After My Death, I Became a Heartless Madman - Chapter 38.1

It was already late at night when they returned to Snow Pavilion. Claw pounced into Bai Ruowei’s arms, demanding to be held.

Ever since Xiao Bao came along, Miss Bai had rarely been affectionate with Allen Claw. Allen, with its somewhat aloof personality, lay to the side, yawning lazily as its pale green eyes surveyed her indifferently.

Snow Pavilion housed many pigeons creatures that never seemed to stay in one place, flying in and out as they pleased. Gu Zhiyu had always arranged for someone to feed them regularly. But lately, it seemed their numbers had dwindled.

By now, it should be deep winter. The Snow Couch stood solemnly under its pristine white blanket, cold as an ice palace. Bai Ruowei hadn’t been back here in a long time; she had been staying at Ink Residence, so much so that she had nearly forgotten the layout of Snow Couch.

Stumbling away from the evening banquet and then staggering back to Snow Couch in the slippery darkness, Miss Bai touched her frost-reddened cheeks and wondered hadn’t it been warm earlier? Warm enough to make one think spring had arrived, that winter clothes could finally be shed.

So why was it so cold now?

Mia followed far behind her, the click-clack of her footsteps echoing faintly.

Miss Bai chuckled softly, mocking her own increasingly unreliable memory.

Truthfully, she wouldn’t have stayed at Ink Residence much longer anyway.

Because she had recently bought another house.

It was the same small home she had shared with Song Shizhou in her past life, meticulously restored to match every detail from memory except all the materials had been replaced with the most expensive ones. What a ridiculous request, to mimic shoddy craftsmanship with lavish materials, a complete reversal of priorities. Anyone who saw it would be baffled.

Was she chasing some perfect, seamless dream?

She didn’t know.

The snow crunched underfoot, sounding solid but hollow beneath. Miss Bai knew this well back in her past life at Snow Couch, Song Shizhou had taught her how to tell where the snow was hollow. Miss Bai had insisted she already knew, that she didn’t need his instruction only for both of them to step into a hidden void the next second, tumbling into the snow together.

As they rolled, Song Shizhou had held her tightly in his arms, their fingers interlaced. Miss Bai’s hair had been so dusted with snow that it was hard to tell where her hair ended and the snow began.

Song Shizhou had caught her hand and kissed it, saying, Miss Bai, this is the first time we’ve held hands today.

Bai Ruowei’s nose stung. Why did such a beautiful memory hurt so much now?

A faint scent of blood reached her familiar, impossible to ignore. She called for someone to dig up the snow in front of the door.

Beneath the snow, the earth had been dug into four or five uneven pits, now concealed by the white cover. Miss Bai uncovered them only to find the bodies of many pigeons buried underneath.

Claw nuzzled close to kiss her hand, its tongue warm, soft, and comforting, making it easy to forget its identity and nature as a wild wolf. But had it used those same tender lips to tear the pigeons apart?

Bai Ruowei didn’t know.

Perhaps no amount of disguise could change a beast’s bloodthirsty nature. Perhaps some things, no matter how hard one pretended to ignore them, would never truly disappear.

Bai Ruowei pushed open the door and stepped into Snow Couch.

The belongings at Ink Residence had all been packed up. Due to the urgency, everything was crammed haphazardly into three or four suitcases until they bulged. Items that couldn’t fit were sprawled across the living room, nearly blocking the path, there was everything: the furniture Song Shizhou liked, large decorative pieces, Xiao Bao who loved barking everywhere…

And then there was what Song Shizhou didn’t like.

Her.

Gu Zhiyu’s voice was hesitant,

“Miss Bai, everything’s packed. Where should we send them?”

Bai Ruowei nodded,

“Oh, so everything’s packed, huh?”

She frantically ran her fingers through her hair.

It must feel uncomfortable to suddenly part with things you’re used to. But Song Shizhou was such a decisive person hadn’t leaving her behind come without any warning at all? Bai Ruowei pulled out her phone,

“Alright, I’ll ask. I’ll ask her where to send them.”

She had stayed at Lan Chi’s place for almost half a mont hadn’t she insisted on retrieving even a few bottles of skincare from there? The daily necessities at Ink Residence were so complete, and Song Shizhou hadn’t even taken her clothes, shoes, or pants. She must have left them behind, right?

