When Spring Burns - Chapter 45

Sheng Xiaoyun was quite surprised to see He Jianxue arriving in a wheelchair. Her leg still hadn’t healed.

He Jianxue nodded slightly to her, glanced toward the bedroom door, and asked, “Is Mianmian at home?”

Sheng Xiaoyun followed her gaze and sighed. “Yes, she just got here and is crying.”

Hearing that she was crying, He Jianxue’s expression darkened. “May I go in and see her?”

Sheng Xiaoyun hesitated. “She’s not in a good mood right now. Let me ask her first.”

He Jianxue replied, “Thank you.”

Sheng Xiaoyun walked into the room and immediately spotted the huddled form under the blankets. Gently patting the quilt over her shoulder, she asked, “Mianmian, Miss He is here to see you. Do you want to talk things out with her? If not, I’ll ask her to leave.”

A choked voice came from under the covers. “I don’t want to see her right now.”

Sheng Xiaoyun quickly understood, it was only temporary. She knew this child well; Mianmian wouldn’t bottle things up for long. Though young, she was perceptive and didn’t hold grudges like adults who could nurse resentment for decades. If there was a chance to resolve things, she would take it.

“Alright, I’ll have her wait outside. But I need to go grocery shopping soon, so it might just be the two of you at home…”

After a moment of silence from under the covers, Sheng Xiaoyun patted the quilt and left. She exchanged a few more words with He Jianxue before heading out.

As the door closed, the house fell quiet.

He Jianxue waited by the door for a long time. She sent a message to Mianmian’s phone but received no reply. Glancing at the door again, she finally decided to wheel herself inside.

Arriving by the bed, He Jianxue looked at the slender figure under the covers. After a moment of silence, her red lips parted as she apologized, “Mianmian, I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s not that I don’t want you to take care of me, but…”

He Jianxue trailed off, thinking about the issues she’d been grappling with lately. The fault didn’t lie with Mianmian, it was her own.

She didn’t want Mianmian to grow too close to her, afraid that her own feelings would deepen uncontrollably. Since ancient times, familial love and romantic love rarely transformed into one; more often, they clashed, conflicted, and eventually turned to ashes.

“But what?”

Sheng Tingmian, unable to wait any longer for an explanation, threw off the covers and confronted her through tears.

He Jianxue saw her sitting on the bed, tearful eyes fixed on her, nose red, her soft, straight hair cascading over her chest. The faint light from the window behind her outlined her slender back, her waist subtly visible, lending her a fragile, almost ethereal aura.

“I…” He Jianxue opened her mouth but found herself unable to speak frankly.

Sheng Tingmian’s eyes stung. “What is it? Do you think I’m childish? Or are you trying to send me away?”

“You’re not childish,” He Jianxue quickly clarified. “I’m not trying to send you away. I just don’t want you to take care of me too much.”

Sheng Tingmian still didn’t understand. Her eyes red, she pressed further, “What do you mean, ‘too much’? It’s not like I enjoy taking care of people by nature. I only do it when you’re sick. Is that wrong?”

“I’m afraid of getting addicted.”

Those four short words silenced Sheng Tingmian’s torrent of questions. Her thoughts short-circuited for a moment. “Ad…dicted?”

What did that mean? She didn’t understand. Could it be that her sister was becoming obsessed with being taken care of by her?

Sheng Tingmian was utterly perplexed. Seeing that her sister had no intention of elaborating further, she wondered if it was because of Sister He Xiu, perhaps her sister was afraid of becoming addicted.

“Is it because of Sister He Xiu?” she thought. Sister He Xiu was also her sister’s younger sister, but they were separated by life and death, never to meet again. Could it be that her sister was afraid of becoming too attached to her, of growing addicted and infatuated with caring for her, only to fear losing her one day?

He Jianxue gazed at her deeply, hesitating as if wanting to speak but holding back, before finally letting out a resigned “Mm.”

Sheng Tingmian lowered her eyes, her heart a turmoil of mixed emotions. “But I don’t think I’m being overly cared for.”

Compared to her sister, her own care felt insignificant. She simply wanted to be a little kinder to her sister.

“It’s my issue,” He Jianxue admitted honestly. “You don’t need to blame yourself.”

Seeing her sister apologize, Sheng Tingmian quietly watched her for a moment, the anger that had risen in her throat slowly subsiding. Though tear stains still marked her face, she asked, “So, does Sister mean you want to keep your distance from me from now on?”

“No.”

Those two simple words completely untangled the knot in Sheng Tingmian’s heart. Reflecting on her sister’s fear of addiction, she realized it was essentially a fear of losing her as a sister. Sheng Tingmian could empathize with that sentiment, as she too had once been afraid of sinking too deeply into her sister’s tenderness, worried that once her sister married and started a family, she, Sheng Tingmian, would be left alone again.

