Weakness Trap - Chapter 57

That night, Yu Qingluan lay slumped over the desk, staring blankly at the box of scented balm as if her soul had drifted miles away.

She knew she should rest, but this matter weighed so heavily on her heart that sleep remained elusive. Yet she refused to dwell on it consciously, allowing her thoughts to wander aimlessly instead.

Emotional burdens may be invisible and formless, but they pressed down on her shoulders with tangible weight, forcing a sigh from her lips.

The late autumn night had grown quite cold, and her breath materialized into a white mist that clouded her vision, obscuring the balm from clear view.

She held her breath. The balm remained motionless.

This object that had troubled her all day simply stood before her, deathly still.

Yu Qingluan had picked it up, tested its weight, even tossed it aside experimentally. It never changed form.

Its quality certainly lived up to its labeling.

Which only deepened her frustration.

She could have simply thrown it away.

But Yu Lingxue had been right.

She truly did need an effective calming product.

Otherwise, every time she closed her eyes, columns of data would automatically parade through her mind, accompanied by similar yet distinct patterns, refusing to grant her peace until the wee hours when she’d finally manage fitful sleep only to dream of her studio again.

A few more years of this, and she’d surely develop chronic illnesses, joining her grandmother at the infirmary table.

Among all the products she’d tried, the one Yu Lingxue had given her worked best.

She couldn’t bring herself to discard it definitely not because of Yu Lingxue.

Yet using it felt equally unpalatable, and this time it was indeed because of Yu Lingxue.

Yu Qingluan glanced at the time and her bloodshot eyes in the mirror, gritted her teeth, and applied the balm to her forehead.

“Just pretend you found it somewhere,” she repeatedly told herself.

She closed her eyes and fell asleep, indeed slipping quickly into dreams.

But these dreams felt different.

She dreamed of Yu Lingxue.

It had been so long since she’d last dreamed of this person.

The rare occasions over the past two years when she’d dreamed of reconciling with Yu Lingxue had jolted her awake, leaving her to stubbornly resist sleep for the remainder of the night.

This time, however, she dreamed of being with Yu Lingxue.

Intimately.

Physically.

The Yu Lingxue in her dream felt soft and smooth.

Even more exaggerated than the texture of the balm, like clouds coated with glycerin that would scatter with a firm squeeze.

And fragrant too. Yu Qingluan seemed to catch the scent of roses, or perhaps only osmanthus.

They leaped from autumn directly into winter, and Yu Qingluan watched Yu Lingxue’s hair turn from black to white.

She didn’t kiss Yu Lingxue, didn’t hold her gently as she once had, greedily savoring her warmth and softness.

Though they were close, though they embraced each other, Yu Qingluan hazily perceived in her dream the vast distance between their hearts, feeling her brows furrow and the tip of her nose ache.

They seemed not like lovers, but like adversaries.

She loathed the person in her grasp, thus seeking to control her, restrain her, make her completely hers only to ultimately abandon her.

The face of the person in her hands remained blurred, her body merely a expanse of white, yet Yu Qingluan knew with absolute certainty that it was Yu Lingxue.

Yu Lingxue seemed displeased, seemed indifferent.

Or perhaps loved her too deeply, refusing to let go even slightly, holding her so tightly it stole her breath.

After they made love, they had a fierce argument that escalated into physical struggle she slapped Yu Lingxue, or tore at her clothes the dream dissolved at that moment.

Yu Qingluan didn’t wake with a start, and the next morning she recalled nothing of this bizarre dream.

It wasn’t until the following night, when Yu Qingluan saw the balm again and prepared to apply it, that her mind suddenly resurrected the previous night’s dream.

Yu Qingluan paused, the scented balm falling to the floor.

Then, she furrowed her brows and kicked the balm into a corner with some embarrassment.

She always said that thing was unlucky.

How could she bring herself to use something given by Yu Lingxue? The very thought made her uncomfortable.

