After My Death, I Became a Heartless Madman - Chapter 37.2

Song Fengyu finished the water, feeling some relief in her swollen, sore throat.

“Did you not like the house I showed you before?”

She deliberately avoided the word “gift.” Perhaps because she was unusually happy, Fengyu’s expression was livelier than usual. The way she arched her brows and smiled was quite striking, almost roguish nothing like that flawless, impeccable elder sister everyone admired.

“The location there really isn’t ideal. A new property just went on the market recently, so maybe.”

Maybe let me give you another one.

Song Shizhou shook her head.

“The house you showed me last time was nice, but I don’t want it.”

“Fengyu, you know me. I don’t like owing people too much.”

Song Fengyu froze.

“Shi Zhou, I’m your sister. What does ‘owing’ even mean between us?”

She always said this, and Shizhou always replied the same way. It had become almost a script, one line inevitably leading to the next.

Maybe she shouldn’t keep saying it.

Maybe she should try a different approach gentler, more sincere. Or maybe she should just kneel before Song Shizhou and show her the state of her heart,

How withered it’s become from torment.

Fengyu’s gaze darkened, but today she was happy genuinely happy, for the first time in so long and she didn’t want these unpleasant thoughts to weigh her down.

Seeing Shizhou’s response, Song Fengyu nodded.

“Alright, let’s not talk about this for now.”

“If you won’t take the house, at least let me get you some daily necessities.”

She closed the refrigerator door.

“Your fridge is practically empty. Tell me what you’d like to eat.”

No one actually ate dinner at social galas except for Su Ziqing, who had gotten drunk. Fengyu hadn’t had time to change after leaving the hotel and was still wearing that extravagant black evening gown. The elegant curve of her shoulders and neck was coolly refined, her long black hair cascading like spilled ink, beautiful as a painting.

A dense mass of darkness, almost blacker than the night outside. Fengyu wasn’t usually one for dresses, and she wanted to change, but there were no spare clothes here. She casually threw on a coat, buttoning it meticulously all the way to the top, making her look more like a guest who had just stepped off an awards ceremony stage.

Song Shizhou said,

“I’ll eat anything.”

“But do they have oden? The convenience store downstairs might sell it, the kind we used to eat as kids.”

The kind we used to eat as kids.

Shizhou had brought up their childhood again.

Their childhood.

No Su Ziqing, no Bai Ruowei, no Lan Chi just the two of them, back then.

Song Fengyu’s heart pounded. She nodded, hurried downstairs, quickly bought everything, and rushed back up.

Most people living here didn’t earn much, so there weren’t many high-end restaurants nearby. And since it was late at night, the only places still open were street stalls and 24-hour convenience stores. Finding decent food was truly a challenge for Fengyu.

The 7-Eleven downstairs was still open. She bought all the reasonably fresh oden they had, along with plenty of drinks and, mixed among them, two bottles of expensive red wine.

Song Shizhou chuckled.

“Pairing oden with red wine? Sister Yu, you really have taste.”

Fengyu smiled too.

This kind of junk food was something Madam Song Lanyi would never have allowed them to eat.

Memories surged in like countless threads. In truth, expensive ingredients don’t always suit one’s palate, what really counts as green and healthy? Song Shizhou only thought avocados tasted fishy, salads like eating grass, and that outrageously expensive blue cheese smelled foul.

One day, Feng Yu told her she couldn’t get used to it either.

“But Mom thinks it’s healthy.”

Feng Yu quickly added,

“But we don’t always have to listen to Mom.”

She took Song Shizhou to explore the snack street. Feng Yu was clever, sensitive and perceptive in social interactions even at a young age, but having rarely eaten street food, she had little sense of its pricing. When Song Shizhou said she wanted grilled meat and oden, Feng Yu waved her hand and bought everything.

Later, the two struggled to finish it all. Feng Yu suggested tossing the leftovers since they’d gone cold, but Song Shizhou couldn’t bear to. Feng Yu tried all sorts of ways to hide them, but Madam Song caught them as soon as they got home.

Madam Song punished them by making them stand with books balanced on their heads. As the main culprit, Song Shizhou had to balance two extra books.

Frowning, Song Shizhou wobbled like a roly-poly doll, the books were too heavy, and she couldn’t keep steady. Song Fengyu held her hand, smiling as she said, “Don’t worry, give all the books to me.”

“Let me share your burden.”

In the end, Song Fengyu stood balancing three books alone, while Song Shizhou gazed at her with stars in her eyes.

“Sister Yu, wow, you’re amazing! You don’t even wobble with three books!”

Song Fengyu chuckled.

Back then, she had relied on her, admired her, let her help, and even hid in her arms when hurt. So why, now that they were older, couldn’t she anymore?

Even now, those silly memories still brought laughter. Song Shizhou sighed helplessly. “Sister Yu, how do you still remember that?”

Oden paired with red wine might not be the best choice, but given their limited options, it turned out that unexpected food combinations could sometimes spark something magical.

