A Change of Husband - Chapter 50

Asilie couldn’t believe this moment was real.

No—maybe, deep down, she had known all along.

Esperad had always been too kind to her to simply brush it off.

But she had forced herself to deny it, convincing herself he was just a warm person to everyone.

It was partly because she wasn’t used to receiving kindness from others… but also because she didn’t want to be hurt again.

“I’m… the reason you live and breathe?”

“That’s right.”

“Why?”

Tears that had been building up fell in streams.

Asilie had never imagined that she could mean so much to someone.

She had never even dared to think such a thing.

And yet, something she had always wanted but never believed would actually happen was happening now.

“…How could someone like me become such an important person to you?”

Esperad thought there was no need for a long answer to that question.

The reason was simple.

“Because it’s you, Asilie.”

“Ah…”

It all felt like a dream.

That she, who had always built high walls to avoid getting hurt, had accepted her own feelings…

That the person she loved her in return…

It was all too much to believe, too overwhelming for a day that had started like any other.

Asilie couldn’t help but cry.

“Hh-hngh…”

“Why are you crying?”

“Because… I just can’t believe it. Everything that’s happened since I started being with you… it’s all so hard to believe… Hh-hngh… I really can’t believe it.”

Esperad quietly watched her as she cried.

He didn’t need to ask to understand.

There might not be one single reason she was crying, but he knew it was more likely because of joy than sorrow.

“Esperad, this feels… like a miracle.”

Hearing her call it a miracle, Esperad parted his lips as if to speak.

He deeply regretted that he had always held back from expressing his feelings.

But no words felt right—nothing could fully explain this feeling, this moment.

Still, he wanted Asilie to know.

That everything had changed since the moment he met her.

“If you hadn’t proposed to me… I don’t think I would’ve ever found this miracle.”

“Hh-hngh…”

Everything that had happened while she was with him flashed through her mind like a reel of memories.

Now, she could finally accept the confusing emotions she hadn’t understood.

Why she had felt guilt seeing Siena, but also a deep resentment she couldn’t suppress.

Why she had felt nothing—truly nothing—watching Joseph and Monica’s wedding.

All those questions were suddenly answered.

And yet, it still felt unbelievable.

Asilie unable to stop the tears, reached out to him.

Esperad took her hand gently in his warm one.

“Can I… touch your face?”

“You don’t need to ask. I already belong to you, Asilie.”

Moved by his kind answer, Asilie found the courage to pull her hand free from his.

Then, slowly, she reached up to touch his face.

She felt the warmth of his skin, the shape of his cheekbones and his tall nose.

And finally, she cupped his soft lips in her hand.

This wasn’t a dream.

It wasn’t a fantasy.

It wasn’t a lie.

She finally accepted that this was real.

“I…”

Asilie couldn’t finish her sentence and broke down in tears again.

But Esperad didn’t let her cry alone.

He gently pulled the small hand on his face toward him and kissed her—this time, without anything forcing the moment.

Asilie’s eyes opened wide in surprise.

Feeling her body flinch, Esperad gently laced his fingers through hers and wrapped his arm around her slim waist, as if to reassure her.

Surrounded by the warmth of his body, Asilie felt strangely comforted and closed her eyes.

She felt a heat from their joined lips that she couldn’t sense through her fingers.

Maybe because of the tears soaking her face, the kiss tasted slightly salty the deeper it grew.
But still, Asilie thought—

This sudden, unplanned kiss in his office was sweeter than any kiss she had ever experienced.

Esperad softly sucked her small lips, like he was trying to soothe her.

As he briefly pulled away to breathe, Asilie clumsily gasped for air.

“Mmh… mmm…”

Even as she furrowed her brows slightly, she gripped his strong arms as if she didn’t want to let him go.

Her soft moans between breaths.

Her hand clutching his.

Her body completely leaning on him—

All of it drove Esperad wild.

He could feel desire rising in his lower stomach.

He wanted to taste her even more deeply.

But he couldn’t do that to her—not here, not now, in such a formal space without warning.

Besides, Asilie was gasping and shaking her head.

He didn’t want to force anything.

He couldn’t ruin this relationship with a reckless mistake.

She was the first person he had ever truly held in his heart.

Which meant he had to treat her with even more care.

So Esperad swallowed his desire and gently let her go.

“Th-that was…”

Asilie still looked confused.

Esperad took the hand he was still holding and raised it to his lips, kissing the back of it solemnly.

“I won’t rush you.”

“That’s not what I meant…”

It was the first time she had ever felt this kind of longing.

She wanted to hold onto him more.

She wanted to rely on him more.

She wanted to be closer to him.

She knew what he wanted.

And she knew what she wanted too.

She just didn’t know how to explain it.

Thankfully, Esperad didn’t ask her to say anything right away.

Asilie looked at him silently, her eyes filled with confusion and affection—feelings she could no longer hide.

And soon, a new resolve began to shine in her eyes.

Neither of them knew how the day ended.

They didn’t have the mental energy left to figure it out.

