"What to do When the Pretty Woman I Kissed is My Best Friend's Professor" - Chapter 79

The young woman’s eyes were too sincere, like the wind, like the sun, clear as the bright moon, and soft as continuous spring rain. This was a love unique to youth, a sincerity unique to the young. They feared nothing, wishing only to place an honest heart before you.

Shen Jinrong looked into her eyes and was momentarily reminded of her younger self. But she knew that her younger self was nowhere near as resolute as Yan He  was now.

The first time she met Yan He, she felt the girl was very much like her. This similarity was not in appearance but a strange feeling. Yan He’s firm and clear eyes made her momentarily lost in thought during that first meeting. Looking into Yan He’s eyes, she felt as if she were looking at her twenty-one-year-old self in the mirror.

The emotions in those eyes were identical, but she and Yan He were different. Her family was unhappy, and even with her determination, a shadow always lingered in her eyes. Yan He was different; her eyes were steadfast and clear, a child who had grown up cherished and protected.

Shen Jinrong’s heart, though seated to listen to La Traviata, was not on the opera. Along with the singing, which was sometimes soaring and sometimes low, her heart also swayed, her mind continuously recalling her own appearance back then. Sometimes, when she glanced back unintentionally, she would see the young woman beside her frantically look away.

So young, Shen Jinrong thought.

What was her biggest wish when she was twenty-one?

Before meeting Tan Ning, she thought her biggest wish was to escape it all, to leave this world.

Just as she was completely prepared to leave, Tan Ning, the school’s psychological counselor, who had spoken with her during the day, noticed something was wrong. She called Shen Jinrong’s phone and, finding it unanswered, called the police.

And after that?

Was it the surrounding coldness, the already numb pain, or the exasperation of being saved?

Shen Jinrong couldn’t recall. She liked to be fully prepared for everything, but she was young then, and she hadn’t expected her entire plan to be ruined by Tan Ning. Initially, she was furious, but when she woke up and saw Tan Ning guarding her bedside, her heart felt struck by something.

She still remembered that moment: Tan Ning was resting in a chair with her eyes closed. Hearing the movement of Shen Jinrong waking up, she opened her eyes, which were bloodshot.

No one had ever cared about her so much. The last person who did was gone. That was many years ago, and her Grandmother Shen’s health was also poor, so they didn’t meet often.

Shen Jinrong thought Tan Ning was foolish. She was just a stranger; Tan Ning didn’t need to be so dedicated. Tan Ning had a sense of responsibility and was generous even to an ordinary student.

But she learned later that Tan Ning was too perceptive. She could sense Shen Jinrong’s intent to die, and she could also sense Shen Jinrong’s dependence on her.

Shen Jinrong, of course, knew that her feelings for Tan Ning were not romantic love; she merely wanted someone to rely on. But later, she noticed that Tan Ning was subtly distancing herself. This detachment was silent—first a quiet withdrawal, and then a deliberate avoidance.

Shen Jinrong could certainly sense it. She knew she couldn’t rely on Tan Ning like this. So, when Tan Ning told her, with a look of joy mixed with another indescribable emotion, that she was getting married, Shen Jinrong’s heart intensely trembled. After that, she told herself: It’s time to end this.

Tan Ning had never wronged her; it was Shen Jinrong who owed her a lot. Later, she finished her doctorate and returned to her alma mater, finally becoming ordinary friends with Tan Ning. She knew, though, and Tan Ning also understood, that they could only be ordinary friends. Tan Ning knew the difficult past of Shen Jinrong, but Shen Jinrong could not be as candid. She did not want to worry over the mistakes she had made in the past again.

Shen Jinrong took a deep breath, and seeing Yan He standing stubbornly next to the Mouth of Truth, waiting for her answer, her heart fluttered again. Yan He was frank; she was willing to reveal everything in her past. But Shen Jinrong could not be that open. She didn’t know when she would have the courage to tell Yan He about her past.

She had originally thought she could bury the past and pretend nothing had happened, but then she saw He Wei —Yan He’s aunt. Fate felt like a dull knife, refusing to give her a swift end, instead forcing her to constantly endure this pain.

She stumbled slightly.

Yan He hurriedly took two steps to steady her: “Sister! Are you okay?”

Shen Jinrong held onto her arm to steady herself and looked up. Yan He’s eyes were very clear; one could see the lighter color of her pupils when up close. But now, those beautiful amber eyes were filled with tension and anxiety.

“I’m fine,” Shen Jinrong offered a comforting smile.

Yan He sighed in relief. She secretly looked at her sister, noticing no reaction to her previous words, and felt a little disappointed. She was about to suggest they find a place to rest when Shen Jinrong suddenly pulled her into an embrace.