With a smile, she asked Song Shizhou,

“Shi Zhou, do you think I’m pretty?”

Song Shizhou froze.

“Of course, Sister Yu is beautiful.”

Song Fengyu didn’t dare push further.

The next line after “At four a.m., the begonias are still awake” is “I love you.” The next line after “Dawn skies, dusk clouds” is “Thinking of you when I walk, thinking of you when I sit.” And the next line after “Song Fengyu” was supposed to be: “Since I’m beautiful, do you want me? To belong to you.”

Song Fengyu had a weak heart, so she couldn’t drink much. But perhaps she was naturally someone with a high alcohol tolerance after several glasses, her face showed no sign of intoxication.

So why did what she say sound like drunken words?

“Shi Zhou, you know what? Lately, I keep having this dream.”

Song Shizhou, thoroughly drunk, lifted her head groggily.

“What?”

The two sat on a thick carpet. Song Fengyu cupped her hands around her mouth and leaned toward Song Shizhou’s ear.

“I said, I’ve been having this strange dream.”

She continued with a smile.

“I dreamt you were taken away. I searched desperately, but I couldn’t find you.”

And then you died.

The dream was so vivid, she saw herself standing before a cold operating table, where Song Shizhou lay dead, her hands splayed open.

Clutched in her palm was the fairy tale book Feng Yu had given her as a child.

Song Shizhou was too drunk. She only heard the first half, maybe Feng Yu’s voice was too soft, and she missed the rest.

“How could you not find me?”

Song Fengyu let out a light laugh.

“Yeah, how could I not find you?”

Isn’t she now taking Shi Zhou back from Bai Ruowei’s side?

Perhaps not everyone is fortunate enough to get a second chance at life. Perhaps Feng Yu was never a lucky person. Perhaps this is her punishment she deserves to suffer forever, to remain restless, forever silent.

Forever in pain.

Song Shizhou had already fallen asleep. How could she sleep so soundly right after setting a trap for Miss Bai? Song Fengyu let out a faint laugh. She knew Shi Zhou had always been mentally resilient. If she weren’t so strong, she might have long perished in her miserable childhood.

But perhaps the truth went far beyond that.

Today’s events openly stabbing Bai Ruowei in the back were just another step in Song Shizhou’s plan, weren’t they?

And then there was Lan Chi’s appearance, Chairman Chen. She didn’t know how to make sense of it all.

Song Fengyu picked her up from the floor. Though Shi Zhou was tall, she wasn’t heavy. She gently laid her down on the bed.

The small bed could barely fit two people. Perhaps sensing the unfamiliar Alpha’s pheromones, Shi Zhou turned away, her back facing Feng Yu.

Song Fengyu reached out, wanting to touch her face.

Now that Bai Ruowei had been dealt with, Shi Zhou’s affairs should be settled.

Her feelings for Song Shizhou should also come to an end.

She withdrew her hand.

She thought, Shi Zhou would surely get married someday. She hoped she’d find someone who truly loved her and step into the sacred halls of matrimony. What did a wedding hall look like? Feng Yu didn’t know. The only bride’s veil she’d ever seen in her childhood was…

Twelve-year-old Song Shizhou, hiding under her desk, cautiously lifting her head, most of her face obscured by the gauzy white tablecloth.

Like a bride’s veil.

She left the hangover medicine in the living room, took out the trash, and went downstairs.

She didn’t take the elevator. Some people’s nightmares were always tied to staircases, twenty flights of stairs, endlessly climbing, never knowing what awaited on the next floor. The same scene, over and over, inescapable, like a slow march toward death.

So, what was Song Fengyu’s nightmare?

She didn’t want to remember. All her nightmares revolved around the heart so vivid, as if she had truly lived through them. Song Shizhou being taken away by someone else, her desperate search, the pain, the regret, the helplessness.

The nightmare always ended with a massive heart, her own heart. So grotesque, so repulsive, its exposed veins pulsing with black blood. So much black blood. The enormous heart throbbed rhythmically, yet without a sound, drowning her in silence, as if mocking her incompetence and ugliness.

She dreamed that Song Shizhou had died.

In the vast snowy night, she was left alone, wandering. At the end of the snow-covered world, everything turned into white light. Song Shizhou lay in a pool of blood, smiling at her.

“Sister Yu, why didn’t you come for me sooner?”

Song Shizhou coughed up a mouthful of blood.

“Sister Yu, why did you steal my life?”

Song Fengyu’s eyes widened.

She was the ugly beneficiary.

Making her fall in love with someone impossible.

Was the best, the very best punishment for her.

Feng Yu was busy buying properties left and right, Lan Chi kept apologizing nonstop, and Bai Ruowei kept making phone calls. If no one answered, she and Xiao Bao would just scream helplessly in frustration. Xiao Bai you maybe, you should step aside first and make room for the newcomer Xiao Su.

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