1122 - Chapter 31.2

Jiang Yi’s face was pressed against the baby’s stomach and feet, a display of innate paternal love, the kind that exists unconditionally no matter how one’s child looks. The intensity of that love was overwhelming. The baby lay still, eyes closed.

Yan Nanchen wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes with the back of his hand and played the next recording. This one was filmed in the delivery room, and soon, he heard two cries, the sounds of two newborns.

One of the cries was particularly loud and lasted an unusually long time. By the end, it no longer sounded like the fearful wails of a baby facing an unfamiliar world but rather like cries of pain.

He could no longer hold back. Bending over, he crouched down, clutching his head and biting his arm hard to stifle his sobs.

Perhaps the grief was too much to bear. He stood up and walked back to the bedroom.

Jiang Yi was still sound asleep on the bed, but Yan Nanchen could no longer restrain his emotions. He lay down beside Jiang Yi, wrapping his arms tightly around him from behind, and wept openly.

Just moments ago, Qiao Qiao was still here, and he didn’t dare to cry out loud.

Yan Nanchen pressed his lips against Jiang Yi’s gland at the nape of his neck, his arms wrapped tightly around him as if he wanted to merge the man into his very blood. Tears and ragged breaths tangled together chaotically. He drank in every scent and warmth that belonged to Jiang Yi, yet his heart remained filled with unease and agony.

In the end, he still broke down in tears.

He could collapse so completely now, no words could describe this kind of pain, this pain that no one else could truly understand. But how could Jiang Yi, who had just given birth, possibly endure such a blow?

“Yi Yi, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

Each “I’m sorry” was a debt he forced himself to voice through clenched teeth, trembling but determined to say it completely.

Jiang Yi woke up. He had been awake since the moment he was held so tightly. He had intended to push Yan Nanchen away, but then he felt the cool droplets falling onto the back of his neck and heard Yan Nanchen’s broken, trembling sobs. Instantly, he realized something.

Perhaps he had anticipated this day long ago ever since he returned to the country.

It was also the purpose of his return.

He stayed silent, feeling the firm, powerful chest encircling him, the heartbeat against his back so intense. The sound of shattered, restrained weeping echoed in his ears, one sob after another. Such profound sorrow, it was as if he could feel it too.

After what felt like an eternity, he rested his head on his hand, closed his reddened eyes, and murmured softly, “Yan Nanchen, you’re disturbing me.”

The next second, Yan Nanchen turned him over.

Now face to face, their breaths mingled in the narrow space between them.

Jiang Yi was stunned to see Yan Nanchen’s tear-streaked, devastated expression, his own gaze sinking into those deep, drenched eyes that reflected him so vividly. In that instant, his heart felt as if it had been seized.

Then Yan Nanchen’s hand slid to his back, pulling him into an embrace, chest to chest.

The sheets were half-drawn, slightly disheveled, as the two clung tightly to each other on the large bed. Even their highly compatible pheromones intertwined, leaning into one another.

“Yi Yi.”

Jiang Yi felt Yan Nanchen’s lips brush against his ear, the call tentative and trembling with emotion. Such intimacy should have made him push away, yet instinct and something deeper, kept him from resisting.

“I don’t know what else to say besides ‘I’m sorry,'” Yan Nanchen choked out, gently stroking the back of Jiang Yi’s head, pressing their foreheads together as he gazed down at him. “Jiang Nian, our Nian Nian is gone. We had two children all along.”

At just the mention of that name, Jiang Yi’s eyes reddened instantly.

As if sharing Jiang Yi’s devastation, Yan Nanchen watched the tears fall before softly kissing his eyelids. After a pause, he whispered hoarsely, “Yi Yi, my love, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I failed you.”

Jiang Yi said nothing, lowering his eyes as silent tears streamed down.

“If only I had been braver back then, if I had told you I wasn’t Chu Beiheng, that I was Yan Nanchen maybe you wouldn’t have left in such pain, maybe you wouldn’t have been so disappointed in me. I could have stayed by your side, taken care of you maybe the child wouldn’t have.” Yan Nanchen couldn’t bear to see Jiang Yi cry, cupping his face to wipe away the tears.

“It was my cowardice that hurt you. I’m sorry. I let you down.”

The word “let down” seemed to strike straight into Jiang Yi’s heart.

Jiang Yi’s lashes trembled lightly as he lifted his gaze to meet Yan Nanchen’s eyes. His moist eyes seemed to hold endless grievances: “You should know back then, I considered you my family. I thought of you as my only family in this world.”

Yan Nanchen pressed their foreheads together and wept: “I know.”

“But you lied to me.” Jiang Yi’s voice was barely audible, hoarse to the point of breaking. “You made me feel like I’d completely lost my home.”

“I was wrong.” Yan Nanchen trembled as he kissed Jiang Yi’s eyelids.

“When the baby was born, I was actually so happy. Having two family members meant I wouldn’t be alone anymore.” Jiang Yi smiled through his tears. “But when I felt those tiny feet against my cheek and they were ice cold. I just couldn’t take it. In that moment, I thought maybe I should just go with him.”

“I want Nian Nian back so badly. I miss him so much. He never even got to look at me, never got to see this world.”

Yan Nanchen’s hands shook violently as he cradled Jiang Yi’s face, then worried he might break down, moved them to hold the back of Jiang Yi’s head, pressing him against his chest.

Hearing these words, Yan Nanchen’s tears fell uncontrollably.

“But I survived.” Jiang Yi buried his face in Yan Nanchen’s chest, forehead resting against him, smiling through tears. “I thought I couldn’t let Qiao Qiao grow up without a father, couldn’t let her lose her parents young like I did. I want her to be the happiest child in the world. I want to watch her grow up safe and joyful.”

Yan Nanchen kissed the top of Jiang Yi’s head, heart aching, holding him tighter. “Yi Yi, give me another chance, please. Let me be your lover again, protect and cherish you. Let me be a proper father, guarding Qiao Qiao for a lifetime.”

A long silence followed.

Neither spoke.

Their wordless embrace said more than any speech ever could.

Finally, Jiang Yi pressed his face into Yan Nanchen’s chest and sobbed openly, all the hidden grievances, sorrows, and breakdowns of five years pouring out at once.

“Puppy.”

Hearing this address, Yan Nanchen’s tears overflowed. “I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

“Hold me tighter.”

“Okay.”

“Tighter still.”

“Okay.”

Jiang Yi looked up through tears as Yan Nanchen lowered his gaze as if reading his mind.

Their lips met, tasting the salt of shared tears, eyes locked in profound understanding.

Then they clung to each other desperately.

As if trying to reclaim all lost courage and missed moments in this single embrace.

This barrier between them didn’t require grand gestures or trials by fire. Though pain and regret remained, in this intimate closeness, everything found room for reconciliation.

“Yan Nanchen, hold me tighter.”

Yan Nanchen laughed through his tears. “Okay.”

All their history distilled into this final, utterly yielding “okay.”

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