’s focused expression, the Master spoke with equal passion. After introducing several common coloring techniques, the Teacher assigned her a task,

“Since Miss Song has some prior experience with coloring, you can independently complete a porcelain coloring project over the next few days as my assessment of your skills.”

She continued,

“This will also help me gauge your level.”

Song Shizhou nodded,

“Understood, Teacher.”

After the Teacher left, the remaining time was hers to manage. Song Shizhou retrieved a smooth, long-necked bisque and began sketching the design on paper, matching the vase’s shape.

A gracefully poised flower bloomed under her brush petals, stamen, then leaves.

Creation was supposed to be a calming activity, yet for some reason, her hand trembled slightly. By the end, the ink lines had become noticeably messy.

Little Sun appeared behind her at some point.

Nearly ten years older than Shizhou, she had amber-colored curls cascading over her shoulders, exuding the aura of a consummate corporate professional.

Crossing her arms, she asked,

“It’s been raining for days, I was starting to grow mold. Today’s weather is so nice, the sun is shining bright. Why do you seem so distracted?”

She glanced at the draft paper,

“The first few strokes were decent, but the later ones are so sloppy.”

“Little sister, something on your mind?”

Perhaps there was.

Setting the draft aside, she considered that the Master’s assignment wouldn’t be reviewed for another two weeks. Since she couldn’t focus now, it might be better to take a break and give herself some time off.

“Nothing’s bothering me. I’ve just been a little tired lately. Mengchen-jie, are you free later? There’s a new hot pot place nearby, I heard the reviews are pretty good. My treat.”

Sun Mengchen shrugged,

“Sure, I’m never one to turn down a free meal.”

She tapped on her phone,

“Let’s invite Xiao Su along too. She’s been asking about you lately. She said you’ve been so busy with work that she didn’t dare even glance your way, afraid of disturbing you.”

The hot pot restaurant wasn’t far. Sun Mengchen drove, and they arrived in just ten minutes. It was a rare sunny day, and by evening, the place was packed, every spacious table in the open seating area occupied.

As luck would have it, Sun Mengchen happened to know the owner. After exchanging a few pleasantries, a server led them to a private room.

Both Little Sun and Su Ziqing loved spicy food, while Song Shizhou couldn’t handle heat at all. So, they enthusiastically ordered a Yin-Yang Hot Pot to accommodate everyone.

“This place has a lot of signature dishes Spicy Beef, rabbit heads, black fish slices, all famous. Order whatever you like,” Sun Mengchen said.

Before she could finish, Su Ziqing burst in.

Late as usual, she carried three cups of boba tea as a peace offering.

The moment she saw Song Shizhou, Su Ziqing exclaimed dramatically,

“Shizhou! It’s been so long, I’ve missed you to death!”

Sun Mengchen chuckled, “Why does that sound like a skit opening line?”

Su Ziqing stuck out her tongue.

The restaurant served dishes quickly, and soon the round table was laden with plates. Su Ziqing was a chatterbox, ensuring the conversation never lulled, which ironically allowed Song Shizhou to eat in peace.

Little Sun shot Su Ziqing a meaningful look.

Su Ziqing blinked blankly.

“Shizhou, what are you thinking about? Why haven’t you said a word?”

Sun Mengchen set her cup down on the table.

“She’s been like this all day. Since morning, it’s like she’s lost her soul, no idea what’s on her mind. And now, at this hour, she’s still in the same state.”

Su Ziqing chimed in sympathetically,

“It can’t be that Ms. Song Lanyi is giving you trouble again, is it?”

Song Shizhou shook her head.

That wasn’t it.

But there was indeed something weighing on her, something she couldn’t shake off.

She put her chopsticks down. She’d accidentally bitten into a chili pepper earlier, and her lips had immediately turned red. She didn’t like this stinging sensation, it wasn’t exactly painful, nor was it unbearable, but it kept her from focusing.

Frowning, she carefully chose her words.

“I just want to know, why some people act indifferent about things they clearly care deeply about.”

Perhaps because she didn’t expect an answer, she vaguely glossed over the details of what was troubling her. She hadn’t intended for Sun Mengchen or Su Ziqing to solve this for her after all, she was the one who’d been entangled with Bai Ruowei for four years.

She thought she understood Miss Bai to some extent, yet somehow, she also didn’t.