After dinner, the couple returned to the bedroom and began to get ready for bed, feeling more awkward than ever before.

Until now, they had shared a bed in the name of protecting her safety. But now, they both knew the meaning had changed.

Maybe that was why they couldn’t ignore the tension between them.

“…Some guests will be visiting the mansion soon.”

Esperad brought up a new topic to ease the awkwardness.

Asilie was secretly glad he had started a conversation and asked,
“Who are they?”

“They’re elders from the royal council. Distant relatives, but really, there’s barely any blood relation.”

“I see. Why are they coming?”

“Not for any clear reason. I invited them to the Medici Mansion. There’s something I want to ask for advice on.”

She was curious about what that was, but Asilie didn’t ask.

He was giving proper answers that kept the conversation going, but in truth, her mind wasn’t in a state to process anything more.

“Will they be staying at the mansion for a few days?”

“Most likely.”

“Then we’ll have to get ready to host them. Do you know when they’ll arrive?”

“The date hasn’t been decided yet. Once it’s set, I’ll let you know through Madame Marce.”

“All right, I’ll keep that in mind.”

Esperad felt relieved that she didn’t ask for details.

He still hadn’t decided whether to tell her about what Count Mirk had done to his mother.

Maybe she deserved to know, especially since marrying him had now put her in real danger.

But Esperad didn’t have the strength to explain it all yet.

The thought weighed down his heart again.

“I’ll go change my clothes.”

Her shy voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“…All right. I’ll go wash up.”

Why did such a simple sentence make her heart beat so fast?

Asilie rushed into the dressing room, trying not to show how nervous she was.

She took deep breaths, trying to calm her pounding heart.

After a while, she pulled out the slip Sophia had made for her.

It was a short, black slip that was see-through, embarrassingly revealing.

She had accepted it because Sophia made it for her, but she hadn’t had the courage to wear it in front of Esperad, so she’d kept it tucked away.

After hesitating, Asilie finally made up her mind, put on the slip, and stepped out of the dressing room.

Esperad didn’t seem to be back yet.

She wandered nervously around the bedroom, then quickly got into bed and hid under the blanket when she heard someone approaching.

“Asilie?”

He must not have seen her under the covers, because Esperad called out, looking for her.

Feeling embarrassed by how immature she was acting, Asilie answered in a small voice,
“Yes, I’m here.”

“Ah.”

She sat up and saw him.

As usual, Esperad was shirtless, drying his wet hair with a towel.

It looked just like any other night they had spent together after getting married.

But the air in the bedroom felt completely different now.

Asilie felt embarrassed to be looking at him—and to know that he could see her, too.

“Um, can I turn off the light?”

At least, she wanted to put out the candle by the bed.

When Esperad silently nodded, Asilie turned her back to him and reached for the candlestick.

That was when—

“…Your scar has faded.”

“What?”

Asilie turned back before she could finish what she was doing.

“The scar on your waist.”

It was the one Joseph had made when he stabbed her with a decorative sword.

Even after returning to the past, the scar had stayed, and she always found it strange.

She didn’t understand what he meant and asked again,
“The scar… what about it?”

“Maybe I’m just seeing things because of the slip, but it looks like the scar has faded, Asilie.”

Her eyes widened.

Even though the Countess of Bonaparte had found every healing herb possible to keep Joseph’s violence from being exposed, the scar had never faded before.

Asilie felt unsettled.

Why was it fading now?

Why?

A strange fear stirred in her chest.

With a trembling voice, Asilie asked,
“Could you… take a look?”

“…What?”

“The scar on my waist. Could you lift the slip and check again, properly?”

There was something desperate in her tone, and Esperad stepped closer.

With trembling hands, he slowly lifted the slip she was wearing.

His heart pounded at the sight of her soft, white skin, but he tried his best not to think anything improper.

He focused on the area where the scar used to be.

It had once been clearly visible, but now it had faded so much that only a faint trace remained.

“You said you got it when you were young… How…”

Esperad stared at the mark that had changed so much and, without realizing it, reached out to touch it.

Flinch—

His warm hand touched her cool, exposed skin, and Asilie shivered at the strange sensation.

Only then did Esperad realize what he’d done and tried to pull his hand back in embarrassment.

But Asilie grabbed his wrist first.

Her cold hand wrapped around his. He looked at her with surprise.

“I…”

She was scared.

So much had happened in one day—and strangely enough, all of it had been things she had wished for with all her heart.

And now, when the scar that had never faded was disappearing, fear washed over her.

She was afraid all of this would vanish.

What if all of today was a miracle—a final gift from the gods to someone who had only known suffering?

What if, when she closed her eyes tonight, she would wake up not as Asilie Camedici, Esperad’s wife but as Asilie Bonaparte—paralyzed by poison and abandoned in the forest?

She couldn’t let this moment slip away.

“I want to be your woman, Esperad.”

If this really was the gods’ final gift, she wanted to make him a part of her—

Even if it was only through this small, fragile body.