So, she said, “I won’t leave you, Sister. I promised to be your sister for life, and I won’t go back on my word.”

“Really?” He Jianxue seemed dazed.

“Really,” Sheng Tingmian assured her, wiping away her tears with a smile.

The two reconciled their differences. After having a meal at their aunt’s house, Sheng Tingmian happily followed her sister home.

That night, He Jianxue, unusually, couldn’t sleep. Noticing this, Sheng Tingmian decided to stay up and talk with her.

Concerned, she asked, “Sister, is something on your mind?”

He Jianxue glanced at her. “It’s been a long time since I’ve heard you sing opera at home.”

Sheng Tingmian immediately understood. “Would you like to hear it now, Sister?”

He Jianxue asked, “Is that okay?”

“Of course it is,” Sheng Tingmian replied without hesitation.

She had promised her sister long ago that she would be her lifelong huadan (female opera role). Whenever her sister wanted to listen, she would sing, even without a costume, without makeup, and without accompaniment.

“What would you like to hear, Sister?” Sheng Tingmian asked. After a brief pause, the woman beside her replied, “The Peony Pavilion.”

“Alright~”

With that, Sheng Tingmian sat up, leaned against the pillow, assumed the proper gestures, cleared her throat, and began to sing softly.

“See how deepest purple, brightest scarlet
Open their beauty only to dry well crumbling,
“Tis the spent spring that pains the heart,
Where is the garden “gay with joyous cries”?

At dawn the free flying, at dusk the volume rolled up,
The cloud-veiled pavilion green with spring,
The gale in gusts, the rain in showers,
The mist-veiled waves and painted pleasure boat,
The rich screen and the courtly one,
Too slack to prize the bloom of youth.”

From the very first word she sang, He Jianxue was captivated. Hearing that delicate, theatrical voice again after months, whether at home, on stage, or even on television, her tone and breath control were flawless. Her skill was profound, her singing soft and mellow, delicate and lingering, enchanting the listener completely.

She began to understand why the nobles of old were so fond of opera performers. Such a unique voice existed only in her; only she could sing Kunqu opera so exquisitely. If this were in the past, countless dignitaries would have vied to admire her, keep her, and even claim her as their own.

And now, this opera performer was her sworn sister. Forget high officials and nobles wanting to keep her for themselves, even she couldn’t help entertaining such thoughts.

But… but she was her sister.

Some things required her to weigh what mattered more.

He Jianxue closed her eyes, her mind hazy and heavy.

After an unknown amount of time, Sheng Tingmian finished singing a selection from The Peony Pavilion and turned to look at the woman beside her, only to find that she had fallen asleep at some point.

Did my singing really lull her to sleep? Sheng Tingmian felt both amused and annoyed as she bent down to adjust the covers for her.

Gazing at the person so close, Sheng Tingmian’s heart softened. Though she didn’t know what was troubling her sister, at least in this moment, she was by her side.

Her thoughts drifted to the apology her sister had offered earlier. The word “addiction” brushed past her lips, and she unconsciously repeated it. Could it be that my presence distracts her too? Does she also worry about the regret of not having the other by her side in the future?

It suddenly dawned on her that she and her sister shared an unexpectedly deep connection in this regard.

Sheng Tingmian felt a mix of joy and sorrow, joy that their emotions resonated in some way, sorrow that her sister’s approach was to actively reduce her care and companionship, which explained why she had so coldly said, “You don’t need to take care of me like this.”

Didn’t she know how much that hurt?

But thankfully, she had apologized, and the stifling heaviness in Sheng Tingmian’s chest had eased somewhat.

She lay down, her hand brushing against the other’s arm. In the next moment, her expression turned grave. She quickly reached out to feel her sister’s forehead.

The scorching heat nearly frightened Sheng Tingmian. What’s going on? How did she get a fever again? She hurriedly got out of bed and called for the butler, instructing him to summon a doctor.

Rushing back to the bedroom, Sheng Tingmian saw the woman on the bed drenched in sweat. She hastily wet a towel in the bathroom, wrung it out, and sat by the bed, wiping the sweat from her forehead and cheeks.

As she wiped, she murmured anxiously, “Sister, what’s wrong with you? You’ve been working too hard lately, falling ill every other day.”

Noticing sweat on He Jianxue’s collarbone, Sheng Tingmian quickly pressed the towel there to absorb it. But the more she wiped, the more sweat seemed to appear. In the end, she helped her sister sit up to dry the sweat on her back.

Soon, the doctor arrived. Sheng Tingmian laid her back down and let the doctor examine her and administer an IV drip.

By four in the morning, an IV stand stood by the bedside, holding a bag of fluids.

