Why is This Clingy Snow Leopard Acting So Innocent? - Chapter 43

Chapter 43: Older Brother — Want to Stir Up Some Trouble?

“What are you spacing out for?”

Yun Shu snapped back to reality. Su Wen had just finished tidying the photos on the table and was tucking them back into the album.

He regretted borrowing the album a little; not only did he fail to see what he wanted to see, but he had also lost a few photos.

Yun Shu stepped forward to help him steady the falling-apart album. After a two-second hesitation, he replied, “I was thinking…”

He trailed off for several seconds. Su Wen handed him the file folder he had just found. “Is there anyone else who talks half a sentence at a time like you do?”

Yun Shu took it and opened it. “There is now.”

Then he added, “I was just wondering why you have no impression of the people in the photos.”

Su Wen shrugged. “Why else? We weren’t close, I guess.”

Su Wen put the file folder containing the album into his bag, planning to return it to the Village Chief before the festival. Truthfully, not having a manager had its downsides—even out on a job, he had to pack his own things.

Su Wen pulled off his outer sweater and tossed it into the nearby laundry basket, thinking he’d wash it in a few days when he had time. Of course, “in a few days” was a story for later; the most important thing right now was to lie down and catch up on the sleep he missed this morning.

He lay there for a while but couldn’t drift off. He felt like the light was hitting his eyes, but he was wearing an eye mask, so that didn’t make sense. After tossing and turning for a bit, he lifted one side of the mask and froze for a second.

Yun Shu was leaning against the doorframe, quietly watching him.

As their eyes met, Su Wen was dazed for a moment before speaking. “How long have you been standing there?”

Yun Shu straightened up slightly then leaned back again. “Since before you took off your clothes.”

Su Wen’s hand holding the eye mask stiffened. He looked down; he was wearing the pajamas he hadn’t had time to change out of this morning. He decided to just pull the mask off and toss it aside, teasing, “Why are you being so ambiguous?”

Yun Shu pursed his lips and didn’t take the bait. He sat directly on the edge of the bed and then, without ceremony, lay down on it.

Su Wen propped his head up on his hand and looked at him sideways, his face full of amusement. “Why aren’t you going back to your own room to nap? What are you doing lying here?”

Yun Shu turned on his side, poking Su Wen’s stomach twice through the quilt. Then he looked up at him and blinked. “I wanted to talk to you. Is that not allowed?”

Su Wen’s lips curved into a smile, the dimple by his mouth deepening into a beautiful arc. He reached out and scratched Yun Shu’s chin twice, laughing. “Are you acting spoiled?”

Yun Shu nuzzled his stomach again. “Is it that obvious?”

Su Wen patted his face. “Where did you learn this routine?”

Yun Shu raised an eyebrow. “Is it working?”

Su Wen’s sleepiness was halfway gone. He pulled over a pillow, rested his chin on it, and looked at him. “What do you want to talk about?”

Yun Shu’s gaze locked onto his, looking as if he were debating something. On the tenth beat of his heart, he spoke: “Don’t you have anything you want to tell me?”

Su Wen was baffled. “What should I want to tell you?”

Yun Shu reached out, his hand landing precisely on Su Wen’s waist. He pushed against his waist, bringing Su Wen close to his face, his voice muffled:

“You say you like me, but you never tell me anything.”

He kept his eyes open, looking up from Su Wen’s waist. His grey-green eyes seemed to be searching for something. “Can’t you tell me?”

“About your past,” he added.

“You…” Su Wen didn’t know whether to be surprised or amused. After a long pause, he finally replied, “Who did you learn this from?”

Yun Shu dodged the question, still blinking his large eyes and repeating, “Can’t you tell me?”

“Fine, fine, fine—” Su Wen raised his hands in surrender. “So, what do you want to hear?”

“What were you doing in the past?”

Su Wen pinched his cheek; it was soft and a bit warm. “How far back are we talking?”

“Before you were 20,” Yun Shu thought for a moment. “The past.”

Su Wen’s fingers pinching his cheek paused. For a moment, he couldn’t think of anything worth saying about that time. After a long silence, he replied:

“Just… acting, I guess. Occasionally attending events with my parents.”

After saying that, he jerked his chin toward the bag hanging on the wall. “I probably played around this area for a while, too.”

“With whom?”

“The people in the photos?”

Yun Shu forced himself to stop his hand from reflexively reaching for the photos. “Didn’t you say you don’t remember?”

Su Wen was very frank. “Yeah. To be honest, I’ve forgotten most things from before I was 20.”

“Ah,” he suddenly remembered something. Yun Shu’s gaze immediately followed. “I remember I acted in a movie back then and won a Golden Dragon Award. I was in quite a few hit films.”

Yun Shu’s expression slumped. “Nothing else?”

“That’s about it,” Su Wen tilted his head to look at him. “As my fan, do you know something else?”

Yun Shu gave a bitter smile and said nothing. After a long while, he asked, “Why did you forget?”

“Forget the things before you were 20.”

Su Wen thought about it and suddenly dropped this: “Traumatic stress disorder.”

Yun Shu looked at him in confusion. He continued to explain: “Basically, PTSD.”