Tendrils of steam lazily rose between them, blurring the faces of the others across the table. Sun Mengchen clicked her tongue.

“That’s hard to say. Different people have different reasons. Shizhou, who is this person? What’s their personality? How important is this matter to them? If the conditions are this vague, we can’t really give any useful advice.”

Song Shizhou paused.

“I can’t really explain the specifics either. It’s fine, Mengchen-jie, just treat it as a story. I’m just overthinking things.”

Su Ziqing wasn’t particularly interested in their strange conversation. She had just dropped a plate of tripe into the pot and was now staring intently at the bubbling broth.

Sun Mengchen chuckled.

“Actually, the person you’re talking about sounds pretty strange. Think about it if someone cares about something, it’s usually because the outcome isn’t settled yet, so their attention stays fixed on it. If it were already decided, why would they still worry?”

“But then they go and act like they don’t care at all. Doesn’t that mean they’re trying to prove it doesn’t matter to them? But if it doesn’t matter, why care in the first place?”

“They’re inherently contradictory.”

Song Shizhou fell silent.

Perhaps Miss Bai really was this contradictory.

Perhaps this was just how she was contradictory, yet still caring about her.

Though they’d ordered a Yin-Yang Hot Pot, Shizhou had still tried the spicy broth. The result of her boldness was that she could barely eat anything before the heat became too much.

After dinner, Su Ziqing asked if she had any plans.

“Back to the workshop. Overtime. Keep working on Teacher’s assignment.”

Su Ziqing pouted.

“Shizhou, you’re so diligent. You were like this back in school too.”

They parted reluctantly. Sun Mengchen pulled up in her car and called out to them.

“Come on, I’ll drive you.”

During the ride, they chatted idly again. Sun Mengchen asked how her search for a shop location was going.

“Shizhou, skill alone isn’t enough. If you want to open a studio, the location is just as important.”

The issue was indeed tricky. Su Ziqing cut in,

“It shouldn’t be hard to find a storefront. I remember there were several vacant ones on the commercial street, all in good locations. Just pick whichever catches your eye.”

Sun Mengchen smiled,

“Young Miss, it’s not that simple.”

“The porcelain business in the Inner City hasn’t been doing well these past few years. Choosing a spot in a declining area would be suicide. Even in bustling areas, you have to check if there are competitors nearby.”

Su Ziqing paused for a moment on the other end,

“I do know a few good shops. Shizhou, I’ll send them to you later.”

Song Shizhou stared at the message on her phone, slightly taken aback,

“You don’t usually pay attention to this. Where did you get so many resources?”

Su Ziqing hesitated before replying,

“Actually, these shops were found by Sister Yu for you.”

“She said it’s already hard enough for you to build a career on your own outside, and you refuse to let the family know. So, she wanted to hand over the family’s porcelain business to you. She said as long as you want it, you can take over anytime…”

“It’s not really about the shops… Sister Yu just feels that since the Song family is also in the porcelain trade, why did you only seek help from others and not your own family…”

Song Shizhou’s brows lifted faintly,

“You know Sister Yu’s temperament she’s always been the decisive type. She genuinely means well for you. She’s your sister, after all. If I had such a good sister, why would I even bother struggling? Just tell her you want to go into the porcelain business, and Sister Yu will arrange everything for you. No need for you to seek help or scout locations yourself.”

“Oh, Shizhou, Sister Yu and Madam Song aren’t the same. Madam Song’s faults are her own. Besides, isn’t it natural for Sister Yu to help you? Alright, if Sister Yu calls you later, talk to her properly, okay?”

Song Shizhou fell silent.

The milk tea Su Ziqing had brought her had only been sipped twice. It’d be a waste to throw it away, so she held it in her hand. Su Ziqing seemed afraid of hearing her response and guiltily turned away.

A car stereo cut in, drowning out their conversation.

Sun Mengchen rolled down the window, pretending not to have heard anything.

Song Shizhou was sweating slightly. She wanted to put the milk tea down but had nowhere to place it.

Because of the ice, the cup felt cold in her grip. The drink should really be finished soon once the ice melted, the flavor would dilute, ruining it.

But what if she never wanted to drink it in the first place?

Song Shizhou froze.

Su Ziqing said Feng Yu meant well.

She knew Feng Yu meant well.

Su Ziqing said Sister Yu should help her.

But in this world, nothing is ever truly owed.

There’s only control, wrapped in a sugar-coated shell.

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