After Divorcing the Scummy Alpha Movie Queen, I Became Extremely Popular - Chapter 36

Luo Jingyun Neither Loves Nor Hates Her

This question was like a sharp sword, piercing ruthlessly into Tan Jizhu’s heart.

She had never considered this question before. In her memory, from the very first moment she met Luo Jingyun, the other woman had launched an offensive. She had assumed that Luo Jingyun, the wealthy young lady, simply wanted to play a romantic game with her, and she had never taken it seriously. However, over the following two years, Luo Jingyun pursued her relentlessly and even spent money to save her mother during her most difficult time.

Tan Jizhu would never forget that life-saving kindness. She was willing to work like a horse or an ox for Luo Jingyun, but the other woman only requested that they marry. Her gratitude evaporated instantly; in her mind, Luo Jingyun reverted to being that arrogant socialite who used her family background to act willfully.

Thinking back on it now, she realized she was truly a terrible person for casting that kindness aside and thinking of Luo Jingyun in such a way. It was because she cared too much about her own insignificant self-esteem that she had never cared about Luo Jingyun’s dignity.

So, why exactly did Luo Jingyun like her? Was it because of her looks? There were as many beautiful people in the entertainment industry as there were hairs on a cow. Tan Jizhu believed her looks were indeed superior, but not to the point of making someone so unforgettable. In fact, she had always felt that Luo Jingyun was much more beautiful than she was.

Character was even more impossible; sometimes she couldn’t even stand herself. There was no way Luo Jingyun liked her for that.

Could it be because of the 98% compatibility? This answer made Tan Jizhu feel afraid. With so many people in the world, what would she do if an Alpha appeared who had 99% or even 100% compatibility with Luo Jingyun?

Tan Jizhu felt like a death row prisoner awaiting sentencing, waiting for Luo Jingyun to provide the answer.

“Jingyun, can you tell me the reason why you liked me?”

“Because at that time, you were very serious about everything. You would work hard to uphold justice, and you would work hard for the goals you pursued,” Luo Jingyun said slowly. “Back then, you felt that using my connections to get you into a film crew would affect fairness, so I stopped doing that. I really liked seeing the way you looked when you worked hard for your goals, so I could understand why you stayed with the film crews all year round.”

“But what about now? You letting me win on purpose—isn’t that also an act that destroys fairness? Your actions these past few days have left me completely confused. I have no idea what you are trying to do.”

A gust of wind blew, and Luo Jingyun’s hair fluttered, almost covering half of her face. Even though the two of them were not far apart, Tan Jizhu could not see Luo Jingyun’s expression, nor could she grasp her hand.

“I hoped that you would be happy after winning, so that’s why I lost to you. Even if it affected fairness, it only affected me,” Tan Jizhu said heart-wrenchingly. “Everything I’ve done these past few days has been to win you back!”

“To win me back? You only thought of winning me back after we separated and divorced?”

Tan Jizhu walked forward. Those few short steps felt as painful as walking on the edge of a knife.

“Jingyun, I was too slow. I only realized my feelings after separating from you. Jingyun, I love you. This is all my fault. Can you give me another chance?”

“A chance?” Luo Jingyun tucked the stray hair behind her ear and asked softly, “Tan Jizhu, I told you the reason why I liked you. What about you? What is the reason you like me?”

Tan Jizhu saw Luo Jingyun’s expression clearly. There was no ripple of emotion on that beautiful face; she seemed like a finely crafted wax statue.

“I… I just love you. There is no reason.”

“Since you can’t state a reason for loving me or wanting to win me back, let me say it for you,” Luo Jingyun spoke coldly. “It’s because I was the one pursuing you for all these years. You can’t accept my sudden departure, which is why you want to win me back. If I were still pestering you like I used to, I’m afraid you would only find me annoying.”

“It’s not like that,” Tan Jizhu shook her head desperately in denial. “It’s not like that.”

“Tan Jizhu, actually, when you said Chen Shidong’s name at the awards ceremony, I hated you very much. I did so much for you, yet you turned a blind eye to it all.”