After all the commotion, Sheng Tingmian sent everyone else back to their rooms to rest. She would take care of the rest, she would protect her sister well.

The entire night passed. When He Jianxue woke, she felt utterly exhausted. Perhaps I shouldn’t have worked overtime these past few days, she thought.

As she moved her fingers, He Jianxue felt a weight pressing on her palm. She looked down and saw a head resting on an arm in her line of sight, while her own hand was gently held by another, slender hand.

Their fingers were almost intertwined.

She was lost in thought for a moment.

He Jianxue’s expression darkened slightly as she closed her palm, brushing against the young girl’s fingers. They were as slender as willow leaves, with neatly trimmed nails glowing in an apricot-pink hue. The nail beds were beautifully elongated ovals, extending into delicate half-moons.

Her hands have never known hardship.

Sheng Tingmian, sensing movement, drowsily lifted her head from the edge of the bed. “Sister, you’re awake?”

Suppressing the faint stir of emotions inside, He Jianxue replied, “Mm, just woke up. What happened to me?”

Sheng Tingmian gently held her hand and explained, “The doctor said you’ve been very weak lately and prone to catching a chill. You had a fever last night.”

She let out a long sigh, her voice filled with concern. “Sis, please don’t work overtime anymore. It’s really bad for your health.”

He Jianxue gazed at her steadily, emotions swirling within her, yet she suppressed them and forced a faint smile. “I promise you, I’ll cut back on overtime.”

Seeing her sister so unusually compliant, Sheng Tingmian smiled warmly. “You’d better keep your word. The IV is finished, let me take it out for you.”

Following the doctor’s instructions, Sheng Tingmian carefully removed the infusion needle from the back of her sister’s hand, then handed the empty IV bag to a servant for disposal.

Just as she finished, Sheng Tingmian received a call from Du Jingya. She glanced at the person in bed, then turned and walked to the window to answer it.

He Jianxue’s eyes swept over her retreating figure before slowly turning away. In the background, she could hear Sheng Tingmian’s soft responses, seemingly agreeing to something.

After hanging up, Sheng Tingmian hesitated as she approached the bed. Looking at the pale-faced woman, she recalled her sister’s fear of addiction from the day before. Should she maintain some distance under similar circumstances?

Even though her sister had said it wasn’t necessary, people were complicated. How much of those words were genuine, and how much were false? Sheng Tingmian couldn’t quite decipher it, let alone fathom her sister’s true thoughts.

Biting her lip, she said, “Sis, Du Jingya asked me to go out for training. You should… rest well at home today.”

As Sheng Tingmian lowered her gaze and turned to leave, she was caught off guard when a firm grip on her wrist halted her abruptly, nearly causing her to stumble.

Surprised, she turned back. “…Sis?”

He Jianxue held her soft, fragrant hand, her eyes flickering with uncertainty. She wanted her to stay, yet reason reminded her that now was not the time to deepen their connection.

Yesterday’s “heart-to-heart” had merely been a tactic to keep her close. In truth, He Jianxue leaned toward maintaining distance, it was the only way to separate affection from familial love, to keep herself from selfishly blurring the lines. This phone call was the perfect opportunity to send her sister away, and she ought to be glad for it.

But…

Suppressing that “but,” He Jianxue released her grip, letting her sister’s wrist slip from her palm. She averted her gaze, refusing to look at Sheng Tingmian, and said in a cool tone, “Be careful on your way.”

Sheng Tingmian looked down at her wrist, the lingering pressure of that tight grip still palpable. She stared at it for a long while until, in a sudden moment of clarity, she sensed the insincerity behind those words.

Letting her hand fall, Sheng Tingmian tightened her grip on her phone adorned with a beaded chain.

After a moment’s hesitation, she bit her lip and sent a message to Du Jingya, saying she couldn’t make it to training today due to other matters.

Du Jingya replied with an “OK,” and Sheng Tingmian felt a wave of relief. Setting her phone on the bedside table, she picked up a hair tie, lifted her hands to gather her glossy black hair behind her ears, and began tying it up.

As she worked, she said, “Sis, I’ve been thinking, today’s Sunday, my precious day off. I’m not about to ‘work overtime’ either.”

At her words, He Jianxue turned back in surprise, eyebrows furrowed as their eyes met across the room, a trace of disbelief lingering in her gaze.

Somehow, Sheng Tingmian detected a deeply buried hint of joy in her sister’s eyes, like a quiet forest spring, flowing so subtly it was harder to notice than a melting iceberg. Suppressing her own secret delight, Sheng Tingmian gave her a knowing, gentle smile.

She had guessed right, her sister truly wanted her to stay.

It turned out her sister was a woman of contradictions too.