She dialed the number.

The call went through quickly, the dial tone ringing incessantly.

Xiao Bao, seeing Bai Ruowei ignoring him, stretched his neck and howled, making it hard for her to hear the phone.

“…Where are you staying now? Do you still want your things? I can send them over.”

Bai Ruowei was stumbling over her words.

She should have asked Song Shizhou first, Do you still want your things? If the answer was no, then the rest of the conversation wouldn’t be necessary. She thought she should have phrased it that way it would save time, be more efficient. But when the words came out, what she asked first was:

Where are you staying now?

The person on the other end chuckled softly. Bai Ruowei tried to picture her expression but couldn’t quite grasp it.

“What did I leave behind at your place?”

Bai Ruowei froze.

They were discussing post-breakup arrangements like a couple calm, polite. Yet Bai Ruowei’s heart twisted into knots.

“There’s clothes, a few pairs of shoes, and…”

“Sounds like nothing important,”

Song Shizhou said.

“I don’t want them.”

But before, hadn’t she made Bai Ruowei go out of her way to retrieve the things she left at the small art gallery? So why was she discarding them now? Was it because she truly despised her, to the point where even seeing old belongings disgusted her?

“Xiao Bao, you don’t want Xiao Bao either?”

The little beagle had no idea what was happening. He lived carefree barking, throwing tantrums, eating, drinking, and sleeping. Though, to be fair to Xiao Bao, Bai Ruowei didn’t really understand what was happening either.

So fast,

she thought silently.

These past few months the memories, the moments had all passed by so quickly.

Song Shizhou paused for a moment.

“If you don’t have time to take care of him, then send him over.”

She was talking about Xiao Bao. The little dog was like their child. Now that they’d completely broken up, they had to settle custody.

Bai Ruowei felt like her words made it sound like Xiao Bao was unwanted. It upset her.

“I have time to take care of him.”

“I’ll raise him just fine.”

Song Shizhou gave an indifferent “Oh.”

Bai Ruowei wanted to say, If you miss him, you can come visit.

But she didn’t.

The two of them fell into silence over the phone.

“Can I ask, why we broke up?”

The atmosphere suddenly froze.

Halfway through her words, Miss Bai felt she might have been too abrupt. What reason was needed for a breakup? None was necessary. No reason was needed when love faded.

Sure enough, Song Shizhou on the other end of the line chuckled softly and didn’t respond at all.

Perhaps it was for the best.

She comforted herself silently.

At least now there were no arguments, no shouting just calm conversation. Maybe loving too intensely was an exhausting thing in itself.

Bai Ruowei rested on the Snow Couch for a while.

Her rest lasted longer than expected, as it was already the next morning.

Xiao Bao had been nibbling at her fingers all night. It had been several months since she brought the little one home, yet its teeth still hadn’t fully grown in. The bites on Bai Ruowei’s fingers didn’t hurt much.

Mia walked in from the doorway and saw Miss Bai sitting on the sofa, her expression unreadable.

“Bai… Mr. Bai wants to see you.”

Bai Ruowei looked up.

“When?”

“Now,” Mia replied.

Now.

Very well.

Mr. Bai’s summons were never scheduled. She had no right to refuse only to obey.

Noticing her pallor, Mia asked if she wanted to cover it up. Bai Ruowei washed her face.

Staring at her reflection in the mirror, she saw a face drained of vitalitydark circles under her eyes, her gaze hollow, as if weighed down by some insurmountable burden.

She truly wasn’t fit to be seen.

She tried to conceal the dark circles with makeup, but whether it was due to her poor skin condition lately, incorrect application, or expired concealer, the effort was futile.

The grayish hue still seeped through the thick layers of concealer, leaving her looking just as haggard. Bai Ruowei stopped trying.

“Let it be.”

She placed Xiao Bao in its cage, threw on a coat, and got into the car.

Mr. Bai’s residence was far from the Snow Pavilion, so when he first gifted it to her, she had been genuinely surprised. She had assumed someone as controlling as him would prefer her to live as close as possible.

The drive took three to four hours, and it was nearly noon when they arrived at Mr. Bai’s estate.

It was an imposing villa, its opulent entrance half-hidden beneath ornate pavilions. Following the attendants’ guidance, Bai Ruowei stepped lightly along the winding wooden walkways and stone paths until she reached Mr. Bai’s reception hall.

