Why Does First Love Feel This Sweet? - Chapter 13

Chapter: 13 The Sinner and the Saint

In his dream, Sheng Yi returned to that night.

The bedroom curtains were thin, like a lingering ghost, lifted gently by the summer night breeze. The rhythmic chirping of insects amplified the infinite silence of the night. For some reason, the air conditioning wasn’t on. The strongest memory was the heat—stifling, ever-growing, refusing to dissipate.

He was sweating profusely. Damp strands of hair stuck to his forehead; his trembling eyelashes felt heavy against his eyes. The person granting him such intense pleasure remained silent. Sheng Yi peeked his eyes open and found the boy controlling him still appeared remarkably pure.

The silver silk pajamas looked like moonlight draped over his body. His clear, mirror-like eyes held the reflection of a crescent moon. Against Sheng Yi’s feverish skin, those cool fingers felt like pieces of polished jade. Their city was far from the ocean, yet he heard the sound of the tide—wave after wave.

Later, he realized it was his own breathing.

Sheng Yi’s reason was crushed by sensations he had never known. At a certain moment, a nameless dissatisfaction rose within him. He felt the person looking down at him with almost cold scrutiny was too far away, and too clean. That clear gaze made Sheng Yi’s own “impurity” feel starkly visible.

Logic vanished; he only wanted to pull that distant moon beneath the water.

As he tried to push himself up, a hand pressed firmly down on his shoulder, pinning him back into the suffocating deep sea, shackling his hands as they reached for survival. The other boy remained pristine, calmly observing him from above the surface.

Slowing the rhythm, the boy asked in a clear voice, “What do you want?”

Sheng Yi’s voice broke the moment he spoke, as if salt water were surging in. The boy’s voice was detached and calm. “Say it.”

Sheng Yi felt he was going insane. “Xiao Yu… save me.”

The fall of the moon made no sound.

Sheng Yi’s hair was soaked, his breath coming in ragged gasps. He watched as the silvery moonlight slowly descended toward him, bringing fresh oxygen and coolness as it sank into the water drowning him. A moist tongue brushed ghost-like against his parched lips, triggering a sudden, dizzying rush of oxygen.

He finally understood what he wanted. When he tilted his head up in desperate pursuit, the one who provided for his needs drew back. Though he was there to save him, he controlled the pace of that salvation with a near-cruelty.

His blood boiled; his heart thundered in his ears. His hands were pinned above his head as the boy leaned down. Sheng Yi’s eyes widened, staring at the person who was so close yet seemingly untouchable. “Xiao Yu…”

The boy observed Sheng Yi’s hazy, unfocused eyes with a newfound interest, slowly tearing through his shame with a lingering gaze. The sudden impact was fierce; Sheng Yi sank completely beneath the waves. He bit his lip in suffocation, but soft, cool moisture covered his mouth, prying his teeth open.

The rush of oxygen and the devastating stimulus drove him to madness. As the shackles loosened, Sheng Yi’s eyes turned red. His mind felt as if it were on fire; he lunged, dragging the indifferent observer down into the water with him. In a fit of vengeful entanglement, he sought to stain the boy who had remained spotless until the very end…

…

Sheng Yi woke from the dream with a start, his pupils trembling, gasping for air. Fresh morning light filled the room. He scrambled to sit up, realized something was wrong, and whipped back the blanket.

“Little Sheng Yi” was very energetic—in fact, he had completed a “mission” right there in the dream.

“…Fuck.” Sheng Yi jumped off the bed in a panic and rushed toward the bathroom. Habitually turning left, he suddenly realized the layout was wrong. He stopped and clutched his aching head.

It took a moment to remember: he had come to the Rong family’s main residence for Grandpa’s birthday yesterday.

Rong Yu had just finished showering and walked out in a bathrobe, drying his damp hair. Seeing Sheng Yi holding his head, he frowned slightly. “Headache?”

Sheng Yi looked up in terror, like a criminal caught in the act. “No.”

Rong Yu observed his expression, his gaze slowly drifting downward. Sheng Yi’s brain short-circuited. He lunged into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

Leaning against the door with a racing heart, Sheng Yi covered his face in disbelief. God, what did I do to my childhood best friend? He slowly lowered his hands, trying to recall the rest of that memory. What happened after that? Did they… really do it?

Sheng Yi slowly crouched down, clutching his head. The recovered memory stopped at a very awkward place. All he remembered was grabbing Rong Yu by the collar of his pajamas, pulling him down, and flipping him over to pin him down.

…And then?

Sheng Yi’s mental state collapsed. He leaned his head back against the bathroom door and laughed out of sheer misery. Brilliant. He had very likely slept with his best friend.

He sat on the damp tiles, banging his forehead against his knees. No wonder Rong Yu said they fell out because Sheng Yi “made a mistake.” You could even lay a hand on your own childhood friend? Sheng Yi, you’re a goddamn animal!

…

After ten minutes of soul-searching, the door was knocked. “Open up. I brought you a change of clothes.”

Sheng Yi gave a weak response. He stood up and opened the door just a crack to take the clothes. After a self-punishing cold shower, he emerged from the bathroom looking dejected. Rong Yu was already dressed, leaning against the wall waiting. He noticed Sheng Yi’s mood but didn’t pry. He handed over a phone. “There was a call just now.”

Sheng Yi glanced at him briefly, looked away guiltily, and took the phone. He walked out to the koi pond to return the call to Cheng Wenge.

“Wenge,” Sheng Yi said before the other could speak, “can you find me a job?” He realized he couldn’t stay a “parasite” in Rong Yu’s life after what he’d “done.” He needed to move out and earn his own way.

Back at breakfast, the tension was thick. Sheng Yi sat curled in his chair, feeling useless. “Xiao Yu… am I very useless?”

Rong Yu sighed, placing a hand on Sheng Yi’s head. “Are you really that afraid of owing me? Hang-hang, how much of our relationship do you actually remember?”

After some back-and-forth, Rong Yu finally relented and let him take a mural painting job at a cafe, provided Rong Yu could drop him off and pick him up.

…

Sheng Yi hopped out of the car with his tool kit.

“Wife, your husband is going out to make money!” Sheng Yi turned and gave a cool two-finger salute, flashing a dimple. “Hubby will make money to buy you a bag.”

Nearby girls swooned, and when they saw the stunning man in the brown cashmere coat behind the wheel, their hearts skipped again.

Rong Yu watched with helpless indulgence. “Call me when you’re done.”

“Love you, wife,” Sheng Yi winked and turned away. He took one cool step, slipped on a patch of ice, and wobbled violently. He managed to turn it into a cool slide, standing up straight and adjusting his hat to hide his panic.

Rong Yu laughed helplessly and rolled up the window to take a call from his professor, Wang Sizhe.

“Unbelievable, our star student Rong Yu is actually late,” Wang Sizhe teased.

“Family matters,” Rong Yu said concisely. He watched Sheng Yi enter the cafe, then parked in a nearby lot, putting on a black baseball cap and a mask. “Watching a kid.”

Wang Sizhe: “???”