Few people could be so honest about such a thing. Yun Shu felt as if he had said something wrong and immediately fell silent.

But Su Wen didn’t seem to care, continuing on his own. “The doctor said that because the impact of certain injuries was too great, it caused memory gaps. Maybe there will be a catalyst to remember in the future.”

“What injuries?”

Su Wen’s expression darkened slightly. After a moment, he reached out and patted Yun Shu’s head. “A car accident. Do you really not know, or are you just pretending?”

Yun Shu found it hard to read him. Seeing him discuss a major tragedy that happened to himself so casually made it difficult to believe this was the culprit behind the PTSD.

Inexplicably, he remembered that back in the hospital ward, Su Wen had behaved the same way—indifferent, as if nothing had ever happened.

“I’m sorry.” He hugged Su Wen, nuzzling his head into his chest. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

Su Wen didn’t speak, just rubbed his head. “Is that all you wanted to ask?”

Yun Shu held him tightly, silent, reflexively worried that Su Wen would kick him out. Now his mind was filled with Su Wen’s hyper-reactive response back then; it was as if he were the culprit behind the series of misfortunes, and then, in a very short time, he was completely erased from Su Wen’s life.

This had always been a cloud of suspicion lingering in his heart. In just four days, how could ten years of feelings vanish overnight?

But he said nothing, just held Su Wen.

Su Wen, however, found his flow. He moved the pillow and lay back on the bed. “Maybe I’ve just got mental health issues to begin with. It probably has nothing to do with the accident.”

Yun Shu’s heart tightened, and he looked up at him.

“Do you know?” Su Wen said to himself. “Back then, when I heard they were dead, I felt nothing. Like a cold-blooded animal.” He propped his head up again to look at Yun Shu. “My parents died, they died right in front of me, and I couldn’t even cry. Am I crazy?”

His gaze was very strange, as if he were waiting for Yun Shu to say “You’re weird.” Perhaps he needed a “cold-blooded” evaluation.

Yun Shu kicked off his slippers and got directly onto the bed. He pulled Su Wen into his arms, just like back then. He regretted bringing up this topic.

“No,” his voice was very soft. “I know you miss them very much.”

He knew. Just like how every night, Su Wen would wake up suddenly and sit blankly on the edge of the bed, looking at a yellowed group photo over and over again.

Su Wen felt as if his hidden secrets had been pierced. He felt inexplicably hollowed out, and tears almost fell.

“Cry if you want to.”

Yun Shu suddenly said this, and Su Wen forced the tears that were about to fall back.

“Alright, alright,” he reached out and pushed Yun Shu aside. “That time has passed. What’s there to cry about?”

“Okay, okay,” Yun Shu wasn’t annoyed at being pushed away and leaned back in. “No crying then.”

Su Wen was amused by his tone, which sounded like he was coaxing a toddler. “Why are you talking like you’re coaxing a kid?”

Yun Shu opened his arms, his gaze very innocent and pure. “Then do you want to be my child?”

Su Wen lightly slapped his face, his tone becoming suggestive. “What? Want to stir up some trouble?”

The “pure” Yun Shu understood what he meant instantly, and his face flushed bright red. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“What’s what?” Su Wen patted his head again. “What goes on in that little head of yours? Hmm?” he said. “Can’t you think of something healthy?”

“Huh?!” Yun Shu stared at him. “Clearly it was you…?”

Su Wen looked very innocent and mimicked Yun Shu by blinking. “Me what?”

Then he continued righteously, “I meant the family hierarchy would be messed up, okay? The hierarchy! At that point, would you call me brother and I call you Dad?”

“Tsk,” he pinched the dazed Yun Shu’s cheek twice. “I’d be losing out. You’d be my son, you’d call me Dad, and I’d call you ‘Older Brother’.”

“How about it?” He suddenly leaned into Yun Shu’s ear and asked teasingly, “Older Brother…?”

Yun Shu’s already red face turned even redder, the color spreading down his neck and even to the tips of his ears. He leaned his face in and nuzzled Su Wen’s cheek, then looked at him with very clear eyes:

“You know I like you, so are you teasing me?”

Su Wen was stunned by the blunt question but quickly regained his composure, raising an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

Su Wen was half-kneeling in front of him. Yun Shu reached out and hugged his waist. “Are you asking if I like you, or if you were caught teasing me?”

Su Wen suddenly realized something. He frowned, looking at the head pressed against him, and asked intentionally, “Don’t you have someone you like? You liked them for so long, and now you’ve forgotten them?”

Yun Shu wasn’t bluffed. He placed a kiss on Su Wen’s stomach through his pajamas. “Are you jealous?”

Su Wen patted his face. “Why would I be jealous?”

Yun Shu didn’t argue with him anymore. He straightened up, knelt in front of him, and slowly moved forward on his knees. Su Wen reflexively backed up until he hit the wall.

Yun Shu reached out to cradle the back of his head, trapping him in that small space. He looked directly into his eyes, like the most sincere devotee declaring his loyalty to a deity:

“I like you… Su Wen. Whether in the past, the present, or the future, I have always liked you…”

His voice began to tremble, yet remained firm: “I… have always… always loved you.”