She didn’t enter immediately but knocked first.

“Come in,” Mr. Bai called out.

A faint, cool fragrance lingered in the room. Mr. Bai sat on the sofa, and beside him was a young woman.

“Le Fei,” he said to her, his voice gentle, “you should step out while we discuss matters.”

Le Fei obediently left.

Bai Ruowei stood before him, her gaze lowered slightly as she greeted him first.

Mr. Bai waved a hand, his expression darkening as he motioned for her to sit.

There was an air of reprimand in his demeanor. Though Bai Ruowei had always kept her professional and personal lives separate, never causing trouble at the Surveillance Institute, he had heard about yesterday’s incident and was displeased.

Yet, seeing Miss Bai’s ashen face, he found himself at a loss for words.

“Mia,” Mr. Bai took a sip of tea, “you and Li Ningzhi may leave first.”

The two of them exited.

The door closed slowly behind them. Mr. Bai poured a cup of tea for Bai Ruowei as well.

Miss Bai’s eyes trembled slightly,

“Thank you.”

Mr. Bai looked somewhat surprised,

“You, what exactly happened?”

Miss Bai sighed,

“Ah, Father, it’s really nothing.”

With tear-filled eyes, Bai Ruowei struggled to hold back her sobs,

“I won’t neglect my duties at the Surveillance Institute, you can rest assured.”

Mr. Bai was taken aback,

“That wasn’t what I meant.”

Tears glistened in Miss Bai’s eyes as she lowered her gaze, looking somewhat haggard. Mr. Bai had to admit, he’d never seen his adopted daughter display such sorrow before.

How could an heir be so lovestruck? How could she be so entangled by emotions? Maybe it would be better to just eliminate her, Mr. Bai calculated in his heart, though it seemed somewhat wasteful.

Perhaps having weaknesses wasn’t entirely bad. Mr. Bai had a penchant for eliminating heirs – since ancient times, the relationship between emperor and crown prince had been an unsolvable problem. Though the Surveillance Institute wasn’t the imperial court, the dynamics were similar. Though merely a deputy chairman, reaching this position meant he stood second only to one, above ten thousand others.

Before Miss Bai’s arrival, Mr. Bai had contemplated the reasons and scenarios for reprimanding her. How could someone who let personal matters reduce them to such a state shoulder the responsibilities of the Surveillance Institute? Was Bai Ruowei still a three-year-old who couldn’t distinguish between what was important?

But then he reconsidered – as long as one was human, how could they be without weaknesses or emotions?

If someone truly had no emotions or weaknesses, wouldn’t that make them invincible?

Moreover, the current situation was gradually becoming more complicated.

Mr. Bai’s tone softened slightly,

“You’ve indeed been rather absurd lately.”

Bai Ruowei lowered her head, her expression unchanged, as if yesterday’s events meant nothing to her,

“It’s my fault, Father.”

This attitude slightly brightened Mr. Bai’s expression,

“If you’re truly unable to cope recently, you may take some time off.”

“Time off?”

The concept of rest didn’t exist in Miss Bai’s dictionary, because in the Surveillance Institute, rest meant losing everything.

“Let Mia temporarily handle your affairs. Take some proper time off, adjust your mood, then return to the Surveillance Institute – it won’t be too late.”

“But don’t rest for too long,”

Mr. Bai continued,

“You know, there’s been a deputy chairman position vacant in the Council for quite some time.”

“This position was prepared for you – you’re the most suitable candidate.”

Bai Ruowei was familiar with the deputy chairman position.

In her previous life, she was originally scheduled to be promoted after a business trip to the Third District, but Song Shizhou’s incident had derailed those plans.

Now that she was reborn, this position was absolutely essential.

“But now, Chairman Chen has returned.”

Mr. Bai showed rare fatigue,

“You remember Chairman Chen, don’t you? That woman is quite formidable.”If not for the changes in her family years ago, the Surveillance Institute might not be what it is today.”

Bai Ruowei listened numbly.

She knew matters of the Council weren’t for her to participate in, so all she could do now was listen passively – exactly the kind of unassuming character Mr. Bai preferred.

“You handled the Lefei matter well. I’ve always been fair in rewards and punishments – I won’t forget your past contributions because of your recent mistakes.”

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