Tan Jizhu took the last few steps and finally reached Luo Jingyun. She pulled her into a hug and murmured, “Jingyun, I’m sorry. I know everything you’ve sacrificed for me. I wouldn’t have won that award without you. I was too foolish back then and didn’t understand. I’m sorry, I’m truly sorry.” Luo Jingyun had done far more for her than she had realized. Without Luo Jingyun, she wouldn’t have the status she has today.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” Luo Jingyun pushed Tan Jizhu away. “Now, I no longer hate you. Don’t come to disturb me again in the future.”

Tan Jizhu heard the hidden meaning: Luo Jingyun no longer loved her either. Her vision blurred, and Tan Jizhu reached out her hand, wanting to embrace Luo Jingyun again. “No, I don’t want this.”

Luo Jingyun took a step back, widening the distance between them.

“Tan Jizhu, let’s leave it at this. Let’s not meet again in the future.”

Having said that, Luo Jingyun turned and left, just as Tan Jizhu had done in the past. When she returned to the sports competition site, Park Soo-ah had already finished her match.

Seeing her, Park Soo-ah hurried over. “Jingyun, what’s wrong? Tan Jizhu was chasing after you just now. She didn’t make things difficult for you, did she?”

“Oh, I just wanted to go get some fresh air. Did Tan Jizhu go looking for me? I had no idea.” Luo Jingyun was not as calm as she appeared. After all, she had loved Tan Jizhu for so long. She could see every move Tan Jizhu made to win her back during this time, but she attributed it all to Tan Jizhu’s lack of habit regarding her departure. And just as she thought, Tan Jizhu couldn’t give a reason for loving her.

She didn’t want to make herself so pathetic again. She might as well take this opportunity to make a clean break—not just with Tan Jizhu, but also with her past self who had wasted so much time.

In the future, she would focus on her career.

Facing Park Soo-ah’s question, Luo Jingyun brushed it off. “Soo-ah, how was your match?”

“Mm, I won.”

“Congratulations.”

Park Soo-ah could sense a change in Luo Jingyun’s mood, but she couldn’t say what had changed. She knew that Tan Jizhu and Luo Jingyun must have been alone together just now, but she had no clue what they had talked about.

Luo Jingyun seemed to have separated from Tan Jizhu, but it was not that easy for two people with such an emotional history to part ways. Moreover, they were a highly compatible Alpha and Omega; as a Beta, she felt somewhat redundant.

The two were silent for a moment before Luo Jingyun pointed at the table and said, “A new round is about to start. Let’s see who wins.”

The other two groups also finished their matches one after another, and Tan Jizhu returned as well. Liu Yuqi walked up to the guests and announced the final results. When Luo Jingyun heard her name, she didn’t say much, merely crossing her arms as she waited for the next segment.

“So, as of now, our original plans are all complete. Next is the part Jingyun mentioned: learning the intangible cultural heritage of Tongxi Village—bamboo weaving. The staff has already communicated with the villagers. Please continue filming tomorrow according to the schedule.”

The guests dispersed, and the staff began packing up. Liu Yuqi walked over. “Jizhu, why haven’t you left yet?”

“Oh, I’m leaving now. Sister Yuqi, earlier, Jingyun…”

Liu Yuqi nodded. “Mm, I understand. We won’t air that footage.”

“Thank you.”

“It’s only right,” Liu Yuqi said. “After these few episodes, the audience’s perception of Jingyun has changed greatly. The focus of the show is on rural assistance, so we won’t edit in controversial footage of the guests, as that would cause the focus to shift. However, there’s no way to avoid the fact that you chose to be in a group with Jingyun. Even the later part where Jingyun chose to teach music with Soo-ah—even if we edit it out, the audience will find traces of it.”

“Mm, I understand. It doesn’t matter to me.”

Liu Yuqi exchanged a glance with Chen Shidong, and the two of them left together.

Back in her room, Tan Jizhu remembered that today was the day a new episode of The Journey of the Heart was being released. Worried that there would be negative comments about Luo Jingyun, she immediately took out her phone to check.