Yu Qingluan would rather lie in bed, tossing and turning, pondering the development of her studio and the clothing theme for the season after next.

As she thought, that blinding white color once again invaded her mind.

Yu Qingluan pinched her wrist, which was once covered in scars, until it hurt.

Two weeks later, winter arrived with the aroma of lamb soup, the whiteness of snow, and the chill of the wind.

Yu Qingluan also received the interview results for the assistant position.

Selina called her and asked when she would return to M Country, as the Winter Fashion Show was about to begin.

As an emerging brand with some reputation, it was crucial for them to participate in this exhibition.

“At the latest, the Wednesday after next. I still have some paperwork to take care of in Harbor City,” Yu Qingluan said, flipping through the candidates Selina had screened twice.

Perhaps because their brand had gained some recognition during the spring season, and Yu Qingluan was quite popular at school, dozens of applicants had applied for the assistant position alone.

After screening resumes and the first round of interviews, ten candidates remained. Selina was waiting for Yu Qingluan to make the final decision.

“Ethnic Chinese, fluent in four languages, basic embroidery skills.” Yu Qingluan came across a resume that seemed promising.

“Name is Glacier.” She read further and found that the candidate’s professional experience also met her requirements.

“Have these three prepare for the final round of interviews with me,” Yu Qingluan said. If possible, she preferred working with someone of Chinese descent.

However, she still needed to assess the candidate’s professional skills. If they weren’t up to par, she would have to choose someone else.

After that, Yu Qingluan buried herself in work. Yu Lingxue seemed to have disappeared, and she didn’t pay much attention to it.

The scented balm she had kicked into the corner, much like Yu Lingxue herself, temporarily vanished from her life.

Yu Lingxue took the opportunity to visit Li Ran, who had settled in M Country, and her niece’s family.

“Planning to develop your career here? Not bad. I’ve already paved the way for you,” Li Ran said, without mentioning Yu Qingluan, and handed Yu Lingxue a cup of herbal tea.

“Teacher, I’m talking about you. How could you not notice such a big person right under your nose? Was it on purpose?” Yu Lingxue held the cup, sighing helplessly.

Her voice had changed, and her appearance, bone structure, and even her height and build had slightly altered.

Even her own mother might not recognize her. When Li Ran first saw her, she was startled, thinking she had mistaken her for someone else.

“Ahem.” Li Ran averted her gaze.

Yu Lingxue could get angry with Yu Yuehuan, but she couldn’t bring herself to be upset with Li Ran. After all, they were just a friendly, harmonious teacher and student.

“Who taught you these skills?” Li Ran didn’t ask what Yu Lingxue planned to do.

M Country was a chaotic place. Whatever Yu Lingxue intended to do didn’t seem all that surprising.

“Jing Qi introduced me. Said the person might be involved in some shady business,” Yu Lingxue replied indifferently.

She only needed to learn a few tricks to deceive ordinary people like Yu Qingluan.

“So, I’ll have to visit you in prison someday?”

“Ugh.” Yu Lingxue threw a pillow at Li Ran. “You and your nonsense.”

“Be nicer to your teacher. I’m already old,” Li Ran said, rubbing her head and pretending to be hurt.

“You’re in your seventies and eighties, yet you’re still not being honest you won’t help me find Qingluan.”

It seemed this matter wasn’t going to be let go. Li Ran decided to give up and stopped paying attention to Yu Lingxue’s temper.

“You should focus on taking care of your health. You’ve been busy for two years and have secured your position isn’t it time to think about yourself?” She abruptly changed the subject.

Yu Lingxue fell silent instead, leaning back with lowered lashes, a storm brewing in her eyes.

Li Ran sighed. “You’ve already found this person, yet you refuse to let go. Surely you wouldn’t want to almost lose her again because of your health, would you?”

“I, I know.” Yu Lingxue took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

Her breath scattered the steam rising from the teacup, yet it still clouded her vision.

“It’s just.” Yu Lingxue spread her hands open, then clenched them tightly.