Tourists passed by occasionally, casting kind glances at the two women embracing. Right beside them was the Mouth of Truth, with its wide-open mouth and empty, staring eyes.

The hug was sudden yet incredibly firm. Yan He was caught off guard by being pulled into her arms, and for a moment, she felt the world was completely split open. The surroundings instantly quieted down, and a marvelous substance formed a small, sealed space around them, locking the two completely inside.

Security, and heartbreak.

Yan He hadn’t expected this embrace to happen in front of the Mouth of Truth. She thought it would be by the Trevi Fountain, or perhaps next to Piazza Venezia. But now, with their backs to the Mouth of Truth, this embrace felt more like a firm choice—sincere and unafraid of lies.

Shen Jinrong’s body was subtly trembling. Through the somewhat heavy clothes, Yan He couldn’t feel her body temperature, but she could feel her sister’s hot breath by her ear, as if she were deliberately suppressing something, or perhaps hesitating over an answer that couldn’t be spoken.

“Thank you.” Shen Jinrong’s voice was choked. Yan He vaguely felt tears sliding from her eyes, falling onto her shoulder.

Yan He didn’t know what to do. She noticed her hands were slightly trembling. Her senses were amplified infinitely, yet she couldn’t hear any sounds unrelated to Shen Jinrong. She could hear her sister’s choked voice, and the faint sound of her sister’s tears dropping onto her shoulder. She rested her head on her sister’s shoulder, silently sighing.

Sister, you have carried too much.

Sister, if those words cannot be spoken, then let them all be hidden in this embrace.

Yan He hugged her back, gently patting her on the back, and whispered, “There, there, good girl, don’t cry.”

Shen Jinrong sniffled and drew back from the embrace. Her eyes were red, like a small, aggrieved rabbit. Yan He offered her a tissue. Shen Jinrong took it and murmured a thank you.

“What I wanted to say just now was…”

Shen Jinrong wiped her tears, looked up at Yan He, who was slightly surprised, gripped her hand, and remained silent.

What does she want to say? What words does she want to say to me? If it’s a rejection—could I choose not to listen?

But Yan He smiled brightly at her, carefully hiding the panic in her heart behind the smile.

“Meeting you, I’m also very lucky.”

Shen Jinrong tucked Yan He’s wind-blown hair behind her ear and showed a brilliant smile.

It is clearly I who am the luckiest to have met you.

Yan He froze for a moment, then laughed. She squeezed Shen Jinrong’s hand and asked, “Should we go get ice cream at the Spanish Steps?”

Shen Jinrong pouted, sounding pitiful: “We just walked past there!” Bad kid, you don’t care about your elder sister at all!

They walked hand-in-hand for a while, and Yan He then suggested, “How about we find a place to have lunch first.”

Shen Jinrong agreed.

There were many people around, of different skin colors. In this foreign land, because she had Shen Jinrong, Yan He suddenly felt it was no longer so unfamiliar.

They could walk hand-in-hand down deserted alleys, stepping on the slightly rough cobblestones with a history of over a hundred years. They could also walk on the wide, bright streets, listening to the horns of passing cars and looking at the goods in the transparent shop windows nearby.

Nothing was impossible, and nothing was mandatory. As long as the two of them were together, they could do anything, go anywhere.

Sitting in a restaurant, Shen Jinrong suddenly asked Yan He, “What do you think ‘History’ represents?”

Does it represent past glory? Or a forgotten past?

This question has never had a precise answer. History could be something that happened yesterday, or it could trace back thousands of years to ancient times.

Yan He tilted her head to think, then replied, “History is the past.”

“Things that happened in the past are history—the glorious and the ruined. Some cities may have shone brightly for a moment and then vanished into dust, and some cities may have once been shamed, but today they still soar high.” Yan He spoke slowly. She seemed to guess the purpose of Shen Jinrong’s question, and her words carried a sense of certainty—”History is fact. It’s there, laid out. Whether we want to or not, it’s something that genuinely happened.” Yan He thought for a moment and added, “I once took a class on Contemporary History, and the professor said this: ‘The study of history is the nostalgic desire to see ancient dead things revived in warm life.'”

She looked at Shen Jinrong, her eyes more resolute than ever: “Sister, the past is over. No matter what happened, it is just the past.”

It is just the past. It will only be the past.

Shen Jinrong pursed her lips for a long time, then suddenly laughed out loud.

“You’re absolutely right.” She took Yan He’s hand and winked at her: “Then—to praise the young one, what do you want to eat for lunch today? My treat!”