「Can someone tell me if this episode is just going to be watching guests pick apples and plow fields?」

「Yes, you guessed right. This episode is just that boring. Later there are scenes of them selling apples at the market. This show really seems like it wants to teach me how to farm.」

「But the production team is very thoughtful. They set up fixed cameras at each group’s farming spot. You can click on whichever group you want to watch.」

「Wow, Chen Shidong and Tan Jizhu are truly women among women! They look so cool plowing the fields in their black ribbed tank tops!」

「Those standard movements, those arm lines, those powerful fingers…」

「The two of them are so well-matched!」

「Uh… can someone educate me on why people ship Chen Shidong and Tan Jizhu? There’s clearly no interaction; they’re just mindless plowing.」

「Person above, remember to turn off your DMs. Although I also feel that Chen Shidong and Tan Jizhu have zero CP chemistry in this episode and just look like two human plowing machines, I don’t dare to say it.」

「You say you don’t dare to say it, yet you posted the comment. Are you a fan of Luo Jingyun?」

「Wait, just because I don’t ship Tan Jizhu and Chen Shidong, I’m labeled a Luo Jingyun fan?」

「Go watch the newly updated bonus footage. Tan Jizhu went to help Luo Jingyun plow.」

「What? The person above must be dreaming.」

「It’s true, go see for yourselves. Tan Jizhu not only taught Luo Jingyun how to save energy but also carried her to the health clinic when she fainted and even plowed a plot of land for her.」

「I don’t believe it. This isn’t real!」

「Regrettably, it is real. The dreams of certain CP fans are about to shatter.」

「Aren’t Tan Jizhu and Luo Jingyun divorced? Why is Tan Jizhu doing this?」

「Oh my god, isn’t this my favorite ‘broken mirror joined together’ trope! In my opinion, it’s better to ship Luo Jingyun and Tan Jizhu; at least they actually have a marriage certificate.」

「Why don’t you mention they also have a divorce announcement?」

「To be precise, they only released a divorce statement, but they never showed a divorce certificate. In my eyes, if it’s not shown, it doesn’t exist.」

「No, I don’t agree with this marriage! Luo Jingyun isn’t good enough for my Tan Jizhu. One is the youngest Best Actress, the other is an 18th-tier nobody. There’s a reproductive isolation between them!」

「I think Luo Jingyun is quite a good person. Why do so many people in the comments dislike her?」

「Probably Tan Jizhu’s solo stans. Anyway, after watching the show, my view of Luo Jingyun has changed a lot.」

「Luo Jingyun always had that socialite attitude before. I thought she would be a burden in this show too, but I didn’t expect her to continue plowing after just one night of rest.」

「And did you see the end of this episode? Luo Jingyun was so imposing when she negotiated as the representative.」

「She really is amazing—articulate and logical. Just as I started shipping Luo Jingyun and Tan Jizhu, I realized they are divorced. My CP just ended like that.」

「Don’t cry, person above. I have a contact working in the The Journey of the Heart crew. She told me that the groups were rearranged later. Tan Jizhu and Luo Jingyun are in a group.」

「See, what did I tell you? Luo Jingyun still can’t let go of her old feelings for Tan Jizhu. She joined this show just to win Tan Jizhu back.」

「Actually, no. This time it was Tan Jizhu who took the initiative to choose Luo Jingyun as her teammate. I can’t say much more about the rest. If you don’t believe it, wait for next week’s episode.」

Tan Jizhu was about to “like” the last comment when she found it had been deleted. She guessed it was because it involved spoilers and was removed by the production team.

Those viewers who had issues with Luo Jingyun changed their minds after just a few episodes. Yet, as someone who had been Luo Jingyun’s partner for several years, she had been blinded all along. No wonder Luo Jingyun was unwilling to forgive her.

After Luo Jingyun left earlier, she had stood alone for a long time, thinking. It was already late autumn, and the mountain wind carried a chill as it blew toward her, as if it could blow her over if it grew any stronger.

Love and hate share the same source. Luo Jingyun neither loved nor hated her.

If realizing that Luo Jingyun no longer loved her was painful, then now she truly understood the meaning of despair.

But during the thousand-plus nights she had rejected Luo Jingyun, had Luo Jingyun felt this same despair?

Tan Jizhu wiped the tears from her face. she couldn’t afford to be sad. She would use the rest of her life to win Luo Jingyun back.