“I can’t hold a needle anymore.” Whether it was due to her weakened body or a hidden pain in her heart, she didn’t know.

Before, Yu Lingxue hadn’t treated anyone for a long time because of her busy schedule.

Later, when she had some free time, she found she could no longer perform acupuncture.

The skill she took pride in had faded away in the currents of power and time.

Occasionally, when she looked up from her work, Yu Lingxue would feel as though she was no longer herself.

Still, she thought it was worth it.

At least now she could protect Yu Qingluan.

Like that guy, Luo Lang or whatever, who wanted to spread rumors about Yu Qingluan within five minutes of the news breaking, her subordinates had detected it and informed her.

By the tenth minute, she had already contacted the media, removed the trending topics and all related articles, and issued warnings forbidding them from publishing any malicious content about Yu Qingluan.

Even though she only controlled half of the media outlets, the other entertainment companies didn’t dare cross her. In such a sensitive climate, they wouldn’t risk slandering the one she held dear just for money and traffic.

At least her little bird wouldn’t suffer so much again that she’d set a fire, punishing herself and Yu Lingxue along with her.

“Then go practice formulating medicines, brewing decoctions, and cultivating herbs. There’s always something you can do.”

Li Ran listened without making a fuss or reacting in any way that would make Yu Lingxue uncomfortable.

The heaviness in Yu Lingxue’s heart eased slightly.

“After finally taking you on as a student, how could I just abandon you like that?” Li Ran shot her a glare.

“Chinese medicine isn’t just about acupuncture. It’s not like you don’t know other things. Stop wallowing in self-pity all day it’s annoying to watch.”

Yu Lingxue thought about it and felt exasperated. “Well, it’s because you didn’t help me find her before.”

Yu Lingxue was promptly shown out of Li Ran’s home.

The employee at Finnis Yan who also handled HR sent the interview time to Yu Lingxue.

Perhaps to encourage and reassure her, they also included some notes.

【Our designer, who will be your future colleague, will also be there. However, she isn’t the main interviewer that’s still me. She’ll be observing throughout and might ask you a few questions at the end. Don’t be nervous; she’s very kind.】

Seeing this message, Yu Lingxue took a deep breath.

She had guessed that Yu Qingluan would personally interview her.

After all, Yu Qingluan needed a personal assistant. Besides professional skills, compatibility and whether they could get along well were also important.

This was precisely why Yu Lingxue had applied for this position.

She couldn’t bear the thought of someone else becoming Yu Qingluan’s personal assistant.

Just imagining that possibility made her so jealous it felt like her chest was tearing apart.

For this, Yu Lingxue had done a lot of preparation. Not only had she carefully studied all of Yu Qingluan’s works, but she had also spent time practicing her disguise.

But when she heard that Yu Qingluan would personally conduct the interview, Yu Lingxue still felt nervous.

She couldn’t decide what to wear, repeatedly sending outfit options to Yu Yueheng and the others for their opinions.

In the end, Yu Lingxue settled on a common North American style she had copied from an advertisement.

As a native of Huaguo, she had always used health issues as an excuse to conduct video conferences from Hongcheng for collaborations, sending trusted aides for business trips instead.

This was her first time in the United States. Unfamiliar with the local customs, she had to learn everything on the fly, like forcing a duck onto a perch.

Yu Lingxue was genuinely afraid of exposing herself, even though her resume didn’t include details about her upbringing.

She spent a long time on her makeup and practiced alone in front of the mirror for hours after taking the voice-altering medication.

Finally, steeling herself, Yu Lingxue set out. So nervous that she misread the time, she arrived at the interview location two hours early.

When she arrived, the studio was still mostly empty. Only Selina, who had interviewed her last time, was there. Selina greeted her and offered her a glass of water.

Yu Lingxue sat nearby, anxiously waiting, when her phone suddenly rang.

She opened it to find a message from an unknown number.

【Let’s meet.】